Chapter Text

“LEN.” Fukase shouts at the top of his lungs.

“WHAT.” Len shouts back not nearly as loud as Fukase.

“I made a breakthrough.” Fukase says more than an excited toddler.

“In what?” Len says confused.

Fukase pulls Len’s arm roughly and moves him into the basement where they pass by 40 kidnapped people.

“What happened to the other 40 people?” Len says confused.

“They died while I made this masterpiece." Fukase says moving quicker than Len can move.

“How the fuck do they die?” says Len confused and a bit scared for what he might see”

“They tried to revolt against my great idea.” Fukase says letting go of Len’s hand to open the basement's second door made to prevent people from escaping.

“Here it is.” Fukase says opening the door and there it was.

“What the fuck am I looking at?” says Len both impressed and disgusted.

“My chicken microwave.” Fukase says, waiting for Len’s reaction.

Len just looks at it while thinking what to say or if he should even say something.

“What- how- why- … ok.” as Len takes a deep breath “1. What made you do this, 2. How did you do this, 3. Why did you do this?”

“1. I thought it would be cool” Fukase says, thinking of another reason.

“2. Quite easy all I did was cure the pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis from the chicken and give the chicken Sevoflurane, Isoflurane and Desflurane as for the microwave I had to do a bios update unplug it during the middle of it so it was bricked and no not that way and then for fusing them I shaped the chicken around the microwave and then woke up the chicken and fixed the microwave.” Fukase says in a know it all tone.

“What the fuck did you say?” Len says not understanding anything Fukase just said.

“3. It was super fun to see if you could mix animals and microwaves.” Fukase says, answering Len’s question.

“What did you say?” Len says wanting answers for the second question.

“It was super fun to see if you could mix animals and microwaves.” Fukase repeats.

“No, the second answer to my question.” Len says a bit pissed off now.

“What about it?” Fukase says confused.

“Can you explain it in simple terms.” Len says slowly.

“Fine, I cured the chickens pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis which is a lung disease caused by inhaling ash and sand dust.” Fukase says slowly, almost mockingly.

“Ok.” Len says a bit annoyed by what he perceives as mocking.

“Then, I put the chicken under anesthesia using 3 different types of anesthesia.” Fukase says slowly and mockingly.

“Ok, YOU DON’T HAVE TO SPEAK SO SLOWLY FOR FUCKS SAKE.” Len says pissed off.

“Ok, calm the fuck down.” Fukase says, trying to calm Len down.

“Ok.” Len breathes in and out and calms down.

“And then, I updated it and pulled the plug which makes it impossible to use properly.” Fukase explains how bricking laptops works.

“And for fusing I don’t know how to explain it.” Fukase says confused on how to explain fusing.

“Does it cook food?” Len says getting hungry.

“Well, I haven’t tested it but what is the worst that could happen?” Fukase says naively.

Chapter Text

“So what do you want to have for lunch Lenny?” Fukase says being all cute.

“Maybe, some noodles.” Len says blushing.

“Ok.” Fukase says as he gets the noodles out from the cabinet.

As Fukase puts the noodles into the chicken microwave and turns it on.

“How long until it is finished?” Len asks as his stomach rumbles.

“2 minutes.” Fukase says as he is just as hungry as Len.

“So how did you make this?” Len says trying to make small talk not realizing he already asked that question.

“You have asked this already.” Fukase says pointing out that Len already asked that.

“I forgot, can you explain again?” Len says hoping that Fukase answers using simple terms.

“Ok sure, so first I cured pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis from the chicken and gave it Sevoflurane, Isoflurane and Desflurane, oh I just remembered I gave the chicken methylenedioxymethamphetamine, lysergic acid diethylamide and benzoylmethylecgonine and as for the microwave I had to do a bios update unplug it during the middle of it so it was bricked and then for fusing them I shaped the chicken around the microwave and then woke up the chicken and fixed the microwave.” Fukase says in a know it all turn.

“What the fuck did you say.” Len says more confused than you the reader (unless you are a medical expert).

“So first I cured pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis from the chicken and gave it Sevoflurane, Isoflurane and Desflurane, oh I just remembered I gave the chicken methylenedioxymethamphetamine, lysergic acid diethylamide and benzoylmethylecgonine and as for the microwave I had to do a bios update unplug it during the middle of it so it was bricked and then for fusing them I shaped the chicken around the microwave and then woke up the chicken and fixed the microwave.” Fukase says in a slow mocking tone.

“Explain it in simple terms.’ Len says slowly.

“I already have.” Fukase says to remind him that he has already explained what he is talking about.

“Well what is, methylenedioxymethamphetamine, lysergic acid diethylamide and benzoylmethylecgonine?” Len says butchering the most words.

“Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, lysergic acid diethylamide and benzoylmethylecgonine.” Fukase says pronouncing them right.

“What do they mean?” Len says getting a bit irritated meanwhile the microwave is heating up too much.

“Methylenedioxymethamphetamine is MDMA, lysergic acid diethylamide is LSD and benzoylmethylecgonine is cocaine.” Fukase explains various illegal drugs.

Suddenly, a loud beep rings out from the chicken microwave.

“What the fuck is going on with that.” Len says panicking.

“There is too much dark mat-” Fukase says before being cut off from a massive bang like a flashbang.

“OW OW OW OW OW FUCK HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK.” Len shouts as he is blinded.

As Fukase vision blurs back to existence he sees the former chicken microwaves components still there alive and well.

…

In a blink of an eye it explodes, polka dots of blood exist on everyone's head as it digs deeply as everyone in the entire universe screams in pain as the universe slowly rips apart, erasing everyone from existence.

Suddenly, Len wakes up and screams on the tops of his lungs “WHAT THE FUKASE, WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A MICROWAVE THAT IS ALSO A CHICKEN THAT KILLS EVERYONE IN THE GOD DAMN UNIVERSE.”

“Len you really need to stop drinking.” Fukase is genuinely concerned for Len.

Chapter Text

“Why, I don’t drink that much.” Len says slurring his words more than an alcoholic.

“Len, you downed a whole 397,000 bottles of vodka.” Fukase says concerned for Len’s health.

“Haha, very funny.” Len says sarcastically.

“I’m not joking, you literally downed 397,000 bottles of vodka.” Fukase says even more concerned about Len and Fukase points at 397,000 empty bottles of vodka.

“Oh, I am sorry.” Len says not realising the severity of his actions.

“You are getting help.” Fukase says as it is final.

“Fine, but you're paying.” Len says trying to stand up but fails as a shooter shoots him through the window and he dies.

…

…

…

“WHY THE FUCK DID I DRINK 397,000 BOTTLES OF VODKA AND WHY DID SOMEONE SHOOT ME THOUGH THE WINDOW.” Len screams at the top of his lungs.

“What the fuck?” Miku says confused.

“What happened?” Len says confused.

“You drank 40 liters of Benzodiazepines.” Miku says to Len.

“How?” Len says still pretty confused.

“The fuck would I know.” Miku says.

“Hey Miku.” Rin says as she walks in.

“Hey Rin.” Len says embarrassedly.

“Hey Len, how are you feeling?” Rin says knowing Len will say that he feels like shit but still wants to ask.

“Like shit.” Len says as he gets a massive headache.

“Figured.” Rin says knowing she was right.

“Where is Fukase?” Len says remembering what he and Fukase did before this whole mess. (Note for readers: they fucked.)

“You know we all know you fucked Fukase right?” Miku says to Len.

“Or rather he fucked you.” Kaito walks in.

“How many people have I fucked.” Len says (Note: his brain isn’t braining).

“Pretty much all of the vocaloids.” Miku says.

“It’s pretty impressive.” Meiko says as she walks in.

“Wait, does that mean I fucked all of you?” Len says super confused.

“Yeah, you did every vocaloid ever.” Meiko says.

“Even the dead ones?” Len says.

“When they were alive, you fucked them.” Fukase says walking in.

“Wow that's…” Len says trailing off at Fukase’s face.

“Maybe, me and Len should go to a private room.” Fukase says knowing that face all too well.

As Fukase pushes Len into a private room they sit on the bed as Len coughs to clear his mouth.

“YOU HAVE FUCKED EVERY SINGLE VOCALOID.” Fuakse shouts directly into Len’s ear.

“No, I have only fucked over 4,000 voice synthesizer.” Len says hoping that helps his case.

“OVER 4,000 VOICE SYNTHESIZER’S, WHAT THE FUCK, HOW THE FUCK, WHY THE FUCK?” Fukase shouts at full volume.

“It isn’t that bad.” Len says not realizing most people haven’t fucked 4,000 people.

“MOST PEOPLE HAVEN’T EVEN FUCKED 10 PEOPLE LEN.” Fukase says, even more angry now.

“Really?” Len says genuinely confused.

“YES SOME PEOPLE DON’T EVER FUCK 1 PERSON.” Fukase says, angry and confused how Len doesn’t know how rare this is.

“Wow, people are weird.” Len says even more confused than before.

“YOUR WEIRD.” Fukase says annoyed at Len.

Chapter Text

“HOW AM I WEIRD?” Len says now very angry.

“BECAUSE, YOU HAVE FUCKED MORE PEOPLE THAN SOME ISLANDS POPULATION.” Fukase says getting even more pissed.

“Wait really?” Len says curious as to if that is true.

“THATS BESIDE THE POINT.” Fukase says getting more annoyed.

“WHO CARES HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE FUCKED.” Len says annoyed at Fukase being rude.

“Fair point.” Fukase says realizing how much of a dick he sounds like.

“See.” Len says “No one cares.”

“It is just … why haven’t you told me?” Fukase says realising that is what he was annoyed at.

“How many people have you fucked?” Len says, trying to make a point.

“None.” Fukase says.

“Really?” Len says shocked like he hasn’t heard about the reader [In which I assume you're a virgin].

“Yeah.” Fukase says thinking the argument was over.

“Wow, imagine not fucking anyone.” Len says, mocking the fact Fukase’s a virgin.

“Fuck you.” Fukase says getting more and more annoyed at Len.

“Or what?” Len says, pushing Fukase’s buttons.

“Or I’ll uh.” Fukase says trying to think of something that won’t make Len laugh.

“Point proven.” Len says as his point is proven.

“How?” Fukase says trying to bore Len out by dragging the "argument" out for too long.

“Because you can’t find a reason.” Len says not knowing where this is going.

“Define: You.” Fukase says trying to annoy Len.

“Acording to wikipedia: ‘You’ is the second-person pronoun. It is grammatically plural, and was historically used only for the dative case.” Len says as he knows every single wikipedia page ever made in the history of history.

“Define: Pain killer.” Fukase says not giving up on annoying Len.

“Acording to wikipedia: An analgesic drug, also called simply an analgesic, antalgic, pain reliever, or painkiller, is any member of the group of drugs used for pain management.”

“Can you give me some examples?” Fukase asks, hoping he will say ibuprofen.

“Well there is, paracetamol and non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) like ibuprofen.” Len says not knowing what Fukase is planning.

“I be profen yeah I bet you be profen all night long huh.” Fukase says smiling.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Len says super confused.

“It means that you jerk off all night long.” Fukase says not knowing how Len doesn’t know that.

“I do not jerk off at night.” Len says trying to hide the fact that he does jerk off every day in the morning (Which means that he isn’t technically lying).

“Yeah you do Len.” Fukase says annoying Len.

“Nuh uh.” Len says.

“The fuck you mean ‘Nuh uh’?” Fukase says annoyed at Len.

“NUH UH.” As Len shouts randomly.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ‘NUH UH’?” Fukase is now shouting even louder.

“NUH UH.” Len says even louder.

“THE FUCK YOU-” Fukase says even louder but is cut off by the universe ripping apart.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YO-” Len says as his stomach gets ripped out of his body and his organs get burned as Len lets out an ear piercing scream and dies in a pool of his blood and his brain get shoot by a sniper.

“I WHAT-” Fukase says super scared as his veins get removed from his body and Fukase lets out an even louder ear piercing scream as his organs are burned inside of him and his voice breaks and his vocal chords snap in two and he dies in a pool of his own blood.

THE END