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Vox has always been jealous of people close to Alastor. This closeness reminds him of when he and Alastor were still close. Whether they had a romantic or friendly or pure business relationship didn't matter as long as Alastor was near him. If he had to kidnap him to keep him close to him then he would do it. It was not enough, Vox felt that despite being with him he wanted more, the same more than that day at the bar. Having him just for him, being able to touch him, hug him. Everything else didn't matter anymore, nothing but him did. This obsession that he had never felt with anyone else was mixed with immense hatred. He is mad at Alastor a lot for making fun of him years ago, for making him hope for a link with him. It was all his fault. Things could have been simpler, if he hadn't told him that they weren't friends, he wouldn't have the image of Alastor in mind every second of his life, or to torture his brain by wondering how things could have been different. He wants to come back to this evening and stay there for eternity. His thoughts are mixed with the desire to make him suffer as he suffered and the desire to put his hands on his shoulders as he did so often before. Nothing makes sense anymore, his dreams, his friends, nothing is as strong as the feeling of seeing Alastor with that big and stupid smile that had melted him before but which now only makes him want to tear it off. He could recognize this smile among hundreds, he would like to be able to see this smile in the same way as before, when his lips made him everything.
Except that now the "I wish" or the weak hopes of conquering Alastor no longer have any chance. The laser that was going to be used to destroy paradise is about to explode if Vox does not stop using it. The only thing he has in mind is this stupid deer. His dream can wait- no in fact he could abandon his dreams, nothing matters anymore. Alastor is there, in front of him on the ground unable to defend himself.
He took a deep breath, his heart was beating so hard that he could no longer hear his friends begging him to stop.
"You know what..."
Vox's voice is trembling and deraying, hatred had swallowed him entirely.
"Fuck hell, fuck heaven, and fuck all of you!”
His throat knotted but still forces himself to speak, he let out a last sentence, his last sentence.
"As long as I wipe that smile off Alastor's face, I don't care what happen..."
While he is talking, a big burning tear flows down Vox's cheek.
Why he felt such a great hatred, why Alastor was the only man for whom he ever felt these feelings that never diminished, he has no idea. All he knows is that Alastor had to die, even if it meant dying with him. By dying with him he will never be able to leave him alone again.
He is ready to trigger the laser one last time, to kill them. His eyes fixed on him. It wasn't the ending Vox would have wanted, but it's the one he wants now. Dying eye in the eyes of each one.
Even in this kind of situation, Alastor's big smile was the thing he can't stop staring at. His stupid smile, oh, he hated it so much. The first thing that made him love Alastor would be the last thing he would see.
His fingers trembling he finally presses the button that triggers their last glances.