Work Text:
Crowe just could not look away. He couldn’t.
It was a rather slow day, dull and monotonous. People needed him for a few minor issues with some school policies and the occasional complaint, but nothing too out of the ordinary thus far.
During the 15 minute period between classes, he grouped up with his friends, greeting them as usual while still subtly looking around for you with a swivel of his head. Sometimes you’d join, sometimes you’d do your own thing. He was happy enough you felt comfortable in your independence and never obligated to spend time with the group. Crowe would have continued this train of thought if he hadn’t seen you at the end of the hall with that other male you were nowadays often seen with.
You were facing away from Crowe and the group, completely engrossed in what seemed to be playful banter with the taller male in green. He couldn’t see your face. Your shoulders shook visibly as you laughed loud enough for the echo to reach Crowe’s ears amidst all the hallway chatter. Your body language and how you openly touched the other male with a sarcastic push without any hesitation was much unlike how you and Crowe were.
When you and Crowe hung out and talked, everything felt much more stilted, as if the two of you were afraid to overstep. There was the occasional brush of fingers and sometimes a lingering touch, but not anywhere close to what you appeared to have with that… Solivan Brugsmansia. That one. Crowe’s face didn’t fall or contort at the sight of you and him, but his eyes refused to leave the scene alone.
“Crowe! Man! What’s got you so spaced out?”
Deryl, in his infinite curiosity, clapped a hand on Crowe’s shoulder and tried to follow his friend’s eyes. When they landed on the view ahead, he immediately made an attempt to justify it.
“Hey, cmon, I’m sure it’s nothing, you know…” But as soon as he saw Sol make that same face at you that Jessie made so beautifully whenever she was around Brittney, Deryl shut his mouth.
—
Crowe’s next class was one he had alone. At least, without his usual friends or with you. While he was generally the type to be friendly with everyone, he was also grateful he could have some time to himself where he didn’t feel the need to entertain anyone’s attention.
The classroom was quiet except for the gentle scrape of pencils and the occasional cough. Crowe copied the formula stated in his textbook and tapped the eraser of his pencil to his lips, kneading it against his teeth. Other than the problem, his page was blank.
It was obviously very silly to be so fixated on the sight of you having so much fun with another man, especially since Crowe would normally encourage you to make as many friends as you could, but there was something else in the air. Solivan Brugsmansia… that one.
Crowe wasn’t necessarily intimidated by him nor did he find him unsightly, but there was an overwhelming sense of uneasiness when the two men made eye contact. Crowe wasn’t stupid. He knew very obviously Solivan did not like him.
A smaller, quieter part of Crowe felt it only fair to dislike him back.
It was undoubtedly true, though, that Solivan made you happy. There was a level of comfort the two of you naturally shared- even higher than the level Crowe and you spent years building. The way you laughed…
It felt wrong to even have an opinion on your relationships. It shouldn’t be Crowe’s business, but he-
The tip of the pencil snapped on his paper. Crowe sighed and inspected the damage: the lead had been broken at a near 90 degree angle, still clinging to the flimsy shavings of the wood’s pointed edge. It was no hassle to get up and resharpen the pencil, but to look down at his paper and see the sharp and unsightly line the smudge left on the page was unsatisfying. At least Crowe could start over now. His handwriting was looking a bit sloppier than usual anyway.
Crowe began to rewrite all the formulas on a fresh sheet of paper, smiling to himself that the substitution letters were made up of your initials. How funny.
—
After the day was finally over and it was already starting to get dark, Crowe prepared his belongings for the walk back home. He had to stay a bit later than he would have liked, but when it came to his job as class representative, he preferred not to slack off. It was a definite pity everyone had probably already gone home, but Crowe didn’t really want to chitchat today anyhow.
He sighed as he pulled his winter coat over his shoulders that ached uncharacteristically. It looked like it might snow on the way home.
Crowe was about to pull his gloves on over his fingers when his phone buzzed in his pocket, almost quiet enough to miss it entirely. He laboriously pulled it out to look at the simple notification on his lockscreen.
Look behind you.
Crowe did just that, scanning the front entrance for any familiar faces, finding only an organized sea of those left behind after a long day. He squinted before he finally saw a winter hat with the pom-pom bobbing on top. Oh!
You pushed through the crowd, giving a small almost-wave when the two of you finally made eye contact.
“Hey! I didn’t see much of you today.” Your words were casual and hid only the slightest bit of disappointment. Crowe just then remembered to smile.
“I apologize. I guess I was busier than I thought I’d be.” Crowe’s statement felt unnatural only now that he was comparing himself to someone else, “What held you back so long today?”
Your demeanor shifted a bit more casually as the two of you now headed off school grounds and in no direction in particular, faces getting nipped by the sharp cold air as your breaths came out in white puffs. Your smile was refreshing to see.
“I spent all afternoon pruning the bushes in the greenhouse. Would you believe there’s still more? I swear…” Your pout made it so easy for Crowe to laugh. How could you be so effortlessly charming?
He’d never get enough of your expressions, even if they weren’t always directed at him.
“Sounds tough. I’d love to help you out sometime.” It felt innocuous enough, Crowe’s offer, but underneath he wondered if you could detect his underlying desperation. I want us to spend more time together.
You seemed to like that idea, picking up on his double meaning or not.
The two of you continued to stroll about, cutting through the park as light flurries of snow wafted through the air. The streetlights automatically turned on and illuminated your face.
It felt natural to walk beside you this way, however the two of you did not touch and kept a respectful distance and it was nearly killing Crowe. He felt like an overflowing bottle where the cork threatened to burst off at any moment.
You were recounting to him a story about your favorite horse before you cut yourself off with a sneeze. To Crowe’s attentive eyes, he noticed how you trembled very slightly like a flower petal ready to fall off its stem. Too fragile.
“Here,” Crowe was already removing both gloves from his own hands while you assured him you were fine. You always did that. He couldn’t let you be stubborn all the time.
“No, no, I’m fine, see?” You grinned cheesily, which only highlighted your red nose and slightly dry skin. Crowe wasn’t sure how that was supposed to convince him. When it was obvious he wouldn’t relent, you bit your lip and put on a single glove, muttering a bashful ‘thank you.’
When you didn’t wear the leftover glove, Crowe raised an eyebrow. You only shoved it back at him and insisted he have that one instead. Clearly you had some plan, so he did as you said.
Your frozen fingertips then guided his bare hand to his own coat’s pocket, holding hands tightly in the warmth of his winter coat. Now Crowe felt extra warm, unable to speak.
“There. That way it’s equal.” Then you smiled at Crowe in a way that made his heart flutter, and he smiled back. Your eyes were bright as a star, and for Crowe, that was enough to ease all the worry kept in his thoughts from that day.
Hope bloomed in his chest when he squeezed your hand and you squeezed twice back.