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On a Thursday night, Income Tax Return Document was in his room with Snare Drum as the two of them were watching some dumb TV shows. Snare ate some fruits and crackers she prepared on a small platter while Doc occasionally stole some. When the clock struck 9:00, Snare turned off the television.
“And now,” she said, “I’ll be heading off to my room.” Before she left though, an idea popped into her mind. “Hey! You said you were free tomorrow, right?” She wasn’t wrong. Yes, Income Tax was free tomorrow, but he also doesn’t have plans every other day. Well, he does hang out with his love interest PDA, but it’s usually just, what? Making fun of people? Actually, it is fun; it’s just that it’s mostly PDA who initiates it. So he really had no reason to say no to Snare Drum’s question.
“Yeah,” he replied, “it’s just another boring day for me.”
“There is a football game tomorrow at my school. During halftime, me and the marching band will perform. You should come see it!”
This surprised Doc. He wasn’t a huge football fan, but if one of the slightly more tolerable guests in this hotel is inviting him to an event, then how could he refuse?
“You want me to see your game?” He asked.
“Yes!” She replied. “Come see the game at West Yoyle University and spectate the Ravens! It’ll be very fun!”
“Hmm… if you put it that way! Then alright, I’ll come.”
“Alright! See you tomorrow night!”
“See ya!”
As Snare Drum left his room, he just sat on his couch and stared at his wall. It was back to being boring. That was, until his romantic partner sent him a text.
[Yo! We should hang out tomorrow.]
[That’s nice PDA, but what time?]
[Uh… You pick because I don’t know.]
[Hm, I don’t know either. How about in the morning?]
[Aight. That’s chill with me.]
[Alright!]
Income Tax Return Document turned off his phone, and prepared himself to go to bed because he was actually one of the few people in the hotel that doesn’t wait until midnight to sleep.
——
The next morning, Tax Document and PDA were sitting at a table on the second floor of the hotel. Tax was just staring at the window while PDA whistled and played with their fingers. They were both bored.
“Ok.” said PDA. “We really need to find something to do today.”
“Well,” Doc replied, “you were the one who planned for us to hang out!”
“WELL! You were the one who wanted to hang out in the morning!”
“You told me to pick a time.”
“I thought you had an idea planned.”
“I thought YOU had an idea planned!”
“I DIDN’T! I just wanted to see your face!”
“You see my face every day you clingy bitch!”
“BITCH YOU ARE WAY MORE CLINGY THAN ME!”
Instead of saying another argument, Income Tax suddenly got reminded of the football game that Snare Drum talked about. It was tonight. Maybe he could take them there? Besides, he promised Snare Drum that he would come. But as much as he wanted to see the game, he wasn’t quite sure how to tell PDA about it, due to them being very judgy. If Tax told PDA about Snare Drum being there, they would laugh and talk shit about her like saying “what could that fragile, pathetic crybaby do?” Tax definitely preferred PDA over all the other hotel guests, including Snare Drum, but he still didn’t want them to hurt her feelings. Because of that, he tried to be careful with his words.
“Wait! Hold on PDA. I actually have a good idea on what we can do today.”
PDA, who has their interest piqued, said “Alright, spill the beans.”
“Well…” he started. “There’s this football game tonight! Not really at a professional stadium, but at this university!”
PDA raised their eyebrows. Then they asked “A university? Really Doc? What could be special about a university football team?”
“It’s actually a quite prestigious university! And a very good football team too! You know… West Yoyle University? It’s only 2 hours and 20 minutes away from the hotel!”
“And Central Goiky University is an hour and a half away from here. So why not go to that one?”
“Number one, WYU has a bunch of stupid stuff to take. And number two… ” He paused. “I have a talented, rich, and famous friend who is gonna be playing in the stadium! But not as talented, rich, and famous as you. So once I get you to meet them, I get to boast about how awesome of a partner you are.”
The second part was mostly a lie. Snare was talented and… sorta rich (actually just wealthy, that’s all), but not in the way he made PDA think. And she was certainly not famous. Luckily, the lie worked.
“You had me at stupid stuff to take.” They smirked. “And… I’m not sure if this friend is as talented, rich, and famous as me, but we’ll see once I meet them!”
“Great! I want us to get ready by 4:30!”
“Aight! Better impress me with your football knowledge.”
“Actually, I don’t know a lot about-”
After that, PDA stood up and left. What Doc thought would give him more relief, gave him more stress.
“THEY EXPECT ME TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT FOOTBALL?!” He screamed to himself.
Despite that, he quickly recollected himself and calmed down. He didn’t want to disappoint his friend or his partner, so he grabbed his phone, a pencil, and a mini notepad that he had (for some reason) from wherever his pockets were, and then began his research on football. More specifically, how West Yoyle Ravens do football.
——
It was 6:30pm. The West Yoyle Marching Band was hanging out at the side of the football field, about 10 minutes away from performing pregame. One of the people there was none other than Snare Drum. Her fit was different than usual: she wore a white cap that matched the other band members, as well as a pair of black marching shoes on her feet and a dark purple cape tied to her back. She also had a pair of prosthetic arms attached to her, which not many people in the hotel know she has; mostly because she has no need for them outside of playing music. The gauntlets covering her wrists were the same color as her cap and the rest of the details just matched overall with not just her outfit, but with the rest of the band. However, her expression wasn’t as happy as the others.
“Hey captain!”
“Huh?”
When Snare looked up, it was one of the other drums approaching her as she was standing around, looking at her phone. The beige bass drum had an excited smile on his face.
“Are you ready for this game?” He asked.
“Well yeah!” She smiled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“That’s great! But I saw you frowning at your phone. Is something wrong, captain?”
When the bass drum said that, Snare Drum looked up to the bleachers to see her friend. No sign of Income Tax Return Document.
“It’s fine,” she said, “but my friend said he would come to the game. He’s not here right now.”
The beige drum nodded. He knew that she was the section leader that doesn’t get bummed easily, so seeing her like that kinda bummed him too. But after that moment, Snare buries her frown and returns to the typical section leader smile she gives all the percussionists.
“No worries though!” Said Snare, “I’m fairly certain he’s running late. He may take a while to arrive!” She walked to the rest of the drumline to talk with them. “Come on Bass Drum, let’s meet with the rest of our section! The sooner we round them up, the better!”
Bass Drum smiled and followed his section leader. While just a freshman, he found it easy to help get the rest of percussion set by their supposed time. Being 2 years younger than Snare Drum, she wished for him to become a section leader as well.
——
A few minutes later, Income Tax and PDA finally reached the bleachers. They just missed the pregame. Tired from running, they sat down. Tax gave PDA a frustrated look.
“You dumbass!” He exclaimed, “you were supposed to get ready BY 4:30! Not AT 4:30!”
“Hey,” they said, “be grateful I actually get ready very quickly! Unlike someone else who has to smooth out himself every time he steps foot out the hotel doors!
Tax sighed and turned his vision to the field with all the football players. All those stupid jocks. As much as he found football jocks to be very annoying, he was also a bit jealous of how talented they were. Unlike boring old doc.
PDA, who was on Doc’s right, also looked at the field. Nothing special, they thought to themself. Then they shifted their eyes to the cheerleaders and dancers. Nothing special either; probably even less. They were about to doze off to sleep until they suddenly heard music playing all the way from the left side of the bleachers.
“What the- AM I HEARING THINGS OR WHAT?!”
“If it’s the music then you’re definitely not the only one hearing it, PDA!”
“Who the fuck is playing that?!”
Both turned their attention to the band. All the woodwinds and brass were blasting and blaring like they were about to kill off everyone’s hearing.
“CAN THEY TURN THAT SHIT OFF?!” PDA screamed.
“IF YOU’RE GONNA SWEAR COULD YOU AT LEAST SAY THEM QUIETER?!” Tax replied.
“My bad.” PDA backed down.
“You’re good.” Tax reassured.
“…Oh hey. They actually stopped playing.”
“Well, most of them…”
——
On the other side of the field, the drum majors signaled the band to stop playing. Eventually the whole band stopped. Eventually and not suddenly because 9 times out of 10, there is always one person that doesn’t watch the drum majors. In this case, it was a trumpet.
“Aw come on,” said the trumpet, “you guys cut out the best part!”
“I don’t care, Trumpet!” Yelled the baton, who happened to be one of the drum majors. “WATCH!”
And so, the band just continued to do their usual business. Some were chatting, others went on their phones, and only a select few were actually watching the football game.
——
At first, the football game seemed nothing like a joke. But as the game progressed, PDA was actually more invested than they thought they would be. Who knew a bunch of people with chunky helmets running at each other could be interesting entertainment? Tax, who was on PDA’s left, looked at them and smiled. Even though he isn’t a huge fan of football, despite what he claimed, at least his partner was enjoying it. Currently, the home team is winning 8-2.
“Damn those guys suck!” Said PDA. “You were right Doc, West Yoyle solos Sealake!”
“Well, this is only the first quarter. I’m confident that they’ll win against the Sealake sharks, but we can’t assume that the opponent team sucks.”
“Well I bet they do. Besides, you said WYU had a good team?”
“Yeah! A long winning streak of 6 games in a row! I know it doesn’t seem a lot, but most of the other universities get 4 as their highest streak. So they are, in fact, a good team!”
“Especially the person you wanted to see?”
“Eh… yeah! You don’t see them on the field too much but yeah.”
For the whole quarter, there wasn’t a lot going on. Just the players running around the field while cheer, dance, and band do their thing. PDA and Tax just watched it all go down, with the former asking the latter some occasional questions. And while PDA was excited to see the game unfold, Tax was getting bored. He just wanted to watch the end of the second quarter.
Eventually, time made its way to the second quarter. The ravens continued to win: 36-22. It was almost ready for halftime. However, when Tax was prepared to see the marching band perform with PDA, they stood up.
“Well, guess I’ll be getting snacks!”
“Wait!” Doc exclaimed. “You don’t want to see the halftime performance?”
“Eh… maybe. But I’ll be quick! Just getting some nachos for us!”
“Perhaps in a few minutes? I’m not hungry right now.”
“Alright. But I want some, so I’ll be heading out. You stay here and do whatever, okay babe?” They kissed him on his left cheek and left.
“I- okay…”
After that, Income Tax just sat there. With his right arm to his cheek and left arm on his knees, he looked at everyone on the field solemnly. He watched cheer and dance perform, waiting for the band’s turn. Even after 5 minutes, PDA still did not return.
——
During the dancers’ performance, Snare Drum looked through the bleachers to find where Tax was sitting. She was excited to perform, but even more excited to see someone she knows from the hotel here. However, her expression fell as she noticed how bummed he looked. Is he not enjoying the show? Did something bad happen to him?
She looked at the rest of the band. Some were having random side conversations, others just observed their surroundings out of boredom. Because of this, she tries her best to hide her sadness. Besides, the dance team had already finished. When the drum majors blew their whistle, everyone began to focus. Now it’s time to march. She looked up one last time. Tax smiled, but it was very faint. But at least he looked somewhat happy. Snare was glad about that.
——
PDA was making a commotion with one of the people running the concession stand, which led to the customers behind them getting upset.
“Aren’t you a robot?” Asked the person behind the stand. “Wouldn’t nachos hurt your circuits?”
“Bitch, it’s for me and my boyfriend.” Replied PDA. “DO YOU WANT MY FUCKING MONEY OR NOT?!”
“AHHH! I’M SORRY!” The person screamed. “JUST PLEASE PAY UP WITH CASH OR CREDIT!”
“YEAH! Yeah you better be sorry!” PDA scanned their screen on the card scanner, which got accepted. “People like you need to know how to be polite!”
The entire line behind them booed as they were heading back to the bleachers.
“Oh come on, I didn’t take that long; it was just three minutes! Learn some damn patience!”
As PDA made their way back to the bleachers, they stopped occasionally to steal some stuff. What stuff did they steal? That’s forever a mystery. On the bleachers, they notice an entire section gone missing. Is that supposed to be the band? It seemed so, since they were on the field right now, playing one of their songs. While they did see the way the move to be a bit silly, they couldn’t help but admit the music was somewhat decent. But eventually, they made their way to their boyfriend, who seemed invested in the performance.
“Yo Doc!” PDA yelled. “I came back and-”
“Shh!” Tax replied.
“Oops,” they whispered, “my bad…”
They sat on Doc’s right and stared at the field.
“Is this their first song?” They asked.
“Second.”
“Yeah, sorry I took too long. That stupid line took an eternity. And the cashier was a wuss too.”
“It’s fine,” Tax smiled, “I’m just glad you’re seeing this now.”
“Yeah, but what about that football player? Didn’t you say you wanted me to meet them?” This response led to Tax Document being confused.
“I never said they were a football player.” Now it was PDA’s turn to get confused.
“What do you mean?”
“I just said they were rich, talented, and famous.”
“But… Do you want me to meet them now?”
“Eventually. She’ll be here once this halftime performance is done. You can talk to her during the third quarter.”
“Well then, I’ll be waiting right here for her.”
The two of them continued to watch the halftime. The band was on their fourth and final song.
After halftime, it was the third quarter. In this quarter, band, cheer, and dance all get a break where they could chat, go on their phones, or eat food from the concessions. Snare Drum took off her uniform, with the exception of her shoes and her fake arms. Soon after, one of the tenors came up to her.
“Yo Snare!” They said, “You wanna come with us to the food truck?” Tenor, while a plural system of four, was also referring to Marimba, Xylophone, and Bass Drum. Snare smiled, but shook her head.
“I have to meet with a friend.” She replied, “But do buy me some Gatorade! Any flavor that isn’t red will do!” Tenor nodded as left with the other instruments. After that, Snare Drum excitedly ran to the other side of the bleachers.
To where PDA and Income Tax Return Document were, they just sat there, finishing up their nachos.
“Yeah, I felt like the low brass part was kinda goofy.” Said PDA. “I don’t think one of them falling down was part of the performance.”
“I think they all had a charm to them!” Said Doc.
“Why?” PDA smirked, “do you wanna be a band kid?”
“Nah, I’m not cut out for it. Too much work.”
“Ha! Imagine not being an athlete!”
“Well PDA, you were clearly invested in the football game! Do you wanna be a football player?”
“Nah, I’m already good at bowling and fencing. Besides, they’re all built like a bunch of LOSERS!” Both of them laughed at that statement until they saw a familiar face running down to where they were.
“Tax!” Snare yelled excitedly.
“Snare!” Tax also yelled excitedly.
Both of them hugged, and Snare Drum sat on Tax's left.
“I’m so happy you came!” She said, “Did you enjoy the show?”
“It was wonderful!” He replied.
“Oh no. Not you!” PDA stood up, “Get the fuck out of here!”
“Wait!” Doc exclaimed, “Let me explain f-”
“Listen kid!”
“I’m 20.” Snare muttered in frustration.
“We don’t want your bitchass third wheeling our date. We only came here to see a game. Not say hi to a crybaby like you.”
“PDA I SWEAR! If you just listen-”
“Why?! She’s the type of person to jump in someone else’s leaf pile! Or play Pokemon Go during a wedding ceremony! Fuck, even she acknowledges the fact she’s a kid!”
Snare, who was wearing her arms right now, was ready to punch through PDA’s face. However, she resisted and calmed down.
“Why did you invite them…” she whispered.
“IF BOTH OF YOU FUCKING LISTEN-” Tax paused, “I mean, look. Snare, I know PDA isn’t the most well liked person in the hotel, but they are my partner and I wanted to hang out with them. Also, they requested to do something today, so I just planned on this.”
Snare silently nodded. Then, he turned towards his partner.
“And honey, if I told you someone from the hotel was also gonna be here, you would be complaining and berating them. And… you did just that.”
PDA rolled their eyes. “Well damn. If you really wanted to cheat on me then there was no need for setting up a myth of an actually cool person.” To that, Tax and Snare stared at them, absolutely baffled. There was a short amount of silence before they yelled.
“WHAT?!” They both said at the same time.
“No!” Snare replied, “we do not like each other like that!” Suddenly, her voice got a little bit more quiet. “He’s… more like a brother to me.”
“PDA, my love…” Tax stood up and held their hand, “I would never cheat on you. No matter how mean and cruel you can be, I don’t want to leave your side. You’re really special to me.”
While PDA blushed at that statement, they shook their head in disbelief.
“It’s still odd though. Why are you, of all people, so close to her? I didn’t think you guys of all people would bond.”
“I mean, neither of us think about it either.” Snare answered, “but I came to terms with the fact that he’s less of an attention seeker and more of a guy who just wants to get through life.” She paused for a short second when the Tenor Drums handed her a blue Gatorade. She said “thanks” and then took a sip before continuing. “And yes, he can be boring, but I do admire his simple living at times.”
“Yeah,” said Tax, “I thought Snare Drum was just really annoying, but she’s actually one of the few people who has an actual life outside of the hotel, which I admire as well.”
“Ok but, how and when did this happen?” Asked PDA.
“Um…We don’t really know either.” Snare said.
“It’s hard to explain,” said Tax, “other than the fact that she just… happened to be like a little sister to me.”
“Whatever. Let’s just go back to watching the game. Do you have any idea what they’re doing now, Snare Drum?”
“Not at all. I never know what’s happening in these games.”
“Huh?” Tax and PDA said confused, to which Snare giggled.
“I don’t care about any of this,” she said as she waved towards the field, “I just like playing music with my friends.”
“Aight, then babe, tell me what those bozos are doing in the field right now.”
“Uh… I think the tackler has the ball now? Or is that the linebacker?” All three of them laughed at their novice knowledge about Goiky’s most popular sport.
“Wait hold up! You only came here to see your pseudo sister play music for 10 minutes?”
“Not just 10 minutes!” He objected. “The band occasionally plays tunes on the sidelines as well.”
“Damn…”
“Sorry honey… we can go back home right now if you’d like.”
“And stop watching these idiots running around the field with a pointy ball? FUCK NO! This shit is hot garbage! But I can’t stop watching it.”
Tax smiled at his partner being happy. Snare was just glad PDA wasn’t being a hater. However, she looked at the board. 2 minutes left before the third quarter ends.
“I have to go,” she said as she stood up, “see you guys tomorrow!”
“Bye Snare!” Doc said gleefully.
“Now wait a damn moment!” They way PDA yelled that made her freeze. That was until they approached her, smiling. “Your performance didn’t suck. Wanna ride home with me and Doc?” Realizing the fact that PDA didn’t want to harass her made Snare Drum relax.
“That’s nice and all,” she replied, “but I drove here so I kinda need to drive back.”
“Ah, I see. Next game? Assuming you have another one coming?”
“Sure! As long as Doc is driving.”
“Oh yeah,” they chuckled, “you’d rather have your pseudo brother driving, huh?”
“Actually, it’s more of the fact I don’t trust you driving.”
“WOW.” While PDA was heartbroken (and offended) by that statement, Tax and Snare just laughed. Eventually, Snare Drum left as she returned to her musician peers. Then it was back to being the couple sitting down on the bleachers.
“Yeah no, I still don’t like her.” PDA shrugged. “But if you do truly care for her then I won’t be openly judging her anymore.”
“I’m glad, honey.” Said Doc softly. After that, he kissed them on the cheek and they both looked at the football game. Absolutely clueless, but still enjoying it.