Chapter Text
Every day without fail, she was there.
Carmen had been visiting a library in the middle of town for the past several weeks. Rain, snow, heat, exhaustion, after every workday she'd show up, even occasionally popping in on the weekends. She'd found the place by complete accident while on the hunt for a cafe. If only her other accidents had resulted so positively...
She enjoyed the quaintness of the library. Sometimes she'd sit and admire the architecture, sip on a drink she took from her work break room, reading that book she'd just checked out (or the one she'd been renewing for a few weeks), or getting lost in her own thoughts. Most would call it a boring waste of time, but to Carmen, it was just what she needed daily.
Today was no different. She'd get up, walk or bike to her job, work, work, work until she lost track of time or until her lunch break hit. Work some more. Daydream. Work again. End her shift. Walk home, get distracted by an animal, get sad when it runs away out of fear, gaze at the sky, and eventually find herself back inside the library.
But by far her favourite part of walking into the building was seeing—
"Good evening."
Oh– that's right. She's right in front of her.
That slightly enforced intonation snapped Carmen right back into reality. Emphasizing the syllables like she was talking to a distracted child. Or like she'd already said it once and Carmen just didn't realize it. Yeah, probably the latter.
"Oh-! Good evening Angela. Sorry..."
The librarian behind the desk let out an almost inaudible nasal huff. Carmen didn't know if it was because she was annoyed with the fact she hadn't heard her, or the fact she'd apologized for something so small.
"That's the third time this week you've nodded off while talking to me. Am I really that boring?"
Carmen couldn't tell if she was joking or being dead serious. Then again, she wasn't exactly a pro at social cues either...
"Sorry," There goes another apology. "I've been doing more work than usual lately." she said, trying to laugh it off.
"You sure? You know, if you collapse on the floor, I won't be calling anyone to come get you." Angela responded with a slight hint of a smirk.
"Oh really?" Carmen teased, "If my memory serves right, you asked me where I was twice when I was late by thirty minutes last Tuesday."
Angela rolled her eyes.
"You probably like having me here, don't you Angieee~?"
She let out a combination of a scoff and a very strange cackle.
"Angie? Are you serious? How long have you been waiting to call me that?"
Since they first met.
"I just thought of it on the spot," she smiled, "Oh well, I'd better go find my book or whatever."
She picked up her drink off the front desk and swiftly turned away on her heel.
"See you when I check out, Angie."
Angie. Really?
It's been almost two hours and she was still thinking about that stupid nickname? It was dumb. So, so dumb.
Maybe she just wasn't used to it. Nobody had ever called her something like that before. It was weird and unnatural. No wonder she was thinking so deeply about it. No other reason.
Or was it because she liked it?
No. Couldn't be. Don't think about it like that. Actually, don't think about it at all. She wasn't thinking about it. She wasn't staring at the same page for the past nine minutes. No, she wasn't, not at all.
It wasn't like Carmen's words rang around in her skull like a gong. Drowning out every other sound and thought and word and sense and—
Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.
Angela jolted in her seat and looked to the antique grandfather clock in the main room. She'd never willingly put that beat-up thing in her library, but she'd kept it since it came with the building. And she wasn't going to pay to have someone remove it. That didn't matter now. She had time. It was only–
20:30? Closing time already?!
She swore it'd only been a few minutes since– actually, never mind. She didn't need to think about that.
Bookmarking her page, she cracked her knuckles and began her usual closing procedure. Clear out any remaining guests. Close the blinds. Put loose books back where they belong. Wipe down what needs to be cleaned. Empty the trash. Throw forgotten belongings into the Lost & Found bin. Check out Carmen, who was always the last to leave. Turn off the lights. Lock the doors and go home.
Check out Carmen. She never checked out Carmen.
...
Oh well!
She probably just didn't get anything this time and left without saying a word. Or calling her— no. Stop it.
Angela fumbled with her keys, trying to find the front door key that looked identical to the twelve or thirteen already on the keyring. Carmen left and that was that. And even as she reassured herself of that a billion times still she couldn't focus on finding that damn key.
She was gone. She wasn't here. She left. No she– yes she did.
Ah, what purpose did lying to herself serve...
She knew she didn't leave.
Carmen never left without saying goodbye. Even on her worst days when Angela would gaze into her glassy eyes and watch her wipe her sweaty palms on her lab coat and excuse it as "itchiness". When her words threatened to break apart in her throat and she caught just a tiny stutter in her usually composed voice. When she was clearly at her breaking point, yet she still made an effort to show up. She always said good evening and goodbye.
And Carmen would most certainly call her that again on her way out. She'd make sure she heard it too.
Angela just sighed, tucking her keys back into her pocket and going to search for Carmen.
She started on the first floor, looking behind her desk, in the break room, behind every bookshelf, in the kids' area, and even in the bathrooms. No luck. She double checked it, thinking maybe the girl had slipped right under her nose. Still nothing.
As she climbed to the second floor, she called out her name, and all that answered was a faint echo of her heels and the aforementioned words spoken from her lips.
Alright, same thing here. Between the shelves, under the tables and desks, in the dusty back room, inside every little nook and cranny she could find. She would never admit all the unrealistic places she'd checked along the way. How on earth would someone fit inside a drawer?
But no matter where she checked, there was no sign of Carmen anywhere. Hell, she'd even climbed the ladder in the back room up to the roof which had been opened maybe thrice since she'd bought the place. No sign of Carmen anywhere.
Sighing and groaning, Angela made her way back down to the first floor. If she was still in the library, just where the hell was she?! And if she'd left without saying a word, why? Was she really that tired? Did.. did she not want to say goodbye? Was she unhappy with the way Angela greeted her?
Did she not want her company anymore?
...
She was still here.
Angela was sure of it.
Carmen liked being around her. She'd never leave out of nowhere. Not like that. She liked Angela. She wanted to be around Angela.
Twirling her keyring, she paced around the room, looking up and down and in and out trying to find Carmen. Hoping she was still here. She thought about checking the security cameras to look at who left and who didn't, but not before doing another sweep of the entire building.
She was already getting kind of sick of this. It had been half an hour after she was supposed to go home, and here she was looking for a girl she didn't even know was around. In her recklessness, she'd knocked over a few books and tripped over the legs of chairs and sides of bookshelves.
Finally, she concluded that enough was enough. She'd leave. She didn't care if this was some dumb prank or if she'd been lingering somewhere hidden all night.
At this point, Angela couldn't care less as she made her way down the stairs. In heels. Speed walking out of anger. On freshly polished floors. In the dark of the night.
How ignorant was she again? To her knowledge, not very.
Until she tripped over her own shoes and fell straight down the last few stairs.
"Son of a— dammit!!"
She gritted her teeth and squuueeeeezed her left ankle tight, hissing as the pain of it smacking the marble stairs shot through her leg. Her keys meanwhile flew across the room and landed under one of the desks as she cursed to herself.
"Sscchhhhh..! Fuck..! I knew I should've renovated that stupid stupid marble..."
After a second of getting used to the pain, she looked to the offending marble in question. Stupid beautiful natural colors and tones. Dumb looking intricate designs and hand-carved patterns on the side of the stone staircase. That awful gold that complemented the cozy feel of the library and black streaks so well.
For a moment, she just lay there on the floor staring at it in the blue moonlight, harbouring a newfound heat-of-the-moment animosity for the gold embellishments that adorned the railing and staircase sides. And in those moments, she appreciated its odd beauty. That she hated now, of course.
As the pain in her leg slightly faded away, her eyes had already made their way to the end of the pattern and now focused on the bookshelves on the far end. She could barely see them in the night, and their location under the second floor shielded them from much of the natural light.
Yet, from one of the shelves under the stairs, a faint yellow light seeped through the bottom.
Fucking dammit.
Angela leveled herself— ironically by leaning on the stairs that hurt her in the first place— and limped to retrieve her keys before approaching the bookcase. Her sore ankle still hurt quite a lot, she just got a bit more used to it now.
Letting out a deep, exhausted exhale, she tipped a psychology book from the bookshelf towards her. She didn't want to admit the number of books she'd thumbed through trying to find the right one. Instead of falling to the ground like the others, she stepped back a bit as the bookcase popped out a few centimeters.
The light behind the case illuminated the room, bathing the previously dark floor tiles in a warm, orange glow. Angela fully opened the bookcase and peered down the stairs, getting a little more annoyed as she began limping down them.
"Carmen?" she called down in a quite annoyed tone.
No response.
At this point Angela had had enough. She didn't care if Carmen knew she was fed up. Hell, she'd probably chew her out for making her hurt her ankle. She just wanted to get this over with. With gritted teeth and countless bitter thoughts whispered under her breath, she descended the final step.
And all those thoughts seemed to fade away.
At the bottom of the stairs was a small room. She didn't care what the previous owners used it for, she only used it for storage after all. It was mostly used to store loose, misplaced, and damaged items, then she began to put old desks and chairs in there as well.
And in the corner, lying in one of those chairs, was Carmen.
She stopped and just.. stared. Moments ago she yearned to yell and scream and kick Carmen right out of her library. She was keeping her here! Angela couldn't go home with Carmen in the building; this was all Carmen's fault! It was all her fault that Angela had to drag her ass around her own damn building, hell, she even thwacked her ankle against those damn marble stairs looking for her!
With a stern look on her face and a sick rage in her eyes, Angela ripped the blanket right off Carmen's body. Her lab coat, which she'd taken off to use as a second covering too flew to the ground. The girl's hair was down, with that red bear hairtie she always wore right around her wrist and her bag resting on a broken table with a stack of books beside her.
She was going to grab her shoulder and shake her until she could hear that little brain rattling around in her head. How dare she doze off and keep her here like this... she was going to—
Oh.
Oh...
In her lap she had a book. Marking a page by pinching it between her middle, index, and thumb. Angela wouldn't have tried to wake her so hastily had she known about the presence of her property.
A peek at what she was reading couldn't hurt, right? It wasn't Carmen's book after all. She hadn't even checked it out yet.
Basics in Injury Treatment - Paper Cuts to Broken Bones by Liv Inng Potaytou
She gingerly pried the book from Carmen's hands and took a little glance at the page she had marked.
Chapter Nine - Tending Wounds & Preventing Infection
Interesting. The only medical book she'd previously checked out was also about wound care. As she put the title right back into her hand, Angela reminisced about striking up some small talk with her about it a week or two ago. Apparently she wanted to learn how to provide first aid to her employees.
No– that was besides the point. She didn't care that much about Carmen's personal life. She needed to go home, not care for some regular at her library. Just wake her up already!
But–
No buts. No more messing around.
But there's something that would be a little more fun.
Instead of jerking Carmen awake like Angela oh-so wanted to do, she grabbed the stack of other medical books Carmen had accumulated and sat down on a matching chair beside her.
Scabs & Scars, What's the Difference? by Rhevv Iie
Human Anatomy by Row Anne
100 Ways to Cope with Physical & Emotional Pain by Amy Buhh
Human Anatomy: All New Enhanced Edition by Row Anne, co-written by Juh "Jack" Akk
Bones. (It's Literally Just The Title) by Flaowre Chaield Voyd
Human Anatomy Without All That Bullshit by Katt Bhurgur
Let's Take a Look At Some Injuries! by Keiv Inne
Looking through the titles is fun enough. She quite enjoyed seeing the petty book beef and "spite writing" for herself. It was always fun to see people passively fight over something so oddly specific with such a passion that it leads them to publish entire books about it.
Oddly enough, every single book was something about health and the human body. Usually, Carmen picked out a variety of titles. There was always at least one book that deviated from the rest, but not this time. Nope. Everything was something about treating injuries and aspects of the body.
She picked one at random and began to thumb through the pages.
Chapter One: How Did We Get Here?
"Have you ever wondered why there are so many health books on the market and how they all got there? Well, as a five-star health professional, I'm here to tell you why!"
Not this shit again.
It was like finding a beautifully presented pastry, clicking to see the recipe, and being met with the baker's entire life story from the moment they were conceived in the womb to their psychic predictions of their future. Yak yak yak. Frustrated, Angela furrowed her brow and turned the pages. Six. Seven. Eight nine ten.
Oh Wings... it's all just yap.
"My fascination with the human body started when I was just—"
"And when I was in my twenties, I went to—"
"Before I knew it I was working in–"
"In the future I want to become a—"
Oh. Goodness.
Finally, after at least twenty pages, she reached the next chapter.
Chapter Two: Basics of the Human Body
"If you need to buy a book to figure out what types of injuries there are, you probably also don't know basic anatomy. So let me break it down for you..."
Geez. Okay. Damn.
As the title obviously suggested, this chapter was all about basic anatomy. Important veins, organs, and crucial spots to look out for the most. She read a bit of the finer details, but spent most of the time looking at the extremely detailed diagrams of the human body. It was incredibly fascinating as to how humans figured all this out. And even with thousands of years of research under their belt, there were still aspects of the human body that puzzled even the best researchers.
Angela traced the nail of her index finger along some of the diagram's veins. From the arteries, to the wrists, up and down the nervous system leading to the brain. There was something so interesting, yet discomforting, about seeing the inner workings of everyone she saw every day, including herself of course.
She continued reading for a little while, never once glancing at the broken clock hung up in the corner nor appreciating the fact it was still right twice a day. And even though each title relayed the same set of information, the unique wording never seemed to grow old. It didn't even click that she'd read about the function of the aorta three times until she heard someone next to her yawn.
Oh yeah, she was here too. She was the whole reason she was here.
"I'm assuming you're going to check that out?" Angela said, trying to keep it nonchalant but letting a bit of smugness slip through.
As Carmen came to, she rubbed her eyes with one hand and looked down at the book in her other.
"Hmm..?"
In the moment her eyes adjusted to the light, she found herself staring the librarian straight in the eyes.
Gotcha.
"Oh– oh!! I, I'm sorry– I didn't mean to fall asleep, I promise- I swear!"
Overcome with embarrassment, Carmen immediately glanced around the room and grabbed her bag and books, not even noticing that Angela was clearly reading one she planned to check out. Her lab coat was swiftly picked up and patted down along with the blanket she'd been using, all while whispering countless apologies under her breath.
"Hey," Angela spoke as she got up from her chair, "it's no big deal. Really."
It was hard to think that just a short while ago she would've yelled at her like there was no tomorrow. But now, everything was okay. There was no need to scream or argue, just understand. Especially if it got her to stop apologizing.
"You probably had a long day; it happens to all of us."
Angela put a hand on Carmen's shoulder to which she flinched.
"Sorry Lady Angela.. I'm sorry.." she said for the hundredth time that minute.
She only smiled back at her, handing back her copy of Human Anatomy: All New Enhanced Edition and beginning to walk back up the stairs.
Angela led Carmen through the darkened halls of the library to the entrance and hastily rang up every book for her.
"I'm sorry. I really am so sorry. I didn't mean to—"
'It's alright. You don't need to say you're sorry."
She'd failed to drown that hint of annoyance out of her voice. She only hoped Carmen wouldn't take that to heart if she'd noticed.
Oh, who was she kidding? She definitely noticed.
As Angela double checked that each book was registered in the system correctly, Carmen picked at her nails a little more than usual. Her jaw pressed hard against the roof of her mouth just a bit tighter than she was used to. Her leg bounced and eyes darted much more frequently than every other time she'd been there.
If Angela looked even a tiny bit away from that computer, she could see everything. Her nervousness. Her worry. The fact Carmen was holding in a thousand apologies but didn't want to annoy her with that, even though she felt that a million more "I'm sorry"s weren't even enough. But whatever ancient deity Carmen had prayed to clearly listened, and she thanked them for the fact that Angela's eyes were glued to whatever was on that screen.
"Have a good evening, Carmen. Get home safe, okay?"
Angela handed her the books, and without even looking in her direction, Carmen took them and speed walked towards the door.
And the pale librarian could only hope that under her breath, she'd said nothing but goodbye.