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“What?”
Taehyung drops his chopsticks, the meat carefully balanced between them slipping only to bounce off Jungkook’s knee. They sit cross-legged facing each other, bare knees just kissing. Taehyung’s long bangs tickle the delicate skin beneath his eyes.
“I said, I’m in love with you, Taehyungie hyung.”
Here’s the thing about Jeon Jungkook: he’s perfect. He’s smart, hilarious, adorable, caring, daring, sensitive…his musical tastes are similar to Taehyung’s. They like the same video games, and though they have completely different styles, they share clothes more often than not. He’s perfect.
Is Taehyung in love with him, also? Most definitely. But is that enough for Taehyung to confess his undying love for his best friend? Of course not.
“Well?” Jungkook blinks expectantly, eyes glittering like flawless diamonds. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
Taehyung blanks.
Jungkook blinks and Taehyung blanks.
Taehyung’s best friend in the whole world, the man he fell in love with all those years ago, just confessed his undying love to him and all he can say is:
“Uh…thanks?”
ᨖ
It’s safe to say that response didn’t go over well. It's been over a week of Jungkook avoiding Taehyung’s calls, texts, emails and any attempt at direct human contact. To everyone around them, family, friends and coworkers, it was just plain odd seeing one of them without the other following closely behind. A whole week of the duo not speaking was unheard of. And people were noticing.
“Can’t you just mind your own business, hyung?” Taehyung whines, practically wilting where he stands in line to pay for groceries with his hyungs.
Yoongi, the eldest (and shortest), rolls his eyes. “If I minded my business, I never would’ve found Park Jimin and you never would’ve found Kook.”
“You were ten, hyung. It’s not that serious.”
Yoongi shrugs. “Well, one of us had to make a leap. We all know it’s never going to be you.”
“Hyung is right.” Namjoon nods along, emptying the contents of their cart onto the conveyor belt. “You are too overly cautious, Taehyung.”
“Was there really a need for all four of us to come food shopping?” Hoseok grumbles, snatching a bag of Takis and dropping it on top of a pile of fruit. “I could’ve been—”
“Watching porn?” Yoongi smirks. “What? We all know you’re not getting any ass in real life.”
Hoseok gawks, jumping to cover Taehyung’s ears. “Not in front of the baby, hyung!”
Shaking his friend off with a laugh, Taehyung opens his wallet. As much as he and Jungkookie eat at their friends’ places, they offer to buy them groceries here and there.
“Okay, can we be serious here for a sec?” Namjoon settles them down, his voice low and expression earnest. “Jungkook said he’s in love with you and you said…”
“Uh…thanks?” Taehyung grimaces, knowing just how horrible that response was. It sounds even worse when he says it out loud.
“You said thanks?” Hoseok’s jaw drops.
“I said: uh…thanks.”
“Oh my God, that’s even worse!” Hoseok looks at the others for validation. “Right? It doesn’t get worse than that.”
Namjoon offers a reassuring shoulder pat to the youngest. “It could be worse, Taehyung.”
“Nah, that’s about as bad as it gets,” Yoongi corrects, pushing the cart for the attendant to fill.
“What that angel of a boyfriend sees in you is beyond me,” Taehyung grumbles. And when Yoongi opens his mouth to speak, Taehyung rushes to add: “and don’t mention the size of your dick!”
“Taehyung!” Namjoon hisses, face red as the people in the line behind them listen in shock.
“Here, take my card. I’ll be in the car.” Taehyung hands Hoseok his card and practically runs out of the store, desperate for fresh air. It’s stifling in there. Everywhere. Everywhere is stifling without his Jungkookie and he doesn’t know how to make this better.
Taehyung has been in love with the younger man forever. The type of love that Shakespeare wrote of. The type of love that is accepting and doesn’t try to change someone. The type of love that is tried and true. The type of love that gives without expectation of receiving something in return. The type of love that is both as easy as breathing yet as difficult as trying to take a breath when all the breath has been stolen from his lungs.
“I don’t get it, Taehyung. You love Jungkook. What’s the problem?” Namjoon asks, appearing out of nowhere and unlocking the car. They both slip into the backseat of Hoseok’s car. “You’re perfect for each other. You’re practically married at this point. The only thing you two don’t do is…well, you know.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Yeah. I know.”
He knows all right and believe him, keeping his hands off Jungkook is probably the biggest accomplishment of his life. Every slight touch, every hug, every shoulder bump or cuddle, every brush of hair off his face or squeeze of sore muscles, was a feat in and of itself. Taehyung can’t even recall how many ice cold showers he’s had to take over the years just because Jungkook walked by without a shirt with his muscles flexing and tattoos on full display. Utter torture.
“Just apologize for being such a dumbass and confess. It’s not that difficult,” Namjoon insists. “It’s not like you have to wonder how he feels.”
“But what if…” Taehyung hesitates, biting his lip. “You know Jungkookie. He gets so excited about things. He goes live gaming one time and the next day he has a whole lighting and mic set up. He’ll spend all the money he has on a new hobby only to drop it a few weeks or months later.”
“Taehyung.”
“Remember when he got a motorcycle? He bought like four leather jackets. Four! And now he doesn’t wear any of them.”
Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “That’s because he wears your leather jacket.”
“And there was that whole section of his sleeve he spontaneously got tattooed then had to pay so much for that artist to cover up.”
“Yeah, and covered it up with both of your birth flowers.”
“And don’t get me started on—”
“Stop!” Yoongi orders, face appearing suddenly in the window, making both men inside jump. “Stop being such a bitch and just tell him you love him and then you guys can finalllllly fuck and we all can live in peace.”
“This isn’t just about fucking, hyung!” Taehyung pouts. His hyungs know it’s not just physical with Jungkookie. They’ve been there for him through all Jungkook’s boyfriends, through all his own failed relationships, no one ever able to live up to the beautiful man who owned Taehyung’s heart. They all know how pure Taehyung’s love for Jungkook is and how deep his pining really went.
And Taehyung is fine with that. He had come to accept over the years that Jungkook would always be his and yet, never be his all at the same time. He’d settled into the truth that all his luck had been spent on just having his best friend part of his life. Asking for more would just be plain greedy.
But that didn’t mean he didn’t want more. That he didn’t dream of not only holding Jungkookie’s hand in public, but also kissing that hand, caressing it and adorning it with glittering silver rings. Didn’t mean that he didn’t fantasize about a life where Jungkookie was his and he was Jungkookie’s.
“I can’t lose him, hyung,” he finally admits, lip bitten raw at this point.
Namjoon frowns. “Why would you lose him? He’s in love with you. And you’re in love with him.”
“I am in love with him,” Taehyung nods, eyes glistening vulnerably. “But what if it doesn’t work out? What if Jungkookie realizes he doesn’t love me like that? I can’t lose him. I can’t.”
“So…you’re not going to tell him you’re in love with him, even though he just told you, because you don’t want to lose him?”
“You both are so dumb!” Yoongi’s deep voice startles them as he pops the trunk open and begins loading the groceries with Hoseok. “Don’t bother trying to convince me you’re not, either. You’re both sickeningly in love and you’re avoiding each other like the plague. Dumb!”
“Hey!” Taehyung pouts, eyes rounding in that puppy dog way his hyungs are so weak for. “Jungkookie is not dumb!”
“Oh, believe me, he is,” Yoongi snorts obnoxiously.
“If Jungkookie is dumb I’m definitely dumber. Dumber? Dumber-er?” Taehyung’s brow furrows as he tries to choose the correct word.
Hoseok shakes his head, rubbing his temples as he plops down behind the steering wheel. “You both are complete idiots.”
ᨖ
“Screw him!” Jin cries out fiercely, causing Jimin’s eyes to widen in shock.
“No, don’t screw him! I mean, well, yes, screw him in that way but don’t screw him, screw him!”
“Who’s screwing screwing who?” Hoseok asks, locking the door behind him before he plops down on the couch beside Jungkook. It’s not unusual to find his friends in his and Jin’s apartment well before he gets home from work.
“Taehyungie!” Jin claims, eyes narrowing. “Our beloved baby confessed and do you know what that asswipe said?”
“Hyung!” Jimin sighs, curling up against the youngest. “Taehyung is our friend, too. Don’t be mean.”
“And he’s not an asswipe.” Jungkook’s voice is lower than usual, softer, vulnerable even. He pulls a throw pillow to his chest and buries his face deep within its fluffiness. “It’s all my fault. I never should’ve confessed. I ruined everything.”
Hoseok and Jimin share a look heavy with unspoken words. The younger of the two blinks hard at him, practically ordering Hoseok to say something.
“Ahem,” he begins awkwardly. How does he always end up in the middle of everyone’s drama? “You’re right, Taehyung is not an asswipe. But you’re also wrong. Nothing is your fault and you didn’t ruin anything.”
Jungkook pouts cutely and Jin has to hold himself back from booping their maknae on his nose.
“Then why is hyungie avoiding me?”
“Sweetheart, I’m pretty sure you’re the one avoiding Tae,” Jimin says softly, tucking an unruly curl behind Jungkook’s ear.
Jungkook groans. “Of course I’m avoiding him. I poured my heart out to him, my best friend in the whole world, and all he did was thank me. What does that even mean?”
Jin shrugs unhelpfully so Hoseok leans forward, ever the voice of reason. “He was probably just shocked. You’ve been best friends forever. I’m sure he just didn’t expect you to have those feelings for him or to actually say them out loud.”
“It can’t be that shocking, hyung!” Jungkook rolls onto his back, legs outstretched on Jimin’s lap as he wallows in self pity. “I’m so obvious. We share food and clothes and everyone knows I don’t do that with anyone else. Hell, I let him use my toothbrush the other night when he dropped his in the toilet. Do you know how hard it was for me not to make out with the damn thing? God! All I want to do is kiss him and touch him—”
“Maybe you shouldn’t finish that sentence,” Jin grimaces but Jungkook is in a world of his own.
“He always smells so good. And warm, he’s always so warm. We sleep over each other’s places so much I can’t even sleep alone anymore. And ugh! He’s such a cuddler when he’s asleep. And he pouts when he dreams. I almost kissed him the other night because he looked so precious. And hot. So fucking hot wearing just my gym shorts. The things I want to do to him and all he can say to me is ‘uh…thanks.’ I’m such a fool.”
Wrapping his arms around his dongsaeng, Jimin litters the top of Jungkook’s head with small kisses. “You’re not a fool, at least not in the way you think you are. You’re in love and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for being in love. Taehyung is amazing and he’s lucky to have your heart. Hoseok hyung is probably right. Taehyung was just in shock.”
“Yeah, in shock because his friend who he probably looks at like a brother told him he was so in love with that he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think without Taehyungie hyung’s face popping into his mind. I sounded like such a stalker, like some infatuated kid. Ughhh, I suck!!”
“Instead of whining you could just call him and ask to meet, actually have a conversation,” Jin suggests rationally, earning a glare from Jungkook.
“There’s no way I’m talking to him ever again. You know what? I might just stay here til it’s my time to leave this earth. You wouldn’t mind, would you, hyung?”
Hoseok shrugs. “You’re already here all the time.”
“Okay, enough of this nonsense. Let’s go.” Jin jumps up and wrangles Jungkook to his feet. “We’re going to straighten things out once and for all.”
“Noooo, leave me to my couch!”
“That’s my couch, Kook,” the eldest corrects. “Now suck it up and let’s go.”
“No and you can’t make me!”
“Don’t be dumb! Get up you big baby, wallowing is so pointless.” Jin yaks at him again, successfully moving Jungkook closer toward the door.
“If I’m dumb then Tae hyungie is dumber-er.” Jungkook pauses, brow furrowing. “Dumber-er? I don’t think that’s a word.”
Hoseok shakes his head, rubbing his temples. “You both are complete idiots.”
ᨖ
Taehyung stands in the middle of Namjoon’s apartment stiff as a board, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. He thought his hyung just needed help moving furniture. He should’ve known better.
“Now, talk.” Jin orders, forcibly moving Jungkook closer to Taehyung. “We’ll be at the coffee shop on the corner. Do not come out until you’ve settled things.”
“Yes, hyung.”
“Yes, hyung.”
The two blush awkwardly as all five of their friends topple out of the apartment, leaving them alone.
Taehyung gulps. He’s older, he has to say something. He can’t let Jungkook keep believing he’s been rejected. “I’m sorry, Kookie, I’m such an idiot.”
“No! I’m the idiot,” Jungkook insists adamantly. “I should’ve kept my mouth shut and never put you in that position. You’re my best friend, hyung. And, yeah, sure, I love you. Like…a lot. Like, so much it hurts to breathe. You’re all I think about and I miss you the second you leave the room. Shit, hyung, I missed you so much this week, I’m so sorry. Just…just forget I said anything, okay? We can just go back to how things were. They were perfect. Okay? Promise me you’ll forget it.”
Taking shakes his head slowly. “I can’t promise that, Kookie.”
“Why not?” The younger man whines petulantly. “I promise I won’t make it weird. I won’t hit on you or stare too long or try to kiss y—”
Jungkook falls silent when Taehyung steps forward, forcing his back against the wall. His shoulder blade digs into a frame that he knows displays a picture of the seven of them. It’s always been the seven of them. He can’t let that get ruined because he couldn’t control himself.
“What if I want you to?”
“Huh?” Jungkook gulps. Taehyung is so close that Jungkook can smell his cologne. God, how he yearns to feel his hyung’s lips on his own.
Taehyung studies his face before opening his mouth, his voice smooth as silk and dripping golden honey that sends chills up and down Jungkook’s spine. “What if I want you to make it weird? What if I want you to hit on me… and kiss me?”
“But…wh-why would you want that?”
The older’s eyes smolder as he peers into Jungkook’s eyes, the younger clearly trembling, riddled with anxiety and doubt.
“Because, Jungkookie.” Taehyung leans forward the tiniest bit, lips brushing Jungkook’s cheek like a sweet breeze sifting through the air. Their foreheads touch, their mouths dangerously close. Taehyung’s eyes both darken and soften and all Jungkook can see is his own reflection in them. “Because I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, Kookie. I’m so in love with you, like, stupidly in love.”
Jungkook blinks in utter shock. “You are? But then…why didn’t you just tell me? All you said was ‘thanks!’”
“Did you hear the part where I said stupidly in love?”
The younger man breathes out a laugh, a small smile tugging at his lips. Could this really be true? Could his hyung really reciprocate his feelings?
“Jungkookie?”
“Hm?”
Everything Taehyung has ever wanted is right there in front of him, between his chest and the wall, his whole world. He searches Jungkook’s eyes, huge glittering orbs that hold his entire heart and hopefully his entire future.
“I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
Their lips meet and it’s both the softest and neediest of kisses to ever exist. Jungkook breathes Taehyung in and Taehyung claims Jungkook’s mouth as his own, his tongue exploding and his hands roaming along Jungkook’s sides.
And Jungkook is no better. He’s been pining after this man for far longer than he cares to admit and to be in Taehyung’s arms right now, kissing, caressing…it’s almost too much.
When they finally come up for air, Taehyung opens his eyes, forehead resting against Jungkook’s, arms firmly locked around the man he’s wild about.
“I said I love you,” he whispers, heart still pounding. “Don’t you have anything to say?”
Jungkook’s lips stretch into the sweetest smile, eyes brimming with mirth and…sarcasm. He leans up to press another kiss to Taehyung’s mouth, melting into his warmth all over again. But he can’t help himself. Because he may be in love with Taehyung but they’ll always be best friends first. And as his best friend, Jungkook smirks up at him smugly. “Uh…thanks?”
“You brat!” Taehyung lunges after Jungkook who darts under his arm and toward the front door.
“Last one to the cafe treats everyone!” Jungkook shouts over his shoulder, flashing a smile so brilliant Taehyung can barely breathe. He runs after Jungkook, curbing his own speed because seeing Jungkook’s victorious grin at beating him in the race makes losing so worth it. Especially when he knows he’s already won.
Just as Jungkook’s hand wraps around the cafe door handle, Taehyung snags him around the waist, twirling around until he cages his best friend between his arms against the building's facade.
“I love you, Jungkookie.”
Jungkook’s sparkling eyes shimmer even more brightly. He kisses Taehyung deeply, gazing into his eyes as he murmurs:
“Uh…thanks.”
Taehyung groans, dragging his feet as he lets Jungkook yank him into the cage where their friends await their much anticipated arrival.
“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”
And there’s that million dollar smile that makes Taehyung fall in love all over again. Booping his nose, Jungkook bites his lip with a giggle.
“Not in a million years, hyungie.”
ᨖ