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Rand could still hardly believe that he was here, having dinner with his father again. They were at an ornate table in Rand’s apartments in the Stone of Tear rather than the old rickety one in their cottage on the mountaintop, and Rand was dressed in a fine silk coat rather than a humble wool sweater, but the feeling of it, the sense of home and familiarity, the comfort and safety of Tam’s presence—that was just the same as Rand remembered.
Rand had almost killed him. At his lowest point, consumed by paranoia and anger, jumping to conclusions about Tam trying to spy on him for Cadsuane, he’d almost killed him. But when he’d Traveled back here after his epiphany on Dragonmount, apologizing and weeping at Tam’s feet, Tam had forgiven him. Without hesitation.
All that time Rand had spent fretting about who his father truly was, but the answer had never changed. His father was the man who could see him at his worst and still choose to forgive him. Still choose to love him.
By now, they’d gotten the tears and apologies and difficult parts of reunion out of the way, and they spent dinner talking about easier things. Catching each other up on all that had transpired since Rand had first left Emond’s Field, what felt like a lifetime ago.
But there was one thing in particular that Rand was both eager and anxious to share with Tam. “Dad,” he said during a lull in the conversation, hours after they’d finished eating. “There’s also…I’ve fallen in love.”
Tam smiled. “Have you, now?” he said. “Is it anybody I know?”
“No. Well, maybe,” Rand amended, remembering that Tam had recently been in Caemlyn with Perrin’s army. “But it’s…it’s two people. I love both of them, and they both love me as well, and each other. All three of us are together.”
He watched Tam nervously, waiting for his reaction to such an outlandish statement. But the warmth on Tam’s face didn’t flicker for even a moment, and Rand relaxed again. “I’ll admit, to me that seems like a rather complicated sort of relationship to manage,” Tam said, and Rand laughed. “But I’m glad you and your partners are all happy. And glad you’ve had a chance for some pleasant things too of late, instead of only hardships. I’ve found falling in love to be one of the most beautiful experiences life has to offer.”
His expression was wistful. For Kari’s short life? For Rand’s?
“You might have met them while you were in Caemlyn,” Rand said. “One of them is Elayne Trakand, the Queen. And the other is Aviendha of the Taardad Aiel, who was living in the palace with Elayne the last time I saw them.”
Months ago. It had been months since he’d last seen them, and there was a permanent ache in his chest from how badly he missed them. An ache he was only letting himself feel now, after months of forcing it away into the Void.
This news did seem to startle Tam, far more than the revelation of two partners had. “The Queen,” he repeated. “So then, you’re about to become a father?”
Rand stared at him. About to become…? “What are you talking about?” he said, heart in his throat.
“Queen Elayne is expecting,” Tam said. “I didn’t meet her myself, or any Aiel named Aviendha—most of us stayed at the camp outside the city while Perrin went to the palace—but it was common talk among the locals, and Faile mentioned it too after they came back from their meeting.”
Rand felt like the floor had been pulled out from underneath him; if he hadn’t already been seated, he surely would have collapsed. Elayne was—but how could—it was Rand’s child, wasn’t it? It had to be, he couldn’t imagine Elayne taking someone else to bed without getting permission from both him and Aviendha first. And she wouldn’t have been able to get permission from Rand because he’d been avoiding Caemlyn and her and Aviendha.
“I…I didn’t know,” he choked out, and Tam rested a hand on his arm. “How far along…?”
“I don’t know,” Tam said. “Enough that it’s public knowledge.”
That meant enough for the pregnancy to show, Rand reckoned, which had to mean at least a few months. It must have happened during that night and day and night he’d spent in Caemlyn.
Why didn’t she tell me? was the first question on Rand’s tongue. But it wasn’t the right question. The right question was, Why didn’t I give her the opportunity to tell me?
For a long time, after Tear and the Waste, he’d thought Elayne and Aviendha were both cross with him and wanted nothing to do with him, and he’d told himself that was for the best. But when he’d arrived in Caemlyn and they’d taken him aside to clear up past misunderstandings and declare their true feelings for him, it had been so unexpected and so wonderful that Rand hadn’t been able to help allowing himself the selfish indulgence of love, even going so far as to accept their offer of bonding because he’d wanted so desperately to be close to them.
A moment of weakness, he’d later considered it. Thinking of his own desires over their safety and wellbeing—nothing good could come of loving the Dragon Reborn. But even then, he hadn’t truly been able to regret the joy of that day, or the comfort he’d continued to take from being bonded to them and having a piece of them with him wherever he went.
He’d come to his senses and fled while they slept without telling them where he was going, though he’d left a lily on the bedside table in hopes of easing any hurt they might feel upon waking and finding him gone. Because that was easier than waking them up to explain how he was feeling and ask whether he would be right to leave them behind.
Then he’d spent months Traveling all over the continent, but never to see them. Of course Elayne hadn’t told him of her pregnancy. She’d had no idea where he was, no means of contacting him.
By now, Rand only had a few weeks left to live. Why had he wasted so much of his precious time avoiding the people he loved?
“Why didn’t you know?” Tam asked him, with a knowing look in his eyes that told Rand he knew Rand had done wrong in some way. Just the way he’d looked at him in childhood when Rand had snuck extra honeycakes behind his back and sworn that he didn’t know why so many had gone missing.
Rand scrubbed at his eyes and sighed. “I was trying to protect them,” he said. “I regretted letting anything happen in the first place. I regretted admitting to them that I return their love. I thought it would have been better to turn them away, so that they wouldn’t be in danger if the Shadow figured out how much they mean to me. And so that it would hurt them less when I die. So I left again almost as soon as I told them how I feel, and I’ve been avoiding them ever since.”
Tam shook his head, but his expression was understanding rather than judgmental. “Whether or not they ought to take the risks of loving you—that’s their decision to make, not yours,” he said. “And I can’t speak to how I would have felt if there was any danger involved in loving your mum, but if I’d known that I would lose her so soon…I still would have chosen to love her and be loved by her. Every single time. The time I spent with her and all the good memories I carry with me to this day, and the knowledge that I was able to make her happy during the brief time she had in this turning, they make all the pain and grief worth it.”
Rand nodded, still with a lump in his throat. There was nothing noble or selfless about dying without even leaving Elayne and Aviendha any memories to hold onto. On the contrary, it was the cruelest option he could have chosen.
“I’ve been selfish,” he said. “And an idiot.”
Tam patted his arm. “Well,” he said. “There’s no time like the present to try and make amends.”
Rand nodded again and got to his feet, stomach fluttering with nerves at the prospect of seeing Elayne and Aviendha again. How would they react? He thought they should be cross with him, but he didn’t know if they would be, and in fact, rather doubted it. They couldn’t see into his thoughts; they might have spent all this time assuming that his absence was due only to an abundance of duties, rather than a cowardly avoidance of them.
He’d left that lily in the very hope of directing their assumptions in that direction. Even while convinced that it was better for them to be severed from him, he hadn’t been able to bear the idea of breaking their hearts. At the time, he’d thought of it as one last remnant of softness he hadn’t been strong enough to kill. Now, he recognized that it had been the last bit of his conscience holding on stubbornly, trying to steer him back to the path of goodness.
He looked at Tam. “I don’t know if…” he started to say. “That is, I want you to meet them, but not…”
“But first, it would be best for the three of you to talk alone,” Tam supplied. “Of course. I’d love to meet them any time you’re ready.”
Rand smiled, grateful for the infinite patience and understanding Tam had been giving him today. He hugged him goodbye and gathered his courage, then opened a gateway to a storage attic in the Royal Palace of Caemlyn and stepped through.
Straightaway, he felt his bonds with Elayne and Aviendha spring to life, and tears welled up in his eyes at how wonderful it was to feel them close by again, for the first time in months. Aviendha was still in Caemlyn, then; her bond felt just as vivid and detailed as Elayne’s.
Rand felt twin shock coming from both of them, and then an explosion of emotions. Joy and love and excitement, and a bit of nervousness—that was from Elayne, so perhaps she was nervous at the suddenly-immediate prospect of telling him about her pregnancy.
But there was nothing negative from either of them. No resentment or hurt. Just happiness.
Rand wove an Illusion to give himself the appearance of a palace servant, and he left the attic to follow the bonds to his partners’ location. He felt them starting to move, but then suddenly stopping again, and he imagined a scene of Aviendha trying to run to find him while Elayne held her back and pointed out that waiting here for Rand to reach them would be more discreet than sprinting through the halls of the palace late at night to find him. Or perhaps it was the other way around; Elayne was usually careful to think about how her actions would be perceived by others, but she did have an impulsive streak too.
The closer Rand got, the more certain he grew that they were both in the same location, and that that location was somewhere in the royal family’s private wing. Although as he approached the door to the Daughter-Heir’s apartments, he was surprised to sense them still another corridor away. Ah, they must have taken up residence in the Queen’s apartments, now that Elayne was finally the rightful and uncontested Queen of Andor. Rand had been thrilled and relieved upon first hearing that news, but hadn’t let himself Travel to Caemlyn to congratulate her.
He turned the corner, and the breath was knocked from his lungs as he saw Aviendha standing in front of a door down the other end, waiting for him.
She met his eyes and smiled, so much love and delight welling up in her bond, and Rand felt his throat close up. He hesitated for only another moment to drink in the sight of her—she was dressed as a full Wise One now rather than an apprentice, and her hair was longer than the last time he’d seen her, and she was even more beautiful than she had been in his memory for all these months—and then he hurried to close the distance with her.
Aviendha stepped closer too and caught him by the hand, clasping it against her chest. There was a flicker of concern in the bond, no doubt because she’d tried to reach for a second hand and found empty space, but only a flicker. Joy was foremost.
A past and more foolish version of Rand would have thought that her expression was all Aiel blankness. But to the man he was now, the love in her eyes was overwhelmingly obvious.
Rand leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers. He didn’t know what to say. But he didn’t need to—she could feel everything he was feeling.
“I sent Elayne’s guards away so that you could enter undetected,” Aviendha said.
“That’s a good idea,” Rand said. He brushed his nose against hers, not quite willing to risk a kiss until they were safely on the other side of the door. “It’s so good to see you, shade of my heart.”
Aviendha’s free hand reached up to press two fingers to his lips. “As it is to see you, shade of mine,” she said. “Come. Elayne is very eager to greet you.”
Still holding his hand, she opened the door and led him inside. Practically the moment Rand set foot into the room, Elayne was colliding with him. “Rand!” she cried. “You’re home, thank the Light, I’ve missed you!”
She was crying, and Rand was too. He dropped the Illusion weave and let go of Aviendha’s hand only so that he could hug Elayne with both arms for a few moments. “I’ve missed you too,” he said. “I love you. I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” Elayne lifted her head up out of his shoulder to look at him, tearful but beaming. “Light, I love you.”
Then she kissed him deeply, and Rand closed his eyes and kissed her back. When he’d left them sleeping that morning, he’d been half-certain he would never see them again. It felt like a dream to be here now.
He removed one arm from around Elayne in order to pull Aviendha close again. The three of them stood there for a minute, holding each other, exchanging kisses, laughing and crying and basking in how right it felt to finally all be together again.
“Rand,” Elayne said, with a burst of nerves and excitement in the bond. “We have some…some news to share.”
She stepped back from him just a bit, and Rand’s eyes dropped down to her stomach. Sure enough, it was visibly round with a child, bumping out softly draped in the fabric of her nightgown.
His hand trembled a little as he rested it on Elayne’s belly, trying to take it all in. “I know,” he said. “My dad told me. He was in Caemlyn with Perrin and heard about it.” He let out a shaky breath and lifted his gaze to meet her eyes. “Is it…how…how are you? I mean, have you been feeling well? Or—”
“I feel wonderful,” Elayne assured him, dimple coming out in full force and the nerves fading out of the bond now that she could feel Rand wasn’t unhappy. He was stunned, overwhelmed, but certainly not unhappy. “More tired than usual, but that’s all. The Wise Ones believe that channeling ability protects one from the worst of pregnancy sickness.”
“Tired? You should sit down,” Rand said anxiously, and Elayne rolled her eyes fondly and allowed him to usher her further into the room to sit on the sofa.
Rand sat beside her, and Aviendha sat down on his other side, even though she’d disdained the comfort of wetlander furniture last time he’d seen her. Perhaps months of living in a palace had softened her. Softened her in this way, at least; in the bond, that fiery, strong sense of her felt the same as ever.
Elayne took Rand’s hand again and guided it back to her belly, gently covering it with her own. “It’s twins,” she said, and this fresh news punched another breath out of him. “The Wise Ones confirmed that for me a while back. And Min had a viewing that it will be a girl and a boy, and that they’ll be born healthy.”
Rand nodded wordlessly, still trying to process everything. Twenty minutes ago, he would have never imagined he’d ever be a father, and now he had two children on the way. A daughter and a son.
He wouldn’t live long enough to meet them. The thought brought an aching wave of grief. But it wasn’t as painful as it might have been if he’d found out earlier. Finding out now, after reframing his thoughts on Dragonmount…it meant that his foremost emotion was determination to win the Last Battle for his children, to give them a better world than he’d had.
Grief that he wouldn’t get to see them live in that world, yes. But grief was different from despair. One was born of loneliness, the other of love.
“I’m sorry that you’re only finding out now,” Elayne was saying. “And that you heard it from someone else first, rather than me.”
“It’s my fault,” Rand said, looking from her to Aviendha. “I’m sorry I’ve stayed away for so long.”
Aviendha shook her head. “You carry many duties,” she said. “And you prioritize them over your personal wishes, because you are a man of much ji. This is one of your finest qualities.”
“Quite so,” Elayne agreed. “As terribly as we’ve missed you, neither of us would love you nearly as much as we do if you avoided your responsibilities to spend time with us.”
It would be so easy to end the conversation there and accept the excuses they’d made for him, but Rand couldn’t. “That wasn’t the reason I stayed away. Well, not the only reason, it’s true that I’ve had too many things to do,” he acknowledged. “But I could have found time here and there to Travel over and see you, even if only briefly. I chose not to.”
He paused to gather his thoughts. Still, neither Elayne nor Aviendha felt hurt or angry in the bonds; they just waited patiently for him to explain.
“For a long time, I mistook hardness for strength,” Rand said slowly. “And being with you makes me love life too much. I used to think that was a weakness, something I needed to cut out of my heart in order to do what I must. I used to think I needed to detach myself from the world in order to be strong enough to save it. I became…cold, ruthless. Uncaring of anyone or anything besides my plans for the Last Battle. I was…I’m glad you didn’t have to see me like that.”
His voice shook a little. Aviendha rested her chin on his shoulder while Elayne squeezed his hand, and Rand felt steadier again. He wanted to tell them everything—all the terrible things he’d done in the past few months, all the moments of weakness and lost sight. Tam, Dragonmount, all of it.
He wanted to tell them, needed to tell them, even though the prospect was difficult. But that conversation could come later. For now, the most important thing was to tell them how much they meant to him.
“Now, I know that having too much to live for isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength,” he said. “A man who has everything to lose will fight much harder than a man who has nothing to lose. And I have the world, because I have the two of you.” He glanced down at Elayne’s belly again. “The four of you.”
Elayne lifted his hand up to kiss his knuckles. “I’m so glad you’re home,” she said softly, deep emotion swirling in the bond.
“Me too,” Rand said.
On instinct, he reached for Aviendha with his other hand, then realized. But without missing a beat, Aviendha took hold of his left arm and wrapped her fingers around the stump at the end of it. Rand was grateful that she continued to refrain from asking what had happened—another difficult story for later, not for now.
“You said your father told you of Elayne’s pregnancy?” Aviendha asked. “He was in Caemlyn?”
“Yes, but he never came into the palace, so you wouldn’t have met him,” Rand said. “He’s in Tear now. I thought…if you want, maybe you could meet him tomorrow?”
He felt nervous as he said it, then smiled when he felt how touched and thrilled Elayne and Aviendha both were that he wanted to introduce them to his dad. Touched and thrilled and nervous.
“That would be wonderful,” Elayne said. “Have you told him about…” She gestured between the three of them. “Us?”
“Briefly,” Rand said. “He seemed to understand.”
“Of course he would understand,” Aviendha said. “Only a narrow-minded fool would not, and I cannot imagine one of those could have raised you.”
Rand laughed. “Thanks,” he said, then looked back at Elayne. “It’s late, and you’re tired. You should be in bed.”
“You’re not my nursemaid,” Elayne complained, but there was a burst of joy in the bond—perhaps she’d spent all these months afraid that Rand would never get the chance to fuss over her in her pregnancy. Though he was sure Aviendha had had that duty covered well enough.
Elayne got to her feet and tugged Rand up with her, then Aviendha with her free hand. “Come on,” she said. “I think we all have business to attend to in the bedroom.”
Smiling, Rand let them both lead him away.
Rand spent the whole of the next day in Caemlyn, but Traveled back to Tear before sunset to see if Tam wanted to join them for dinner. “I’d be delighted,” Tam said. “Making amends went well, then?”
“Yes,” Rand said. He’d hardly stopped smiling all day. “They forgave me. Weren’t really cross with me in the first place, even though—”
Even though they should have been, even though I deserved it. Rand cut himself off. He wasn’t going to think like that anymore, if he could help it. Elayne and Aviendha had made a game all day of pinching him with the One Power every time he tried to wallow in guilt or blame himself for something they felt was undeserved.
“Anyway, they’re excited to meet you,” he said.
“As am I to meet them,” Tam said, and he accompanied Rand through a gateway back to the palace attic.
Rand disguised them both temporarily, although he doubted anyone in the Royal Palace would recognize the father of the Dragon Reborn, and went back to the Queen’s apartments to wait for Elayne and Aviendha to finish up their respective duties and come to dinner. Elayne was nearby, perhaps in the library or Master Norry’s office, and it felt like Aviendha was out at the Wise Ones’ camp.
She was their equal now. Earlier today, after Elayne had had to leave them to attend to some business, Aviendha had told Rand about her testing at Rhuidean and the horrible visions she’d seen of a potential future.
After speaking with the other Wise Ones, I intend to take these visions not as the definite path, but as a warning of what could be, she’d said. Therefore, I will change every element of them that is within my power to change, in order to ensure that that precise path cannot possibly be followed. And the element that is most within my power is my children. Our children.
Rand had agreed with her proposition. If the two of them never had any children together, that would guarantee that the future couldn’t unfold the same way Aviendha had seen in Rhuidean. It might make it unfold in an even worse way, for all they knew, but they had to try. A chance was better than nothing.
And Rand had no objection to not having a child with Aviendha. The twins were so much more than he’d ever thought the Light would bless him with, and he wouldn’t be around by the time any child was born anyway, so it was more Aviendha’s decision than his. And in speaking with her, it was clear that she felt very little sense of loss about not having children of her own blood, because she already considered Elayne’s hers in every way that mattered.
Every way that mattered. Rand smiled as he looked over at Tam. That was how their family had always worked. Blood was the least important thing about it.
Rand kept chatting with Tam, telling him more about Elayne and Aviendha and how he’d come to know them. And sharing the news that Elayne carried twins, which Tam had not picked up from public gossip, so at least Rand had the fun of surprising him with one piece of information instead of the other way ’round.
Rand felt Aviendha come back to the palace, but she went to Elayne’s location and stayed put for a while longer. Rand would bet money that she was waiting for Elayne to finish up so that they could go to dinner together and she wouldn’t have to meet Tam by herself. He’d never known Aviendha to be nervous before; it was an endearing feeling in the bond.
Soon she and Elayne were both moving towards them, and now Rand was nervous. There was a fluttering of nerves in Elayne’s bond too, but she felt the most at ease of the three of them. Always confident in the face of a new challenge. Not that meeting Tam would be a challenge for them—he would love them, and they him, and all would be well.
The door opened and Elayne and Aviendha stepped into the sitting room. Rand rose from the sofa and hurried over to greet them. “How was your evening?” he asked, pecking Elayne on the cheek and brushing Aviendha’s fingers with his own—it was the Aiel way to be reserved with physical affection before others, so Rand would let her dictate how much she was comfortable with in front of Tam.
“Long,” Elayne said. “I’m so sorry we kept you waiting.”
“We only just got here,” Rand said, which was half-true. He certainly hadn’t minded extra time to just sit and chat with Tam, at any rate, and he was sure Tam hadn’t either.
Elayne raised a skeptical eyebrow, and Rand realized she would’ve known exactly how long ago he’d gotten back to Caemlyn thanks to the bond. But she just chuckled and looked over his shoulder towards Tam.
Rand stepped back from them and turned to see that Tam had stood too and was waiting to be introduced. “Dad,” Rand said. “This is Elayne and Aviendha. Elayne, Aviendha, my dad.”
Aviendha gave Tam a nod. “I see you, Tam al’Thor,” she said. “My water is yours.”
“Master al’Thor, it’s an honor to meet you,” Elayne said. “Rand’s always spoken of you with such love and admiration, and I’ve long hoped to be able to make your acquaintance someday.”
“I see you, Aviendha,” Tam said, returning her nod and then looking at Elayne. “And…” He hesitated, likely wondering how best to address a queen who loved his son.
“Just Elayne, please,” Elayne said. “I wish for no formality between us.”
Tam smiled. “Elayne, then, as long as you’ll call me Tam,” he said. “I’m delighted to meet you as well. Both of you. It’s only for the past day that I’ve been hearing about you from Rand, but he’s more than made up for lost time. In fact, the two of you are practically the only thing he’s spoken about all evening.”
Rand smiled sheepishly, Elayne laughed, and Aviendha gave him a warm look. Tam looked down at Elayne’s stomach and said, “And he tells me I can expect two grandchildren, not just one?”
“Indeed,” Elayne said, beaming. “And to that end, I dearly hope for the twins to have a close relationship with you, so please feel welcome to come to the palace whenever you wish. You can tell them all sorts of stories about Rand when he was a child.”
Her smile faded a little, sorrow coming into the bond. Sorrow that Rand wouldn’t be with them to hear these stories told.
Rand wrapped his arm around Elayne’s waist, and Aviendha placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. There was grief in her bond too, but it was steadied by that calm practicality with which all Aiel faced death.
Rand was grateful for both sets of feelings. He hated to cause his partners pain, and it was good to know that they would be able to face his death and bear it when the time came, but…but the knowledge that it did grieve them was a strange reassurance too. Because grief was born of love, and there had been a time when Rand had thought the death of the Dragon Reborn in the Last Battle would surely be nothing but a relief to all who survived it.
Tam’s smile had turned bittersweet as well, but when he looked at Rand, the sweetness came again to outweigh the bitterness. It breaks my heart that you won’t get the life you deserve, he’d said yesterday. But I’ll save my grief for later—for now, I want only to enjoy every moment we have together.
“I’d like that very much,” he told Elayne. “In fact, now that I’m getting on in years, I’ve been thinking of selling off the farm for a less strenuous life. Perhaps I ought to move to Caemlyn in my retirement.”
Elayne brightened again. “Oh, that would be wonderful!”
Rand smiled too. It comforted him to imagine Tam living in Caemlyn with Elayne and Aviendha and the twins, rather than growing old all alone in the house up on the mountain.
They all sat down to eat, and Tam turned to Aviendha. “How have you been finding the wetlands so far?” he asked. “Do you miss home?”
“I do, at times,” Aviendha admitted, with a wave of nostalgia in the bond. Pleasant nostalgia, though. “But my true home is wherever the shades of my heart are. So I have found myself adapting to the wetlands and their ways more easily than I might have imagined.”
Conversation continued to flow naturally as they ate. Tam never displayed a hint of judgment about the situation with their relationship, nor did he fall into thinking of Elayne and Aviendha only as Rand’s partners—it was clear that he wanted to get to know both of them on their own terms, as individuals, outside of their connection to Rand.
Though he did also want to hear more about their connection to Rand, and he seemed to enjoy hearing both of their sides of the story of how the three of them had come together. Rand had heard them before too, but he would never object to hearing them again. It still amazed him that Elayne had loved him throughout all those months he’d spent worrying about her letters, and that Aviendha had loved him throughout all those months he’d spent certain she couldn’t stand him. And it was always a delight to hear them talk about things he hadn’t been present for, like all the time they’d spent with each other in Ebou Dar, growing closer and falling in love.
At the end of the evening, Rand walked Tam to a nearby guest apartment Elayne had offered him for the night, and for as long after that as he wanted. Rand knew that he himself would be called away by duty soon enough, but he hoped he would be able to spend a few more days doing nothing but enjoying his family’s company. He had deprived himself of so many of those moments and grown shortsighted and foolish because of it.
These were the things that mattered. These were the things that made the world worth saving.
“So, what do you think of them?” Rand asked a little nervously once they’d stepped into the room and shut the door.
Tam smiled. “I think they’re both wonderful,” he said, and Rand let out a relieved breath. “And it’s clear how well-suited all three of you are to each other. I couldn’t wish for any better happiness for you.”
Rand smiled back. “Nor could I.”