Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Lighten up!”

Seokmin is laughing when he calls out the words, sunlight glinting against his white teeth and copper hair. Even from over seventy-two feet away, Jeonghan can see the sparkle of mischief in his tennis partner’s eyes.

Lighten up . It’s entirely too early in the morning for the sun to be shining so brightly and for Seokmin to be this damn cheerful. Jeonghan counts Seokmin lucky that there's an entire tennis court separating them, protecting Seokmin from his rage-fueled power serve.

Jeonghan reaches into his pocket for another fuzzy neon ball and tosses it high in the air for his second serve. Even Seokmin seems to notice that Jeonghan is in no joking mood. He jogs backwards several feet farther behind the baseline and braces himself for Jeonghan's serve.  

There's a satisfying pop as the ball hits Jeonghan's racket before it bullets straight into the corner of Seokmin’s service box. It ricochets against the porous red clay and drives Seokmin all the way into the corner of his court. His body twists, contorts to reach the ball with a forehand, which he whips back to Jeonghan’s side of the court.

It's almost like Jeonghan's watching in slow motion as the ball floats up to the sky in a graceful parabola. On its way down, Jeonghan smashes the ball with his racket, but instead of that pop against its sweet spot, there's a dull impact against the frame of his racket that sends the ball straight into the net. He hates that feeling, that jarring vibration as his wrist absorbs all the shock. The tendons in his shoulder ache in complaint, so he rotates the joint and massages the muscles there to alleviate the pain.

Seokmin is already pulling another tennis ball out of his pocket.

“Forty-thirty, game point!” he announces brightly as he tosses the ball high up above his head, letting it soar from his fingertips.

He brings his racket down with a sharp snap of his wrist. The ball zooms past too quickly for Jeonghan to tell if it was even in the boundary or not. But he’s given up already.

“Nice ace,” Jeonghan says, clapping his racket above his head.

Seokmin’s cheerful expression falters. “Are you sure? That looked like it might have been out to me.”

If there’s anything that dampens Seokmin’s relentless positivity, it’s getting a point that wasn’t won fair and square. Especially if he feels like his opponent—Jeonghan in particular—let him win on purpose.

“It was good,” Jeonghan says airily. “And I think that’s the set, so let's call it quits, alright?"

"But nobody else is here yet! We can still squeeze in another couple of games and make it a pro set!" Seokmin insists.

“I'm getting tired, and we have a whole day at the amusement park in front of us. Besides, we're not wearing proper shoes.”

Mindful of Jeonghan's stamina, Seokmin stoops over to pick up wayward tennis balls scattered across the court as Jeonghan lounges on the bleachers. He collects all the balls and stacks them in a pyramid on the face of his racket.

“Hey, hyung! Look at me!” Seokmin says, balancing his racket on his head.

“You're going to make an even bigger mess,” Jeonghan replies lazily.

“Did you idiots really come here early to practice on our week off?” a voice calls out from the parking lot.

It's Seungcheol, the captain of their tennis team. He's brought a handful of younger players with him in the backseat of his black SUV.

Seokmin turns towards his captain, and the sudden jerk topples the racket from his head, sending a cascade of neon balls bouncing across the court. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Jeonghan sighing in exasperation.

“Need a hand?” Seungkwan asks, leaping out of Seungcheol’s car. Hansol and Chan follow, landing on the pavement one after another.

“Yes please,” Seokmin says as he scrambles to collect the rogue tennis balls.

While they stow the balls and tennis rackets in the team shed, Seungcheol slides onto the bench next to Jeonghan.

“How long have you guys been here?” he asks, gesturing towards the courts.

“Mmmm….since seven?” Jeonghan yawns. “Seokmin wanted to play a bit before we left since the bus is picking us up from the school anyways.”

Seungcheol frowns in concern. “Is your shoulder okay? There's a reason our coach gave us these past few days off. We all need some time to rest and recover before the big tournament.”

You especially are the words that remain unspoken, but Jeonghan steadfastly ignores Seungcheol's subtext. It's not like he can tell anyone, least of all Seungcheol, that he agreed to meet up early with Seokmin because it's been a whole week since they've seen each other at practice. Jeonghan rarely ever crosses paths with Seokmin at school, so just maybe, Jeonghan misses him a little bit.

“I'll be fine,” Jeonghan says curtly. He adds, “I'm playing in the tournament no matter what. It's the last time Seokmin and I get to play together as doubles partners.”

“It might be the last match you play, ever, if you don't let your injury heal properly,” Seungcheol points out, casting a doubtful glance at Jeonghan's shoulder.

“It's not an injury ,” Jeonghan says. Before he can explain the details of his shoulder’s condition, Jeonghan feels a sharp chin jutting into his scalp.

“Time to go, hyung!” Seokmin announces brightly, shaking Jeonghan by the shoulders from behind him. “Everyone's getting on the bus now!”

Standing at the back of the line queued up along the side of the bus, Jeonghan makes a quick headcount of his teammates shuffling groggily into the vehicle. There are the starting singles players: Seungcheol, Mingyu, Jihoon, and Soonyoung. And then the starting doubles partners: Junhui and Minghao, Hansol and Seungkwan, and Seokmin and Jeonghan himself. The reserve players Wonwoo, Jisoo, and Chan are also on the bus.

Thankfully, the coach managed to book a small, but relatively luxurious coach bus for their transport to the amusement park. Deliciously cold air pumps through the vents above their heads and below their feet. Not so thankfully, there is only one pair of open seats left by the time Jeonghan strolls down the aisle. Which means that he has no choice but to sit with Seokmin.

All hopes of having a restful bus ride vanish immediately when Seokmin literally bounces into the seat next to his. Seokmin's energy is infectious in a good way when they're on the court together, keeping Jeonghan's morale high when he's starting to feel sluggish. But in other settings, like team beach days or amusement park trips, Jeonghan finds Seokmin's boundless energy vaguely exhausting at best, and a nuisance at worst.

“I want the window seat!” Seokmin exclaims, stretching his neck to peer through the glass.

“I was here first,” Jeonghan tells him calmly. What is he, a child?

“I'll play you for it! Rock paper scissors,” Seokmin insists.

Jeonghan relents and offers his fist, bouncing it three times in his palm and keeping it curled as a rock. Seokmin frowns at his own scissors and asks hopefully, “Best two out of three?”

Again, Jeonghan beats him—scissors to paper this time—but he lets Seokmin have the window seat anyways out of the goodness of his heart. Jeonghan usually isn’t this indulgent towards his mildly annoying younger teammate, but lately he’s been in the mood to spoil Seokmin a bit. Maybe it’s because Jeonghan’s days in high school are dwindling, which means that soon he and Seokmin won’t be teammates any longer.

Nostalgia , Jeonghan tells himself. That’s all there is.

“Name tags,” Seungcheol announces, leaning over his seat to hand Jeonghan a permanent marker and a stack of blank stickers with Hello my name is _______ printed on them.

“What are these for?” Jeonghan asks.

“The last time we came to this theme park, there were apparently complaints about some of our teammates.” Seungcheol doesn’t mention any names, but he gives Seokmin a pointed look, receiving a sheepish grin in response. “So take a name tag and pass it along, and make sure you’re on your best behavior because everyone will know who you are this time.”

“Not if I conceal my true identity,” Seokmin whispers conspiratorially so that only Jeonghan can hear. He fills in the blank space on his name tag with “ Donkey Kong ” and says, “There! Nobody will know who I am now. You should hide your real identity too.”

“What should I write for my name?” Jeonghan asks, just to humor Seokmin.

“I don’t know, some generic name.”

Jeonghan caps the lid on the black Sharpie and passes it to Jisoo, who's sitting with Jihoon across the aisle from them, and then peels the sticker off its backing. Jeonghan sticks his name tag to his chest, which now says “ Hello my name is Generic Name .”

“Donkey Kong and Generic Name,” Jisoo says, leaning across the aisle to read their name tags. “You guys sound like the worst superhero duo ever.”

Seokmin beams and puffs out his chest. “I like that. Donkey Kong and his sidekick Generic Name. Don't you like that too, hyung?”

Jeonghan receives a series of rapid pokes in the side when he doesn't give an immediate response. He finally nods in agreement just to make Seokmin leave him alone. Jeonghan is sure by now that it's going to be a long bus ride.

By some miracle, Seokmin somehow dozes off within a few minutes, sparing Jeonghan from the task of keeping him entertained. Seokmin's head lolls forward, then back, drifting to one side and then landing eventually on Jeonghan's shoulder.

Jeonghan looks around surreptitiously, but everyone is too absorbed in their own conversations or naps to be paying them any attention. So Jeonghan does something he's always secretly wanted to do before—he turns his head slightly to bury his nose in Seokmin's hair, inhaling discreetly.

Seokmin's sunshine-and-chlorine bleached hair is surprisingly soft, and it smells clean and fresh like laundry left to dry in the sun. Jeonghan feels immediately ashamed, and he lets his gaze drop to Seokmin's lap. An immediate mistake. The hem of Seokmin's lemon yellow board shorts is hiked up to mid-thigh, revealing an unfortunate tan line, and just above it, a tantalizing expanse of pale, but muscular thigh.

Jeonghan bites his lip involuntarily and reminds himself that this is Seokmin he's looking at. The same Seokmin who thought that Jeonghan was the team manager and not a player because of his shoulder length hair.

That episode happened the first day of practice when Jeonghan was a sophomore and Seokmin was a freshman. So much has changed since then. They've become not only teammates, but also doubles partners. An unlikely, but unexpectedly powerful pairing. And though he rarely lets it show, Jeonghan has reluctantly developed a soft spot for Seokmin.

Throughout the ride Jeonghan is hyperaware of Seokmin's proximity, the gentle rise and fall of his chest in sleep and the solid warmth of his body in close contact with Jeonghan's. To his irritation, it distracts Jeonghan from his goal for the bus trip, which was to catch up on an hour or two of sleep.

Seokmin naps blissfully for the rest of the way there, which confirms what Jeonghan has suspected his entire life—that idiots get the most peaceful sleep.

The sun is glaring down ruthlessly from directly above their heads by the time they stumble out of the bus onto the parking lot pavement, the black tarmac radiating heat from below. There’s no breeze, making the hot, stagnant air stale and thick.

“Is everyone wearing sunscreen?” Seungcheol asks, addressing his team in the most upbeat voice he can muster given the stifling heat.

There are a few murmurs and groans in confirmation, and Jeonghan does another quick headcount before they drag their feet to the park entrance. Seungcheol waits in line to purchase tickets for everyone using the funds from their team bake sale, while the rest of the boys loiter in the skimpy shade of a scraggly grove of trees.

For once, Seokmin isn’t overflowing with energy. He’s still half-asleep with a blank face and a vacant stare as he clutches onto his neon green drawstring backpack. It’s the most placid and serious Jeonghan has ever seen him, and for once he can properly appreciate Seokmin’s sharp cheekbones and shapely lips.

“Do you know what kind of trees these are?” Mingyu asks nobody in particular. A few boys turn their heads towards Mingyu half-heartedly, but most of them ignore him.

“What kind, Mingyu-ah?” Jeonghan asks with polite interest when nobody else responds.

Mingyu beams, seizing the chance to demonstrate his horticultural knowledge. “They’re white oak trees, you can tell by the shape of their leaves and the ridges in the bark.”

“Wow, that’s very….interesting, Mingyu,” Jeonghan responds.

“Do you know what kind of birds those are?” Seokmin asks suddenly, pointing at a flock of birds nearby. The illusion of calm has vanished, and his bubbly energy has returned now that he’s regained his alertness.

“Aren’t those just pigeons?” Mingyu asks.

“Yes, you can tell by how they go like this.”

Seokmin bobs his head and flaps his arms in what Jeonghan guesses is supposed to be an imitation of a pigeon. Mingyu laughs and claps his hands in amusement. The other boys start to perk up, and the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth curl up in a smile. He can always count on Seokmin to raise everyone’s spirits.

“Are you wearing a fanny pack ?” Seokmin asks him incredulously, ogling the canvas pouch slung low around Jeonghan’s hips.

The grin slides off Jeonghan’s face. “Yeah, so what?”

“You look like a dad,” Seokmin teases him. “And not the cool kind.”

“I might not look cool, but I am prepared . I have everything I might need in here. I bet you didn’t even bring sunscreen in your bag.”

“I put on sunscreen before I got here,” Seokmin says smugly.

“Well, do you have a first aid kit? Water bottle? Rain poncho? Change of clothes?”

“Um, no.”

“Then what do you even have in that bag?” Jeonghan asks, already fearing Seokmin’s answer. “Please tell me you at least brought your wallet.”

“Of course!” Seokmin says, looking affronted.

“And what else?”

“I brought snacks.”

Seokmin doesn’t list anything else, so Jeonghan says, “Is that it? Just snacks?”

“It’s so hot,” Seokmin says, trying to change the topic with a desultory remark. He fans himself with his hands.

“Don’t worry, Seungcheol will be back soon with the tickets. It’ll be better once we’re inside the park,” Jeonghan assures him.

Seokmin steps closer to Jeonghan and then leans into him to press his cheek against his shoulder. It’s dangerous, Seokmin’s proximity to Jeonghan and the lure of his touch, but Jeonghan is too surprised to push him away.

“Ahh, nice and cold,” Seokmin murmurs with a happy sigh, smoothing his palms over Jeonghan’s heart.  

Seungcheol soon returns with a stack of tickets in his hand, which he distributes to his eager teammates after a quick speech reminding them to behave well. They file quickly through the park entrance, but Seokmin is held back by security.

They inspect Seokmin’s bulging backpack, emptying it of its contents. Out spills a crinkly bag of shrimp crackers, tiny cups of fruity gelatin, the kind of cookies with animals printed on them that Jeonghan recognizes as his sister’s favorite, cheese-dusted potato chips, a half-empty bottle of soda, and more tangerines than anyone should ever eat in one sitting. The bottle of soda is confiscated by the security guards, and then Seokmin sheepishly stuffs his snacks back into his bag as Jeonghan watches with bemusement.

“Did you bring all those snacks to share with everyone?” Jeonghan asks, genuinely bewildered by the sheer volume of snacks in Seokmin’s bag.

“Um, no. They're all for me.”

“I see….Well, let's get going then.”

Jeonghan looks around, but Seungcheol and Jisoo, his closest friends on the team, have already disappeared. He’s left with only a handful of his younger teammates, including Seokmin.

“Does anybody want to ride roller coasters with me?” Jeonghan asks loudly, hoping that Seungkwan, or even Chan will answer. “It’s no fun to go on my own.”

“I will!” Seokmin volunteers without hesitation.

“Anybody else?” Jeonghan asks, fully aware that if he isn’t careful, this might turn into something unsavory, like an entire day at a theme park with only Seokmin as company.

“Sorry hyung, Seungkwan and I are going to meet Hansol at the arcade,” Chan apologizes, already heading off in the opposite direction with Seungkwan.

“But….you’re my baby!” Jeonghan protests. “Come back!”

“Have fun on the roller coasters, Jeonghan-hyung and Seokmin-hyung!” Seungkwan calls back to them. “Don’t die!”

“Looks like it's just you and me now!” Seokmin says cheerfully, beaming at Jeonghan.

He returns an obligatory smile back at Seokmin in response, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes and comes out looking more like a grimace.

Seokmin loops his arm through Jeonghan’s elbow and asks, “Where to first?”

“I was thinking Storm Runner for starters,” Jeonghan says. “It’s a good ride to get warmed up.”

Seokmin happily follows Jeonghan’s lead, feeling strangely proud of having Jeonghan on his arm.

“Have you been here before?” Seokmin asks as Jeonghan peruses a map of the park.

Jeonghan’s eyebrows are drawn together in puzzlement as he tries to orient himself, doing an about-face when he realizes that they’ve been walking in the wrong direction.

“Yes, a few times. When I was much younger,” Jeonghan says. “I think we’re going this way.”

Seokmin is all bluster and bravado until they actually reach the roller coaster, a towering complex of intricate scaffolding, the air surrounding it shrill with screams. Seokmin balks at the sight of it. He suddenly remembers why he’s never set foot on a roller coaster before.

Jeonghan tugs him by the elbow to get in line for the ride, but Seokmin's heels are planted to the ground. Frowning at the sudden resistance, Jeonghan says, “Come on, before more people get in line in front of us.”

“Sorry,” Seokmin says. He keeps his voice as even as possible so Jeonghan won't notice his fear. “I was just wondering, have you ever Googled ‘deaths on amusement park rides’? I have, and it's a fun read.”

“Don't think about that now, idiot,” Jeonghan says without any malice in his tone. “Come on, you won't die. I promise.”

Seokmin feels Jeonghan's fingers slip through the crevices between his own, and suddenly he feels less afraid. Conflicting feelings battle inside of Seokmin. At first he’s happy to be holding hands with Jeonghan, then he’s self-conscious about Jeonghan’s cool, smooth palm pressing against his hot, sticky hand. He’s also embarrassed—this is what Jeonghan does to soothe the nerves of younger teammates right before matches. Jeonghan probably still sees Seokmin as a kid , someone to keep a watchful eye on, a nuisance when he gets too loud.

Seokmin fears Jeonghan's attention as much as he craves it.

They’ve been teammates for a few years now, but Seokmin is still a little intimidated by Jeonghan. At first, it was because Seokmin was in awe of Jeonghan’s athletic ability. The way Jeonghan moves his body is elegant and sharp, like a sword. Seokmin eventually developed his own style of playing, more commanding and ostentatious than Jeonghan’s subtle technique. He’s been told by both his coach and captain that as soon as the seniors graduate, Seokmin will take Seungcheol’s place as a starting singles player. It’s a bittersweet thought. It was always Seokmin’s goal to play singles, but he’s already started to miss being Jeonghan’s partner.

Lately, Seokmin has begun to realize that it’s not just Jeonghan’s tennis skills that make his stomach swoop when he sees him. It’s something less tangible. In Seokmin’s eyes, Jeonghan exists on an entirely different plane. He can’t say for sure what it may be, but it might have something to do with Jeonghan’s broad shoulders, or the way his sleek black hair has an iridescent sheen to it in daylight.

Minutes pass by without either of them saying a word, the longest time Seokmin has spent without talking this entire trip. He’s acutely aware of their skin contact, and he wonders if Jeonghan has noticed that his palm is sweaty or that he’s holding onto his hand too tightly.

Jeonghan is quiet, calmly watching the roller coaster passengers screaming as they whiz by overhead. He never feels the need to to make conversation the way that Seokmin always does. Silence makes Seokmin restless.

He asks, “Do you want to play a game while we wait, hyung?”

“Hmm?” Jeonghan answers absentmindedly.

“Well, it's more of a personality quiz. Do you know what your alignment is, hyung?”

“What do you mean by alignment?”

“For example, mine is Chaotic Good. A few of the guys on our team have done it too: Seungcheol-hyung was Lawful Good, Mingyu was True Neutral, and Jihoon-hyung was Lawful Evil.”

“No, I don’t think I’ve heard of that before.”

Seokmin pulls out his phone and says, “I’ll find an alignment test to figure out which one you are, then!”

He opens a link and reads out the first question. “If a friend asked you for help, would you: a) ignore them—”

Immediately, Jeonghan says, “Yes.”

“Okay, next question….”

He continues to ask Jeonghan questions, occasionally commenting on Jeonghan’s answers, which are revealing to Seokmin a very different side of Jeonghan. He isn’t sure whether Jeonghan is answering seriously or if he's trying to be ironic. Either way, Jeonghan seems to be enjoying himself, which is all that Seokmin was aiming for anyways.

Eventually, they reach the end of the questions, and Seokmin enters Jeonghan's responses to calculate his results.

"Looks like you're a...." Seokmin begins to say as the page loads. "Chaotic Evil?"

"I'm not sure what that means, but it seems to make sense," Jeonghan says, chuckling as he reads the page, resting his chin on Seokmin's shoulder.

They've moved up from the end of the line almost to the beginning in the time it took to figure out Jeonghan's alignment. Seokmin can see from their position in line people in front of them climbing onto the roller coaster seats and strapping themselves in. It seems more real now, than ever, that Seokmin is facing two of his biggest fears at the same time—Jeonghan and roller coasters.

"Are you okay?" Jeonghan asks with concern, suddenly noticing Seokmin's serious expression.

His face is deceptively calm, an expression that Jeonghan rarely sees. For a moment, Jeonghan has a chance to admire Seokmin's smooth tanned skin, chestnut eyes, and sloping jaw. And then Seokmin's face seems to rearrange itself completely to make room for a smile that takes up his entire face, his eyes crinkling around the edges.

"Yes, I was just contemplating death," Seokmin says cheerfully. "But apparently the odds of dying on a roller coaster aren't as bad as you'd think."

"Just how bad do you think they are?" Jeonghan asks, alarmed now by the bright, forced smile on Seokmin's face.

"Like, quantitatively?"

"You know what, never mind. Have you been on a roller coaster before?"

It's the one question that Seokmin didn't want to be confronted with. He's never been on a roller coaster. Every time he goes to a park like this with his friends or family, he always seeks refuge in the arcade, using the indoor air conditioning as an excuse to avoid facing his fears. Today just happens to be an exception. Seokmin is more terrified of roller coasters than he'd like to admit, but he won't pass up the chance to hold hands with Jeonghan.

"Um, no," Seokmin admits quietly.

"I had a feeling you'd say that," Jeonghan says, but he doesn't seem to be annoyed. In fact, an amused little smile plays around Jeonghan's lips. "This is a good first roller coaster, though."

"What's it like? Is it scary?"

"Well, as you can see, it goes very fast in the beginning. Like, it just takes off . That's the only scary part. I can never keep my eyes open for it."

"Oh," Seokmin says, slightly relieved. "If it's just fast, then I think I'll be okay."

"If I remember correctly, I think that it goes upside down at some point too? But it's so fast that you don't even notice it."

"Ah."

"Are you scared?" Jeonghan asks, his voice low and teasing. He looks at Seokmin with eyes half-lidded, an unspoken taunt behind them.

"Of course not!" Seokmin says quickly. Again, he feels the irrational need to impress Jeonghan, an impulse that Jeonghan knows very well how to take advantage of.

"Well, it looks like it's time for us to put our stuff in a cubby," Jeonghan points out. "So we don't lose anything on the ride."

"I have to leave my snacks here?"

Jeonghan nods, laughing quietly at Seokmin's scandalized expression. Another thing he's learned about Seokmin over the past couple of years: Seokmin never likes to be separated from his snacks.

"Is it alright if I leave my stuff in your bag?" Jeonghan asks.

Seokmin eagerly opens his bag for him and allows Jeonghan to stow their belongings in a cramped cubby.

"Well, this is it," Jeonghan says once they've taken their seats on the ride and lowered the lap bars.

Seokmin is clenching onto Jeonghan's hand, more tightly than ever. At this point he seems too terrified to even speak.

"Just so you know, they're going to take a picture of us on the ride. So try to look pretty," Jeonghan suggests.

Seokmin starts yelling as the train moves slowly towards the launch track to get into starting position.

"We haven't even started yet, what are you screaming about?" Jeonghan laughs.

"I'm just trying to get warmed up for the—"

The rest of his sentence is cut off by the sudden acceleration of the ride. Seokmin can feel the rush of air pulling his hair and skin back. His breath is too choked up to even yell, but he can hear Jeonghan laughing next to him. It's louder than any of the screams around them.

The ride climbs upwards, and Seokmin finds his voice again. He shouts at the top of his lungs something incoherent and meaningless, just to release his pent up terror. And then there's the plummet that makes Seokmin feel momentarily weightless, like he's going to fall right out of his seat.

He doesn't fight the loss of control over his own body, and suddenly the fear is replaced with a different feeling. The dread clutching at his stomach relinquishes its control, and Seokmin realizes that it's fun , and he's having fun .

Seokmin screams non-stop for the rest of the ride, through barrel loops, cobra rolls, and a plummeting snake dive. The ride lasts a little less than a minute, but it feels like it's only three seconds long.

It's over. Seokmin can breathe again. He staggers out of the train, his knees shaky and weak as he stumbles after Jeonghan to collect their belongings.

"Wasn't that fun ?" Jeonghan asks, handing Seokmin his bag.

"Yeah," Seokmin agrees breathlessly, and it's only half a lie. It was fun during the parts where his terror didn't incapacitate his ability to enjoy himself.

Jeonghan laughs, not a derisive or sarcastic laugh, but a real one. From their time spent together as teammates, Seokmin has seen only a limited emotional range from Jeonghan. When he does laugh, it’s usually when he’s around Seungcheol or Jisoo.

It’s awe-inspiring to see Jeonghan in a state of pure delight, so joyful because of something they experienced together.

“Let’s look at the photos!” Jeonghan says, skipping happily ahead of him.

Seokmin looks about as good as he expected. Which is to say, not at all. The photo was captured at the moment of acceleration, right after Seokmin squeezed his eyes shut. His bangs are pulled away from his hairline, the skin on his cheeks pulled away from his face. He looks less like a human and more like a gorilla.

He looks down at his chest. Miraculously, the Donkey Kong name badge is still there.

“Not bad,” Jeonghan says as he inspects their photo. “I think I’ll buy one as a keepsake.”

Seokmin is about to complain about how awful he looks, but then he realizes that Jeonghan must be looking at himself.

Somehow, Jeonghan is looking straight at the camera in the photo, his hair flowing elegantly behind him. His face is placid, like he’s on a fashion runway rather than a roller coaster ride hurtling forward at an ungodly speed.

“How the hell are you so photogenic that you manage to look good on a ride photo?” Seokmin protests. Side by side, Jeonghan looks like an ice prince, while Seokmin looks like a gremlin in comparison.

Jeonghan cracks up when he sees Seokmin in the photo. “I have to show this to Soonyoung,” he says, gasping for breath.

“Why? He has so many weird photos of me already!”

Jeonghan decides not to shell out $20 for the photo print and takes a picture of it with his phone instead. He sends it immediately to the team group chat. Within seconds, Soonyoung replies with a text that says THANK U JEONGOD. I HAVE BEEN BLESSED

“Did you have to send that to the group chat?” Seokmin objects, but he’s secretly pleased that Jeonghan was so amused by the photo.

“It deserves to be appreciated,” Jeonghan says, ruffling Seokmin’s hair.

“I look like an idiot.”

“You’re my idiot. Why don’t you let hyung buy you a snack? Whatever you want, for being a good sport.”

The mention of food— free food , no less—has Seokmin perking up instantly.

“Cotton candy?” Seokmin says hopefully.

Jeonghan grimaces a little at the thought of buying the overpriced, overly sweet sugar fluff.

“Whatever you want,” he relents, just so he won’t go back on his own promise. And because Seokmin looks so giddy at the idea of cotton candy.

Jeonghan gets him two cones of the sticky spun sugar confection. One is shell pink like bubble gum (or Seokmin's lips), and the other is a pale blue like the summer sky.

“Which one is mine?” Seokmin asks, eyeing them both hungrily.

“They're both for you,” Jeonghan says simply, and he hands them to Seokmin.

“You're the best, hyung!” Seokmin says. He throws his arms around Jeonghan in a moment of thoughtless excitement.

Then he quickly steps away, realizing that Jeonghan might not appreciate being hugged. It never occurs to him just why Jeonghan might have been so indulgent with him lately.

They find a bench to sit on while Seokmin pops tufts of cotton candy into his mouth. Jeonghan seems happy to take a break from wandering the park, lazily watching people walk by as he lounges on a bench.

“Look at me, hyung!” Seokmin says.

Jeonghan lifts his head to find that Seokmin has arranged his blue cotton candy into a beard and mustache on his face, sticking the sweet substance to his skin.

"That's a....good look," Jeonghan says.

"Guess who I am!" Seokmin says. He drops his voice to a low wheeze. "Everybody pick up all the balls off the courts. We're running sprints!"

"You're not trying to mock our coach, are you?"

"Of course not," Seokmin says sweetly. "I'm trying to be old man Seungcheol-hyung."

Jeonghan laughs and shoves him lightly. "What if I tell Seungcheol that you think of him as an old man?"

"You wouldn't," Seokmin gasps. "He'll kick my ass."

Looking at Seokmin's horrified expression, blue cotton candy stuck all over his face, fills Jeonghan with a strange kind of fondness. Yes, Seokmin is an idiot, but it's oddly endearing. Jeonghan has a sudden impulse to squeeze him, or to kiss him.

Instead, Jeonghan leans in, letting his lips graze Seokmin's cheek. Seokmin suddenly goes very still. He's hardly breathing when Jeonghan nibbles at the sweet confection starting to fall from Seokmin's skin. It's too sweet for Jeonghan's taste, but he continues nipping at it until he reaches skin beneath the layer of sugar. And then he licks residual grains of blue sugar from Seokmin's skin with the tip of his tongue.

Somehow, it's even more intimate than a kiss.

Seokmin doesn't say anything the entire time, the words shocked out of him for once in his life. When Jeonghan is done, he just licks his lips and looks away like nothing happened.

He pulls a park map out of his fanny pack.

"I think we should go on a wooden roller coaster next. Just so you know what that feels like. Are you done with your snack?"

"Yeah, let me just....wash my face."

Seokmin ducks into a public restroom to splash cool water on his face. Both to wash the rest of the uneaten cotton candy from his skin and to relieve the burning sensation from where Jeonghan's lips and tongue touched his cheek.

"What the fuck ," Seokmin mutters under his breath. What's the most disturbing to him isn't that Jeonghan grossed him out or anything. In fact, Seokmin would prefer feeling disgusted by what Jeonghan did.

But no, Seokmin is inexplicably turned on .

He checks his smile in the mirror before heading out to join Jeonghan again.

They encounter a few of their friends in line for Lightning Racer, Jeonghan's favorite wooden roller coaster. It has two dueling trains, the red Lightning train and the green Thunder train.

"Thunder always wins," Jeonghan says, grabbing Seokmin's hand and leading them towards the green train.

"No, Lightning does!" Soonyoung says, dragging Chan along with him onto the red train.

As soon as the ride starts, Seokmin decides that wooden roller coasters are infinitely more terrifying than the newer, high speed steel roller coasters. The new roller coasters have more dramatic drops and loops, but the bumpy, jiggety wooden ride feels like it could fall apart at any second.

"When was this thing built?" Seokmin hollers over the sound of the rattling track as they make their ascension to the highest peak of the ride.

"Who cares?" Jeonghan yells back happily. "Just enjoy the ride!"

Seokmin starts screaming before they even crest the peak. This, to him, is always the scariest part of the ride—the anticipation of the plummet that follows the ascension, rather than the drop itself.

As they make the the dip, Seokmin reaches across his lap bar to grab Jeonghan's hand. Jeonghan laughs in delight—he never seems to scream on these rides—and squeezes Seokmin's hand in return.

"We did it! We won!" Jeonghan cheers when their train slows down to a halt just seconds before the other one does.

"Great," Seokmin sighs, breathless from screaming his lungs out throughout the duration of the ride. "I honestly didn't even notice."

When they make it out of the ride complex, Soonyoung and Chan are already racing each other to get back in line.

“What do you think?” Jeonghan asks. “Do you think you want to try some more wooden roller coasters or the steel ones instead?”

It fascinates Seokmin to see Jeonghan so excited by this, especially since it's something Seokmin wouldn't have expected Jeonghan to be so interested in. It suddenly occurs to Seokmin that there's an image of Jeonghan in his mind that he still has yet to completely reconcile with the Jeonghan that exists in the corporeal world. Jeonghan is such a beautifully complex being that Seokmin could easily spend his whole life trying to understand him.

“The steel coasters, definitely,” Seokmin says. “They just make me think that I'm going to feel like I'm going to die. But the wooden ones actually make me feel like I'm going to die.”

Jeonghan smiles at Seokmin's distinction, articulated with his unique brand of humor. Another part of being on the tennis team he's going to miss when he leaves high school.

“You know, these rides really aren't as scary as I thought they'd be,” Seokmin notes as they wander towards Jeonghan's other favorite ride, the Great Bear.

“Oh yeah? What was all that screaming then?”

“I wasn't screaming because I was scared! I was just having fun.”

“You sounded pretty scared to me,” Jeonghan points out.

Seokmin grins sheepishly. “Maybe a little.”

He feels a thrill low in his stomach when he hears Jeonghan’s laugh again, gentle and throaty and so lovely all at once.

On their way across the park, they come across a section of the park filled with carnival games. They see Seungcheol and Hansol waiting in line at a test-your-strength booth. Seungcheol jogs in place as if to warm up for his turn. Hansol watches on in amusement, a big, fluffy dog plushie tucked under his elbow.

“Hey Hansol-ah!” Jeonghan calls out as they approach the booth. “Where did you get that toy from?”

Hansol’s eyes light up when he sees his friends approaching. “I won it playing Whack-a-mole,” he answers.

“Ah, I see.” Jeonghan nods in understanding, proud of his teammate’s skill. “It’s cute. I like it.”

“Want me to win you one?” Seungcheol asks, flexing his biceps. “I think I’ve got this.”

“No, if you win a prize, just keep it for yourself,” Jeonghan insists.

Even though Jeonghan turned down Seungcheol’s offer, Seokmin still feels a strange burn of jealousy. As Jeonghan hangs over the fence to chat with Seungcheol, Seokmin lowers his voice and asks Hansol, “Where did you say you got your plushie again?”

Hansol points him to another booth displaying a menagerie of stuffed animals hanging from its walls and canopy. Seokmin heads over.

He hands the Whack-a-mole operator a few crumpled one dollar bills and waits for other contestants to join him, flexing his fingers in anticipation. Having quick reflexes has helped Seokmin tremendously as a tennis player, and it’s paying off even now as he pummels the tiny moles that pop up with the giant mallet.

Seokmin comes out on top, beating several small children at the game of skill. He picks his prize, a giant cheeseburger plushie that nobody except Jeonghan adores.

“For you!” he says proudly, handing Jeonghan the cheeseburger plush.

Jeonghan's eyes widen in surprise as he accepts the gift. “Oh, it's lovely! Thank you, Seokmin.”

“Guys, it's Seungcheol's turn now,” Hansol says, patting Jeonghan on the shoulder.

They watch as Seungcheol brings the giant hammer high above his head before swinging it down with all his strength. The puck shoots up the lever, peaking just shy of the bell at the top. It floats there, suspended momentarily by its momentum before plummeting back down to its starting position.

Seungcheol throws down the hammer in frustration in a way that resembles how he throws his tennis racket when he loses a match, which does not happen often. Hansol escorts him away from the carnival game, Seungcheol grumbling about how everything is rigged anyways.

“I guess we're back to our regularly programmed….programming,” Seokmin says cheerfully when Seungcheol slinks off to the arcade, Hansol trotting faithfully behind him.

“I don't think that's how that saying goes,” Jeonghan laughs.

It might be Seokmin's imagination, but Jeonghan seems to walk a little too close to him, so close that their elbows and other parts bump every once in awhile. It's almost as if Jeonghan is looking for an excuse to let their skin touch, even if it's just the brush of a knuckle. It fills Seokmin with the same kind of thrill he gets when he's looping through a corkscrew on a roller coaster ride.

Seokmin does the scariest thing he's done all day—he grabs Jeonghan's hand when they're walking next to each other in broad daylight.

Jeonghan doesn't pull away, to Seokmin's relief. He was expecting much worse. He expected Jeonghan to look at him in disgust or to slap him, and he was prepared to laugh it off as a joke. But Jeonghan doesn't do either of those things.

The blue sky is tinged with pink like cotton candy when it’s time for them to return to the bus. They file through the park gate, the exiting crowd a dark huddled mass around them. Seokmin sighs happily, “Doesn’t this just feel like paradise?”

“More like purgatory,” Jeonghan answers.

When they’re on the bus, Seokmin tries to slip to the back of the vehicle with Soonyoung, who brought his Nintendo DS, but Jeonghan catches him by the wrist.

“Can we sit together again?” he asks with an inviting smile that Seokmin could never refuse. “If you’re not sick of me, that is.”

Seokmin obliges, sliding into the seat next to him. The day spent with Jeonghan has felt like progress. He’s gotten closer to him in ways that he couldn’t imagine. But being surrounded by their noisy teammates reminds Seokmin once again of the boundaries between them. Tomorrow, they’ll go back to being teammates, connected by nothing except for their love of the game. It’s dangerous and foolish of him to even entertain the idea that anything more might come out of this.

The bus rumbles into motion, and the interior of the vehicle darkens.  

“Now tell me,” Jeonghan says suddenly, startling Seokmin. “Why are you afraid of me?”

“I’m not,” Seokmin says, and it’s only half a lie.

“The way you’re not afraid of roller coasters?”

“The scariest part is going up,” Seokmin admits. “Right before you go down.”

"It's just scary for you because you always assume the worst before it actually happens."

Seokmin doesn’t try to refute him, because he knows that Jeonghan is right.

"You think something's going to be scary and awful before you even experience it,” Jeonghan continues. “But I'm telling you, Seokmin-ah, it's never as bad as it seems like it'll be."

It occurs to Seokmin suddenly that they might not be talking about roller coasters anymore.

"Now was there something you wanted to tell me?" Jeonghan asks gently. Adrenaline courses through Seokmin’s veins as Jeonghan watches him with a smug look that's insufferable and absolutely irresistible.

There hadn't been, but Seokmin feels like there's something Jeonghan is waiting for him to say. Seokmin’s mind is racing in circles, his brain unable to process his thoughts quickly enough to figure out what it might be.

Every worry in his mind collapses when Jeonghan leans across the armrest separating their seats to kiss him.

Jeonghan has always been better at expressing himself through actions, rather than words. He tries to get his feelings across to Seokmin, sliding his fingers into his hair and moving his parted lips against Seokmin’s. He licks his way into Seokmin’s mouth, tasting the lingering citrusy sweetness on his tongue from the tangerines he ate earlier. Seokmin’s mouth is unbelievably warm, as are his hands when they grab onto Jeonghan’s wrists.

When they resurface to gasp for breath, Seokmin’s expecting that single, terrible moment of mutual reflection that they shared a kiss. But Jeonghan is smiling softly at him with his sleepy, sensuous eyes, and Seokmin realizes what Jeonghan has been waiting for him to say.

“I like you,” Seokmin finally manages to choke out. He usually doesn’t get embarrassed easily, but he can feel his face burning.

Jeonghan’s coy smile stretches into a wide grin. “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it.”