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Galen was having a nightmare.
Piper knew it, could feel it even before he’d managed to drag himself from sleep. He had instinctively tightened his hand around the other man’s as Galen had started to draw away without even realising. He held fast now, unwilling to let go, no matter the danger it was likely to put him in. Perhaps it was selfish, but he would rather weather that storm as it came than watch, again, as Galen suffered alone. The paladin had gone stiff, every muscle locked as his mind trapped him in terrible memories, but his leg was still hooked around Piper’s own. He couldn’t have moved away even if he’d wanted to.
“Shh, love,” he murmured, brushing his fingers over Galen’s knuckles gently. The backs of Galen’s hands were soft, small scars leaving ridges on his skin. Piper traced them all. He whispered gentle nonsense as he did so, keeping his voice low.
It had been a surprise to both of them that they’d found sharing a bed so comfortable outside of sex. They both made odd hours, and simply rolled over to reach for the other when they slipped between the sheets hours after one of them had gone to bed. Neither of them had planned for it, but it had happened by accident enough times that they decided to try it out intentionally. It worked, somehow, and that was enough. Both of them found solace in waking beside another person, even with the nightmares.
The first time Galen had had a nightmare while sharing a bed with Piper, he’d disappeared for a week. Piper had to practically bang down his door at the Rat’s temple to get the paladin to even speak to him. Only Stephen and Marcus had been there at the time, and Stephen had gently tried to ward him off, to let Galen alone. Piper had, as respectfully as he could, told the man to fuck off. That had been what had finally drawn Galen out, looking gaunt and guilty the way only a paladin could. Piper had simply wrapped his arms around him and told him not to do that again.
The second time had been at the temple a month later. They hadn’t even done anything, they never did at the temple, but Piper had been visiting Beartongue and it was near to midnight when he’d left her office and decided he didn’t really want to walk all the way across the city when there was a perfectly good bed he could share right there. Galen had been so happy at the idea, and so utterly wrecked by it only a few hours later. Piper had slid out of the bed and sat, carefully watching the man he loved suffer only a few metres away, until it had passed. Istvhan had poked his head in when the fit had started, drawn in by Galen’s screams. He had seen Piper in the room, nodded once, and let him be. When Galen had woken up and found Piper holding vigil over him, he had confessed that he’d started having nightmares more frequently since their ‘expedition’. Piper had seen the anguish in those jade-green eyes, knowing how grateful Galen had been to be experiencing night terrors less often prior to that.
The third time had been after their wedding. Galen hadn’t had a nightmare in months, not since he’d moved into Piper’s apartments. He had just returned from a few days away assisting the Dreaming God’s people with a demon infestation alongside Marcus and time outside the city always did him good. Piper had been late returning from work that night, and had unlocked the door in time to hear Galen’s cries. It had broken his heart a little to hear them. Galen had dozed off on the couch waiting for him, head propped up with pillows, and hadn’t meant to fall so deeply asleep. Piper had put the kettle on the stove and found a blanket which he’d draped over his husband before perching on the arm of the couch. He had waited until it seemed like the dream was quieting before carefully brushing hair off Galen’s forehead. Those jade-green eyes had fluttered open when he’d kissed the paladin’s temple, weariness and sorrow deep in them. Piper had gently guided him to the bed and held him close for the rest of the night.
“Not him, not… no, no!” Galen’s hand tightened almost painfully around Piper’s. “Piper, Piper,” Galen moaned, face screwed up with mental anguish. Piper gently reached up with his free hand and then stopped. His fingers hovered over his paladin’s brow, wanting to touch, to smooth that crease, to soothe the dreams, but the memory of the one time he had touched Galen during a fit was enough to give him pause.
“Fuck it,” he whispered to himself, and brushed a thumb over that furrowed brow. Beneath his fingers, Galen’s forehead was clammy with sweat and Piper could feel the tense muscles beneath. Doing nothing more than running his thumb softly over Galen’s skin, he rested his palm on Galen’s cheek as gently as he could. A moment later, some of the tension left his husband’s face. Agonisingly slowly, the rest of Galen’s body started to relax. Piper didn’t stop his small, soothing movements, even when Galen opened his eyes. They were unfocused, confused, and it hurt Piper’s heart to see the lingering agony in them, until all of that was replaced with no small amount of surprise.
“Hi, love,” Piper said softly.
Galen looked down and stared at his hand clutching Piper’s, his eyes widening.
“I could have hurt you,” he said. His voice was husky with sleep.
“Very possibly, but you didn’t,” Piper replied simply. “Perhaps—and this isn’t a theory I would like to test often though I suppose that’s rather outside of our control—that if you are already in contact with someone when a nightmare begins, you don’t feel the need to protect yourself from them instinctively.” Galen was quiet for a moment, and Piper could almost hear the thoughts ticking over in his mind.
“I don’t want to hurt you, even by accident.” His voice was quiet, sounding younger in his confession, and Piper pulled their clasped hands up so he could kiss Galen’s knuckles.
“You haven’t, you won’t. I trust you,”
“I—” Galen started to speak and Piper could guess where that sentence was going to go, and shifted on the mattress, pushing himself up to kiss Galen and cut him off.
“No, we’ve been down this road before. Besides, if you do manage to hurt me you get to say ‘I told you so’ and we’ll never do it again. Deal?”
Galen blinked at him. Piper held his gaze. He wanted this to work, he wanted to help, to hold the man he loved as he fought through whatever terrible things his mind decided to conjure up at night. He wanted to be the rock in the storm, the safe harbour Galen always came home to. He had told him about Hallowbind, before they were married, in halting words. He hadn’t looked at Piper once the entire time, and Piper had wondered, after all the words had been said, how anyone could look at the paladins and not see just how much love and care they deserved.
Piper had simply taken Galen’s hands and told him he loved him, reminded him that it wasn’t his fault, and decided that he would keep reminding him for the rest of their lives.
“What did I do to deserve you?” The paladin asked, softening. Piper gave a wry chuckle and brushed his thumb across Galen’s cheek.
“Be handsome, and heroic, and damn good looking,” he said, and kissed him again.
~~~~~
The nightmares still came, sometimes more frequently than others, but Galen never did get to tell Piper ‘I told you so.’