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Lottie is crazy. Simple as that. There were no magic gods from the wilderness or… whatever that followed them home and simply chose Nat for dead. That was no sacrifice. There was no resemblance of order to what happened. It was a terrible accident. An unlucky unhappy hellish accident!
And now Nat is dead. As dead as one can be. Which, unfortunately, is a permanent sort of thing.
“It doesn’t have to be the end,” Lottie says through the phone and Misty doesn’t even know how Lottie got her number.
It’s tempting. Truly! But Lottie is crazy and Misty is not.
“Say that to your doctors, yes? Don’t contact me again. Thank you.”
“Wait! Misty.”
Misty hesitates. She chews on her bottom lip, still on the line. She was never crazy like them. Not even back then.
But she wanted to be.
“The Wilderness took her. She was chosen. You both were.”
Misty fixes her glasses back in place. Despite her best judgement, she is still listening.
“It owes you.”
Misty snorts a laugh and moves the phone back to her ear.
“That doesn’t sound crazy at all. Seek help, Lottie. Bye.”
But Misty stays on the line a little longer, just long enough to hear Lottie whisper:
“You just have to ask The Wilderness. It owes you.”
And that’s when Misty hangs up.
The issue is that, even days later, Lottie’s voice still lingers. Misty wonders if it was always like this for the others. Misty fixes her glasses and looks ahead, squinting at the menu that is still too far away from her place in line for her to see properly.
Lottie is crazy. There is no way Misty is listening to her. Didn’t she call her from a psychiatric facility, after all? Misty tracked down that call a couple of days prior to this…field trip. It was simple: phone number, address, resident doctor and all that; easy. The place is more of a spa than a proper psych ward which does explain how Lottie got away with calling Misty just to ramble insanities.
Misty checks her phone. Visiting hours should be starting in six minutes, and she is still stuck in this line. This place is not getting a perfect review from her even if she is just a short walk away from where she plans to go. Misty fixes her glasses again.
She just needs to see Lottie. And make sure she is still crazy. Not that Misty doubts it, no, that would be even crazier than Lottie herself. No. This is just… an update, keeping tabs on old friends and all that, you know? Their sort of bond doesn’t just go away. They are connected for life.
Even if Lottie is crazy.
So, truly, Misty is being a good friend by checking on her. All very normal behavior. Caring, even!
Misty fixes her glasses back in place one more time. She always wanted to see the magic in what they went through. If it could, just this once, turn out that Lottie is not fully out of her mind, that would be…
Well, Misty isn’t really sure what that would be. Maybe magic is real then. Maybe Lottie is not crazy. Maybe they are not just a group of trauma-bonded cannibals. Maybe they are actually cursed.
And, maybe, Nat doesn’t have to be dead.
So, Misty really can’t miss visiting hours, okay? There is method to this.
Mostly.
Lottie never looks as crazy as she is, which is a skill that Misty can respect. She smiles when she sees Misty waiting for her in that room, opening her arms as if she plans on hugging Misty. Misty raises both her hands up and forces a smile. Lottie’s smile doesn’t even waver.
“I’m so glad you came.”
Misty doesn’t let her guard down.
“Well. The jury is still out on it being the right call.”
Lottie doesn’t seem bothered by it just like she doesn’t seem bothered by this place. Lottie is the type of person who always seems to be in control. And, as if to prove the thought correct, she gestures towards the chair as if she is hosting Misty for the occasion. Misty laughs a little before realizing Lottie actually means it. Misty presses her lips in a thin line and sits down across from Lottie.
The chair is nice. Comfortable. Sturdy. A good choice for a place like this.
“Have you called to It?” Lottie asks without any other icebreakers and that brings Misty back to reality with a hard pull.
“No. Of course not.”
Misty fixes her glasses back in place. She knows Lottie already figured it out: Misty wants answers. Worse: Misty wants it to work. Lottie smiles at her, but Lottie doesn’t have that sort of grip on Misty.
“I’m not here to… get in the way of your treatment,” Misty starts and pauses. She isn’t sure how to ask for the things she wants to learn.
“But you need to know,” Lottie says, leaning forward as if she needs to get closer to Misty.
“No,” Misty counters and Lottie sits back straight, as if that was a physical push. Misty isn’t there to entertain Lottie’s crazy. “I’m curious about what you meant by all that.”
Lottie smiles at her again, pleased and approving. It’s uncomfortable.
“You just have to listen.”
“Listen to what?!”
“To the call.”
Misty fixes her glasses in place and sighs softly. This is it: a waste of time and a mistake. In the end, Lottie is just crazy, and Nat will remain dead.
It’s a disappointing realization.
“You’re crazy,” Misty informs Lottie, but Lottie doesn’t seem to care about that statement.
“You must listen to It,” Lottie insists.
Misty gets up to leave, and Lottie reaches out to grab her arm. Misty steps back and out of her way, startled by the movement.
“You have to,” Lottie says, hand still stretched towards her and eyes wide and serious as she stares at Misty. It makes Misty uneasy and it takes a lot to make Misty uneasy.
Misty steps away. This whole trip was just a wishful thinking motivated mistake. Lottie is as crazy as she has always been, and Misty just wasted her day off chasing a dead end. So Misty is leaving and Lottie is going back to her treatment and, hopefully, they will both forget about this meeting.
“It needs blood,” Lottie says suddenly.
Misty blinks and turns back to Lottie. It’s too late for Lottie to try and talk her into any sort of blood magic delusion. Misty has already hit the button to call for the nurse.
“What?!”
Lottie can be so very frustrating.
“You can make an offering, and It will answer.”
“Didn’t you say it owed me?” Misty laughs.
“Misty.”
Lottie seems solemn. Misty still has questions – and complaints! – but the nurse walks in the room and they all know this conversation is over. So, Misty leaves the clinic with just that bit of totally not ominous nor crazy piece of information to work with and, two days later, there is really no sane explanation for what she ends up doing.
Digging up a body by herself is a little harder than it seems. And she came prepared for the task! Well, as prepared as she possibly could without a lookout and some extra hands. She is not about to risk it all over a little less work.
So, getting Nat’s body takes all night with proper water breaks. When she finally gets to the coffin, her arms ache and her palms burn a little. She gets it opened, and she finds exactly what one would expect to find, which is still a little disappointing. Nat is just there and all this talk about being chosen by the magic gods of the forest is not doing much for Misty.
Nat looks frozen.
Stiff.
Dead.
But Misty doesn’t dwell on it. She gets a switchblade from her pocket and a package of her own blood that she collected from herself a day ago from her backpack. Then she pauses. She laughs nervously at the insanity of the scene, but she has no time to waste so she cuts the blood bag anyway and watches as the blood covers Nat’s body.
It’s a mess.
And… absolutely nothing happens. Misty laughs again and fixes her glasses.
She discards the bag in a proper container she brought for it. Of course nothing would happen. What did she expect, really? After all this time, suddenly trusting Lottie’s spiel? Anger settles in and she isn’t sure if she is angry at Lottie for being crazy, at herself for listening or at The Wilderness for not being actually real.
“Is it the blood?” she asks to no one in particular, mocking and bitter. “Does it have to be fresh?” she asks the air and then whispers to herself: “This is crazy. Lottie is…insane.”
A sudden gust of wind makes the leaves of the nearby trees move. It sounds like whispering. The wind is cold, and it makes her face ache a little. It feels like winter has come. A shiver runs down Misty’s spine.
She hesitates for a second and then says:
“If you owe me, this is how you repay me,” she tells the wind and points at Nat’s body. “I want her back.”
Misty waits for something magical to take place but, of course, nothing happens. It’s a little frustrating. Even so, she can’t say she is surprised. She looks at Nat, now covered in Misty’s blood, and she feels like she could drown in the sadness that takes over her. Nat is just there, dead.
And then, Nat opens her eyes.
Misty gasps and steps back at first. She doesn’t dare look away. Then she steps forward again and leans closer. Nat stares at her, unblinking and still dead. Misty frowns, trying to explain this situation to herself, trying to force it to make sense.
The wind blows again, cold and strong this time. It makes her close her eyes for a moment. There is something off about this whole thing. Misty feels uneasy. She opens her eyes and looks around, just to make sure she is still alone. She looks back at Nat, but Nat has her eyes closed again.
“Nat?” she whispers just in case.
Misty waits and licks her dry lips. Her expectations grow, but nothing happens. She drops her shoulders, annoyed by this turn of events.
“Haha. Very funny,” she tells the air. She is done with party tricks. “You have to do better than this.”
Silence follows. The cold wind seems to have stopped. The trees no longer whisper around her. Nat is just lying there and magic isn’t real.
“I’m going to be blunt here, Misty. Did you dig up Natalie’s body?” Shauna asks through the phone and Misty never thought she would be so annoyed by a check-in call.
“What?! No. Did you?”
Misty is a very good liar, but her very sincere annoyance is what truly will truly sell this reaction. When Shauna goes on, she sounds a little insulted.
“Listen – .”
“No, you listen, Shauna. How could you ask me that? After everything? I love Nat.”
“That’s why I’m –.”
Misty is already shocked by that, but she can’t raise suspicions any further. She is done with this call.
“Are we talking graverobbers or some other kind of psycho here? Have you tried contacting the police? Honestly, Shauna, I can’t be the answer to every single problem that comes up.”
Misty ends the call before Shauna can reply. Her heart is hammering in her chest. She is not quite sure what to do, but she knows she needs a plan before anyone else figures out that Nat’s body is really sitting at the table in Misty’s basement.
Natalie wakes up and Misty is already on her face again. Talking is hard, moving is hard, stiff muscles and all that. Natalie is vaguely aware that she has been dead. She feels like she must still be.
On some level, at least.
Misty fixes Natalie’s seatbelt anyway, leaning over her while talking non-stop. She gets back up, out of Natalie’s range of vision for that moment. Then she comes back into view and boops Natalie’s nose with a grin.
Natalie realizes she hasn’t listened to a single word of what was said, but it doesn’t really matter: Misty just seems to feel obligated to fill the silence. Misty gets back in the car and drives. Natalie watches the road ahead because that’s what her body allows her to do. Misty puts on some music. Natalie doesn’t remember where they are going. Everything seems hard like this.
“…fuck… ed… up,” she manages to say, and she can see the way Misty’s grip tightens on the wheel.
Misty already knows this is fucked up, but Natalie was never one to shy away from calling people on their bullshit. She can picture Misty’s expression clearly in her mind. Misty has always worn the same expression in face of rejection. The silence stretches thin and uncomfortable between them and Natalie feels guilty for a moment.
“It will be a lot better once we get you all fixed,” Misty says after what felt like forever.
Natalie doesn’t know where they are going, but that sort of thing makes her think of a past that she wishes would stay gone. She wants to point out there is no fixing death, but her tongue is stiff and heavy inside her mouth.
“I know what you are thinking,” Misty says. “But Lottie has assured me this will work.”
Natalie wants to call bullshit on Lottie’s... whatever. It’s hard to see clearly what is real and what is just Lottie. Natalie frowns a little and Misty laughs, sounding nervous.
“I know what you’d say. I was always a little skeptical but here you are!” she laughs again, strained and a little scary. “So, it works. Shocking, right?!”
“Misty,” Natalie manages to say.
“I know you are worried, but it’s okay, Nat. Really. It’s you; there is no way I could just stand by.”
Natalie isn’t sure what sort of thing Misty has been up to, but she knows it involves Lottie and bringing Nat herself back from the dead. There is no way this could end well, and Natalie really doesn’t want to get caught up in it. She doesn’t want Misty to walk down this path. It may not be the same exact way Travis followed down, but Natalie is sure this will end the same way.
“It will be okay, I promise,” Misty reassures her, but Natalie knows better than believing those cursed words.
In the end, nothing is okay and Nat is gone and it’s Misty’s fault all over again.
After everything, Lottie calls her again and again, but Misty hasn’t forgiven her yet. Maybe, at some point, Misty will accept the call, but not right then. Not after all that mess with Nat which is very much Lottie’s fault. She orchestrated it like some sort of cartoon villain pulling all the strings. She took advantage of Misty’s feelings. And that has nothing to do with being crazy.
Which Lottie is.
Even if the Wilderness magic was actually a real thing that really happened to them.
Misty is convinced that Lottie knew all along that the Wilderness wanted to fully devour Nat and she used Misty to deliver Natalie to those lying gods. Or whatever they are. Misty hasn’t left the bed in the past 36 hours. It’s fair to say she is not doing great. Her phone vibrates, screen facing down next to her pillow. Lottie is calling her yet again and Lottie is crazy enough to refuse to accept no after no.
Misty has her back to her phone. The way things turned out sucked so bad she is willing to let it break her.
But Lottie keeps calling and the soft buzzing of those calls keeps Misty from sinking into mind-numbing despair. Her phone goes silent for a moment. For a second, Misty wonders if it died, but then the buzzing starts again and Misty is angry. Misty rolls over and picks the phone, answering the call.
“Misty,” says Lottie right away.
“Oh, fuck you, Lottie,” Misty says, bitter and angry.
“I needed to know you were safe.”
Misty feels enraged by that statement. She moves her phone so she can stare at the screen, betrayed by Lottie’s words after everything going down like that.
“Haha, that’s rich.”
Misty doesn’t wait for the reply and simply ends the call. The doorbell rings right away and Misty feels like the universe is set on annoying her. Caligula screams. The doorbell rings again. Misty gets up and marches to the door.
Lottie stands there and it’s only the shock that keeps Misty from slamming the door on her face. It doesn’t matter the reason; Lottie takes that moment to push her way into Misty’s home and wrap her arms around Misty like she is a dear old friend who is going through it. Misty wishes Lottie would drop dead then and there.
“I knew you needed a friend. I could feel it,” Lottie says.
“A friend,” Misty says and laughs like Lottie just told her an awful joke.
Misty pushes Lottie away and steps back. Lottie takes that as permission to close the door. Misty glares at her but doesn’t kick her out right away.
“A friend does not set up a friend like that,” Misty says, visibly annoyed.
“Misty,” Lottie says, all softness.
“You knew it would…eat her!” Misty accuses her.
Lottie looks heartbroken as if Misty is making up things just to hurt her.
“Misty,” Lottie says again, moving her hands to touch Misty's face. Misty slaps her gentle hands away. “She was already gone, Misty.”
Misty stares at her, shocked by those words.
“She came back!”
Lottie pulls her hands back and shakes her head.
“It wasn’t really her, Misty.”
“Oh, but it was!” Misty says. “Nat came back.”
“Misty.”
Lottie takes a step forward and forces Misty into a hug despite the fact Misty tries to push her away.
“Nat is dead,” Lottie says, trying to soothe Misty into stop fighting the hug. Misty couldn’t breathe as she was held like that by Lottie. Her glasses are skewed.
“It would never let her fully go now. It chose her all that way back then, Misty,” Lottie goes on, rubbing Misty’s back. It’s suffocating. “And you knew it.”
“No…” Misty whispers.
“You knew it was Nat’s fate, Misty. And it had to be you to give her back to the Wilderness.”
Misty wants Lottie to stop talking.
“Shut up,” she says weakly.
“It’s okay,” Lottie says. “It’s over now.”
Misty wants to argue that nothing about this is okay. Misty wants to physically fight Lottie. She wants to scream at her.
“Nat is gone,” she points out.
“I know,” Lottie says and Misty feels defeated.
“I love her.”
“I know,” Lottie says again and moves just enough to press her palm against Misty’s chest and tell her: “Breathe with me.”
Misty is starting to feel a little crazy. She pushes Lottie’s hand away. She doesn’t want anything from Lottie right now. Lottie sighs softly.
“I will make us some tea. Perhaps, some food, too. Have you eaten yet?” she pauses and looks at Misty. The switch causes a little whiplash, and Misty doesn’t even have time to answer before Lottie goes on: “A warm breakfast will be nice.”
Misty is left there as Lottie takes her own coat off and moves into Misty’s kitchen to make food and tea. Misty doesn’t have enough fight left in her to protest, so she just follows into the kitchen and sits down while Lottie explores the cabinets and the fridge. She hums while she cooks and Misty is exhausted. The whole experience is draining and surreal. Misty rests her head on her own arms. Her glasses are still skewed.
“You said it owed me,” Misty said quietly, watching Lottie’s back as she makes scrambled eggs.
“I did,” she easily agrees.
“Nat wouldn’t lie to me like that,” Misty says, but it isn’t much of an argument.
“I’m not her.”
“Damn right.”
Lottie sets a place in front of Misty and moves away to get them some tea as well. She places the mug next to the plate and then sits down across from Misty with her own mug. The tea seems to be blueberry.
“Misty,” Lottie says, watching her. “Eat. Nat wouldn’t want you to waste away for her.”
Misty wants to argue, but Nat would be really mad at seeing her defeated like this. It’s irritating that Lottie is right. It’s even worse that the food is delicious. Misty refuses to thank Lottie for it, but Lottie smiles at her like she knows.
“I didn’t want to hurt you further,” Lottie says after allowing Misty some room to eat in silence. “I thought that small lie would allow you to have closure.”
Misty stares at her place for a second before setting the fork down on it.
“It needed you to fix your interference,” Lottie explains in a soft voice.
“It wanted me to kill her,” Misty says without sugarcoating it. It makes Lottie flinch. “You wanted me to kill her.”
“Yes.”
“Twice.”
Lottie doesn’t confirm it, and Misty looks up at her.
“Oh,” she says and laughs a little. Misty finally fixes her glasses. “That was just on you.”
“Nat was already dead.”
“Nat is dead! Because of me!”
“The Wilderness couldn’t reach her, Misty! And it had to be you to offer her back.”
“I didn’t offer her,” Misty counters, insulted by that reading of the situation. “I had her back with me. In some way and… that thing… that…”
A sob stops her. She pushes her glasses up and presses the heels of her hands to her eyes to keep the tears from falling.
“I love her so much. I didn’t even get a last kiss.”
Lottie gets up to pet Misty’s hair.
“And she loved you until her last moment.”
“I killed her,” Misty complains. “Twice.”
Lottie runs her fingers through Misty’s hair and shushes her softly.
“You had to,” she says and hearing that is not the comfort she thinks it is. But then she adds like a knife to Misty’s heart: “She knew it was coming. She forgave you long ago, Misty.”
And just like that, Misty cannot keep herself from crying this time around.