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Zanka had every bit of the required qualities:
- he was hot (it wasn't even his personal opinion, many women and men who sought him whenever they visited the bar could testify to this)
- he was smarter (he'd like to think he was, to a certain degree and matter)
- he had nice curves (he was very confident of this)
- he could be a little naughty (well, once he overlooked the embarrassment that followed, he could very much be)
- he was definitely a forgiving person (if he wasn't, he would constantly have beef with Rudo and literally everyone that managed to set him off)
- and he was definitely not needy (even the thought of being clingy to someone made him shudder)
See?
He has every bit of the qualities. You name it, Zanka could say he was pretty much qualified.
Except, for one thing:
- he wasn't a chick
And it was like the first thing that Rudo said, when he unintentionally leaked the whole Enjin's Lovers Qualification while he had a chat with Tomme and Riyo.
It wasn't like Zanka eavesdropping!
He definitely wasn't all ears when he heard the word 'Enjin' and 'lover' in one sentence. He just happened to be there, sitting across them, as he polished his lovely assistaff.
It wasn't his fault that Rudo was so freaking loud.
"... and he's seriously not having a girlfriend?" Rudo frowned, like it genuinely baffled him, that Enjin hadn't seen anyone.
Riyo shrugged. "He's a busy man, I don't think there's a woman good enough to keep up with him." She then leaned forward smiling slyly at him. "Why are you suddenly interested in this whole girlfriend topic, Rudo? Did you have your eyes on someone?"
Rudo flustered so hard that, even Tomme couldn't help but laugh with Riyo and joined the teasing feast.
Zanka was glad he had mastered the art of keeping his face impassive, even if he felt like he was about to explode at the moment.
So, Enjin did have his preference when it came to someone. And well, it was pretty fillable for him.
Except for the giant one qualification: he was very much a guy, not a chick.
That was how he found himself in the Canvas Town all by himself, sneaking out in his days off to personally visit Remlin.
Remlin who looked at him with their curious eyes, probably trying to digest Zanka's weird request.
"A spell to turn you, into a woman?" Remlin frowned, their innocence only set the embarrassment off him, that Zanka hurriedly corrected them.
"Not permanently! Just for a mission," he said, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. "I need to get some information, and passing as a woman is the only way."
Remlin tapped their chin, thoughtfully.
"I never did something like that, before." Spinning the pen in their hand, they moved back and forth in their chair. "I can try though, it might not last long, but well, I can try."
There were millions of reasons why this was a bad idea.
Zanka was smart, it wasn't like he hadn't thought about the consequences, and Zanka was pretty calculative, he had weighed the pros and cons, and Zanka, unfortunately, was also pretty desperate.
He had overheard Semiu talking to Gris, how Enjin skipped more duties just because he had some hot girls to go out with. And Gris told her, how he just saw him getting into a love hotel with different women in the span of three days.
"That guy seriously needs a better outlet," Gris huffed into his drink. "I don't get it, why he keeps trying to break his own record on how many girls he could sleep with, in a week."
He heard rumors, but it was the first time Zanka heard about this. Straight from the trusted sources.
Seriously, the common room was full of important informations, if one knew how to utilize it.
"Do you want to do it, now?"
Remlin shook him from his reverie. Zanka blinked at the question.
He wasn't really preparing himself for that, at this exact moment. He wasn't entirely sure why he decided to go here.
It was stupid, it was pathetic.
Did he really want to prove to Enjin, that he could be very much someone Enjin looked for, saved for the gender?
Yes, you did, a small part of him, the most irrational part of himself, convinced him.
"Um, can you?" Zanka asked back. "I haven't prepared anything, is there any specific procedure—"
Remlin groaned. "Too complicated, you come here and I draw on you. That's all."
They looked at the ceiling. "It will take ten minutes, or fifteen maybe. I have something to do after this, but if you want, I can do it now."
Zanka swallowed hard. It was too late to back out. He was already here, it didn't hurt to try. Remlin's spell was pretty effective back in the Amo's castle.
He recalled, it was also the first time they did the spells. And it worked.
No need to worry.
Right?
"So, I just—" Zanka pointed awkwardly at the clinic bed.
Remlin nodded.
"Just lay there," they spun the pen in the air, grinning maniacally. "and let me do the magic."
Zanka hoped he hadn't just made the worst mistake of his life.
—or maybe he just did.
The worst thing about doing this, wasn't the uncomfortable clothes he stole from Riyo and Tomme (he couldn't estimate whether the change would affect his feature, so he thought, better safe than sorry), or how he had to momentarily hide his lovely assistaff (being separated from her felt awful), or the way he felt like everyone was onto him, staring at him every single damn minute.
Remlin had given him a "Wow, you're pretty," as if it was enough reassurance for Zanka, but Remlin was all he could ever get, so he had to keep that in mind, as an encouragement. He passed the reflection of himself on the mirror before he decided it was incredibly embarrassing.
Remlin, as unreliable as they were, they were also right.
Zanka was pretty.
He had a more feminine wolf cut, the mullet fell gracefully on his nape. He noticed his lips appeared pinkier and somehow glistened, as if he had applied something on them. Zanka was already slender in his true form, but he had become curvier in the right place. He horrifically realized that his chest was blooming, rather prominent and he wondered how women could survive carrying this thing their entire life.
Aside from that, Zanka thought nothing much changed. Not to the extreme at least.
(He might have just ignored a much bigger issue that was between his legs so he didn't freak out.)
In conclusion, Remlin's spell worked wonderfully.
And okay, he had just humbled himself, but he was so freaking pretty.
Hot even.
Like, the hot, hot kind of chicks, the one that hopefully fell into Enjin's category of hot.
Once again, he remembered overhearing Tamsy talking to Delmon about how Enjin loved to hang out in the bar just skirting out the town, where he seemed to pick up the women lately.
He knew exactly where it was. Enjin took him there once, not for drink, but to get some information.
Steeling himself, Zanka told himself that he would have just done the same thing, this time.
Nothing more.
Apparently, that was where he got it all wrong.
Because, the situation he was in, was definitely more than he could bargain for.
The plan was simple, to talk with Enjin, luring him with his charm, and well, dumping him because see, Zanka was qualified for Enjin and he wasn't just being delusional when he thought so.
How could it escalate, so quickly?
"Enjin—" Zanka shuddered upon hearing his voice. It was definitely not his, but it was his throat that produced the sound, it was his mouth that got the voice out.
Enjin smirked, before he leaned forward to whisper, straight to Zanka's ear. "Damn, I like it when you call my name."
Zanka tried to push Enjin away, but Enjin didn't give him an escape. He was captivated, confined in his arms, beckoning to the wall, like a prey finally fell into the predator's territory.
Enjin dived in for another kiss, and Zanka found himself, fisting his coat, pulling him even closer, not wanting to let go.
Remind him again.
How could he get into this situation?
How could he allow himself to be in the situation?
"I must not have done my job, if you're that distracted, sweetheart."
As if Enjin hadn't just scrambled his eggs by attacking his lips, he wrapped his waist to flush with his, making their distance nonexistent.
"It's—" Zanka started, but Enjin sneaked his hand behind his nape, fingers caressing the mullet and thoughts flew out of Zanka's mind.
Remlin said, the spell would last for an hour. And Zanka had—ah, the wicked tongue—enough time to get away—uh, his hand, is Enjin's hand always this gentle?—before the spell ran out its magic.
"Whaddya say, we're getting out of here, lady?" Enjin panted against Zanka's open mouth.
It took all of his might, to gather his melted brain and return to his consciousness, for Zanka to say, no.
"I can't," it came out in an embarrassingly high pitch. "I need to go."
Enjin sighed, but he didn't let Zanka go. He managed to get this far without telling any credentials about himself, because honestly Zanka forgot the whole elaborative story he had prepared, once Enjin went full on flirting with him.
If it was meant to be a one night stand, then Enjin should be familiar with rejection, wasn't he?
He wouldn't think of Enjin as someone who would force his way, when the woman he was with, was uncomfortable.
But the grip on him hadn't eased, hadn't lessened.
In the dark alley, Zanka was trapped with Enjin still.
He still had enough time before he changed back, but he would hate to use the remaining time to fight Enjin off. He was pretty sure Enjin wouldn't hit a woman, but honestly Zanka didn't know if he had his other way to make them stay.
Fortunately, Enjin decided to let him go.
"Aw, shucks," he huffed in disappointment. "I'm just getting into it."
Zanka breathed in relief, when Enjin stepped back.
Fixing his outfits, Zanka was just about to bid a proper goodbye when Enjin rummaged through his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.
"It's a pleasure to make an acquaintance with a pretty lady such yourself," he grinned, as he flicked the flame on.
"Likewise," Zanka cleared his throat.
Enjin huffed the smoke in the other direction, so as to not get it on him, and led him out of the alley way.
Zanka couldn't believe it went so well.
That was until Enjin leaned to the wall and said, "Tell Remlin, they've done a great job."
Zanka whipped his head, he swore he heard a crack. Pretty sure the blood had drained from his face too. But Enjin merely grinned and winked at him.
"You're pretty hot for a chick, Zanka," he flicked the ash off his cig. "Though if I may say, you look even hotter as a man."
Zanka couldn't move a muscle, he couldn't utter a single word. Enjin was kindly pulling him by his waist and guiding him away from the alley they were in. The street was full of people, and with Enjin's noticeable presence, Zanka was sure those eyes were directed to him as well.
"I bet Rudo ran his mouth and you got crazy ideas in your head because of that?" Enjin chuckled when Zanka tensed in his arm. "Damn, that kid should learn to shut his cakehole."
Zanka glanced at Enjin, but Enjin didn't look upset, if anything he seemed amused.
Zanka didn't know how to feel about this whole situation.
"In case he didn't tell you, I like 'em smarter than me, with nice curves, a bit of naughtiness in them, and definitely forgiving because I'm gonna annoy them a lot." Enjin herded him to the sidewalk. "Oh, I also told Rudo, it's gotta be hot chicks."
Zanka could feel his face burned with embarrassment. Not only did he get caught by Enjin himself, he also failed to outsmart him.
"And I also tell him, my flaws is that I can't hide that part of myself."
Only then, Zanka realized Enjin had just brought him to the less crowded area. Wasn't as secluded as the seddy alley way, but it was more open and had less people around.
Enjin scanned his surroundings before his eyes sparkled at the sight of an empty bench, which he immediately went to sit on, pulling Zanka to go down with him.
"What I didn't tell him, was my strength because I didn't think it was relevant at that time," Enjin continued. Even after they sat, he didn't let go of Zanka's waist. "That I can hide another part of myself. Pretty well, actually. That even a smart guy like you can't even tell."
Zanka braced himself to croak a small, "What?"
Enjin huffed out another smoke. "That I don't just like the hot chicks," he casually said, before he turned to Zanka, squeezing his waist gently. "But personally, it's also the hot guys."
Zanka's mouth dried at that.
Surely, Enjin didn't say what he thought he said—
"Just a warning, Zanka," Enjin stubbed the cigarette, with a grin. "I need you to pay me back for the whole Kyouka-like nightmare you just pulled."
Zanka flustered. What?!
"Damn, you two really look alike," Enjin didn't bother to hide his shudder. "I need my Zanka guy to make me forget about this Zanka chick slash Kyouka mashup."
Honestly, aside from the slow realization of what had just happened, Zanka didn't know how to feel about that.
Oh well, at least his plan worked. Even if it took a slightly different direction than he hoped for.
Told you, Zanka had every bit of the required qualities.
And the most important quality above all: he's Zanka.