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There are certain aspects of Maya’s life that can’t be explained by Riley’s influence. They are things that Maya knows to be true, has always known to be true, and Maya refuses to let go of these tangible thoughts.
She loves Riley, will always love Riley, will never stop loving Riley until the day she dies. That’s easy. She’s felt that for years. Riley is easy to love.
She also loves Lucas, will always love Lucas, will never be able to look at him the same after at the campfire chat and his quiet admission that, he too, likes her.
The hardest part of the whole thing isn’t that she loves these two people. It’s that she loves these two people in the exact same way and she doesn’t fucking know what to do about it.
Yes, Maya’s a little fucked-up, but maybe her worst habit is that she denies herself of things because she doesn’t think she deserves them. Both Riley and Lucas have told her this. Riley while they were at the bay window one day, out of the blue, with a knowing glance in her not-so innocent brown eyes. Lucas, during a walk around the block one night, his eyes on the ground and fists clenched in his pocket.
So she never told Riley that she was in love with her because Riley is sunshine: beautiful, smart, perfect life, amazing person. Even if Riley would look at her the way Maya does (like she hung the fucking moon) it wouldn’t matter because Maya would just feel guilty for taking this wonderful person away from people that actually deserved her.
And she almost never even told Lucas she liked him because he’s exactly the kind of person that Riley deserves and who is Maya to get in the way of that? She won’t stop destiny.
She does tell him though, and she can’t even blame him for not able to decide between the two of them because neither can she. Except, Lucas is also beautiful, like Riley, but he’s a little more broken and sometimes when he used to come to her at night, she actually felt like she could fix him.
So yes, she loves them both. She loves them so much. But no, she would never take them away from each other. (She wouldn’t have even come between them if not for Riley).
Except.
Maya’s other bad habit (OK, maybe she has a lot of them) is that she forgets that she doesn’t know everything about everyone. She forgets that life is not something she can control. She forgets that people love her too.
The Ski Lodge is big and spacious and grand, but Maya only wants to see in the inside of her room. It’s sucks too, because she fucking loves snow and maybe Mr. Matthews could’ve taught her how to ski (which is laughable but a nice thought).
Maya thought that Riley and Lucas being together would make her happy, but she misses them both so much, she can’t even think straight.
The second night, Maya ventures out when she thinks she is safe. She just needs to grab some sustenance from the kitchen and then she can go back to moping (not moping, dammit, she’s stronger than that, she’s just tired).
But Riley and Lucas are sitting on the couch. Riley is resting her head on Lucas’ shoulder and, yeah, it fucking hurts.
They look comfortable. At least, until Riley looks back at her and smiles, calm as anything.
“Maya.”
Riley says her name like she knew that Maya was standing there. Riley says her name like she knows that she could look behind her at anytime and know that Maya will be there, staring longingly at her.
“Come here.”
“Why?” She says, genuinely curious. She really doesn’t think she is necessary in this.
“I need you.”
Well, Maya needs to get out of this situation, but she will always follow Riley’s orders. She sits on the corner on the couch. Riley and Lucas stay in close proximity of each other, but they are both looking at her.
“We were talking about you,” Riley says, Lucas nodding.
“Don’t you have better things to do?”
“Apparently not,” Lucas says this time. He’s smiling at her in that way that makes her heart go crazy and she has to look away.
“Maya, look at us.” Maya does what she’s told. “We love you.”
Maya doesn’t really know what to say. Like, yeah, she already knew that she was supposed to be their best friends, thanks.
Riley leans toward her, face so serene, so happy, and it makes Maya think she went looking in the Matthew’s booze cabinet, only Riley would never do that. Her high comes from being who she is at all times.
“No, Maya, we love you.” Riley lays her hands in her hair, tugging at the thick strands of blonde.
Maya looks from Riley’s beautiful face to Lucas’ but she’s still at a loss for words.
“We know you’ve been avoiding us. We know why you’ve been avoiding us,” Lucas says from behind Riley. “I’d always thought you had feelings for both of us, but Riley didn’t believe me.”
Riley nods. “Yeah, I thought you only liked Lucas this entire time.” Maya shakes her head, furiously. “I know, I know, I realized that you liked me when I figured out that I liked you too.”
Maya’s head is swimming, Riley’s ministrations on her hair leaving her entire body buzzing with electricity.
“We can’t be us without you. We all love each other too much to be without each other. Don’t you see, Maya?”
Maya does see it, a second before Riley’s lips come crashing down on hers. It’s a million fantasies in one. Riley’s hands are buried in her hair and she can’t stop kissing her, and Maya doesn’t ever want her to stop.
She does, of course. Riley’s hands cup Maya’s cheeks and she pulls them apart. Maya shifts her gaze over to Lucas, who is watching with dark eyes and his trademark kind smile.
“Take you time,” he says, and Maya has to laugh because he might not be the only guy who likes watching two girls kiss but he may be the only one who has such noble purposes of doing so.
Maya reaches across Riley (who is still playing with her hair, which, dammit, is distracting) and grabs Lucas’ solid face. It’s so easy from there, just to kiss him, and to feel his cheeks grow hot under her hands. He groans into her mouth, and Maya sinks into it. It’s different than kissing Riley, but just as good.
Eventually Maya comes up for air. She can feel both of their hands all over her and she really really likes it. She also can’t stop fucking smiling because this is all she ever wanted, these two people in front of her, and now they both want her too. It feels like a dream. God, she hopes it isn’t.
“What does this mean?” Maya asks, looking from Riley to Lucas. She’s almost too afraid to ask; she doesn’t want to burst this bubble.
“Well, it’s a little bit of a triangle,” Maya rolls her eyes as Riley laughs, “except we all love each other and we stop pretending things are so one-sided.”
Maya laughs and takes Riley’s hand. She rubs at the ring on Riley’s finger, mirrored by the one on hers.
“I would be really happy if we all loved each other.”
Lucas leans forward, putting his head close to examine their intertwined hands.
“Hey, when can I get one of those?”
Riley and Maya laugh, foreheads touching before Maya swiftly climbs onto Lucas’ lap. Jesus, he is so tall, they both are, and Maya marvels at the beauty of the man beneath her. Maya wraps her arms around his neck.
“Oh Huckleberry, it’s going to be a few years before you will get a ring from us. Maybe a bolo tie instead?”
Riley’s ensuing laughter nearly gets the three of them caught, but it’s totally worth it.