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Minseok always believed that Minhyung was a strong person.
Physical strength was one thing. Minhyung was huge, and the fact he was probably the only other member of T1 who went to the gym semi-regularly like Hyeonjun contributed to that. He had the muscles and build to prove it, and Minseok wasn’t ashamed to admit he often had Minhyung help him with any heavy lifting.
It was Minhyung’s mental fortitude that was a larger testament to his strength, in Minseok’s opinion.
Every single public figure has to deal with their fair share of haters. That much, Minseok knew. Even he was aware he had his own fair share of haters, toxic individuals who had no better use of their time than to spew hate and flay him alive with their poison-laden words. He’d learned to let their words glide off his back like water, never giving them the satisfaction of letting whatever bullshit they spouted affect his performance in any way, shape, or form.
His haters were never as bad as Minhyung’s were, though.
Minseok never really understood what Minhyung did to deserve whatever treatment he received from his rabid haters. Was it his confidence, the way he seemed so self-assured it could be interpreted as him being cocky? Was it the fact that he bled black and red like their beloved Sanghyeok-hyung, that could be interpreted as him eventually aiming to replace the elder as the face of T1? All of this, despite the fact his cockiness is truly what made him a gem in their team dynamics, and that his devotion to the team extended further than whatever selfish narratives his haters spewed - to carve his own destiny and image within the team?
And how was he able to just…exist, despite everything?
Perhaps that was just how Minhyung is. Resilient, in a sense that he was able to endure whatever bullshit thrown his way while proving his worth to everyone. Because yes, he had his team, his friends, and especially his boyfriend to back him up, but their presence wouldn’t even matter if Minhyung didn’t have the drive to do so anyways. Maybe that’s why he always seemed to be overflowing with love - it was his way to repay everyone’s love and care.
Maybe that’s why, in Minseok’s humble yet undeniably biased opinion, Minhyung gave the best hugs - warm and firm, a thick blanket wrapped firmly around Minseok’s much smaller frame. But more than that, his boyfriend’s hugs were comforting in a way that never truly belies his own pain, his feelings wrapped impossibly tightly so as to never project his own weakness towards others. Whenever he hugs Minseok, he always prioritizes making Minseok feel as comfortable as possible.
So, when Minhyung’s hugs grew crushing and desperate, clingy in a way that felt like he was scared of losing Minseok, the smaller man knew something was undeniably, horrifyingly wrong.
Minseok could pinpoint the exact moment things went horribly wrong. It had started not long after their coaching staff decided that they’d like to try out a 6-man roster, benching Minhyung and denying him the starting position. Minseok remembered he and Hyeonjun being the ones most vocal about that decision, voicing out their complaints the loudest as they fought for Minhyung. Hyunjoon was calmer in his concerns, mostly pointing out the fact that it wouldn’t make sense to not let them build chemistry with each other, especially since he had just moved to T1. Even Sanghyeok had voiced out his discontent, only reluctantly agreeing to their decision to try the 6-man roster after he echoed everyone else’s concerns and realized there was simply no budging from the coaching staff.
The most chilling part of that entire exchange, in hindsight, was the fact that Minhyung had been silent throughout it all - only quietly accepting the decision even as his teammates all showered him with concern.
Minseok wasn’t dumb. He knew his boyfriend inside and out, like the back of his own palm. He knew when Minhyung wasn't in the best mood, when he didn’t want to talk but still wanted some company, when something was bothering him. Recognized the way his muscles grew taut with tension, the way his brows furrowed with thoughts bouncing around in his head, the way his eyes would sometimes faintly glisten with unshed tears. Yet somehow, fucking somehow, his hugs always remained as they were, despite whatever emotional turmoil in his heart.
Until they didn’t.
Minhyung had visited Minseok in his room one seemingly random evening after Sanghyeok had pulled Minhyung into his room, the two suns having their own heart-to-heart in relative privacy. Minseok remembered opening the door to a sniffling Minhyung, eyes uncharacteristically red-rimmed and brimming with tears. There were tear tracks trailing from the edges of his eyes, and Minseok recalled quickly ushering Minhyung into his room once he noticed the tears still falling from his eyes. He’d only managed to close the door when Minhyung immediately pulled Minseok into a crushing hug, almost as if he was deathly afraid Minseok was going to disappear in front of his very eyes.
And Minseok, despite the alarm bells blaring loudly in his mind, simply allowed it to happen.
Minseok reached upwards to rub gentle circles into Minhyung’s back, feeling his heart twist when he heard quiet sobs spilling out from the taller man’s mouth. He felt Minhyung bury his face into the crook of Minseok’s neck, felt Minhyung’s tears through the thin fabric of his shirt. Whispered quiet reassurances into the shell of Minhyung’s ears, soft ‘I got you, Minhyung-ie’s and ‘I’m here, just let it all out’s that he desperately hoped was able to comfort Minhyung, if only the tiniest bit.
Minseok couldn’t help but feel he was watching Minhyung unraveling in front of his very eyes, frayed edges slowly becoming undone and revealing all the hurt and pain imprinted into his heart. Minhyung, always so confident and self-assured and smiling - now a sobbing mess in his arms, his flayed heart laid bare for Minseok to see. Though he wasn’t quite able to form coherent sentences with his emotions running haywire, Minseok had an inkling of what he and Sanghyeok-hyung were talking about.
He wasn’t going to push, however.
Right now, his priority was making sure Minhyung was seen. That despite the unsightly wounds and scars covering every single surface of his bleeding heart, Minseok would remain by Minhyung’s side, providing any modicum of comfort for the taller man, no matter how small. That he loved and cared for Minhyung as much as Minhyung cared for him, that he’ll accept all of Minhyung’s pain and anguish like Minhyung would do for him. Minhyung had the bravery to expose his weakest, most vulnerable side to Minseok, and Minseok would be a fool to take Minhyung’s trust for granted.
So, Minseok gently maneuvered them both to his bed. He tugged Minhyung as they somehow ended up seated on his bed, tangled limbs and all. He continued his comforting whispers, the gentle circles into Minhyung’s back - all while he begged his racing heart to slow down, because he needed to be strong for Minhyung. He willed his mind to stay silent, to fully focus on his sobbing boyfriend, as he listened for any signs of Minhyung calming down - slowing breaths, lack of sniffling, the death grip Minhyung had on the fabric of his shirt loosening.
Then, and only then, did Minseok gently extract himself from Minhyung’s embrace, grabbing the box of tissues from his bedside table and offering it to Minhyung.
“Thanks, Minseok-ie.” Minhyung murmured gratefully, his voice rough and wet with tears. He took several tissues and immediately started drying what remained of his tears, clearing away the snot clogging his nostrils for good measure. Yet he remained unable - or, perhaps, unwilling - to meet Minseok’s gaze, his eyes fixated onto the tissue box Minseok had placed on his bed. “I…I’m sorry-”
“It’s okay, Minhyung-ie. No need to apologize.” Minseok whispered, a sad smile playing on the edges of his lips. “Take your time. It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it, either. Just know that I’ll still be here for you, no matter what.”
Minhyung shook his head gently, his thick bangs gently swaying with the motion. “N- no. I…want to. Talk about it, I mean. Just…let me find the words first.”
And Minseok let him.
Minseok watched as Minhyung took several deep breaths to steady himself. Watched the cogs in Minhyung’s mind go into overdrive as he tried to figure out just how he’s going to tell Minseok what he wanted to tell. Watched as Minhyung wrings his hands together, still refusing to meet Minseok’s gaze.
Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, Minhyung started talking.
Minhyung, essentially, had a long and serious talk with Sanghyeok about…everything, really. How insecure he’d gotten ever since he’d gotten benched. How he, despite the fact that he won Worlds back-to-back, found himself questioning his worth come this year’s season. How the hate and harassment had slowly and gradually gotten to him, no matter how much he tried to ignore them. How he, despite all the promises he made to everyone, felt like he wanted to leave T1 - because he wasn’t blind, goddammit, and for the very first time he felt like he was treated like fucking trash by the organization he had once sworn his loyalty to.
He may bleed black and red, but he was running out of blood to give.
Sanghyeok had listened quietly, attentively. And, the moment Minhyung finished his rant, he had pulled Minhyung into a gentle hug, before saying his piece.
“He- he apologized to me because he couldn’t really help me with…everything.” Minhyung choked out, and Minseok felt his heart ache for his boyfriend all over again. “And- and he told me- he was going to support me no matter what. As long as I- I felt it would be the b- best for me. E- even if I left T1. B- because he c- can’t stand seeing m- me in this much pain…!”
Minseok could imagine it. Sanghyeok, their most reliable hyung and one of their two emotional pillars, supporting the weight of a crumbling Minhyung, cracking and breaking under the weight of his struggles. Their eldest always tried his best to ensure his teammates wouldn’t buckle under pressure, his calming presence oftentimes helping with that. He always seemed to know what to say and when to say it.
All of a sudden, MInseok remembered a small snippet of a conversation he had accidentally overheard not long after last year’s Worlds, between Sanghyeok and Wooje.
“If you truly believe that decision is for the best, then take it. I will support you no matter what, Wooje-ah.”
“But- hyung, you’re not angry?”
“Of course I’m not angry, you silly duck. Yes, I’ll miss you - just like Minhyung, Minseok, and Hyeonjun will also miss you. But, what matters most to me is that you are happy.”
“...hyung, I-”
“It’s okay, Wooje-ah. You’ll always be one of my most cherished teammates, and I look forward to seeing you flourish. I always tell you all to forge your own paths with your heads held high, and this time isn’t any different. I’ll support you, no matter what.”
Minseok had an inkling that Minhyung’s conversation with Sanghyeok went in a similar direction.
And as much as Minseok’s heart twisted unbearably harshly at the thought of no longer playing with Minhyung, it pained him even more to see his boyfriend treated extremely poorly by the organization he had sworn his life to once upon a time. Being known as the best bot duo in the world meant nothing if it came with the fact they weren’t going to be allowed to consistently play together, and it certainly meant jack shit if Minseok had to watch Minhyung bleed dry for an organization that didn’t seem to care about him.
If Minhyung truly felt that it would be for the best to leave T1, then Minseok would wholeheartedly support his boyfriend and his decision no matter what.
Even if it crushed him, broke him into a million tiny pieces.
“Minhyung-ie…I’m with Sanghyeok-hyung on this.” Minseok whispered, feeling his eyes also well up with tears. “If- if you really think it’s for the best, then…”
He very nearly broke down on the spot when Minhyung whipped his head up to finally meet Minseok’s gaze, broken and betrayed and terrified - feelings he never once thought he’d see so obviously broadcasted in his dark eyes alone. “Minseok-ie, why? I thought you wanted t- to-”
“Let me finish.” Minseok’s quiet, pleading murmur was almost deafeningly loud in the silence of his room. “P- please, Minhyung-ie. And after I finish saying my piece, you can curse me out as much as you want, if that’s what you truly want. I can take it.”
Minseok hoped he could, at least.
He knew he would never be ‘fine’ ever again if Minhyung told him he hated him and meant it.
Minseok saw Minhyung opening his mouth, as if he was ready to argue. But, mercifully, he remained silent - closing his mouth before nodding his assent. Quiet, attentive, fully present despite the emotional maelstrom that was surely already brewing in his heart.
With that, Minseok finally felt ready to start his spiel.
“Of course I want to play with you for as long as we can. Maybe even until we’re old and wrinkly and have no more business playing League. And while part of it is because we work well together, the most important reason for me personally is that it’s most fun playing with you.” Minseok started with a wet chuckle, because there really was no other way to start, no other way to broach the topic of them no longer being on the same side on the rift. Because that’s what they were - the Unkillable Demon Prince and the Genius Monster, undoubtedly the best bot duo in the world. But more than their legacy, they loved playing with each other, enabling whatever insane plays they had in mind. “I keep on telling you, right? We’re the best bot duo in the entire world, and there’s nobody else who could match up to you, Minhyung-ie - both on and off the rift. Not in my eyes.”
Because, well, it’s true. Minseok is an extremely biased person at heart, and with Minhyung being his boyfriend in addition to his ADC, there really was no comparing him to anyone. Their synergy is something every pro player would die for, their own personal skill levels notwithstanding, and part of why that was the case Minseok would attribute to just how well they meshed with each other.
“But…” Minseok sucked in a harsh breath, his eyes cast towards his hands, curled impossibly tightly on the fabric of his pants, knuckles paper-white from sheer tension. “I hate seeing you suffering, Minhyung-ie. I hate going on stage and playing with an ADC that isn’t you, knowing that you’re basically exiled to the coaching booth. And I know it has to be worse for you because you just don’t get to do anything this fucking year, but I also can’t help but hurt too!”
Halfway into his outburst, Minseok had essentially doubled over, his back hunched as he buried his face into Minhyung’s chest. And Minhyung, bless his heart, was quick to react, his hands immediately encircling Minseok’s trembling frame and pulling Minseok closer to him.
“I hate this!” Minseok wailed, no longer able to keep his voice down. “I hate that you’re suffering because of our coaches and their fucking stupid decisions! I hate that they don’t seem to care about you, that they’re willing to cast you away - and for what?! You didn’t swear loyalty to T1 for nothing, why couldn’t they repay it properly?! Why the fuck are they taking you for granted?! A- and I know I’m being selfish because whatever pain I’m feeling right now is incomparable to what you’re going through, and now I-”
Minseok whimpered, feeling his body go limp, energy completely expended. Minhyung caught him before he could land harshly on his lap, pulling the smaller man impossibly close. He felt Minhyung rest his head atop his head, felt the other man’s tears wetting his head.
“As much as I love being the best bot duo with you, I…I can’t help but wonder, you know? Would you be happier if you just…left? Because Minhyung-ie…you deserve so much more than this.”
“Sanghyeok-hyung said that too. C- can you believe it? Sanghyeok-hyung.” Minhyung whispered, and Minseok could hear the tears threatening to escape his boyfriend’s eyes all over again. “Told me it’s understandable I wanted to leave. T- that I deserve to be treated better. Even after all those promises I made a long time ago…”
Promises that felt entire lifetimes ago by now, surely. Because there was no way Minhyung would willingly agree to sign with T1 if he knew he’d be treated this way in the future. Minhyung knew his worth even back then, knew he was one of the best ADCs - and the fact that he now questioned his worth was a testament to just how badly he was affected by everything he was forced to endure.
“But…I want to keep playing with everyone. You especially, Minseok-ie.” Minhyung continued, his whispers deafeningly loud once again. “Because I feel the same way. I…I have the most fun playing with you. And- I don’t know. I guess I just don’t want to be…pushed away. Because of everything. And- and I know Sanghyeok-hyung never meant it like that, but it- it still hurts, you know? B- because even he can’t do much to help with…”
Minhyung trailed off, but the implications rang clear in Minseok’s head.
And Minseok’s heart twisted impossibly tightly once again.
“Sanghyeok-hyung said that because he cares, Minhyung-ie. He can only fight for us in the way a team captain would - because he’s a player like us at the end of the day.” Minseok mumbled into the fabric of Minhyung’s shirt. “He saw all of his former teammates leave. A lot of our friends from T1 play in different teams now, and he’s still friends with them. Never stopped caring about them. He- he probably already accepted that goodbyes are inevitable, and people’s priorities change. You thinking of leaving T1 only now is something he’s probably not even surprised at.”
Because who would willingly put up with both the immense amount of hate and harassment as well as being benched without any clear reason when all you wanted to do was play the goddamned game?
“And…Minhyung-ie. I know you want to play with me for as long as humanly possible. Trust me, I do too.” Minseok continued down his train of thought. “But all this time, you circled your decisions around me, and the thought of playing with me. And I appreciate it, because that means you hold me in as high regard as I hold you in. But…”
Minseok sucked in a harsh breath. This is it - what he’d always wanted to tell Minhyung ever since the start of the 6-man roster decision.
“Just this once, I want you to choose yourself. And if that means I don’t get to play with you anymore…I’ll learn to accept it. I love you too much for anything else, Minhyung-ie.”
Minhyung remained in a thoughtful silence, and Minseok could feel the slightest hint of calm settling into his very being. His harsh, heaving breaths have since settled into something softer, more stable. Minseok could hear the cogs in his mind slowing down, processing Minseok’s words carefully, letting them fully settle in his mind. Once the implications fully settled in his mind, he brought his hand to Minseok’s cheek, tilting his head up to face Minhyung properly.
And finally, finally, their gazes met.
There was the faintest flicker of light in Minhyung’s eyes. Nestled within the maelstrom of sorrow and confusion in the dark pools of his eyes was a small glint of hope, shining brightly despite the storm surrounding it threatening to sweep it away. Minseok couldn’t help but admire Minhyung even more, the strength for him to rekindle the hope he had for his future.
“Minseok-ie, I…”
Minseok silenced Minhyung by pressing their foreheads together, smiling in a way he hoped was comforting to his boyfriend.
“You don’t have to have an answer right now, Minhyung-ie. It’s a huge decision to make. I know, because I went through the same thing when I left DRX for T1. But whatever decision you end up making, it better be one you made because it’s the best for you. Not me, not the team, and especially not the organization. But you - Lee Minhyung, the person behind the screen name Gumayusi.” Minseok reassured gently, extending his right pinky and presenting it to Minhyung. “We’ll make it work, no matter what you do. Promise?”
Minhyung chuckled, already moving to intertwine Minseok’s pinky with his. His voice was still wet with tears, but Minseok was comforted by the fact that, for the first time in this entire exchange, Minhyung was able to smile. Not one of his usual, self-assured smiles, perhaps, but a smile nonetheless - a faint upwards quirk of the corners of his lips, soft and barely-there but no less genuine.
A faint shadow of the Minhyung he had fallen for a long time ago. The ADC that had, once upon a time, swooped into his life, charming him into becoming his Support, both on and off the rift.
A resurgence of the Minhyung he knew and loved, amidst the cracks threatening to split him open, breaking him into a million tiny pieces.
Beautiful, despite his festering wounds.
“I promise, Minseok-ie.”
And that assertion, so genuine and unguarded and undeniably Minhyung, made Minseok truly believe that no matter what the future would bring, he and Minhyung would be alright.