Work Text:
Shoko didn’t appreciate Gojo dating a curse at first, but not like anyone could do anything about it regardless. She eventually warmed up a bit to Jogo due to an incident where she didn’t have a lighter and used Jogo’s weird nozzles like a matchstick box.
She was the most relaxed one, a few people sometimes even tried their luck to exorcise Jogo at first, eventually people got barely accustomed to him. And then it was announced he was pregnant when he was nine months in.
1. Why didn’t Gojo say anything until it was almost done
2. Why
3. HOW THE FUCK
And now here they are, at
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—“
“Uhm so, how did we get here?” Mahito looked over at Hanami who was keeping Jogo’s legs apart. Hanami didn’t even entertain them with a response.
“Honestly, I just thought all the kfc was making him fat. Likeee, we were here because he got a heart attack...” Haruta openly admitted, looking a bit bashful yet mostly shameless.
“If he got as fat as someone is at nine months only with the kfc, he would have a lot of fat in surrounding areas too, it doesn’t accumulate all in one place.” Shoko explained, trying to light her cigarette with a lighter she snagged.
Haruta’s head looked upwards at her, eyes sparkling with a new fact. It was most definitely going to go out the other ear in approximately two minutes.
“…Was that outfit necessary?” Shoko questioned, looking over Kenjaku in the nurse outfit, it wasn’t even accurate, it looked like those slutty ones from the costume store.
“No, but it’s not like anybody’s complaining.” Kenjaku said, looking over at Shoko from the corner of his eye, one of his legs and by extension, his heel, propped up onto a table, a full syringe being spun in a free hand.
Dagon gurgled something to reply, not that anybody knew what he was saying. The loud screams filtering as just background noise by now.
“Wha?” Haruta said, confused by the noises. “You knowww… when you said you wanted me to watch something cool, I didn’t think it was Jogo giving birth.”
“So. Is it not entertaining enough? I could always call Yuji over so he’ll come in and then try to kill Mahito.” Kenjaku spoke, dropping the syringe then not even going to retrieve it as it stabs Mahito in the eye.
“Oops!” Mahito yanked the syringe out from his eye, pupil convulsing.
Shoko fiddled with her cigarette in between her lips, looking over at Nanami who has been awkwardly standing in the corner in silence for a long time.
“How do you feel about taking a shot each time Mahito gets hurt throughout this?”
“I’m not interested in your alcohol right now.” Nanami said, only giving her a glance in return.
“Unfortunate.” She sighed lowly.
“Hey, Nanamin?” Haruta piped up, looking as if he had something to say “Can we do this ne-“
“Kill yourself.”
Dagon jumped and tears began in his eyes when a loud bang sounded through the room. Jogo, in all his pain, punched Mahito straight six feet into and through the hospital floor.
“Haha, c’mon he wasn’t that annoying!” Gojo argued, holding Jogo’s hand firmly as he sat behind him.
Jogo was biting his lower lip so hard it was bleeding an unreasonable amount.
Frankly, everyone here was lucky Jogo was too exhausted from the childbirth, as at the same time it would probably make him unable to control energy output and blow the room up.
Tears running from his fiercely shut eye as he tried to breathe properly. “OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUC-“ More contractions fortunately stopped him.
“Oh thank god!” Haruta squealed, Nanami glaring at him because of that.
“He’s in labour and all you are concerned about is that he’s at least not swearing?” Shoko questions, not even judgementally, just curious.
“.won yb thguoht tsol evah moor siht ni elpoep tsom kniht I” Hanami communicated, her tone understanding.
“Guys I think Jogo just shit himself” Mahito exclaimed, bits of concrete still on top of his lap as his sits up in his crater, dust coming over his now messy hair.
“…otihaM ,ybab eht s’tahT” Hanami looked disappointed at Mahito’s infancy.
“Whoopsie daisy!”
“Who says that, unironically?” Kenjaku judges, a smug smirk on his face as he says so, one leg crossed over the other one as he now sits on a table.
Jogo reaches for Gojo’s hands to hold, and almost rips his entire arms off if it wasn’t for infinity slowing his movements indefinitely.
As the thing pops out from Jogo’s weird volcano head like a piece of toast in a toaster, definitely not looking like a miracle as it’s covered in numerous fluids, including blood all over, it’s also it’s skin is a disgusting red as it cries pathetically.
“Ooh, can I eat it?” Mahito asks, raising a hand enthusiastically.
“Why don’t you just go eat a random infant instead? I’m interested in how this experiment of a very powerful half curse half sorcerer will go, it’ll be powerful as well. He’s still got another one to go anyways even if the first is useless.” Kenjaku said, almost sounding like a mad scientist, he just didn’t do the manic laugh.
“.sruoy t’nera yeht ,stnemirepxe seibab eseht gnillac tiuQ” Hanami spoke simply, reprimanding Kenjaku gently.
“Speaking from experience?” Mahito teased at Kenjaku, taking a lucky guess from seeing his expression.
Nanami pinched the bridge of his now, exhausted, and he wasn’t even the one giving birth.
Okay, Jogo genuinely sounded like he was practically shitting himself at this point, crying, not even realising he’s crying, and ready to throw hands with even the wall if he felt like it, frustrated.
“I’M GOING TO CUT YOUR FUCKING DICK OFF ONCE WE’RE DONE SO THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN YOU FUCKING-“
As Jogo explained how he would castrate Gojo, Gojo proceeded to zone the hell out, opening up his phone to order twenty three cheese pizzas from hooters.
Jogo yanked Mahito by the pigtails as Jogo spoke some….. unpleasant words, the ones he had overheard in his lifetime.
He bit down on Mahito’s hand as he shook like an insane person, he handled the first one pretty decent but he felt like he was fucking fighting Sukuna in his womb by the second one.
“?nwod mih depparts I fi retteb eb ti dluoW” Hanami asked sweetly, concerned for her friend as Jogo arched his back like a possessed demon from the pain.
“Nah, relatable behaviour when I’m hungry.” Gojo said, excitedly.
“…You roll around, scream and bite people when hungry…?” Haruta asked, tilting his head to the side like a puppy.
“Yep! Right on the money, blondie!” Gojo winked.
Everybody, especially Nanami’s ears were then cursed with the noise of the dress to impress lobby music at fucking maximum volume.
“Haruta, what the fuck? And turn the brightness down I can’t see ass, dummy!” Mahito whined, sticking his purplish tongue out at him, kicking his feet back and forth.
Haruta blinked dumbly, taking the information in. “My mommy said I’m smart!” Haruta argued weakly, very pathetic even.
“Your mother has the attentiveness of a toilet brush.” Kenjaku replied matter-of-factly, drinking out from a mysterious cup he randomly picked up off the emergency table, …full of some bright green fluids with disgusting chunks.
“Is that my pizza?” Gojo asked at the sound of running footsteps outside and down the hall.
The door suddenly slammed opened without even a warning, Yuji was panting heavily and looked panicked. “GOJO-SENSEI! I heard you were at the hospital, what is-“ Then he sees Mahito.
“Sigh.” Kenjaku says lightly, as if Yuji was irrelevant.
“Oops…?” Mahito exclaims, getting on top of a table and trying to escape through the window and outside.
“MAHITTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—“
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—“
