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Standing outside of Rosie’s Emporium, Alastor felt almost nervous. His relationship with Rosie was complicated to say the least, and his motivations for suggesting this outing had been twofold.
Most importantly, Rosie wanted to make his acquaintance. She had not shared her motivations, but Alastor wasn’t a fool. Ingratiating herself to Lucifer could only be beneficial in the long run, granting her a favorable position both with him and potentially other Overlords. That, and she was observant. Gathering valuable information was her specialty, and Lucifer was a terribly easy read. And, unfortunately, easy to steer. They would have to work on that.
More annoyingly, there was a part of him that truly did want the King to be introduced to the woman he has, at various points, considered… Not a friend, exactly, but something parallel to, albeit in a rather twisted way.
Alastor had convinced Lucifer that he and Rosie should meet, reminding him that it was the cannibals who played a part in their success against the Exorcists, after all, and therefore a thank you was warranted and would certainly be appreciated.
Which was true, all of her scheming aside.
And Alastor had a little plan of his own to enact during their visit.
Alastor wasn’t particularly keen on remaining in his contract. However, he didn’t actually want Lucifer to do anything about it—he wasn’t even sure if he could—but the Radio Demon still wished he could simply tell him.
Later, when everything was finally revealed, it would make things so much easier. Perhaps even a little less painful. Too bad Rosie made sure he kept his mouth shut.
Alastor honestly hadn’t considered finding a way to tell Lucifer about it—the thought had never even crossed his mind—but last night Angel Dust of all people had placed the idea in his head. It was ridiculous. He would most certainly look ridiculous, but he was willing to give it a shot. Lucifer had seen Alastor more or less throw a tantrum the previous week. Hell, he had seen him naked. What was one more embarrassing moment?
The previous evening everyone had been sitting around the bar, where he overheard Angel telling Husker a story about some woman he'd met at a club.
“An’ she was blinkin’ real weird, I thought there was somethin’ wrong with her eye, ya’ know? Bet that happens a lot when you’ve just got one big one? But then one of those studio guys we were with went over. I dunno what he said, but it got her away from the table.”
Angel had twirled his empty glass by the stem and handed it to Husker, a wordless request that the bartender had immediately fulfilled. “Turns out our guy was some like, military person or whatever when he was alive and knew morse code? And she was blinkin’ some word, hopin’ someone would understand she was askin’ for help.”
Ridiculous. Absolutely absurd. And yet…
He couldn’t outright say he had made a deal with Rosie or disclose any specifics, but perhaps there was a word or two that might, at the very least, convey something was amiss. He thought it may be easier for Lucifer to make the connection if they were around Rosie, so he couldn’t exactly speak either.
Alastor was familiar with morse. Lucifer was a bit of a fool, but he knew every language there ever was, so why wouldn’t that extend to things like code or non-verbal forms of communication? He’d just have to trust Lucifer to puzzle out the message. He just needed him to know he was trapped in a deal with her, nothing more.
He opened the door, gesturing for Lucifer to step inside. They were entering through the back of Rosie’s to avoid the horde of sinners that were inevitably hanging around. If it was simply him that was one thing, but the King of Hell? It was probably for the best that they kept a low profile for the time being.
Inside, he sends his shadow off to alert Rosie of their arrival and places a hand between Lucifer’s shoulder blades, guiding him towards her sitting room. Lucifer was wringing his hands together, clearly a bit unsure.
“Relax, darling. Rosie is quite charming! A bit enthusiastic at times, certainly, but she means well.” Ha! As if.
Lucifer chuckles nervously. “Well, it isn’t as if she knows we’re…you know.” He waves a hand between them. “Based on what you’ve said about her, you don’t think she’ll figure it out, do you?”
Alastor hummed thoughtfully as he took the seat across from Lucifer. “It’s certainly likely, but she also knows when to exercise discretion.”
Lucifer ran a hand down his face, groaning. Alastor knew he hated interacting with people, especially sinners, but the demon hoped a little bit of suffering would pay off in the long run. Feeling generous, Alastor sought to placate him.
“Perhaps after we can—”
He’s cut off as the whirlwind that is Rosie came sweeping into the room. They both stood, Rosie completely ignoring Alastor in favor of making a beeline for Lucifer.
“Your Highness! Why, what a pleasant surprise to have the King of Hell grace my humble establishment!” She reached for his hand, giving him a polite curtsy. “To what do I owe the pleasure? Alastor here only said you two would be coming!”
“Ah, well at least I gave you a heads up this time about the royal visit!” A shame, really. He enjoyed dramatically dropping in unannounced.
She throws a wink Lucifer’s way. “Perhaps spending time around the Morningstar’s is finally instilling some manners in him.”
Lucifer sees this moment as an opportunity to find his footing, laughing a little too loud and shaking his head. “I don’t know about that! He’s only being polite because of you, I’m sure. More of a nuisance to the hotel than anything else, believe me.”
“Ha! Don’t worry Your Majesty, I do.” She steps away towards the nearby shelving. “Would you like anything? I’ve got some pinky fingers—”
“No! Nope. I’m good. Nooo thanks. But uh… thanks?” He awkwardly waved his hands, looking mildly perturbed.
She shrugs and instead collects a few pieces of china and a pot. “Tea, then? Sinner free, I assure you!”
He suspected it is only out of politeness that Lucifer accepts a cup, considering how suspiciously he stared at it. Alastor chuckles and takes his own. “Thank you, my dear!” He steps aside to offer her the chair, and moves to stand beside it, one elbow resting on the top.
“Of course, of course! Now,” she sits and leans forward towards Lucifer, grinning. “So! Tell me what you’re here for! I’m sure you’re very busy, what with Hell and the hotel.”
To help things along, Alastor snorts and rolls his eyes, causing Lucifer to look over and glare.
“Yes! Things are rather busy at the moment, but it seemed necessary to thank you as you helped my daughter… Charlie is very grateful, you know. And so am I! They would have struggled far more if not for the aid of your, uh, cannibals.”
Rosie waves a hand dismissively. “Oh, don’t mention it, we were happy to help! Your daughter is such a delight, got some real moxie, I like that about her!”
Lucifer’s face lights up at the compliment and leans forward a bit, enthusiastically agreeing with her.
“Isn’t she though?”
Alastor is relieved to witness Lucifer incrementally relax. Rosie was easy to talk to, and he could be very chatty, knowing enough about pretty much everything. For better or worse, he always had something to contribute to a conversation.
While they talked, Alastor made sure to interject with some snarky comments so as to not arouse suspicion as he considered his next move. He needed to stick with just one or two words at a time; it could get a bit complicated the longer the phrase, so he elected to keep it simple. Alastor could only hope Lucifer would understand.
“So, your majesty, what’s next for Charlie and her hotel?”
Lucifer gave her a pained smile. “Well, uh, she’s certainly carrying on! She might have… she will probably…” He trails off, looking to Alastor for help. Perfect.
“At the moment we have a bit of damage control to do. I’m sure you have seen that fiasco Vox’s little rally inspired?” Alastor supplied. “As for everything else? We have been sworn to secrecy on the matter, I’m afraid!”
Fuck. He really should have thought about this more beforehand.
Scrambling for a word, he goes with the first one that pops into his head.
-.-. .- --. .
CAGE
Rosie hums thoughtfully. “Well, should you ever need assistance with killing more angels, please, send her my way! The rest of the cannibals found the payoff worth the risk. And they all like Charlie, even Susan!”
“Susan?” Alastor raises an eyebrow, genuinely surprised. “You must be joking.”
Lucifer frowns. “Susan?”
In sync, both Alastor and Rosie repeat: “Susan.”
“She can be rather… difficult.”
“She’s an ornery old bitch.”
--- .-- .
OWE
“Well, if she helped Charlie she can’t be that bad…”
“Sire, may I point out that I regularly assist Charlie with her fruitless endeavour, and you have made it very clear that I am, in fact, that bad.”
-... --- ..- -. -..
BOUND
“Fruitless? We both know the snake guy was redeemed.”
This one was risky, but fuck it.
-.. . -... -
DEBT
Lucifer narrows his eyes, finally noticing that something was off.
“I am not sure why you are looking to me. Personally I have never cared much for the endeavor. I am merely there for the entertainment!”
-... ..- -.--
BUY
Buy? What a waste of a word.
“No shit. You literally go out of your way to remind us all every single fucking day.” Lucifer frowns this time. “Alastor—”
“I think we should let this be for now!” He cuts him off and looks down towards Rosie. “We certainly do have some news for the denizens of Hell, but for now I think it’s best if we keep things quiet. I would hate to ruin the fun of discovery, you know!”
He looks up sharply to meet Lucifer’s gaze, smile tightening. “Don’t you agree, sire?”
He fixes Lucifer with a firm glare. Perhaps if he could indicate that things should remain a secret for now, he would get the idea that she was not to be trusted.
Lucifer snorts. “Sure. I guess we can agree on one thing for once. And are you alright? You keep—”
“Apologies, there seems to be something wrong…” He removes the monocle, using his power to subtly crack the glass ever so slightly. Lucifer could fix it for him later. He holds it up and pretends to examine it before letting out a long suffering sigh. “The glass is broken and it has been rather irritating. Perhaps it’s best to remove it for now.”
Alastor’s smile thins. Writing this endeavour off to be as pointless as the hotel, he blinks out one last word in frustration.
-... .. - -.-. ....
BITCH
Lucifer, at the very least, had the sense not to comment as he slid the monocle into his pocket. Ah well. It had been worth a shot.
The rest of their visit was short but relatively pleasant, and it was incredibly entertaining to watch Lucifer squirm a bit when offered another finger and different flavor palettes explained to him.
He stared thoughtfully. He wondered if someday he might be able to convince Lucifer to try one. If their relationship progressed, it very well might be doable.
They said their goodbye’s, Rosie giving him a look that he knew meant they would be having a conversation later about the information they decided to withhold. Then Lucifer summoned a portal, and the two of them stepped through.
“So what was going on back there?” Lucifer nudged him lightly with his shoulder once the portal closed and they exited into the hall of their floor.
“It doesn’t matter!” he says jovially. He winces at how forced it sounds.
“...Al, I’m getting the distinct feeling that isn’t exactly true.”
“Oh so now you choose to be observant! That would have been far more useful earlier, but alas I am afraid it is too late.” Alastor tries not to sound bitter, but he hears it creeping into his voice regardless. He was annoyed. He shouldn’t feel this way, but how could he not when Lucifer, the devil, who knows literally every language, not fucking understand morse code?
Alastor closes his eyes for a brief moment to collect himself. He was the Radio Demon, and he did not throw fits over such minor hang ups. It’s not as if he’d had a plan for after, or had even planned to tell him in the first place.
Lucifer was giving him an odd look, probably having clocked the tone in Alastor’s voice for what it was.
Slapping on the brightest smile he could manage, Alastor condescendingly pats him on the top of his head, mussing his perfectly combed hair. “Do not worry about it, sire! I promise you it wasn’t anything particularly important, just a silly passing thought I had!” He turns away to head back to his radio tower. He needed some time alone to think, to move beyond these petty feelings.
“Uh, where are you going? I was hoping we could eat an actual lunch together? No offence, but the whole cannibalism thing isn’t something I can stomach.”
Alastor pauses briefly, turning potential lies over in his head. He settles on a half-truth.
“Charlie has requested that I start doing a weekly broadcast! Tonight shall be the first one, but I feel there are some changes to the programming that need to be made. But by all means, do enjoy your lunch.”
He continues on, raising and waiving a hand in farewell before opening his door and disappearing from Lucifer’s view.
He most certainly wasn’t disappointed! Not at all.