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The train station was quiet that morning. The air was cold. The sky was grey. Jun stood alone on the platform. He held a small bag in his hand. His coat was zipped all the way up. His black hair moved gently in the wind.His eyes looked tired. Not just from lack of sleep. But from waiting. From hoping.He had waited too long.Jun looked at the big board that showed train times. His train would arrive in five minutes.He sighed. He thought of Thame.Again.Always Thame.
Thame. The boy who made him smile. The boy who made him feel safe.
The boy who never said what Jun wanted to hear.The boy who never fought for him. Not once.
Jun had given him time. So much time. He waited through every silence. Every “maybe.” Every “not yet.” Every time Thame looked away.He thought maybe Thame was
scared.He thought maybe Thame would change.But no. Thame stayed in his quiet world. A world where Jun was close… but never close enough.
Jun blinked and looked down the tracks.Still no train.He sat on the bench and put his bag beside him. His hands were cold, so he rubbed them together. He remembered the last time he saw Thame.
It was three nights ago. They were on the rooftop of Jun’s apartment. They looked at the stars.Jun turned and said “I can’t wait forever, you know?” Thame didn’t answer. He just gave a small laugh and said, “You always say that.” Jun’s chest felt tight that night. He looked at Thame and said, “I mean it.” Thame looked at him with his big, soft eyes. But he still said nothing.
Jun left first. Thame didn’t follow. Now, Jun was leaving for real. He looked at his phone. No messages. He checked again. Still nothing. One minute. Then the train came. The doors slid open. A soft voice spoke from the speaker: “This is the train to Chiang Mai . Please stand in front of the doors.” Jun stood up slowly. He looked back. Just once. Just
to see…
But the platform was empty. Only cold wind and white clouds. Jun felt something in his chest. A small twist of pain. But he didn’t cry. He walked inside the train. The doors stayed open for a few more seconds. Just long enough for one last chance. Jun stood inside the doorway. He looked out one last time.
Still no Thame.
Still no voice shouting, “Wait!”
Still no sound of footsteps.
Jun’s lips pressed into a thin line. His eyes looked heavy. The doors closed. With a soft click. And the train started to move. Slowly. Then faster. Jun didn’t look back anymore. He walked down the aisle and sat near the window. He placed his bag on the floor and leaned his head on the glass. Outside, the world was moving. But inside, Jun sat still. His heart was quiet. Not empty. Just… tired.
But back at the station…
Something was happening. Far behind. Someone was running. Fast. Very fast. Thame. His coat was open, flying behind him. His bag fell somewhere behind him, but he didn’t care. He was shouting Jun’s name.
“JUN!”
His chest hurt. His legs burned. But he kept running. Too late. Always too late. He reached the platform just as the train was leaving. He saw it through the glass. He saw Jun. He saw the soft black hair. The sad face. But Jun didn’t see him. He didn’t hear him. Thame shouted louder.
“JUN! PLEASE!”
He ran beside the train. Screamed again. People stared. He didn’t care. He just wanted Jun to hear him. To see him. To stop. But the train went faster. And faster. Until it was gone.
Thame dropped to his knees. He was gasping for air. His hands shook. “Why didn’t I say it?” he whispered to himself. “Why didn’t I stop him?” His voice broke. The train was gone. And Jun was on it.
The train moved faster now. It passed buildings. Trees. But Jun didn’t look. He sat by the window. His head rested on the cold glass. His eyes stared forward, but he wasn’t really seeing anything. He was thinking.
No.
He was feeling. But the feelings were all mixed up. Heavy. Quiet. Sad. Still. He was not
angry. He was just… tired.
Jun opened his phone again. No messages. No missed calls. No Thame. He smiled a little. But it wasn’t a happy smile. It was that small, bitter smile people make when something hurts,but they don’t want to cry anymore. A voice came from the train speaker:
“Next stop in twenty-five minutes.”
Jun didn’t care where the train was going. He only wanted to get away. Away from the city. Away from the memories. Away from the waiting.
He thought:
“If he wanted to stop me… he would’ve come.”
Jun closed his eyes.
Back at the station…
Thame was still on the ground. He had not moved. Not for five minutes. Not for ten. His hands were in his hair. His fingers pulling, twisting. He looked up at the sky and whispered, “Why did I wait so long?” His voice cracked. His lips were dry.
A station guard walked over and asked softly, “Sir? Are you okay?” Thame nodded quickly, stood up fast, and said, “I’m fine. I just… I dropped something.”
But his eyes were red. His hands were shaking. The train was gone. Jun was gone.
Thame sat on a bench, the same bench Jun sat on earlier. He looked around. No one else was there now. It felt like the world was quiet,too quiet. He put his face in his hands. His shoulders shook. He didn’t cry loudly. No sobs. No screams. Just a quiet pain. A slow, heavy ache in his chest.
Thame whispered to himself:
“Why couldn’t I just tell him?”
“Why was I scared?”
“He waited for me… and I let him go.”
He remembered every word Jun said.
“I can’t wait forever.”
He remembered how Jun walked away from the rooftop. He didn’t chase him. He just stood there. Like a coward.
“Why didn’t I say something?”
Thame stood up again. He grabbed his phone. He opened the chat. Still no goodbye message from Jun.
He typed:
“I’m sorry. I was on the platform. I was late. I saw the train. I saw you. Please come
back.”
Then his fingers stopped. He stared at the message. Then deleted it.
Why?
Because Jun wouldn’t believe him now.
Because sorry was too small.
Because Jun had already waited too long.
Back on the train…
Jun looked down at his lap. His fingers were playing with the zipper of his coat. He suddenly remembered the first time Thame touched his hand. It was small. Just a light touch. Their pinkies had brushed under the table. Thame pulled back fast. But Jun had smiled at him. Thame smiled back. That was a long time ago.
They had so many “almost” moments.
Almost a hug.
Almost a kiss.
Almost a confession.
But never real.
Never enough.
Jun sighed. He felt something strange in his chest. Not pain. Not joy. Just an empty space.
He whispered under his breath, “Why didn’t you stop me?”
The train kept moving.
Back at the station…
Thame finally stood up. His legs were weak. He left the platform. Walked slowly through the halls. Out of the gates. Out into the street. But he didn’t go home. He just walked. No direction. No goal. Just… moving.
He thought about running after the train. But it was useless. He didn’t know where Jun was going. He didn’t ask.
But once Jun had told him before, “If I ever leave one day, I’ll go to Chiang Mai.” Thame remembered now. His heart jumped. He opened his map.
Chiang Mai. Two hours away.
Was there still time?
He ran to the bus stop. No buses for another hour. He checked trains. Next one in forty minutes. Too long.
He groaned.
“He’ll be gone by the time I get there”
But then another thought came:
“Go anyway.”
“Even if it’s too late.”
“At least try.”
Thame bought the ticket. He waited, tapping his foot, heart pounding. Jun’s train… almost at the next stop.
He still didn’t know Thame had come.
He didn’t know Thame was running.
He didn’t know Thame saw him through the window, screaming his name.
He sat alone. A woman sat two rows ahead, reading a book. An old man snored softly nearby.
Jun was the only one not doing anything. Just thinking. Just breathing. Just remembering.
He thought about turning on music. But he didn’t want to hear anything. He didn’t want noise. He wanted silence. So he could hear his own thoughts clearly. But all he heard was a quiet voice inside:
“Maybe he did love you.”
“Maybe he was just scared.”
“But it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Because he didn’t come.”
Then something strange happened. Jun turned his head suddenly. He looked toward the train door. Why? He didn’t know.
Just… a feeling. Like something was missing. Like someone was supposed to be there. He waited a second. Then shook his head.
“Don’t be stupid,” he told himself.
“If he wanted you, he’d be here.”
He looked back out the window. The train slowed down.
The speaker spoke again:
“Next stop, Chiang Mai Station. Please gather your belongings.”
Jun sat still for a moment. Then stood. He picked up his bag. Took a deep breath. And walked to the door.
Back with Thame…
He was on the train now. Looking out the window. His legs bounced with nerves. He held his phone tight.
He searched over and over:
“Hotels in Chiang Mai”
“Chiang Mai Station map”
“Where do people go after arriving there?”
He was trying to guess. Trying to find Jun. Trying to fix what he broke. He was scared. Not of seeing Jun. But of not seeing him. Of being too late again.He whispered:
“Please wait a little longer.”
“Just once… let me be the one chasing you.”
Back at Chiang Mai Station…
Jun stepped off the train. The wind was warm here. Soft and gentle. Different from the cold city he left. He walked slowly, taking it all in. But his eyes… still sad. Still searching. Even though he told himself to stop. He sat on a bench again. Same as before. But in a new place. He didn’t know what to do next.
Check into a hotel?
Find a cafe?
Walk around?
He didn’t know. He just sat.Bag in his lap. Hands still.
The station in Chiang Mai was not very big. There were a few benches. A small coffee shop. Some taxis were waiting outside. Jun sat on the bench near the far end. His bag sat on his lap. He was looking down at his hands. Not crying. Not smiling. Just sitting. Still. He had no plan. He had no hotel. No one waiting. No job to start. No place to go. He just needed to breathe in a new city. He needed space. From the past. From the waiting. From Thame.
He leaned his head back. Closed his eyes. Let the sun touch his face. A soft breeze passed through his hair. He felt calm. But also… a little lonely.
Then,at that very same moment…
Thame’s train stopped at the same station. The doors opened. People came out fast. But Thame didn’t rush. He stood up slowly. His heart beat so hard it was hurting. He stepped down onto the platform. He looked around. His eyes moved everywhere. Left. Right. Behind. Ahead. He scanned every bench. Every face. Not him. Not him. Still not him.
“Where are you?” Thame whispered.
He pulled out his phone. No messages from Jun. He started walking down the platform. Looking. Searching. Jun was still there. But he was on the other side. Behind a big pillar. The kind that blocks everything. They were maybe just twenty steps apart. But they didn’t see each other.
Not yet.
Jun stood up. He felt stiff from sitting too long. He walked toward the coffee shop. Slow steps. Thame walked past the bench Jun had been sitting on, seconds too late.
If Jun had turned just a little—
If Thame had looked just one more time—
If fate had been just a little kinder—
They would’ve locked eyes.
They would’ve stopped.
But not yet.
Thame stood at the center of the station now. Hands on hips. Eyes wide. Heart breaking. He asked the lady at the information desk, “Did a boy come here? Black hair. Pale skin. Maybe alone?” She smiled kindly. “A lot of boys look like that.” Thame gave a small, sad laugh. “Yeah. Right.”
Jun stood at the coffee shop counter. He ordered something small. Just coffee. He looked tired. But peaceful. He sat by the window. And for a second, just a second,he thought he saw something outside. A flash of a coat. A face he used to know. But when he blinked nothing. Just people. Just strangers. He shook his head.
“I need to stop thinking about him.”
Thame walked past the window. But he was looking at the other wall. So close again. So far again. He walked out of the station. Jun stayed inside. They missed each other by only a few seconds. Outside, Thame sat on a bench. He looked at the sky. Blue. Bright. Happy. But he felt empty.
He told himself:
“Maybe he changed his mind.”
“Maybe he didn’t come here after all.”
“Maybe he’s gone somewhere I’ll never find.”
He felt tired. Too tired to walk anymore. Too tired to try again.
Jun sat at his table. His coffee untouched. He opened his phone. Scrolled through old messages. He stopped at the one from two days ago. From Thame.
It said:
“Come to the rooftop tonight?”
Jun didn’t reply that night. He didn’t know if he should. Now it didn’t matter. But he didn’t delete it.
Back outside, Thame stood up. He walked a little. Then stopped. He looked back at the station.
“One more look,” he thought.
“Just one more time.”
Inside, Jun also stood up. He picked up his bag. Maybe it was time to leave the station. Find a place to stay. Walk around. Clear his mind.
He walked toward the exit.
Thame walked toward the entrance.
The same path.
Two people.
One moment.
Closer…
Closer…
Then something small happened.
A child dropped her drink in front of Jun.
He stopped to help.
Just for ten seconds.
Ten seconds.
Thame passed the spot.
Didn’t see him.
Again.
Jun looked up as Thame disappeared into the crowd behind the glass doors.
He felt his chest tighten.
He didn’t know why.
Just a small, sharp feeling.
Like something just passed him.
Something important.
Something he missed.
He whispered, “Why do I feel like…”
But he didn’t finish.
He turned away.
And Thame?
He went back inside.
Eyes low now.
No more hope.
He passed the coffee shop.
The table was empty.
He didn’t know Jun had sat there.
He didn’t know he had almost seen him.
He kept walking.
And that’s how it ended. Jun went left. Thame went right. The sky stayed blue. But the
moment passed. They missed each other…
Again.
But fate…
Fate is funny.
It waits.
It watches.
It gives second chances.
It was late afternoon. The sun was starting to go down. The sky turned orange. Jun walked out of the station. His bag over one shoulder. His coffee is still in his hand. He had no plan. He just walked. The streets were calm. A few people here and there. Some cars. Some laughter far away. But around Jun, it was quiet. He passed a little bookstore. A flower shop. A park.
Then… he saw a bench. Under a tree. It looked safe. He sat down.
And he thought,
“I should stop thinking about him.”
“He’s not here.”
“It’s over.”
But his heart whispered,
“Not yet.”
At the same time…
Thame walked out of a side street. His eyes low. His steps slow. He was tired. So tired. His chest still heavy. But he didn’t want to go home yet. He just wanted to walk. To breathe. To not think.
He turned a corner.
And stopped.
There.
Under the tree.
On the bench.
Sitting quietly.
Was Jun.
His heart jumped.
So fast. So loud.
He almost couldn’t breathe.
He rubbed his eyes.
Looked again.
Still Jun.
Sitting alone.
Looking at nothing.
Holding coffee.
Same Jun.
Same face he knew.
He didn’t move at first.
He just stared.
Everything inside him was shaking.
“He’s here.”
“He’s real.”
“I found him.”
But then his fear came back.
What if Jun didn’t want to see him?
What if Jun walked away again?
What if it was too late?
Still…
He stepped forward.
One step.
Two.
Slow.
Careful.
Jun didn’t see him yet.
Then a bird flew down in front of Jun.
He looked up.
He saw movement.
A shadow.
He turned his head—
And froze.
Thame.
Standing a few feet away.
Breathing hard.
Eyes wide.
Lips slightly open.
Looking at him.
Jun didn’t speak.
Not yet.
He didn’t move.
He just stared.
Like maybe he was dreaming.
Then Thame said, softly,
“Hi.”
Jun blinked.
Still quiet.
His fingers tightened around his coffee cup.
He stood up slowly.
They were now face to face.
No words yet.
Just eyes.
Looking.
Reading.
Remembering.
Thame took a breath.
“I came to the station,” he said.
“I was late. You were gone.”
Jun still didn’t speak.
He looked at Thame’s face.
The tired eyes.
The messy hair.
The coat hanging off one shoulder.
He was real.
He was here.
Jun’s voice was soft.
Barely louder than a whisper.
“…Why are you here?”
Thame licked his dry lips.
“I had to see you.”
Jun asked, “Now? After everything?”
Thame nodded.
“I know it’s late. I know I was stupid. I know you waited too long.”
He stepped a little closer.
“But I’m here now.”
Jun looked away.
“I didn’t think you’d come,” he said.
“I almost didn’t,” Thame replied.
Then he smiled,small, broken.
“But I ran. For once… I ran for you.”
Jun’s chest ached. He wanted to cry. But he didn’t. He just stood there. Still.
“You didn’t fight for me,” Jun said.
Thame looked down.
“I didn’t know how.”
Jun looked at him again.
“I was always waiting.”
“I know.”
“I waited until I couldn’t anymore.”
“I know.”
Jun took a shaky breath.
“Why now?”
Thame looked up.
His eyes were full of tears that didn’t fall.
“Because I finally understood what it means to lose you.”
They stood in silence. The wind moved between them. Cars passed. Birds flew. But their world was just the two of them.
Jun finally asked, “What do you want, Thame?”
Thame stepped closer. Very close now.
“I want to try.” he said.
“I want to stop being scared.”
“I want to choose you.”
“Even if I’m late.”
“Even if it’s hard.”
His voice shook.
“I just… I want to be where you are.”
Jun looked at him for a long time.
Then…
He whispered,
“I don’t know if I can trust you again.”
Thame nodded.
“I understand.”
“I don’t know if I can believe you.”
“I’ll wait.”
“I’m tired, Thame.”
“I know.”
“But I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
Jun’s eyes filled with tears. He looked down.
“I hate how you make me feel sometimes.”
“I hate that I hurt you.”
“But I also hate not seeing you.”
“I hated that more,” Thame said softly.
They stood there.
One step between them.
Then…
Jun moved first.
He took that one step.
Closed the space.
And then,just quietly, gently,he leaned forward.
And rested his forehead against Thame’s.
No kiss.
No hug.
Just that soft, warm touch.
Forehead to forehead.
Breath to breath.
Eyes closed.
Hearts full.
Thame whispered,
“Do I still have a chance?”
Jun whispered back,
“…Maybe.”
And that was enough.
For now.
They sat on the bench together. Not touching. Not talking much. Just sitting. Letting the silence be soft again. Not cold. Not empty. Just quiet. Like peace. The sun set behind the trees. Orange turned to gold. Then pink. And their shadows sat close together on the ground. Still. Finally,together.
Jun and Thame sat on the bench under the tree. Neither of them said much. But their silence
felt different this time. Not heavy. Not full of pain. Just quiet. Safe.
Jun looked up first. He looked at Thame beside him. Thame’s hands were in his lap. His coat was open now. His face looked calm—but a little scared too.
Jun asked, softly,
“Why did you wait so long?”
Thame turned to him.
“I thought I had time,” he said.
Jun nodded slowly.
“I thought so too,” he whispered.
Thame took a breath.
Then said, “I wanted to say it before. I really did.”
Jun asked, “Then why didn’t you?”
Thame looked at the ground.
“I was scared.”
“Of me?”
“No. Of myself. Of how real it felt.”
Jun didn’t reply right away. He looked at the sunset.
He said, “I waited for you so many times.”
“I know.”
“I looked at my phone every day.”
“I know.”
“I kept thinking maybe… one day… you’d say something.”
Thame closed his eyes.
“I wanted to.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
His voice was soft but hurt . Thame opened his eyes and said,
“Because if I said it… it would all be real. I’d have to be honest. I’d have to show you all
of me.”
Jun blinked slowly.
“I would’ve taken all of you.”
Thame looked at him.
“I know that now.”
Another silence. But this one felt warm. Like something was melting between them. Like
the ice was gone.
Then Jun turned to him fully. Face to face. Knees touching. He asked, “Can you say it
now?” Thame stared at him. Jun’s eyes were wet. Not crying, just soft. Open. Waiting.
Thame nodded. Slow. Scared. But sure. He reached out and took Jun’s hand. Hold it
gently. And said,
“I love you.”
The words were small. But they felt huge. Heavy. Important. Like a door opening. Jun’s
lips parted. He looked at Thame.
And said, very quietly—
“I love you more.”
And then it happened. Slow. Natural. Soft. Their faces moved closer. No rush. No panic.Just a quiet pull. Jun tilted his head. Thame closed his eyes. And their lips touched.
It wasn’t wild. It wasn’t perfect. It was slow. Gentle. Just their lips, touching and holding.
Saying things they were too afraid to say before.
Jun’s hand moved to Thame’s cheek. His thumb brushed his skin. Thame leaned into it. Their kiss deepened, still soft, still slow. Like they had all the time in the world now.
When they pulled back, their foreheads stayed together. Breathing in the same small space. Eyes still closed. Smiling.
Thame whispered, “You still love me?”
Jun nodded, touching his nose to Thame’s.
“I never stopped.”
They stayed like that. Close. Safe. Finally. Later, they walked together. Still hand in hand. They didn’t talk much. They didn’t need to. The silence was full now. Full of understanding. Full of love. Full of second chances.
Then, Jun said,
“Let’s not rush.”
Thame smiled and replied,
“I’ll follow your pace.”
Jun laughed softly.
“You better. I walk slowly.”
Thame grinned.
“I’ve been running. Slow sounds good now.”
They kept walking.
Side by side.
This time, not missing each other.
This time, together.
They stayed in Chiang Mai for two more days.
Walked by the river. Sat in bookstores. Watched sunsets. Held hands in public, shy at first, then not at all. On the last day, Jun looked at the train schedule.
Thame asked, “Are you going back?”
Jun looked up.
“Are you?”
Thame shrugged.
“I’ll go wherever you go.”
Jun looked at the sky. It was cloudy now. But he smiled.
“I guess we’re going home.”
Thame nodded. Then whispered,
“This time, together.”
They didn’t run for the train. They walked. Slow. Like they had time. Because now, they did.
On the train back…
Jun sat by the window. Thame rested his head on Jun’s shoulder. They watched the world pass by. Trees. Towns. Their fingers were laced together.
Thame whispered, “Do you think people like us ever get it right?”
Jun looked at him.
“We didn’t the first time.”
Thame nodded.
“But now?”
Jun smiled.
“Now we’re trying.”
And sometimes…
Trying is enough.