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Jimin is sick of feeling like this, feeling like he isn't good enough, or isn't special enough for Jungkook. He hates the way he get's so jealous when he gives his attention to others, or the way he ignores him without even realising it. Why does it all matter so much when Jungkook doesn't even belong to him? He likes Jungkook, so much, and he's so afraid that Jungkook is, slowly, getting tired of him. But whatever the reason is, Jimin started to not care anymore.
-
Jimin walks off stage in a terrible mood, he's never felt like this after a show. And he knows why. He knows exactly why he feel this way, and he hates it because he wishes he wasn't like this. It keeps replaying in his mind, the way Taehyung wrapped his arms around and clung onto Jungkook, the way Jungkook made sure he wouldn't fall, they both looked so happy.
Jimin walk backstage and grabbed a water bottle to take a sip out of it, "You were really good out there today", Namjoon approaches him and Jimin forces out a soft smile, "You too." Jimin then focuses his gaze to the side, where he could see Jungkook and Taehyung laughing at one of their phones, he guesses that they're already watching the vines of them.
-
Once they reach back to the dorms, Jungkook, for some weird reason, feels strangely alone. It's not like anyone has ignored him, or excluded him out, but he feels like something is wrong. The air around him feels cold and empty and it's not what he is normally use to. He can't figure out what it is, but he sits down on his bed and his mind wanders off.
Jimin doesn't say a word to Jungkook as they all enter through the door together, it's like he doesn't even realise that they haven't been talking. Everyone carries on with their normal banter and Jimin just can't get himself to join in, he feels drained, and he feels so upset with himself for letting him get this way. He watches as Jungkook walks off to his room, they are usually the ones that stay up until early hours of the morning together and now, Jimin feels like it will never happen again.
-
But then it hits Jungkook, it hits him like a tonne of bricks. He realises that he hasn't had a proper conversation with Jimin for weeks now, and he was suppose to be his bestfriend. Jungkook gets out of his bed, tip-toeing so he doesn't wake up Namjoon who is snoring anyway. He turns the corner to the living room, and Jimin is sitting on the couch, looking blank as ever.
When he notices Jungkook, he immediately shoots up from his spot, "I, uh, was just about to go to sleep." Jungkook has never felt this bad in his life, he walks closer to Jimin and pushes him back down, "No, you're going to sit and talk," Jimin doesn't look him in the eye, but instead looks somewhere else. "Have you been avoiding me Jimin?"
"Maybe," Jimin says, "Maybe I have. Maybe it's been happening for a long time and you haven't noticed, funny right?" Jungkook feels taken back, "Hyung..." He moves closer to Jimin, putting his hand on his shoulder trying to get him to face him. But Jimin doesn't budge, "Don't pretend like you care now." Jungkook feels hurt, he's always cared about Jimin, "Hyung, I do care, please look at me."
Jimin doesn't look at him, he can't, he would end up telling him the truth and tell him how much he likes him, and how much he misses him. "Just go to sleep, Jungkook, it didn't matter before so why does it matter now?"
Jungkook, for a moment, thinks about how his actions towards Jimin have been in the last few weeks. He hasn't been giving Jimin any attention, any attention that he deserves. "I want to fix this, please let me fix this Jimin, I miss you," Jimin closes his eyes, trying to hold himself back from letting out his tears. Jungkook grabs his face and holds it in his hands, bringing it close to his, "Look at me Jimin," Jimin then opens his eyes and looks straight into the eyes across from his, a tear finally escaping and rolling down his cheek.
Jungkook wipes his tear away with his thumb, "Please don't cry Jiminie." Jimin wishes he would just kiss him, that's something he needs, something he wants more than anything. But he won't, Jimin thinks he doesn't like him like he likes Jungkook, and he thinks he never will. He pushes Jungkook's hands away from his face, "Just, just leave me alone." His heart aches as he says it, he doesn't want him to go, he really doesn't.
Jungkook forces himself off of the couch, and leaves Jimin there, with tears filling up his eyes. He doesn't know what he can do anymore. The fact that Jimin doesn't want to open up to him like he use to, hurts him a lot. He blames nothing or no one but himself, Jimin is like this because of him, he ignored him for no reason and chose others to give him affection. But that's not what Jungkook wants, he only wants Jimin's love and affection, and he finally realises that.
-
Days pass, and Jimin still hasn't said a word to Jungkook. He doesn't want to. He thinks that Jungkook will never try to talk to him again since he pushed him away the other night. And now Jimin is blaming himself.
Jungkook wasn't able to sleep for a couple of nights, and everyone was starting to realise it. He would stay up all night, thinking about what Jimin said to him. 'Maybe it's been happening for a long time and you haven't noticed.' How could I be so fucking selfish, Jungkook thought to himself. He would do anything to be close to Jimin again, for him to open up to him and let him in.
-
Jungkook knew he had to do something, he couldn't just leave them both miserable like this. Jungkook chose a night when Taehyung wasn't home, so he could crawl into Jimin's bed and try to talk to him. He always use to do it to Jungkook, so now he wants to start doing the same.
Tears were crowding Jimin's eyes again and he didn't stop himself this time, Taehyung wasn't home so he wanted to cry in peace. All he could think about was Jungkook. His Jungkookie. He misses him more than ever and he wishes he told him everything that night on the couch. Jimin sniffles through his thoughts, until he hears his bedroom door creak open. He doesn't turn around to see who it is, but instead, closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep. Suddenly, he feels familiar arms sliding around his waist. Jungkook.
Jimin feels like crying even more now, he doesn't want him to know that he's this weak and that he gets him this way. "Hyung... Please don't tell me to leave," Jungkooks grip gets tighter around his bestfriend, and Jimin tries not to sniffle so he doesn't have to know that he's been crying, but that failed. Jimin decides to turn around, so that he can face him, oh how he's missed his face. Jungkook stares at him, "Have you been crying again? Fuck Jimin you need to stop you don't know how much it kills me seeing you like this." Jimin sniffles again, "Well I've been like this for weeks now, you should have known, I-I thought you would've known, you know me better than anyone."
Jungkook wipes one of his tears with his thumb again, "I know Jiminie, I know, whatever you say is right, I don't know what's happened to me and I never wanted to hurt you but I did. And I'm sorry, Hyung, I'm so sorry, I want you back in my life and I want your love and I want your affection. Only yours. Not Taehyung's or anyone elses. Yours." His words make Jimin want to grab his face and kiss him, he wishes he knew how he really felt, how much he really wanted to be with him.
"Jungkook I- um, I", Jungkook waits for him to say something, but the words aren't coming out. "Tell me Jimin, tell me everything you want to say, I'm here now and I'm never leaving." Jimin is now shivering at his words, so afraid of what he was about to say.
"I-I have feelings for you Jungkook. And I have for a while. You don't have to say anything, I just want you to know that that's the reason behind all of this-", he had so much more to tell him, but he cut Jimin off by pushing his lips onto his. Jimin felt a heap of relief fall off him, and it felt like nothing else mattered.
He moved his lips slowly against Jimin's, before pulling back. "I like you too, Hyung. I think I always have, but I never admitted it to myself. But I do, I really like you Jimin. I'm so sorry for everything." Jimin's heart felt like it was going to come out of his chest. He just wanted him to be his, and now he could be. Jimin moves in closer to Jungkook's lips and kisses them gently, making sure he knew he forgived him.