Work Text:
21/11/2025 08:40 Shock Collar
"Doctor, what are you doing in here?"
"Trying on clothes, aren't I, K-9?"
"Negative, Master. You have been staring into the reflective surface for fourteen minutes and thirty nine seconds."
"Well, I don't like to rush any decisions. I want a whole new look."
"What's brought this on, all of a sudden? I thought you liked tweeds, leather patches and that long, striped scarf."
"I don't feel as young as I was and I'm not as skilled at changing bodies as you are. You never know what you're going to get with me. So clothes it has to be."
"You don't seem to be your usual chipper self, that's for sure."
"I know. It's as if someone's editing what I'm saying and taking out all the jokes. I feel constrained and not as fun as I was."
"You don't think the Black Guardian's doing this, do you?"
"That hadn't occurred to me. Maybe he is. Maybe it's some other malignant presence that's descended on the TARDIS, hell bent on ensuring that we stop having fun? Anyway, whatever it is, I need new clothes. Can you see what K-9 has picked out for me?"
"Ooh, nice boots! I see he's gone for a coordinated colour scheme. What would you call this? Burgundy?"
"I don't know. It's a kind of scheme with deep reds, russets and purples. It's almost wine based. Maybe claret? Ooh, I know! Burgundy! It's a kind of burgundy scheme."
"Well, it's an improvement. I see you've chosen another long scarf."
"I wanted more colours in it, but K-9 put his foot down. Which is remarkable, considering that he doesn't have any feet, do you K-9?"
"Negative, Master. My propulsion system is based upon the hovercraft princi..."
"Oh! I nearly forgot! A hat! What about this one?"
"It's a little on the large side."
"Perfect! And what do you think of the shirt?"
"What is that on the lapels?"
"Just a couple of question marks. I thought I needed a gimmick, now I've had to give up on the jokes."
"A gimmick? Are you just wearing them for shock value?"
"Yes. Do you know what I'm going to call it? A shock collar!"
"Doctor, that's not what a shock collar is."
"Excellent! I'm going to enjoy wearing my shock collar. Now, we can't keep hanging around here. Things to do! Places to go! Come on, Romana, K-9. There's no time to lose!"
"Doctor?"
"Yes?"
"Do you really have to give up on the jokes?"
"It would seem so. I've entered a whole new era. Still, it's not all bad. Don't forget the question marks on the collar."
"Nobody could forget those, Doctor."