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“I already knew that you’re the stupid one between the two of us, but I didn’t know that you are this stupid.”
“What the fuck, Samu?” said Atsumu dumbfounded, “what did I do?”
Osamu who was cutting up spring onions for their dinner in their shared apartment stilled and turned his body to look at Atsumu who was sitting on the tiny couch watching V-league match rerun on his phone. Atsumu looked up because he felt the piercing stare from his twin and put his phone down on the coffee table.
“What the fuck did I do this time, Samu? Grace me with your holy opinion about me, won’t ya?”
“I heard from Suna that you tell your ex-girlfriend the reason you asked for a break up was because you realized that you are not attracted to girls.” Osamu said gritting his teeth and pointing the knife he was holding at Atsumu with each of his words.
“Ah, that...”
“’Ah, that’?? What the hell, Tsumu? Why did you tell her that? Why didn’t you just tell her the real reason? You didn’t need to lie like that!” Osamu raised his voice, exasperated.
“So you expect me to just tell her that I received an anonymous email with pictures of her kissing and—I don’t know—being intimate with some other guys?” said Atsumu with a voice louder than his twin. He couldn’t believe that Osamu, out of all people, asked and judged him for the decision he already carefully thought of.
“Of course! How else?”
“You know why I couldn’t do that, Samu,” Atsumu said with a voice softer than a whisper, “you know exactly why.”
Osamu flinched listening to Atsumu’s voice that’s heavy and scratchy with grieve. Osamu almost forgot about the very thing that altered their and Ma’s life. He thought Atsumu, who was the carefree and bright one of them two, wouldn’t carry that memory and hurt in his heart for these past 12 years. But they were twin, after all.
Osamu turned on his feet and began cutting up the spring onion he abandoned. The sound of knife meeting with cutting board filled their small apartment that was almost too small for two huge men like them, but they had to make do with it because the apartment was just a walking distance from their college so they can save some money.
They let their silence filled the room. Both of them—sharing one and a half brain cells between them—thought the same. Not only because they were twin, but also because they shared a lot of memories together, full of smiles and also hurt. And the last memory of their father was full of the latter. The deep wounds in their hearts still bleeding for the past 12 years since the day they witnessed their father laying hands on their Ma after their Ma confronted him about his adultery.
Sharing one and a half brain cells between them also meant that both of them never brought up about that day and about their father, fearing that it’d remind the other with unnecessary hurt. Both of them loved each other too much to inflict such unnecessary hurt.
Atsumu stood up from the couch after a few moments gathering his thought and approached Osamu. Atsumu stopped just a shy few steps from where Osamu stood. He grabbed a kitchen towel and began wiping non-existent spots from the counter as if Osamu would have let his shrine any less than spotless.
“She outed you to a few people, Tsumu. I think the news has already spread all over your department. I don’t want you to go through that, ever.” Osamu said softly. Still fresh in his heart the wound that was inflicted by people who judged him when he went public with his relationship with Suna. He knew first hand how cruel people were and by God Osamu wouldn’t let his half part of his life went through the same thing.
“It’s fine, ya brat. It’s not exactly a lie.”
“I know, but you haven’t exactly been attracted to men since Kita-senpai.”
“Left his name off of your dirty mouth!” exclaimed Atsumu with half a laugh in his voice.
Those days of his high school years when Atsumu was blessed with the presence of Kita was days when he realized that it’s possible for him to also like men. That it’s possible for him to daydream about kissing someone with possible facial hair like him. Even though after his one-sided crush with Kita, he hadn’t felt that way towards any men at all.
“You’re so ridiculous, Tsumu.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
Osamu flicked some water towards Atsumu from the pot he filled for their soup. Atsumu barked his loud laugh and swatted Osamu leg with the kitchen towel.
“I think you should do something so that she doesn’t have an upper hand at you, Tsumu. I hate that girl so much, I wondered why you even liked her in the first place, though. Ugh, you sure do have a questionable taste.”
“Said the person who’s dating a freaking Suna.”
“Stop mocking my man or I won’t cook for you for 3 months.” Atsumu raised his hands at the so very scary threat. It’s not exactly his fault that stoves hated his presence they combusted every time he’s near.
“Should I just kiss a hot guy in front of her and the whole department so they just shut up?” Atsumu joked not expecting Osamu to look at him and give him a thumb up.
“I thought you’re stupid, but you actually have a brain inside your big head.”
“What the fuck, I’m just joking?!”
“But that’s a great idea, though! Just show them exactly what they’re gossiping about and the gossip will die down, eventually... Right?” Osamu voice trailed off with small uncertainty but when he practically heard his twin’s brain turning inside his head pondering about the kinda ridiculous idea, he felt the need to be voice of reason for Atsumu.
“But which guy at school who’s hot enough for me to kiss, though? You realize that no one’s hotter than this twin of yours, right?” Atsumu brushed his yellow hair back with his fingers adorning a smirk on his lips which infuriated Osamu.
“More than half of the school are hotter than you.”
“You need to get your eyes checked, Samu.”
“Then you need to get yours checked, too, brat. But seriously,” said Osamu suddenly, “I think Suna can help you with that. He knows a lot of people in the whole campus so some of them bound to be hot, right? Let me give him a call.”
Suna indeed knew a lot of people on campus. After listening to Osamu explaining their ridiculous idea to Suna for 5 minutes and grossly flirting for another 10, Atsumu received a few screenshots of Instagram profiles whom Suna thought might not mind being kissed in public by Atsumu. From the list, some were pretty hot, a few were average, but only one made Atsumu stare.
Sakusa K.
The pictures on Sakusa’s profile were mostly of his back view working on sculptures wearing stained allover, a few of them were of Sakusa in different kinds of nature but wearing the same wind breaker—black with neon green hoodie string—with almost identical bored face. The one picture of Sakusa that made Atsumu stopped and stared for 20 seconds too long was a simple picture of him sitting in a dimly lit cafe that somehow made his black curly hair even glossier than the other pictures. From that picture, Atsumu also made notes of two small dots on Sakusa’s forehead and made him wonder if Sakusa had more constellations other than those.
Atsumu later spent hours on his bed scrolling through Sakusa’s profile and made a mental list of things he knew about Sakusa:
- The K in Sakusa K is Kiyoomi (What a cute name, Atsumu thought)
- Sakusa was a senior year fine art major who mostly working on abstract stone and wood sculptures, with occasional oil paintings. (Atsumu thought his artworks were amazing and mesmerizing)
- Sakusa seemed to enjoy time in nature, except beach. (Atsumu thought that it was a pity because he liked beach the most)
- There is no other person in Sakusa’s pictures, but all pictures of him were taken by someone else. (Does he already have someone? Atsumu wondered)
- By the fact that Suna put him on the list, Atsumu believed that Sakusa was open with his preference.
- Sakusa’s curly black hair was so glossy and gorgeous. (Atsumu wondered how Sakusa’s hair would feel between his fingers)
The other few hours he supposed to be asleep, Atsumu spent with thinking of the possible ways that would resulted in Sakusa kissing him in public. Some of his plans might resulted in either Sakusa punching him on the face or Atsumu making a complete fool out of himself in public. But, the first thing he had to do in every plan he thought of was introducing himself to Sakusa. After that, he just had to perform his certified flirting skill. Not a big problem, Atsumu thought.
What Atsumu couldn’t predict was that Sakusa was a fucking. Rude. Motherfucker.
"We don’t allow outsider in this area. Please leave.”T
hat was the first sentence Atsumu ever heard from Sakusa’s mouth and he’d be lying if he said that Sakusa’s tone didn’t irk him deeply. Yes, Atsumu knew that he shouldn’t wander around the art school building alone. He should have waited outside for Suna who was still in a meeting with his visual design professor. Suna said he would escort Atsumu around the school to naturally make a meet cute with Sakusa. But Atsumu’s nosy ass couldn’t just let himself stood still so he walked around and ended up in the studio area which apparently was as secretive as Area51.
Atsumu had to gather himself before he was spiraling down in a daze seeing Sakusa in his black overall which was covered with gray dust wiping his hands with a handkerchief before folding it neatly and putting it inside his pocket. His hair is a few tones darker than his clothes and looked as glossy and soft as in the picture, Atsumu thought. Atsumu made effort to swallow the non-existent saliva inside his mouth before responding to Sakusa.
“Did you just assume that I’m an outsider?”
“I know I’m not assuming. I know for a fact that you’re not a student in this school. Please leave.”
“I am a student here.” not exactly in this school, though, Atsumu added inside his head.
“No, you’re not.” Sakusa walked a step towards Atsumu. Atsumu didn’t need to look up to look at Sakusa’s very-very-dark eyes, but he couldn’t resist glancing up at the two dots above Sakusa’s right eyebrow. Atsumu felt his breath hitched a little bit and he had to take a step back to ground himself. Atsumu folded his arms in front of his torso under the scrutinizing gaze of Sakusa.
“Why are you so sure about that?”
Sakusa flicked his chin towards Atsumu’s hair, “No one in this school would dare walking around with blond hair as embarassing as yours. Did you at least get a refund for your botched hair?”
Before Atsumu could greet Sakusa’s mouth with his fist, he heard Suna’s voice calling his name from afar. You’re lucky that today is not the day you meet your God, Kiyoomi-kun, Atsumu thought.
“Oh hey, Sakusa-kun! I see that you’ve already met my friend. He wanted a tour to our school but I was being held up by Suzuki-sensei. You know, final project and stuff. How’s yours going, by the way?”
“I was doing great but then my work flow was being interrupted by your friend here. Please make sure they are not wandering around the restricted areas next time you have guest.” Sakusa said while walking past Atsumu and Suna towards one of the closed studios.
“So, will I see you at the non-restricted areas, Sakusa-kun?” Atsumu asked with a little sneer in his voice. Sakusa stopped on his path and glanced at Atsumu through the corner of his eyes.
“No if you’re lucky.”
The few weeks after the first encounter were full of humbling moments for Atsumu. He was indeed lucky if he saw Sakusa in the wild—by wild he meant outside Sakusa’s building cause apparently Sakusa almost never stepped foot outside the studio.
One time on a great and shiny day, he locked eyes with Sakusa in front of his building. Turned out, Sakusa had a cousin in Phys Ed but a year below him. Atsumu once or twice spoke with Komori Motoya and he couldn’t understand how could cousins be this different. When Sakusa locked eyes with Atsumu, Komori turned his head towards Atsumu—perhaps looking at the person whom Sakusa looked at with such disdain in his eyes—and laughed at Sakusa’s face. Sakusa just rolled his eyes at his cousin.
Atsumu shivered a little bit when Sakusa began walking towards him. He had to give himself an inconspicuous pinch on the side of his thigh when Sakusa was already three steps in front of him.
“Do you think the campus convenience store sells lottery tickets?” Atsumu asked Sakusa when he stopped right in front of him.
“Huh?”
“I feel so damn lucky after seeing you here I need to prove my luck.”
Sakusa rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, “so stupid.”
“Hey! I heard that!”
“Good for you your ears are working properly.”
Atsumu should have been feeling irked by Sakusa’s irritating tone but he just couldn’t. He was so side-tracked with how Sakusa’s usually deep black hair looked so mesmerizing with its brown tint when the sunlight kissed its strands.
“Mmm actually, Miya, I want to ask you something.” Sakusa said with a hint of hesitance in his voice.
“Go for it, Saku—wait. I thought you didn’t know my name?”
“Is it that important?”
“It is, Omi-kun! At least for me!” Atsumu could not refrain from smiling so wide listening to his own name coming out from the man in front of him.
“I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear the ridiculous nickname that you called me with just now,” Sakusa sighed and continued, “I want you to be my model for my final project.”
Atsumu furrowed his brows, “are you asking me or...? Because I didn’t hear the word ‘please’ from you.”
Sakusa had to take a second to breathe, “okay. Miya, I need a model for my final project. Can you please be my model?”
Atsumu giggled at how so desperate Sakusa sounded, “aww Omi-kun, you actually can be polite!”
“So? Do you want to or not?”
“Depends on your answer to my question.”
“Yes, I will let you call me ‘Omi’.”
Atsumu laughed seeing the grimace on Sakusa’s face, “HAHAHA not that! Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
Sakusa’s eyes widened almost comically so Atsumu immediately added, “not for real, though! Don’t be that surprised, Omi-kun! Just pretend that we’re dating for—I don’t know—until you don’t need me to be your model anymore.”
The seconds of Atsumu waiting for Sakusa’s response were excruciating. Atsumu had to witness a lot of emotions flashing on Sakusa’s face that made Atsumu think that the whole idea was a huge mistake. He vowed to kill Osamu later, but after Osamu cooked their dinner.
“Alright.”
“Alright?”
“Yes, Miya. How many times do I have to repeat that?”
“Please say it one more time, Omi-kun.”
Sakusa closed his eyes, inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly like he’s in a middle of a meditation, “yes, Miya. Let’s do this.”
Atsumu couldn’t stop himself from grinning so widely, “no backsies, okay?”
“I just need one condition, Miya. One mistake and I will look for another model, and you will look another person to be your willing victim. Don’t ever touch me without my verbal permission.”
“Aww Omi-kun... But I wanna touch your hair.”
“Especially my hair. Don’t. You. Ever. Touch. It.” Sakusa emphasized every word making Atsumu trembled on his feet.
“Okay, Omi-kun. You have my word. But you can touch me whenever you want, I don’t mind.” Atsumu winked at Sakusa whom just rolled his eyes, annoyed.
“Do you have time tomorrow after class, like around 4PM?” Sakusa asked Atsumu who was still grinning.
“I can make time only for you, Omi-kun.”
Sakusa rolled his eyes again for the countless times today, and they’re all triggered by Atsumu, “give me your phone. Call me when you’re in front of the building, I’ll come get you.”
“Aww, you don’t want me to get lost, do you?”
“Whatever you say, Miya.”
“Call me Atsumu, dear boyfie... I feel like you’re calling both me and my twin, and it makes me uncomfortable.”
Sakusa didn’t answer, he just shrugged his shoulder and turned around leaving Atsumu still standing in his place. Atsumu were still grinning from ear to ear, anticipating for tomorrow to come.
What Atsumu didn’t anticipate was that being a sculpture model would be this hard.
Sakusa asked him to hang shirtless on a bar by his hands and fold his legs in a certain angle. The hanging itself was not that hard for Atsumu because he’s used to doing chin-up every day, but holding a weirdly folded legs for an extended time really was straining even for a Phys Ed student like him. Atsumu almost thought that Sakusa found a great joy from torturing him if he even caught a glimpse of amusement from Sakusa, but he only found supreme concentration from his eyes.
Sakusa suprisingly was an observant person. He caught signs when Atsumu was on his limit, then Sakusa immediately asked him to come down and took a minute or two to rest. Sakusa even prepared a few bottles of water and a small towel for him that made Atsumu’s belly fluttered.
“Miya?” Sakusa called him without looking up from his paper and pencil.
“Yes, Omi-kun?”
“Can I ask you why you need a fake boyfriend?”
Atsumu sensed a sincere curiosity in the way Sakusa asked him. Sakusa at least deserved to know the reason as he was greatly involved in this matter, Atsumu thought. Atsumu sat cross legged on the floor and began talking without looking at the person whom he was talking to. There was something in Sakusa’s genuine curiosity that made Atsumu’s chest felt tingly.
“I was cheated on by my ex-girlfriend, but I didn’t have the courage to confront her about it so I just made up excuse that I realized that I didn’t feel attracted to her anymore and I was more attracted to men. I guess she felt betrayed by my reason so she outed me, basically to the whole campus. Osamu—he’s my twin, by the way—had the idea to just confirm everything by like, I don’t know, kissing a hot man on public.” Atsumu felt heat creeping up to his face as his voice grew lower so he just hid his face by pretending to wipe the already dried beads of sweat.
“So you think I’m hot?”
Atsumu whipped his head up, looking at Sakusa who was not engrossed on his paper anymore but was looking at Atsumu with half of a smirk on his lips, “fuck you, Omi! You know you’re hot!”
“Yeah, but it feels great hearing it from yo—I mean others. Yeah, I mean it’s great to know that others think that you’re hot. Bet you never heard it from others.”
“Hey! My ma said I’m hot!”
“Your mom said you’re hot??”
“Not exactly... She said I’m adorable.”
Atsumu heard a snort from Sakusa that he just took as a laugh which made Atsumu felt euphoric. He would take a million snorts from Sakusa if he couldn’t get Sakusa to spare him a laugh. It’s great enough for Atsumu.
“Go take a pose if you’re done with your break, Miya.”
The few days went by with Atsumu getting ordered around; getting into poses that if Atsumu could be honest, were kind of strenuous and odd. But he couldn’t say anything because he wasn’t that confident in his art literacy. Sakusa would ask him to do odd pose then Sakusa would either sketched or took pictures from various angles, sometimes both.
Sakusa would still prepare a few bottles of water, and sometimes among those bottles was isotonic water in Atsumu’s preferred flavor. The first time he saw the raspberry flavored isotonic water among the water bottles, he was surprised and wondered how Sakusa knew the flavor he almost exclusively drank but then he just shrugged off the feeling, thinking that it might be just a small coincidence.
Sakusa also still prepared a small towel which always smelled fresh and felt soft. Atsumu wondered which fabric softener Sakusa used as Atsumu never had his towels be this soft. He also wondered if Sakusa would also smell fresh and soft to touch as his towels.
Sometimes after those long and strenuous hours inside the studio, Atsumu would ask Sakusa to get a meal together under the reason that they both should appear together for them to be perceived as boyfriends. But, even after Atsumu’s presence at the studio wasn’t needed anymore as Sakusa has decided which pose he would sculpt, they would still meet up after class. Sometimes, Sakusa would wait in front of Atsumu’s building, and some other times, Atsumu would just go to Sakusa’s studio and observed the immersed Sakusa working on his sculpture.
Atsumu initially thought that him being there would be a nuisance for Sakusa, but seeing Sakusa still got him a bottle of raspberry flavored isotonic water and none for Sakusa himself felt like a confirmation that Atsumu was welcomed there. Atsumu spent most of the day gawking at Sakusa whom said nothing like he didn’t notice Atsumu’s blatant stare, and if Sakusa did notice, then he was an expert at being indifferent.
“Did you wash your hands?” Sakusa asked Atsumu on one of the days that Sakusa waited in front of Atsumu’s building to get a lunch together.
“I just did. Why?” asked the confused Atsumu. Sakusa didn’t answer, he just extended his upturned hand towards Atsumu. When Atsumu just stood still, Sakusa shot him an impatient glare.
“Your hand, Miya. I’m hungry.” Sakusa moved his hand a little bit closer to Atsumu. Atsumu cautiously put his hand on Sakusa’s palm which Sakusa quickly held.
Sakusa’s hand was slightly damp and cold to touch but Atsumu didn’t mind, not even one bit. Atsumu just tightened his grip, hoping that his hand which was usually a bit warmer than most could warm Sakusa’s hand up.
Atsumu could feel many stares from curious eyes as he walked hand in hand with Sakusa near his school but he couldn’t think more about it—his initial purpose—as having Sakusa’s hand in his felt too good that he just became short-circuited. He hoped that the usual 10 minutes walk would somehow became longer. Atsumu was afraid that he would feel disappointed when they arrived at the soba shop near their campus, when Sakusa would retract his hand from his grip.
Sakusa did pull his hand from Atsumu’s which also did make Atsumu feeling disappointed, but Sakusa soon put his hand on the middle of Atsumu’s back, guiding him inside. Sakusa’s hand also soon found its way to rest on Atsumu’s knee after they put their meal order through. Atsumu felt his body, soul, and his whole existence tensed under Sakusa’s unexpected touch.
“Why are you so tense?”
Damn Sakusa and his observant self, Atsumu thought to himself.
“I’m not tense, though? What are you talking about? Don’t be silly, Omi-kun, hahaha...”
“You are, though.” Sakusa said as he gave Atsumu’s knee a gentle squeeze to prove his point. It indeed proved his point as Atsumu froze and tensed even more than he already was.
“Why are you so touchy today, Omi-kuuuun?” Atsumu’s almost whiny voice made Sakusa let out a breathy laugh through his nose.
“So you don’t like it?” Sakusa put his temple on his free hand and gazed at Atsumu whose heart was beating loudly.
“It’s not that I don’t like i—stay still!” Atsumu grabbed Sakusa’s wrist which was covered with his sweater sleeve to stop him from slowly lifting his hand off of Atsumu’s knee and put it back on the already blazing spot, “I’m just not used to you being this touchy, Omi.”
“Get used to it, then.”
Atsumu looked around the restaurant and noticed that there was no familiar face from school, “but you don’t need to pretend outside the campus, Omi. There’s no one here.”
Sakusa’s eyebrows twitched a little before relaxing, “so I’m only allowed to hold your hand at the campus, where everyone is looking? But you said I can touch you whenever I want.”
Atsumu couldn’t help but feeling puzzled with the guy whose gaze so intense it could make Atsumu crumbled on the spot. The way Sakusa’s hand giving almost unnoticeable squeezes every few seconds successfully made Atsumu lose his bearing.
The way Sakusa was treating him almost made him believe that they were not in a pretend play. Sakusa never even used a snarky tone of his anymore whenever he talked to Atsumu. He almost believed that whatever it was they were doing was just Sakusa being his boyfriend and vice versa.
The giddiness Atsumu felt in every steps he took on the path to wherever Sakusa was felt almost too real. He never felt that way to anyone before. If it was a false feeling he felt, Atsumu would gladly live in a made-believe world he built by himself. He would eagerly live there for however long Sakusa allowed him to.
But in every passing days that he could see Sakusa’s sculpture taking shape even clearer, Atsumu was filled with overflowing unease. The clearer the sculpture’s form was, the clearer also the ending of whatever it was that he and Sakusa were doing. If he wanted to, he could just shove the sculpture Sakusa worked so hard on for the past two months to the floor and watched it crumble to pieces.
“It’s almost done, isn’t it, Omi-kun?” the double-edged sword that Atsumu unsheathed drew blood from its first victim; himself.
“I guess it is.” Sakusa answered without looking up from his project.
It was an odd experience watching someone so intensely working on something that somewhat resembled you, Atsumu thought. But he would trade anything in his possession just to witness it for a little longer. Just to sit in the corner of the studio, to sip a raspberry flavored isotonic water, and to share a meal after the long hours when the sun began resting for the day.
“You’re a great artist, Omi-kun. Your sculpture looks better than me.”
“I have a hardworking model, thanks to you.”
“Let me know anytime you need me to be your model for another project. Just pay me with food, no need to be my fake boyfriend this time.”
Perhaps Sakusa sensed that something was wrong as he heard Atsumu’s words so he looked up at Atsumu who just smiled at him. Atsumu didn’t know what Sakusa saw in his face that promptly made Sakusa stopped working and wiped his hands on the handkerchief he took out from his pocket. He walked to the corner where Atsumu sat and stopped just a mere distance that his knees almost touched Atsumu’s. He lowered himself, knelt in front of Atsumu, and looked up with his dark eyes.
“Why do you look like that?”
“Like what, Omi-kun?” Atsumu just tittered, anxiously expecting what would come out of Sakusa’s mouth.
“You look like you’re so heartbroken.”
“Huh? I think you’re hallucinating.” Atsumu averted his eyes from Sakusa’s face, afraid that the extremely observant man kneeling in front of him would see so much more than Atsumu’s willing to show.
“Then tell me why you look like you’re about to cry.”
“What do you mean? You really are hallucinating, Omi-kun. Anyway, is it going to take much longer until you’re done today? If it is, then can I go first? I’m hungry and Osamu just texted me that he’s making curry. I’ve been craving his curry for weeks so I’m going home. See you tomorrow, Omi-kun!” Atsumu rambled and abruptly stood up from his seat and almost knocked Sakusa over in the process if Sakusa wasn’t agile enough.
Atsumu was just two steps away before he could reach the doorknob when he heard Sakusa said his name. His name.
“Just eat curry with me, Atsumu.”
Atsumu was so used to everyone calling him by his first name as he wanted to put a distance from perceived as one entity with Osamu. It didn’t matter how much he loved Osamu, he wanted to be be known as himself, not as a half of a set.
He was so used to it all that he didn’t expect the visceral reaction he felt from the experience of Sakusa calling his first name for the first time. His heart felt like it almost jumped out of his rib cage. His blood flowed faster that it was pounding in his ears. The sound was so loud he couldn’t hear the sound of Sakusa walking towards him. Sakusa then held Atsumu’s upper arms and turned him to look at his face.
“I still need you as my model for so much longer, so if it’s okay with you, please keep being my model, Atsumu. I will pay you with all the foods you want and by being your boyfriend, but a real one this time. What do you think?”
Atsumu barely felt the tremble in Sakusa’s hands which still holding his arms gently. Atsumu giggled a little, thinking how adorable the nervous Sakusa was, before nodding at Sakusa who was then visibly relaxing.
Sakusa’s hold on Atsumu’s arms lowered to hold both his hands with immense tenderness. Sakusa walked half a step slowly towards Atsumu to draw even nearer. One of his hand let go of its hold on Atsumu’s hand and slipped to Atsumu’s waist, then pulled him a little closer.
Atsumu’s breath hitched as Sakusa’s face grew closer and closer with each passing seconds. He just closed his eyes and lips tightly even after he felt Sakusa’s lips touching his.
“You can kiss me back, Atsumu.” Sakusa whispered on Atsumu’s lips then closed their distance again. Just like a person waking up from a daze, Atsumu then kissed Sakusa back. His hands finally found their way to Sakusa’s jet black hair which he had imagined so many times how it would feel between his fingers. It was a bit coarser than he imagined, but it was still a delightful feeling.
Atsumu didn’t know how much time has passed when Sakusa stopped and gave the corner of his lips a light peck. He also didn’t know how and when Sakusa pushed him up the wall. He couldn’t think of things other than how soft the way Sakusa was kissing him, how Sakusa’s hair felt between his fingers, and how he finally knew how Sakusa smelt like; peppermint.
“Next time we kiss, it’ll be on public, just like how you planned it.” Sakusa said with a smile palpable in his voice. Atsumu just laughed and nodded.
“I’m looking forward to it, Omi-kun.”
Sakusa was dead tired. He wished he just dropped dead in the middle of this irritatingly well-lit hall. But he couldn’t tarnish his reputation already as it was the first exhibition he had the chance of joining, even though it was a small and a joint exhibition. But it was fine for him.
But the ridiculously tight deadline really took a toll on him as he barely finished the last piece of his exhibits. He didn’t feel satisfied with how the piece turned out but he just sent it to the hall as soon as it’s dried and slept just for a few hours in the studio after not being able to sleep properly for a few days. So it was beyond his control that he was being extremely cranky and irritated.
“What a hideous painting.” Sakusa muttered under his breath in front of the exhibit that was so displeasing in his eyes. He didn’t realize there was someone beside him watching the same painting, close enough to hear his mumbling.
“I think it’s beautiful. The lake is so beautifully drawn I felt like jumping and swimming in it. The sunlight hitting the grass is also beautiful. I almost could smell the grass.”
“Hah, it’s obvious that the painter used a already brittle brush. Here, look at these brush hairs stuck in this painting. Here, and here,” Sakusa pointed at the faults in the painting, “and their strokes are so messy and scattered. It’s so obvious the painter worked on this in a hurry. It’s an embarrassment for this painting to be displayed among other arts here.”
“I don’t really have a trained eyes for arts, so you might be right about those things you said. But those faults didn’t make this painting any less than beautiful. My heart is so overflowing with feelings just by looking at this painting. Isn’t that what art is made for; to evoke feelings in your heart?”
Sakusa couldn’t take his eyes off of the man beside him who was still observing the painting so deeply with a small smile on his lips and a twinkling eyes. Sakusa felt his heart grew warmer with an unknown reason. The man turned his head towards Sakusa still with a small smile.
“I just know this artist—,” the man then glanced at the artwork label pasted beside the painting, “Sakusa Kiyoomi-san—will be famous one day. They’re a great artist. I’m looking forward to see their next artworks.”
Sakusa feet was planted in place even so long after the man left. He replayed the sincere words inside his head for countless times.
Even years after the encounter, Sakusa still had the words perfectly recorded inside his head which he mentally replayed every time he had a hard time. Then how surprisingf or him to see the owner of the voice which cheered him on his hard times was there when he watched his cousin’s track and field competition,
under the sun,
with sweats dripping on his face,
drinking a raspberry isotonic water.