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Corruption is a truly black, dark thing.
It feasts on your insides most of the time and that already sounds worse enough, it isn't. It gets worse when it gets unleashed into the surroundings, destroying anything it can get its hands on, even its own vessel. And unfortunately for Chuuya, Arahabaki loved making sure Chuuya suffered every time he dared to use corruption to defeat an enemy. Something he so despised with how good Arahabaki was getting on making it hell on earth.
He hated how it felt like it pierced and ripped his skin open down to the bone, how it would dislocate joints and break bones with no regard of what the vessel that sustained him was feeling. He hated how he lost all control of his body; how he basically just became a puppet for its countless antics. He hated how inhuman it made him feel. How the pain felt like a fair price for all the suffering he had caused others just because he was born.
But he was human, wasn't he? He did everything a human did and more. He felt, he cried, he hated, he loved, he trusted, he did all of that. He could feel the most excruciating pain and still not break just because of will alone. He had something a lot of people seemed to lack, loyalty. He was loyal no matter how much someone pushed him. He was loyal that he'd try to fit the mold someone created for him just so that they wouldn't leave like everyone.
Why did everyone always leave him? The sheep seemed like they wouldn't. He had founded a home there among his friends, the same friends who would push him onto the battlefield and have him be the king he was never meant to be. And he followed that mold. He became their king and made sure they were all protected, yet no one ever protected him. They all just hoped that he would be able to protect them forever.
Yet.. they also cared for him. They'd give him a part of their food when they didn't have enough. Hell! Shirase was the one who saved him when he was nothing but a weak little kid barely surviving. He could only imagine what Shirase felt seeing him, perhaps it was disgust or pity, but yet they still took him in and made sure he survived.
Then.. after all of those memories they had made together, the heartbreaks they lived through together, the joys they got to experience together. They betrayed him. Just like that, figured he was too powerful, figured he was the one betraying them. No.. no he would never. He was too loyal to even think about betraying them, didn't they know him well enough for that?
And even then an unknown voice whispered into his ear that they simply didn't know anything. That Chuuya should just let it out and he'd show them what they've missed out on. He kept on whispering these cruel things about them, something Chuuya knew that he'd never think about, so then if it wasn't him.. who was it?
Then he joined the Port Mafia, it seemed hopeful. He found himself a group of friends, they all had each other's back. They were his second family, the family that took him in after the sheep stabbed him in the back ruthlessly. It seemed hopeful.. hopeful until he met his brother and again, he lost everything he had in a single night.
This time he heard the voice clearer the moment he saw Lippmann's body, he could hear only one emotion in its tone, hate. It was the very hate that flowed through his veins and directed its rage towards the very man who called himself his brother. No brother would kill their own siblings' friends. The only people who made Chuuya feel actually human.
But in a way, his brother—Verlaine—knew exactly what question was running through his head on repeat and answered it quite well to his utter shock. It was just a single touch which made it course through his veins stronger than ever. It rippled through his skin, he could feel it clawing itself out. He could feel everything way too much.
He felt his muscles getting torn as he slowly lost control of every single one of his limbs, just having to sit there in pain as it became worse and worse, and the only thing he knew at that moment was that it wasn't human. No human would have this thing in itself.
After some time he had come to realize that it wanted to escape its holder who happened to be Chuuya, and that till it got its goal it would make Chuuya's life a living hell. When it couldn't use physical pain it would torment Chuuya in his mind instead. It would never just shut up, it would never just give him a break. It wanted to make sure that Chuuya knew that it wasn't going to ever give up and was getting out eventually. That eventually would result in Chuuya's own death from having his whole body destroyed.
And something Arahabaki didn't know was that if Chuuya died, so did it. They were fused together in a way, the only difference was that Chuuya would continue living if Arahabaki suddenly just disappeared, Arahabaki would die if Chuuya's body ever died. It was dependent on Chuuya and didn't even know it. What a fool even a god can be.
“Chuuya, why do you still lie to yourself about being human? What does it help?" It asked one faithful day as Chuuya finally was allowed to go home, this time it went extra hard on his body. Multiple dislocated joints, a broken arm and countless big bruises and wounds littered around his whole body.
“I am human. Or at least semi-human, you're the only thing keeping me back from being fully human." Chuuya answered it out loud, stumbling his way to the bed and collapsing on it in a rather ungraceful manner for the mafioso.
“Then let me go, let me be free. Just use corruption and don't have that nullification user stop me." It responded in Chuuya's head, its voice loud and booming in the quiet apartment as impatience was clear in its tone.
“No can do, I'd die if I let you have your way like that." Chuuya told him in a tired tone as he laid down on his bed and simply looked at the ceiling. This was the longest they've held a conversation for without it going to the torture Chuuya had grown used to.
“And? Isn't it better to die human rather than live as the monstrosity you are?" It asked curiously, making sure to emphasize the monstrosity part, by now it knew what got a reaction out of Chuuya. Knew what would break his mental state the most.
“Perhaps you're right, but currently I value living more than proving something I already know." He answered quite level-headed for his current state as he got as comfortable as possible on the bed, trying to not aggravate any of his wounds.
“Vessels aren't humans, just remember that." That was the final thing it said before going into its normal comments and making sure it would be as loud as possible, it could keep this up forever. Thank god it only took a few days for corruption to fully wear off. Maybe one day he won't have to use corruption again.
He knows that's a lie though, he'll have to use it for as long as he is in the mafia. The mafia does call it a useful asset. Everyone has different thoughts on it after all.
Some call it inhuman. Some call it useful. Some may even call it beautiful. But for Chuuya the answer will never be anything other than a curse. It is a curse that will forever stain him, a stain only one person knows how to clean.