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Thai Chayanon loves to annoy Nex Nattakit.
He felt sparks flying in the pit of his stomach every time he saw those angry eyes coming his way. For him, having Nex's undivided attention was like winning the world wrapped in a gift box.
Thai did everything, often poking the boy at inopportune moments, whispering silly jokes in his ear, and making faces at him whenever he felt like it. But what really annoyed Nex was having him as his enemy. Having to deal with Thai on the rival team in the school games was a true test of endurance. Chayanon knew exactly what to say and how to say it; it was as if all of Nex's weaknesses were laid out in a manual that Thai seemed to collect.
And for Nex, it would be impossible to control his instincts when those mischievous eyes were accompanied by a pair of light hands, tickling his waist, only to receive shoves and insults. Nex never smiled, but he still wondered if his anger was genuine or just an innocent, irrelevant spark. He would never know.
Ironically, these two crossed paths without any grand intentions. It turns out that Copper, Thai's best friend, is in the school orchestra, and Thai always volunteered to go see him play that heavy instrument while strutting around in flashy clothes amidst the crowd of students—and, of course, Nex was part of that blue and white blur.
There was also Marc, Peem, Jinwook, and a bunch of other guys. Some from the basketball team, others from the audiovisual club, from the art studios, but none of them could explain how it happened, how the twelve ended up together, cheering each other on amidst the chaotic life that was adolescence. Maybe because they were the only ones to visit the abandoned school building, maybe because of fate, the stars, ice cream cones, or even a bizarre prophecy that would make them save the world at least once.
And so we arrive at the present day: in a dusty room, with a huge sofa smelling of cleaning products, where several scattered shelves held books, manga, trophies, figurines, ornaments, and thousand and one little things—like stickers, Polaroids, and a string of small colored lights. There were forbidden posters on the walls, strategically censored by plant pots; a coffee table with snacks, open sketchbooks, scribbled spreadsheets, and finally, an old television with a built-in DVD player—probably useless for the audiovisual club.
The room screamed the personality of each of them. Alan brought a punching bag and hung it in a corner, Peem drilled a hole in the wall and installed a small basketball hoop, Khunpol organized all his classic films in a pile of DVDs, Jinwook scattered all his sheet music around the room, Marc had a habit of bringing a small bottle of paint to include in his basket in front of the easel, Heart framed the signature of his idol Mark Lee and made a small pedestal for the achievement, while Phutachai hung his ice skates near Copper's collection of Rubik's Cubes. AA was the only one to show up with a long metal clothesline; after all, he only felt comfortable knowing he had extra clothes. Over time, team and rock band t-shirts came to occupy the same space as his delicate, white, lavender-scented shirts. Jungt wasn't eccentric, but he always lost his things around the room—hats, headphones, exam cheat sheets—so a piece of him was everywhere. And finally, Nex occupied an entire bookshelf with books worthy of his time, and Thai, besides his aggressive rock 'n' roll shirts, kept a pair of drumsticks in strategic places in case boredom struck him, as it did now.
Chayanon was sprawled on the sofa with a drumstick in his hand, tapping on the arm of the furniture, while Khunpol argued with Heart about which movie to watch that Friday night. Peem appeared along with Jinwook and Alan with a tray of sushi and pizza boxes. Marc came with several sheets and AA appeared right behind with pillows, while Phutachai brought a pile of random plush toys. Everyone was setting the scene for a typical movie night, Nex in complete silence along with a very excited Copper, serving disposable cups of soda, until finally a loud scolding from Jungt made Khunpol and Heart reach a consensus.
Thus, "The Silence of the Lambs," a 1991 classic, took over the screen and the laughter ceased. Thai snuggled up with a slice of pizza in his hand and Copper was beside him, laughing nervously only for the first few minutes. But when they least expected it, a high-pitched scream from Jinwook cut through the room and murmurs began, accompanied by long laughs. Alan, somewhat worried, changes places and stands next to the boy, occupying the space between him and Marc. In short, what should be a horror film becomes a comedy.
At a certain point, around the middle of the torturous minutes, everything is very quiet, and too much quiet is always the trigger that awakens the worst side of Thai Chayanon. He starts slowly; Nex is strategically seated in front of him, not because he wants to be, but because of the group's stubbornness in leaving them close to each other, almost a silent agreement. Thai slowly stretches out his hand and waits for the right moment. When the specific scene hits the screen, he notices Nex's shoulders arch, and that's when he sinks his hands into the tense muscles, tripling the fright that ends in a shrill scream.
The room fills with laughter again, and no one would suspect they're watching a horror movie.
Thai immediately recoils as Nex lunges at him, slapping his hands.
"I'm going to kill you!" Nex shouts, and no one is paying attention to the movie anymore.
Laughter fills the room, and Copper is responsible for trying to separate them. Thai sticks his tongue out and makes the most idiotic face in the world, which only changes when he receives a shove from Nex. Then, with his fake, painful expression, he says, "Ow, ow, why are you always so aggressive?"
"I wonder why?" Nex growls, and Thai laughs.
"You two are going to end up getting married," Alan says.
"We'll look great in suits," Copper fully agrees.
At that moment, Thai and Nex exchange silent glances. Thai winks, and Nex returns his attention to the movie, finally sulking. Would it be psychopathic to admit that his smile widened after noticing the boy's pout?
And then, as always, Thai stretches out his fist and rests his palm on the back of Nex's neck, in an almost imperceptible caress, at least to the eyes of others. Nex doesn't complain, much less push away; he accepts it as a silly apology. Again, their eyes meet and are held in that tension that makes both their spines tingle. Nattakit always loses this crazy competition and looks away, that's when he takes his own hand to Thai's and pinches it, but doesn't let the contact be lost.
And that's how the rest of the film goes.
As the credits rolled across the black screen, at least four boys were already asleep, and it was no surprise that the first one was MarcKris, leaning on the shoulder of an equally sleepy Alan. Heart, Jiwook, and Phutachai also followed suit, while the rest remained in their own little world, some lying on the mattress strategically placed in front of the sofa before the movie, and the rest on the soft furniture. Thai stretched and reached for the sheet, now with Nex beside him, his back turned, too busy watching short videos on his phone app.
He watched him silently, wanting to nudge him, wanting to interrupt his peace, but instead he contented himself with resting his face on the pillow they were sharing, moving towards that body so close. His arm encircled Nex's waist as if it belonged to him. Again without pushing, which meant without restraint, Thai snuggled into that soft body and closed his eyes, being graced by the natural scent emanating from human warmth. Nex, on the other hand, feels the breath on his sensitive nape and his hairs stand on end. He tries to ignore it, but as always, Thai seems so inescapable.
This kind of "thing" had been happening with abnormal frequency. In the club room, at Marc's house, on party days… This gap where Thai and Nex aren't in their conflicted and intense bubble, this situation where Nex's thoughts seethed as if his character had completely escaped the script.
Neither of them remembers when it happened, but the exchange of glances with a million meanings became a habit, even during fights, even during anger. Perhaps because Thai tried, in the end, to make Nex smile at least once after all the chaos.
And by some miracle or universal glitch, he managed to complete this task on an ordinary day, better known as the happiest day of Thai's life.
Months ago, everyone gathered at the amusement park and spent all their allowance on sweets and tickets. Thai detached himself from the group of boys solely to find Nex, who claimed to be lost due to chat messages, and no one was willing to undertake even a minimally responsible task. He crossed the area crowded with little children and found Nattakit sitting on the edge of a huge fountain carved with various engravings of characters from famous games of the 2000s. Thai raised his hand, but held back, a devilish smile appearing and a charming idea proving far more interesting than a simple meeting. He calmly slipped past the strangers, and before he could scare him, Nex, who had been focused on his cell phone, ironically stood up and avoided what would have been another hellish part of his routine. And luckily, Thai crossed the open air like something out of a cartoon and fell into the fountain, attracting the attention of at least half the park. Nex was one of those people; he watched the ridiculous scene with a toothy grin and recorded a clip of it.
Captured on his cell phone is the scene of Thai sitting on the fountain floor, legs spread and arms supporting his weight behind him, his hair wet as he spits out the water, hoping the health inspectors did a great job. He can't feel anything but relief as he looks at Nex and contemplates the most beautiful smile in the world. So yes, Thai is soaked and playing the fool, but he's laughing along with Nex and loving it.
The rest of that day seemed like a distant dream; they raided gift shops to choose the least tacky pair of clothes, shared ice cream cones, played on bumper cars, and all this without too many arguments, of course, with a squabble or two, but the exchange of glances, the gentle touch, seemed to have created a multiverse, an unknown version, and it was something that neither of them hated.
But as always, Nex ignores it; he ignores the fact that his brain thinks he's running a marathon. Saying nothing the next day is an internal promise; he only allows primal contact and falls asleep, wondering what's going on in the mind of that disturbed maniac who likes to annoy him.
⭐
The last day of school, the most anticipated since the beginning of February, finally begins. The school is chaotic; nobody cares about the teachers or the stupid rules. Uniforms are smeared with ugly signatures, and children run around hitting each other with water balloons while some rebel invades the sound booth, ensuring that typical summer music blares from the school's speakers. The teachers give in to the fun and wander around with whistles, pretending to care about all that damn infraction.
At this very moment, all the clubs are celebrating the end of another year together, but some of them would prefer to be somewhere else. That's how Peem, Heart, and Alan disinfect the basketball court and run through the hallways, bumping into Jinwook, Marc, and Khunpol, who have just left the audiovisual club room.
Their shoes start sliding down the hallway again, making that annoying noise, but nothing matters when they all smile together, bursting into the great hall where the orchestra meets for the last time. Copper, Nex, and AA stare at the panting boys and don't think twice before following their pace. The nine boys climb the stairs at an incredibly steady speed and finally arrive at the last stop, the music room. Thai, Jungt, and Phutachai stare at the transparent door, seeing the mess of boys outside, all signaling with their hands something like "come with us."
So, it all ends with twelve boys rushing down the stairs, traversing the entire course like a hurricane. And suddenly it's like a scene from an afternoon movie, everything goes into slow motion, the smiles are contagious, and the laughter is the best soundtrack. Copper jumps on top of Peem, and Jinwook abandons a shoe along the way, but nothing stops them; nobody can stop them.
It's natural that the end of the line is the outdoor area, where the greenery occupies more space, and the clean pool seems so attractive. The scorching sun hits everyone with its glare, and striped shirts are lost along the way. Peem jumps into the water with Copper clinging to his shoulders, Phutachai pushes Heart, and in the end, the chaotic mess becomes a party. Marc dives like a little professional swimmer, while Khunpol splashes water on AA's face, who was standing untouched on the edge of the pool. Nex joins Jungt, and they jump in at the same time, and finally, Thai is thrown by Alan. The typical summer music blends with the scenery, and anyone would think they are each other's world.
And maybe they are.
Then, when the sun isn't so hot anymore, Thai catches his breath and jumps out of the pool. Nex is far away, sitting on the grass, so he slides to his side and nudges him with his shoulders. The little shoving competition begins and ends when Nex pinches Thai's thigh with an obvious frown. The boy smiles, and the smell of the grass wet with pool water isn't as bad as it seems. He looks at Nex, and he's radiant, his skin kissed by the sun and his long hair swaying in the breeze. He's almost perfect if he didn't admit that Nex is above that level, but he would never tell him.
Nex pretends not to notice the long stare. It's easier.
"Will you miss this?" Thai breaks the silence, as always.
"School? Maybe the band, I don't know." – Nex responds with a smile, his eyes fixed on Phutachai, who finally pulls AA's entire body into the water.
"And me? Will you miss me?"
This time, the world stops. Nex isn't even sure if he's breathing anymore; it must be a nasty prank, after all, what kind of question is that?
"Definitely not," his eyes meet Thai's drenched face. "I won't have to worry about someone trying to destroy my peace." Nex's expression is gentle.
"That hurts me," Thai says, and again, he doesn't seem serious. "Since… I'll miss you."
Shit. What is he trying to do? Thai doesn't want regrets, and Nex doesn't want to deal with something he can't control.
"It's a lie," Nex looks away.
"No, it's not." The firm tone doesn't match the lighthearted atmosphere, and the fear of ruining everything arises. "I just…" Thai gets lost in thought, but Nex hears the curse he whispers. "I hope to see you on vacation."
Then it happens again, by this point, Thai knows by heart the dark mixture that shimmers in Nex's eyes.
"What are you…" But before anything else happens, unwelcoming arms grab them both and carry them away as if they were the latest sacrifice in a Hawaiian ritual.
"Come on, lovebirds, let's get wet!" Peem runs, carrying Thai along with Copper as if he were a feather. Phutachai and Alan burst into laughter as they carry Nex, who struggles but to no avail.
"You sons of b-"
Nex is banished by the splash of water, and life is good again.
⭐
It's the third week of vacation. Nex is bored wearing his light, warm-weather clothes, but nothing helps when even his feet are sweating. AA appears at his bedroom door holding a bucket of popcorn, despite having no occasion.
"Alan called," he grumbles while eating elegantly, as if he'd just left an etiquette class.
"What does he want?" Nex grunts, hating the sun completely. "Tell me we're going to the pool, Copper's house pool, to eat snacks made by your mom—"
"No. But we're going to the arcade," AA sounds excited, and Nex understands why.
The arcade's air conditioning is the best in the neighborhood.
"I'm in."
Nex lifts his face from the book, and with shining eyes, they get dressed in that casual way. The group chat becomes a jumble of meaningless stickers and is marked up. Everyone's going to the arcade, and for some reason Nex is anxious, not because of the cold air or the games, but because it's the first time he's going to run into that bad guy, and he's wondering what kind of stupid pranks he's going to pull on him.
Fifteen minutes later, Alan extends his hand and Thai is the first to arrive in front of the shimmering establishment, the neon purple lights vibrating with the words "Arcade," and they can hear excited children's shouts coming from afar. Copper and Peem get out of the same taxi, while Heart, Khunpol, Jiwook, and Marc exit the subway platform. It's funny how they're the kind of group that never has a bad time to get together, and that's one of the reasons Thai stays up sometimes. The fear of breaking up this team gives him chills.
"What's wrong?" Copper asks, positioning himself next to his best friend.
"Huh? Nothing, why?" a lie. Thai has his hands in his pockets, and a blue lollipop makes his words sound strange. "I'm fine."
Copper rolls his eyes and stares at him with his hands on his hips. Everyone else is chatting about nonsense, but Peem analyzes them both from afar, like tremendous gossip.
"How many years have I known you?"
"I don't know," he says, changing the subject.
"Speak."
"There's nothing to say."
"Thai Chayanon, don't make me say your full name."
"It's just that—"
He wants to tell, but saying it out loud seems too risky; the others are nearby despite the distraction. Copper notices this, immediately offering his ear. That day wouldn't pass without a conversation; Thai had been acting strangely since the beginning of the holidays.
"I can't say I like him." That's it, suddenly it becomes real, the feeling and the euphoria make his hand tingle.
"Why?" Copper doesn't need to ask who he's referring to when it's so obvious.
"Because I know he hates me. It would be idiotic." Thai sighs, and their conversation remains secluded.
"He doesn't hate you," he concludes. "And look, he has several reasons, but I don't see hatred coming from him."
"You have no way of knowing!"
"Well, I only know that I would never defend someone I say I hate."
Thai's expression becomes confused, and Copper's eyes widen, and he covers his mouth, realizing he's said too much.
Thai's expression becomes confused, and Copper's eyes widen as he covers his mouth, realizing he's said too much.
"What? What do you mean?" Thai shakes the boy by the shoulders, making his hair ruffle. "Spill it, Per!"
"Okay, okay, be quiet." He grabs Chayanon by the wrists. "But if you tell anyone I said it, I'll deny it to my death." His threatening tone doesn't intimidate him; Thai smiles like a dog wagging its tail. "It's just that a guy from the school orchestra, a guy named Pond, kind of…" Thai's eyes yearn for news, and Copper sighs. He'd promised never to tell. "Kind of made fun of your band. He's a jerk and said some awful things about you without even knowing you, and then…" Thai frowns, trying to remember who the hell Pond is. However, he's interrupted by Copper. "Before I could open my mouth, Nex threw a smelly towel at him and said some nasty things to him. I was terrified; I had never seen him so angry."
Thai doesn't react instantly; his system freezes, and his hands slide like marshmallows down Copper's arms. That doesn't mean anything, right? That would be crazy.
"I know, you must be feeling like you're in heaven. I would too if the guy I like said, 'Do you even compose music before you're talking, you idiot? Shut up and learn not to mess up your chords, idiot.'" Copper made a lousy imitation of an angry Nex, but Thai was too busy feeling the electric shock pulsating through his heartbeat.
"No… I can't believe it."
Copper is laughing loudly at the idiotic face Thai is making.
"Hide your face, your hero just arrived," he whispers, but it's no use.
Thai watches the boy arrive and swallows hard. He's not surprised that he looks so handsome in 40-degree heat.
"Come on, whoever loses all the games buys an ice cream cone for everyone!" Jungt proposes.
"Stuffed ice cream cone!" Marc cheers.
The twelve enter the arcade and the afternoon of competition begins. Nex mentally thanks the cool air of the game booths and soon finds himself in a fierce battle with Jinwook for first place in the racing game. The boys disperse, and besides winning, the only objective is to win the most tickets so they can exchange the paper for one of those giant plush toys for their collection in the abandoned room. Last time they took home a penguin, and now the biggest plush toy was a blue dolphin, and everyone was eager to get the cotton animal. Then Peem drags Copper to the basketball machines and starts securing at least a third of the millions of winning tickets. Khunpol and Heart are crushing it in the shooting games, some others in table hockey where Phutachai dominates, even on the dance machine. Alan tries his luck on the punching bag, and Marc is next. Finally, a typical vacation day.
Thai is spaced out after that conversation. He strolls down the aisle of racing games and stops in front of a claw machine. One of the plush toys reminds him of Nex and his angry eyes, so Thai pulls a coin from his pocket and tries his luck.
Obviously, he lost. He tried seven more times, and on the last one, the cotton ball, which was basically an angry kitten, fell beside the escape route. Thai snorted loudly and clenched his fists, ready to punch that stupid machine.
"You're terrible at this game."
Nex appeared with a string of tickets hanging from his shoulders.
"And you came all this way just to humiliate me?" Thai smiled that stubborn smile, and the stick, now empty of any lollipop, danced in his mouth.
"I'd say it's historical reparation," Nex said, referring to all the times Thai had disturbed all his neurons. "Watch and learn."
Nex tossed the coin into the slot of the machine, and Thai didn't look at the claw or the strategy; he observed the serene expression on the other's face until finally the game lit up and the plush toy fell into the opening that led him to the real world. Nex smiled openly, proud of himself, and that story about Copper repeated like a mantra in his head.
"Here," he offers the plush toy.
"Thanks." Thai holds it as if it were his new child, and he doesn't realize it, but his eyes scream with passion. "I think I'll call him Nattakito."
"Please, no." Despite the harsh tone, Nex is laughing.
Strangely, they're walking side by side, and what should be normal isn't. Nex has that feeling of having broken character, and Thai begs for the world to tilt, just a little, enough so he can get closer to that boy without looking like a perverted maniac.
"Nex"
"Hm?"
Before Thai can open his mouth, he sees the familiar figures turning the corner and, in desperation and impulse, ends up pushing Nex into a photo booth, covering his mouth and asking for silence. Nex stares at him confused, his hands on the other's shoulders. The hand still weighs on his face, and Chayanon is attentive to the footsteps that disappear as the minutes pass. He sighs in relief, but now he has an even bigger problem.
Nex's gaze screams that he wants to rip his head off.
"What the hell are you doing?" Nex explodes. "If this is another one of your stupid pranks, you better stop."
Nattakit makes a move to leave, but Thai uses his body to block the only door.
"I have a question for you."
"Okay, but did you need all this?" Nex gives in to his sedentary lifestyle and sits on the available seat inside the cramped cabin.
"I needed it." Thai takes his side, a courage etched in his gaze.
Nex, for the thousandth time, is looking at his eyelashes, and Thai swallows hard. The courage slowly drains from his arms.
"Do you hate me?"
No one says anything, and the cabin seems to have become suffocating, like one of those NASA experiments.
They don't realize it, but everything is so different.
"Yes." He answers after a long time. "Yes, I hate you with all my might." Nex says in a firm tone, but to Thai's ears it sounds like the worst lie.
Nex's gaze wavers, wandering over his chin and discreetly over his mouth.
His hands are sweating.
Nattakit tries to hide the growing turmoil in his chest, but Chayanon notices, he always notices.
Slowly, Thai slides his hand along Nex's wrist, drawing his attention back to himself. The plush toy is between them, occupying space it shouldn't, and again they are leaving the scene, the world slowly spinning, and in a last attempt, a faltering voice fills the cubicle.
"Are you sure?"
No!
Nex meets that pair of thin, wide eyes, the vibration of ambition completely exposed. He can see the deepest desires someone like Chayanon could have, but that's not the point; he mainly captures his emotions. He sees the fear, the risk, the passion, and that gleam, that spark of hope running in his orbs.
Looking into Thai Chayanon's eyes is like seeing constellations with the naked eye.
And perhaps that's why it was so irresistible.
In a split second, the distance ceased to be an obstacle. Thai watched Nex lean towards him until his lips met. Then, with his eyes closed, he slowly opened his mouth so they could finally taste what it's like to be in love. Kissing Nex was, without a doubt, the best thing he could have done that summer. His lips were soft and tasted like chewing gum. He would end up becoming a damn addict.
Slowly, Thai's hands found their way and slid to the nape of Nex's neck, caressing his skin, feeling the shiver run through it. The kiss was delicate, a lingering seal without any abrupt movements, as if at any moment they could burst open a crater in the galaxy. Then, as soon as they separated, the exchange of glances with a thousand and one meanings finally made sense, and that's how they engaged in another kiss—this time plunging into something more intense and physical. Nex wanted to feel his flesh, to nibble at it, as if, in this way, he could release some pent-up anger, and this made Thai smile before being devoured. They synchronized their own rhythm, reveling in each other without stopping, as if they had waited for this moment since the day they met.
What Chayanon didn't realize was that Nex's hands were squeezing the plush toy throughout the entire process; if he knew, he would have completely melted.
When they finally parted, their breathing uneven and cheeks splashed with sweat, Thai laughed loudly. Confused, Nex slapped his arm, thinking he was somehow celebrating his “defeat.”
“No, it’s not on purpose,” Thai tried to explain between laughs. “Look at me.” He tried to organize his thoughts, but it was impossible; he couldn’t stop smiling. “Your lips are blue.”
Nex’s eyes widened, and he searched for his reflection in the camera inside the photo booth. Thai, still smiling, reached for his face and cupped it in his hands. He looked at Nex as if holding his world close. Nattakit instinctively closed his eyes, and Thai kissed his nose, his cheek, and his mouth. He really liked kissing him.
“What are you doing, silly?” Nex grumbled, his cheeks puffed out from the tight grip on his face.
"Kissing you," Thai says, leaving another kiss on his forehead.
"I think that's enough for today, don't you think?" The boy replies with a smile that's too cheerful for an angry expression.
"No, I don't think I'll ever get enough of you." Thai pulls away, his face aching from the size of his smile. Nex's lips are still blue.
"Silly."
Now they both laugh, neither of them nervous or scared. They both feel a pleasant warmth in their chests, and honestly? Thai feels on top of the world.
"You don't hate me."
"Yes, I do."
Thai stares at him, confused, and Nex maintains a mocking expression before surrendering to the surprise attack. Thai kisses his lips several times until the other's laughter pleases his ears.
"It's okay, I don't hate you."
Finally, they leave the arcade with a completely different atmosphere; if before they were creating a multiverse, now they were certain that at least one cosmic collision had been caused. Thai offers his hand, and now he and Nex stroll hand in hand through the arcade. Nex feels the tip of Thai's denim jacket, and his hand is warm, just as he always imagined it would be.