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“Looks like you’re more educated than she is.”
Her words start ringing in my head.
“You want to go visit a library?” You nod. “I do have some books on my shelf though, don't you want to look at them first?” You shake your head.” I suppose it wouldn't hurt, you don't seem to do much with your free time here. Still, an odd request coming from you.” You tilt your head slightly. “Give me a bit to get ready.“
“So what kind of book are you looking for anyways? I doubt the Soldats left a copy of that book lying around in a library.” You stare blankly, realizing that you don't really know what you're looking for either. The “mad tea party” wasn't the first time Mireille mentioned your lack of knowledge in these matters, literary knowledge has little use in matters of assassination after all. You also only attended a few months of classes back in Kanagawa, and it seems that they have gone through any sort of literature long before you arrived. Your reason for this whole excursion was simply just a nagging yet unexplainable feeling relating to this.
She notices you lost in thought and sighs. “The library should be big enough that something is bound to catch your eye. We have time to visit more than one if you need to.” She says as the two of you arrive at your destination. This isn't the first time you've been in a library. Just recently the two of you battled inside one as part of a hit, yet this is the first time you've entered one for its intended purpose.Mireille follows you as you almost mindlessly walk in the isles, the spines of the books blending together occasionally broken up by people. Eventually, you spot a certain “Alice in Wonderland”. As you reach for it, Mireille looks over you amused. “So that's why you wanted to go here… If you wanted to know more about it I would have gladly told you the story myself.” She chuckles. You are more focused on the book, skimming through the pages. You don't particularly know what to do or how to act, you haven't read, much less done anything for leisure so the situation slowly starts to feel awkward. You sheepishly put the book back on its shelf.
“Not your type?” She asks while reaching out for another book. “I haven't read this for a good while but I can tell you it isn't your type. We're already surrounded by enough darkness in our lives.” The two of you slowly explore more of the library. Another boon catches your eye, a story about the criminal underworld. You skim through it wondering why anyone would want to read stories like this, before finding yourself annoyed and promptly returning it back to the shelf.
The two of you exhaust the options and head to the front desk, Mireille seems to have decided to borrow some books while you're empty handed. “You were interested in some of these so I decided to borrow them. Haven't gotten the chance to read and relax anyways so it's a win for both of us.” Now that you think of it she does seem well read. You remember her quoting someone with the name Poe. She also caught on to the origin of Prince Myshkin's name immediately. One of the books she borrowed is authored by Dostoevsky, maybe she likes their works.
“I'm feeling a bit hungry, so let's get something to eat.” You two head out of the library in search of food. The thought of Mireille borrowing the books purely just for your sake appears but you quickly shove the thought out. Surely Mireille borrowed them to relax herself, it's just purely coincidental that some of those books happened to be the few you showed interest for. “All that walking has me in the mood for a cafe, at least they'll let us sit and read there.”
You see yourself reflected on a cup of black tea, the color reminding you of something else. Mireille sips coffee as she reads one of the books she borrowed. “You should pick one to read.” She gestures at the pile she haphazardly threw onto the cafe table. “You only skimmed some of them, we'll be here for a while so you could probably finish a chapter or two.”
Picking one from the pile, you open one book as the words turn into a blur. Your mind wanders far from the words on the page. Once again you question why visit a library. The nagging feeling had to come from somewhere, Surely there's a reason for it. An attempt at normalcy perhaps? Not a particularly satisfying answer… nor is it a particularly good attempt. Insecurity? Well doesn't that count for a lot of things? It doesn't narrow down any concrete answer. You slump down in defeat, frustrated both by your lack of answers and the same nagging feeling. You finish your tea as you watch Mireille order dessert, the nagging feeling softness slightly when looking at her. She orders for the both of you as she checks where to go next. “The next library isn’t too far from here, we could go but the sun is starting to set.” She waits for your response as she finishes her dessert. “You want to head back? Are you sure? You didn’t look particularly satisfied with what you were reading.” You nod. “Well you never really do look satisfied, let’s head back then.”
You glance at the bag that Mireille’s carrying, the books she picked out for you to read. “Maybe you’ll finally be able to catch the things I reference when you get through them.” She jokes. Ah, that’s it isn’t it? That’s the reason for this nagging feeling. The reason for this entire excursion. “Maybe.” You reply with a slight smile on your face, one that remains unseen to her.