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All queer stories still flow, but course hidden in sleeping rock beds, ebbs with the tide, splashing and waiting for the waterways to converge into liberation.
There is something familiar about how the corners of Yushi's lips curl into smile, desperately trying to avoid being obvious but still relapsing everytime he sees Riku. He holds his hands to his hair, running through his face. Body language doesn't lie, and he smiles and steals glances despite shaking his head, trying to hide whatever he could as he thumped the table.
"He's so obvious and down bad. He should stand up." written in kanji, hangul, and english Yushi's seen it all, with Sakuya being perpetually online showing him much of the intake on Wish.
"People think you like Riku." Sakuya says, teasing, which gets Yushi annoyed, his face painted into frowning lines not fit enough for broadcast. Sakuya has tried it before, releasing that picture of them contorted into whatever position that was that had kuu-kuu fans saying they were dating.
"I don't care what they think." Sakuya assures him.
"But do you?"
Yushi smacks him again which was answer enough.
>>
Riku has been watching Yushi's live, seeing Ryo oblige to the chess game that Yushi had the advantage with because for one, Yushi had a chess set and played with random strangers online. The older has hinted yesterday that he wanted to learn how to play and if Yushi could teach him, but they weren't roommates so he pretty much resigned to Jaehee playing with Yushi this entire tour. But when he sees Ryo playing, he knows he had no excuse and he stands up despite being in love with the comfort of lying in bed and goes to where Yushi was. He doesn't even bring Sion, they've spent 2 and a half hours yesterday and pretty much the rest of this upcoming tour.
Besides, Yushi said he would teach him.
The chess set was already back in its wooden container, and Yushi was no longer in the mood to play and obviously teach. And Riku looks so beautiful in his black long sleeves, his bare face with all his conventionally attractive features and his inner warmth and how his brown skin twinkles gold under the fluorescent lights.
They push Yushi's hair back for the stage today, which SM barely ever styles. And Riku acknowledges it, calling him pretty many times over.
"Pretty Yushi."
"You're so pretty."
"Don't you look pretty today."
"Your red carpet outfit was really pretty." And Yushi feels even more confident in it, because Riku likes seeing him in it.
Ryo taps on his scalp which makes Riku preen Yushi's hair, holding it like a blade of grass, caressing into his scalp.
He knows Yushi loves being called cool so he says it.
"You really were so cool today. You looks like a prince."
Yushi's a bit taken aback, he's used to hearing that prince rhetoric with Sion which SM even printed on a shirt, but Riku drapes his arm on his shoulder and touches him like he's being conditioned to believe that Riku wouldn't lie to him.
"Whose prince?" Yushi asks, thinking Riku wouldn't acknowledge him at all before getting landed the blow.
"Mine."
And that was a lot- there's possession and acknowledgment and a want that Yushi could only giggle at.
When Yushi squeezes Riku and alludes to him as mine, using the chess set as scapegoat, his warmth reminds Riku of memories, like he's forgotten how to be held. He likes when Yushi squeezes him tightly, when Yushi's grasp extends to the contours of his ribs. When Yushi touches him, it feels like being in storied sands and he returns home to his mother's embrace.
"Yesterday, Yushi kept looking and it was really cute."
"But there was nothing to do."
"Good job."
If you didn't know their dynamic, it would seem really patronizing. Riku praises Yushi for simply breathing and existing. But Riku loves like that- he loves holding another's hand, spanning his long fingers to steady and affirm. Riku has always felt unconfident, but Yushi and wish has cheered him on, which makes him want to stand brighter at bigger stages. Riku is an unveiling masterpiece, and the audience who gets to see his brilliance is the beneficiary. The whole world rings to his dance and laughter.
There's so much intimacy being in such a small space with someone you like, and Yushi can only steal glances because he feels like he'll give too much away if he looks for too long. He can't touch Riku like he can others, and can only slightly rub his pinky or graze his shoulder fleetingly. When Riku sees that, he respects it and touches him the same amount before permanently draping his arm on Yushi's shoulder. He leaves it there, like his humerus attaches to Yushi's scapula, and Yushi's grazes come and go. With Riku, there's a pathway to walk with and a way to walk back.
"It's hot." Yushi says before Riku hides behind him, giving him a firm embrace, breathing on his back, the same unknown tension, barely visible to the audience eye, apt since that belonged only to them.
Ryo jokes about it at one point, saying that Riku should bite Yushi's cheeks too since it's normal, demonstrating it on Sakuya. Ryo is observant and has seen this unfold since forever and he pushes them in the right direction, but Yushi fidgets with his hair and sideeyes at this because nobody else aside from Riku was part of this relationship. Certainly not the other members, or the audience on Weverse. What he has with Riku wasn't performative, it was his heart on his sleeve trying to deal with being open as an idol but keeping enough for their relationship to grow by themselves.
When Riku leaves, Yushi feels like he holds his head above water again. When he's with Riku, his feelings get too deep that he feels like he might drown. There's discomfort in liking someone so much, so much that you don't want them to leave. In the silence, Yushi fills it, with the thought that Riku finally gets to rest. Yushi wants to kiss him so bad and fill the spaces in between. Yushi wants to be tongued by Riku, to be held softly, to have their history exist without the erasures necessary to function as an idol.
Riku knows the language that deserts his mouth. His mumbled incoherences, everything Yushi speaks is so clear because Riku looks to him with love. Yushi wants to curl up with Riku and bunch up in blankets, and see his face in every kind of light. He wants to nod to when Riku wakes him up again, and turn to the side and see him there.
Because Riku will turn his head to face him and kiss his forehead and Yushi will pretend Riku never woke him at all.