Chapter Text
The rain had started just after dinner, soft at first, tapping against the windows in a rhythm that almost made Pond forget the fight.
“You’re… you’re always disappearing when things get hard,” Phuwin said, voice tight, chest rising and falling too fast. “I feel like I’m never enough for you.”
Pond’s jaw clenched. “I’m not disappearing. I just… I need space sometimes.”
“Space?!” Phuwin’s laugh was bitter, a little broken. “You call leaving me standing there space? You think walking the out fixes anything? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Pond felt panic coil in his stomach. “I… I didn’t want to say things I’d regret. I just—”
“You just what?!” Phuwin’s voice cracked, stepping closer. “You just fucking leave and expect me not to feel it?!”
Pond’s throat tightened. “I just needed a minute. I didn’t want to fight with you.”
“Fight? Pond, this isn’t about fighting! This is about us. And you… you just leave. Always.”
The air between them was heavy, suffocating, like the walls themselves had shrunk.
Pond’s fingers curled into fists. “I’m not trying to hurt you!” His voice trembled. “I’m trying not to make it worse!”
Phuwin’s lips pressed thin. “Then why the fuck does it feel like you don’t care? That you never care?!”
Something in Pond cracked. His hands dropped. He shook his head, heart hammering. “I do care! I care more than you know! I just… I can’t… I can’t always handle
this. I can’t always—”
“
"You can’t handle me,” Phuwin spat quietly, almost a whisper, but it cut deeper than any shout. “You can’t handle me being with.... me.”
That was it. Pond’s chest tightened. He wanted to scream, to cry, to throw himself at Phuwin and explain, beg, fix it — but the panic curled in his stomach like poison.
He turned.
He walked away.
Phuwin didn't have any more energy to call for Pond, he just hoped that he would come back and resolve things with him, at least he hoped so.
Phuwin sank onto the couch, head in his hands. Tears burned the back of his eyes, but he didn’t chase him. He didn’t know if Pond wanted him to. He just waited, alone in the apartment that suddenly felt empty.
The days after were worse than the fight itself.
They moved around the apartment like ghosts, careful not to bump into each other, careful not to speak more than a few words.
Both of them aware of each others presence yet both choose to ignore it.
One night, after the rain had turned into a steady downpour, Pond sat on the edge of the couch, hunched over, phone clutched in his hands. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard, frozen, afraid.
Across the room, Phuwin leaned against the wall, arms crossed, jaw tight.
The silence was unbearable. Pond finally whispered, voice raw "I didn’t mean… any of it to get this bad.” Pond bringing up the argument.
Phuwin didn’t lift his gaze. “Didn’t mean it? That’s your excuse?” His voice was sharp, but trembling beneath it was something more: fear, regret, heartbreak.
“I just… I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know how to… not hurt you,” Pond admitted.
“You already did,” Phuwin said quietly, almost a whisper, but it cut deep.
“I know,” Pond’s voice cracked. “I tried. I really did.”
Phuwin’s eyes lifted slowly, meeting Pond’s. “Tried? You left. You walked away. You made me think… think you didn’t care at all. Do you have any idea what that felt like?”
“I wanted to stay,” Pond said, trembling.
“If you did want you, you would've stayed, Pond” Phuwin’s laugh was hollow, bitter. “But why did it feel like you were gone the moment I needed you most?”
“Because I thought… I thought you didn’t want me to be there.”
Phuwin’s jaw tightened. “I didn’t want you to leave me standing there. I waited. I stayed. I waited for you.”
“I… I wanted you to follow me. I wanted you to—” Pond stopped, voice catching. “I wanted you to make me stay.”
Phuwin blinked. “You… wanted me to make you stay?”
“Yes,” Pond admitted, raw. “I wanted to know you still cared, that even if I walked away, you’d still be here.”
Phuwin’s lips parted slightly. “I waited… and you still think I didn’t care? I stayed. I stayed for you, Pond.”
Pond’s chest ached. “I thought you didn’t want me. I thought… I thought you were done with me.”
Phuwin’s body shuddered, a quiet broken movement. “I thought you didn’t want me either. That night… I thought it was over.”
Then it hit them, it was a misunderstanding, yet it was one that couldn't be fixed with a sorry. Maybe not be fixed at all.
The rain outside intensified, pounding against the glass like a drum on their hearts. Pond lifted his head, eyes meeting Phuwin’s. They were close, yet a chasm had grown between them, carved by months of fear and miscommunication.
“I would’ve stayed,” Pond whispered.
Phuwin’s shoulders sagged slightly. “But you didn't,” he said softly, almost to himself, “you never would have.”