Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jack was on a mission. A search and rescue mission, just like in the spy movies. The person he was rescuing?

His Mama!

He wasn’t good with the portals but somehow, he managed to open a portal back to their old dimension so he could begin his search.

The only problem he had…

He didn’t actually know where to start looking. So, he just… looked everywhere. 

The first place he went was the old house on the island, which still remained unoccupied. It felt… sad. He didn’t like being sad. There was too much sadness lately and he hated it. It filled him with the determination to find his Mama and make all the sadness go away.

He walked through the dark house, trusting his night vision to help guide him as he started looking for clues. There wasn’t much to really look through besides the old furniture and the lab downstairs. Everything was covered in dust. The lights didn’t work, no matter how many times he flicked the switches. None of the buttons he pushed in the lab worked either. Not even a beep or a flashing screen. It smelt musty and icky. It was also cold, much too cold.

Jack tugged on the sleeves of his green sweater, so they covered more of his hands. 

After about an hour of searching and double-checking, he came up with nothing.

There was no sign that anyone had even been there since they left…

Leaving all of Mama’s stuff felt wrong. It felt like they were trying to forget about her, like they didn’t love her anymore.

That wasn’t true. Jack still loved her. Jack still loved Mama. 

He left the pictures he drew for her in colorful crayon on the fridge. Scribbles of color and smiling stick figures, depicting their happy family as they should be. He left his favorite blanket behind, folded it as neatly as he could on the counter where it still sat. He had placed her favorite mug, the one with the cute little sea creatures, right next to it. He left a couple family pictures on the counter too. One with Uncle Cosmo, Auntie Terra, Uncle Sun, Mama, and Solar all huddled together and squished into the frame. Another with just him, Mama, and Solar.

Alongside all of it was a simple note that read:

I love you, Mama!

-Jack

With little stars and pumpkins scribbled around the words.

He thought if she ever came back to the house, she’d see the things he left for her, and it would help make her sickness go away. People do bad things when they’re scared or hurt, he’s learned. Mama was hurt; she was scared… He thought… he thought it would help her remember that he loved her. And maybe she wouldn’t feel scared anymore.

He almost thought it had worked the next time they saw her.

But that thing was NOT his Mama.

He knew it wasn’t.

Mama smelt like lavender. It was a nice smell and Jack always felt safe when he smelt it, especially when he cuddled next to her after a nightmare as she hummed a song to him. Mama always smelt like lavender even if she was covered in oil from working on another project.

…

The thing that came to hurt them. The thing with purple cracks in their casing from dark star power. The thing with the blazing red eyes that Mama did not have. The thing that spoke with a stolen angry voice.

It did not smell like lavender. 

It smelt like burnt circuits and fiery ashes.

Not Mama. 

Not Mama!

No one believed him when he told them. The thing was Nexus to them. They said that a simple scent wasn’t enough proof and maybe it had faded away or something. They said he was just in denial…

But he knew. Even if they didn’t believe him, he knew. 

Jack reached up for his blanket, ignoring the small cloud of dust that puffed up from the dark green fabric as he pulled it off the counter. He stuffed it into his backpack, along with a portable charger, snackies, Pumpkin, and whatever else he had decided was important enough to bring.

With nothing left to find, Jack zipped up his backpack and slipped the straps back onto his shoulders as he headed for the door. The door opened with a high-pitched creak. Jack took one last look at his old home before turning away, closing the door behind him with another creak and a click.

~~~

The bunkers were no good. All of them were empty, completely barren. The Plex itself didn’t have anything either, especially since they had gathered up and moved all their things to the new dimension. He was running out of options in this world. 

A small thought crossed his brain to go talk to Ruin, but he quickly threw it away. Ruin was the last person he wanted to see.  

Maybe he had to try elsewhere.

Uncle Sun said that Mama ended up staying in a dimension that Dark Sun had made. Maybe if he could slip in through the portal the next time he dropped Dazzle off at school, he could search there. Or… maybe there was still a portal signature somewhere that led straight to that place. Papa- Solar had taught him that. It made it easier to find places. 

He was still at the old Pizza Plex. He wasn’t sure if Moon had deactivated the portal in the ball pit, but it was worth a shot.

Jack turned back around, bee-lining it for the daycare entrance.

Chapter Text

“Jack?” Solar called.

No response.

“Jack?” Solar called louder.

Still no reply.

He had been looking for Jack for the past hour. 

Moon was at the diner with Monty in case he went there. Sun and Cosmo were checking the neighborhood and the park. Dazzle was, luckily, still at school, completely unaware of the crisis at home. Solar and Terra were at the house, turning it inside out as they searched. Nebula also offered to help with the search, immediately coming over once she checked her and Terra's house.

Solar got increasingly more worried the longer it took to search, with millions of scenarios playing in his head. 

He didn’t know how long he was gone. He swore he saw him last night before he went to bed. He swore he watched him walk up the stairs with a sad but tired expression on his face and shut the door to the room he shared with Dazzle. He knows because his heart broke a little bit more watching his son grow more and more distant from him.

Normally, Jack would ask for a story and to be tucked in. Jack would give him a hug before bed and very loudly announce, “Goodnight, Father! I love you!” before burrowing into his blankets like some sort of woodland creature. Sometimes he’d beg to stay up later, claiming he wasn’t tired as he struggled to even keep his head up. This time, he didn’t ask, didn’t beg, just muttered ‘goodnight’.

Things had been strained between them lately, ever since the Overseer decided to target him. Solar left because he thought it was the best option to protect everyone. He left Jack in Sun’s hands because he thought it would keep him safe. 

Was he wrong to do that? Was he wrong to try to handle this himself?

It wasn’t like he could have brought Jack with him. If the Overseer or a bounty hunter found Jack before they found Solar, they surely would’ve killed him. The thought of losing Jack was far more terrifying than anything else. He’s died before; he’s seen what lays in store in the afterlife. It did scare him. But it wasn’t the idea of dying again that scared him. It was the idea of leaving everyone behind. He didn’t know what his death would cause to the family, what it would do to them. The last time he died, Nexus-

His poor heartbroken Nexus.

…

Solar sighed.

Things were better when Nexus was around, though he doubted anyone else in this family would openly admit it. He’s not saying that she was perfect. She certainly wasn’t some fairy godmother that could make everything better with a wave of her wand. But things felt safer and less chaotic when she was there, at least a lot less than how things were currently. He felt like he could take a moment to breathe, now all he could do was drown.

“Solar!” a voice yelled, pulling him out his thoughts.

Solar nearly scrambled out of the cat’s room, almost tripping on one of the cats, who yowled, hissed, and darted underneath the couch. He rushed out of the room and leaned over the upstairs banister, looking down into the living room where Terra and Nebula were. Terra held a folded-up piece of paper in her hands, her eyebrows bunched together in worry.

“You should read this,” Terra said, voice cracking, “It’s from Jack.”

It wasn’t relief he felt as he fumbled down the stairs. Maybe clarity that he could get some answers to his son’s whereabouts but the still ever growing pit of worry that sat in his stomach refused to let him hold onto that hope for long. 

He stopped in front of Terra, looking up to see glistening black tears forming in the corners of her eyes. With shaking hands, he reached for the letter in her hands. Unfolding it, he was met with colorful, messy words that only Jack could write.

Dear Papa, 

I know you’ve been feeling bad. I have too. Everyone has been feeling bad for a long time, and I don’t like it. I have learned that I can’t protect everyone, even though that’s why you made me. I also learned that sometimes a fight can’t be fought with your fists. 

Mama used to fight the monsters in my head when you were gone. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect her from the monsters in her head.

I tried to protect Mama when she got sick, but I don’t think I did a very good job. I tried to protect you when the Overseer tried to kill you and when you got sick too. I guess I didn’t do a good job at that either. Maybe because I was doing it alone.

I remember how Mama used to make you smile. I liked when she did that. I liked when she made us hot cocoa when we were upset and when she’d sing us pretty songs when we had nightmares and when she’d give me snackies after you said no. I liked how she’d give us kisses and scratches. 

I miss Mama. 

I’m going to go find Mama. 

Uncle Sun said she was up in the clouds. Somewhere called Heaven? If I don’t find her anywhere else, I’ll look there.

Love,

Jack

Heaven…

That was the only thing he could focus on on the entire page of crayon scribbles. His mind refused to move on from the thought. The terrible, gut-wrenching thought. 

If Jack didn’t find Nexus in wherever other place he looked, he might- he would-

It was simple to open a portal and end up in the vacuum of space. It was easy to enter other dimensions. But heaven and hell themselves were entirely different realms that you can’t enter by simply opening a portal. They weren’t easy to get to alive.

Jack wouldn’t-

They had been distant lately. Jack hasn’t smiled much in months, much less so recently. His usual chaotic gremlin attitude faded away rapidly. But would he ever consider… going that far?

But how long had Jack been gone? How long had he been searching? How many places would Jack search before that hope dwindles and eventually snuffs out? How long before-

Ba-bum

Ba-bum

Ba-bum

A heartbeat to his nonexistent heart beats against his metal chest as his head starts to ring, drowning out Terra’s words. Muffled, muffled sounds as his world blurs and spins. He feels multiple hands on his arms and back, guiding him down onto the floor. His breathing got deeper, shorter, and louder. His vision blurs more as something cold runs down his face. 

Oh god.

Oh, stars above.

Don’t take Jack.

Don’t take his son.

He wasn’t able to save Nexus, don’t make it the case here with his son.

Don’t take him too.