Work Text:
I still remember that day like it was yesterday.
The orange rays of sunlight crashing against our forms, splattering our shadows against the pavement, the walls, the wounds we’d left behind.
You were there, crying, pleading, asking me if it would be okay.
If it was fine for you to stay.
Of course it was, silly.
The last thing I ever wanted was to lose you…
…
“Hghn…” Stifling a yawn that would have been decidedly not cute at all, the girl named Ena Shinonome woke up as the hallowed light of the sun pierced through the pink curtains of her room, coming to illuminate it completely.
In spite of her annoyance, perhaps because she had slept earlier than usual, the artist felt quite awake and ready to go about her day! It was a strange thing, in fact. Ena was definitely not a morning person, she had never hidden that, but for once, the sun was fairly low in the sky, and she was full of energy and good vibes. She’d even woken up by herself, without that useless brother of hers. Hah!
Getting her covers off of her, the girl slowly got up from the bed, nearly losing balance and falling like an idiot, but managing to recenter herself with shocking ease. It was a little bizarre. She wasn’t the clumsy type, at least she didn’t think she was. It just felt as though she wasn’t used to her own legs. But she dismissed the peculiar feeling as nothing but her own sleep-addled imagination.
…
“Ough…hghn–” With a splitting headache and a particularly unpleasant feeling that she had not had enough sleep, Mizuki Akiyama woke up, while the sun behind her closed curtains had still not quite reached the state where it would blind her into waking up. Perhaps that’s why she felt the way she did, and that way was very grumpy.
Her limbs felt lethargic, her eyes hurt and she could swear she felt some kind of distinct ache in her right wrist specifically, for some reason. Regardless, a bad morning was no reason to not start the day on the right foot, and that’s exactly what Mizuki would have done.
“Ah–” If she hadn’t completely tripped over her own foot while trying to get out of bed, ending up completely sprawled on the floor, now adding an external component to her headache.
“Ow, ow, ow…” She wasn’t usually this clumsy, and when she was, she at least had the balance to save her own ass. But Mizuki could do little else than chalk it up to having woken up on the wrong side of the bed. It happens!
Yet even then, why had her chest hurt more than usual when she fell?
…
Usually, first thing in the morning, Ena would find her phone on the bedside table and scroll until she felt ready to start her day. However, she felt she could forego the step entirely today, instead opting to head towards the bathroom and wash her face. Hopefully, that rat bastard Akito would not have infested the place. She always hated going there after him. He would keep using the wrong hand towel, even rub his stupid face on it! Death penalty!!! Nothing less!!!
But that’s when the sensation that something was incredibly wrong overtook her every sense. Because there was a full body mirror in her room that she most certainly should not have had.
…
First things first, Mizuki desperately needed to wash her face and find some trace amounts of energy within her to kickstart this day better than it already had. But it was alright. Her parents were pretty late risers, she’d likely have the bathroom aaaaall to herself, to her greatest glee. A pretty girl’s time alone in the bathroom is one of the most precious things in the world! And so, with glee in her step, she trudged off.
And that’s when it fell apart, as the moment she opened the door and arrived at the bathroom, somehow much faster than it should have taken her, she came face to face with the large mirror within.
“W-What…the heck..?”
…
“H…uh?”
…
Despite the distance that separated them, the two girls shrieked in front of their mirrors, for it flashed not the person they were, but each other.
…
The air within the Empty SEKAI was as cold as always that day, although one could notice a distinct, peculiar atmosphere to it that felt alien. Like waking up in the wrong skin, or putting on the wrong shoes. It wasn’t normal, is what it felt like.
Perhaps it could also be explained that nothing, and Ena truly did mean NOTHING, was normal about the circumstances currently leading to her staring at herself, albeit a version of herself that looked much…meeker.
“I need an explanation RIGHT now.” Ena’s voice came out all wrong. It wasn’t even her voice, it was quite obviously Mizuki’s now that she could hone onto all the reasons why her morning had been so weird.
The slight feeling of being off-balance, waking up to the morning sun, being generally happy to be awake even. It all added up to the fact that Ena Shinonome was not Ena Shinonome right now. She was in the body of one Mizuki Akiyama.
“Believe me, I really want to understand too!” Before her, the girl in Ena’s skin was, assuredly, not Ena Shinonome. It was Mizuki Akiyama. Despite looking like Ena, sounding like Ena, and even having that awful morning hair like Ena would when she woke up especially grouchily, she could not possibly be Ena. Because Ena was her, and only her.
So, it was a logical assumption to make that Ena was in Mizuki’s body, and Mizuki was in Ena’s body. It made sense.
“NO IT DOESN’T??? WHAT EVEN IS HAPPENING?!”
“Aaaaa, Ena p-please calm down! Seeing myself so angry is…so not cute.”
“WE HAVE MORE PRESSING PRIORITIES THAN HOW CUTE YOU ARE!”
“Oh, so you do think I’m cute~?”
Ena couldn’t even comprehend in a million years how Mizuki could joke at a time like this. This was terrifying, awful, incredibly scary and utterly nonsensical.
“Urgh…look. I have no idea what’s happening here, and you clearly don’t either. Have you seen any of the Virtual Singers around? Maybe they know something.”
“I haven’t… Usually Miku would at least be around here, but this place feels…empty. Uh, emptier I mean.”
It really rubbed Ena the wrong way to see herself talk so…stupidly. In that same silly cadence of Mizuki’s. She didn’t know whether she should cringe or rage at this state of affairs.
“But hey,” Mizuki started speaking suddenly, her tone still just as meek, “isn’t it fine if we just…stay here today? Might as well skip school and wait until the night, these things usually end in a day!”
Furrowing her brow and pinching the bridge of her nose, the Mizuki-sounding Ena was bordering on the edge of insanity.
“Mizuki, these things do not usually HAPPEN to begin with! We have no idea how long it will last. I think it’s better if we learned to live with it for now. Besides…didn’t you have an exam today?”
“Ah–” Of course she had forgotten. If Ena threw a rock at Mizuki’s head it would resonate like a church inside.
“And also, I have to deliver my latest assignment to the workshop, and there’s literally no way I’m missing that deadline. You’re gonna have to attend today.”
“Ehhhhh?? But I don’t know how to draw like you! I’m not some genius paintress…”
The compliment threatened to almost get to Ena’s head, and that was in spite of the greater distance now required for anything to traverse her taller body.
“Look, today’s mostly going to be feedback day. You just have to listen to Yukihira ramble on and take notes. I’ll parse through them in the evening.”
“O-Okay ma’am!” Seeing her own body suddenly tense into an army salute made Ena want to facepalm the body that wasn’t hers.
“Be serious. Meanwhile, I’ll take your test. You’re a second-year, so it’s not like it’ll be too hard.”
Ena did not have any apprehensions about her own share of the task, although going to morning school would prove to be a daunting challenge for someone who hadn’t done so since middle school. But it would be fine. Her body felt shockingly energetic and ready to move. She was almost jealous of her physique frankly.
And that trail of thought led her to actually realize something rather crucial that she had completely forsaken until now. She wasn’t just in Mizuki’s life, but in Mizuki’s body.
A different body meant so many things. Even the slightest cursory glance could reveal Ena was now decidedly…flatter. She was also thinner though, and that did feel nice. The smaller details now seemed to unravel before her, such as the length of her fingers, the way her shoulders felt sturdier, the lack of a pronounced hip, her bigger shoe size.
“E-Ena? Wait! What are you…doing?”
“Hm? Well, aren’t you even a little bit curious to see how different things feel? I mean, you’re so tall, it’s kinda unfair. So you’ve always been looking down on me like this, eh?”
The look of embarrassment on Mizuki’s face, or rather her own face, was priceless, almost making her forget that she was still looking at her own face. But it was funny how shy Mizuki seemed to be about the whole ordeal. I mean, sure, their bodies were very different and all, but they were both girls, so who cares? It’s not like there was anything–
“Ah.”
Suddenly, like a flash of tempestuous lightning had struck the very top of Ena’s scalp, she had a realization, most likely in the same way ancient prophets were given the sight of the Gods.
No, there was a pretty significant difference, an elephant in the room that she had not only not addressed, but also completely forgotten about.
“Umm…” And now it was Ena’s turn to color Mizuki’s face in a red tinge of shame and embarrassment.
…
Of course, Mizuki had immediately seen the elephant in the room. She was stupid, but she wasn’t blind.
This whole entire body swap thing might have been a funny, silly little game under other circumstances, and she would have gladly messed with Ena until the end of time. But there was a key difference between the two girls that made it impossible for Mizuki to relax for even a second.
There was no real need to avoid saying it, she was trans. Well of course she was. It was a fairly obvious fact about herself that she had internalized enough to not have to constantly think about it, but it was still about as self-evident to her as the pinkness of her hair, or the cuteness of her skirts.
Ena, meanwhile, unless a particularly shocking and nonsensical plot twist was about to be revealed, was not trans. And that was fine! Mizuki knew a lot of cis people, some were even her friends! But right about now, that distinction happened to be extremely problematic since her body was hers, and her body was hers.
Mizuki looked down, noticing with a mix of euphoria and bashfulness the…softness around her chest. She also felt a lot more petite, compact, like everything had been shrunk down around but fleshed out within. She had more fat around her stomach, but it was a healthy, rather comfortable amount.
Honestly, for a brief second, Mizuki wondered if she could just let things continue like this, because this was practically a dream come true.
“MI-ZU-KI. WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO FIX THIS!” Alas, as soon as Ena herself understood the ramifications, she had suddenly become a lot less lax about her ongoing ‘body exploration’ routine.
“Y-Yes…but we still need to make it through this day.”
“Urghhh…” It was quite silly to see her own face emote in such angry, frowny ways. In fact, it reminded Mizuki of herself in middle school, and a vague feeling of bitter nostalgia swept through her heart, though this memory only further opened another can of worms.
“You’re…gonna have to go to school then?”
“Well, yeah. Didn’t we literally just say that you had an important exam? That part’s easy, leave it to me.”
“Y-Yeah, the exam…hum…” That was not what Mizuki was worried about in the least. Who cares about some stupid exam? Ena had never been to the morning classes in high school. She had not walked around with Mizuki only to hear the passing remarks, the faint jeers, the thinly veiled insults, and she shouldn’t have had to anyway.
Mizuki was scared of having Ena live through her own hell.
“Mizuki? You’re looking at me all…sad and stuff. And I know you are, I recognize my own sad.”
“A-Ah…sorry, it’s just–” How could she even convey it with words?
Mizuki…had always been different. This, she knew. This, she accepted. She had long since made peace with the facets of her body that she would have to shape herself, as opposed to the other girls around her who would, in time, grow into said facets. She didn’t think she was dysphoric on average either. All in all, her body was fine, and all the flourishes she could work with in the way of makeup and outfits completely nullified most of her bad feelings at any given day.
But that didn’t mean she wasn’t different, and for the longest time, she earnestly wished for the people closest to her, those dear, precious friends she had made over a common goal and passion, to not know that. To simply see her as ‘just another girl’, rather than ‘the girl who was always a little different’.
Everything had turned out fine, in the end. Ena and the others had learned of what she’d safekept all these years and accepted her with open arms. Not out of pity, but simply because, to them, she was still Mizuki. And that felt wonderful, blissful. However, this situation brought back those fears to the forefront. Because it was one thing to accept someone’s differences. It was another to acknowledge and go beyond them. And it was an entirely different thing to directly have to live those differences.
“Ena…I’m sor–”
“Haaa…I’m so jealous, y’know?”
“Huh..?” Mizuki was stunned, completely cut off in her inertia right as she was about to apologize.
“Your body’s so thin! Lucky… And I feel so energetic, like I could run a marathon!”
What was Ena even talking about? Was she simply trying to avoid mentioning what they both knew? No, that wasn’t good. This would only further delay the inevitable moment when Ena would realize all there was to hate and feel disgusted by that body of hers. She couldn’t–
“Oi, look here for a sec!” In her spiraling, Mizuki had not realized that the girl who wore her face had closed the distance, and was a literal second away from–
“Owie!”
–flicking her forehead in an effort to grab her attention.
“Enanan…that was mean…”
“Then listen to me, you dummy.” She quickly threw a bashful look to the side, the pink of her cheeks coinciding with the color of the hair she now sported. “Obviously our bodies aren’t the same. There’s…no need to like, pretend otherwise. But so what? We have different colored hair, different cup sizes, and different…other stuff!! Who cares?!”
“W-Who cares..? I mean, isn’t it a pretty big deal?”
“Nope! It isn’t!”
Mizuki thought she was going insane. Was Ena this decided on deluding herself to the very end? It beggared belief. No one in their right mind would–
“Ah–!” But before she could think any further, the strangest thing happened…
She was being hugged…by what looked like herself.
“See..? Doesn’t this feel nice and warm?”
It really did. Even if it was her own body, with which she’d always had a complicated relationship, the feeling of being hugged by someone taller than you was really comforting and nice…
“This is not something I could do for you. So perhaps, there aren’t only bad differences.”
“Ah…Ena…” Mizuki finally realized what she was being told.
Yes, they were different, and there was little use denying those differences. However, this didn’t have to be a bad thing for Mizuki. The parts of her body that she couldn’t easily cherish, Ena had already found a way to make the best use out of. For example, her height, which at times made her feel inadequate, was now a gentle cocoon she could hide within.
She embraced the artist in return, letting her arms squeeze at her own back. It felt strange, for certain. But at the end of the day, Mizuki was embracing Ena, and Ena was embracing Mizuki.
So why would there be any problem?
A few seconds later, they were once again at a slight distance, looking at one another with content, peaceful smiles.
It was then that, shattering this bubble of love and comfort, Ena spoke again.
“I’m still…going to need some instructions though.”
The expression she flashed at that time was so shameful and embarrassing for her own face that Mizuki laughed out loud, letting Ena’s voice echo in a tone it rarely had a chance to.
It’ll be fine…
If it’s Ena…today will be alright.
…
School was not especially more exciting during the day. As obvious a statement as that was, the listless sigh that escaped ‘Ena’”s lips was proof enough that she had expected at least something more eventful than the same useless chores, albeit with brighter sunlight all around.
It wasn’t all bad though. Being a part of the morning classes meant seeing some familiar faces, as well as the people whose friendship Mizuki cherished. People who had, when push had come to shove, helped figure out a way to save her as well. Even if Ena herself could have stood to know them better, they were inevitably comforting and important presences in her best friend’s life. And that was enough for her to see them amicably too.
“Heeeey, Mizuki!” This cheerful voice that greeted her belonged to one An Shiraishi, someone she best knew to be her annoying brother’s partner in music. Not that she kept tabs or anything. She didn’t care at all. Not one bit.
“Hi, Sh– A-An..!” Well, that was a rough start.
“Hm? What, you caught Toya’s cold or something? Then again, if you had even a hint of a bad cough you’d have just taken the opportunity to laze around, right~?”
“Ahh– haha, yeah I wish! Unfortunately I got this exam later today, it’s such a hassle…”
“Aww, chin up! You’ll make it out okay!” In a surprisingly friendly move, An lightly tussled Ena’s – read, Mizuki’s – hair a bunch, something that awoke quite warm and fuzzy feelings in her bosom.
“H-Hey! Don’t mess with a girl’s hair, that’s practically her lifeline!”
“You’ll be fiiiiiine, pretty girls don’t die that easily!” Sheesh, was Shiraishi always this…flirty with people? Ena had heard through the grapevine that she had quite the close rapport with another girl from Akito’s circle, but maybe she was…something of a free soul?
Wait, why did any of this even matter? Who cares who flirts with this idiot?!
Fortunately, before she could think of an answer to chase those flustered thoughts away, the school bell rang its annoying chime, signaling to all that the first period was about to begin.
“Ahh, not good, not good! I gotta fly, see ya later Mizook!”
And off she ‘flew’ down the corridor.
Wasn’t she a hall monitor..? Way to set an example.
…
Ena figured there had to be a special place in hell where all you did was listen to the same classes you’ve had to listen to a year prior, because the specific level of boredom that experience had granted her made her nearly want to jump through the window and into the courtyard, hoping the fall would leave her legs intact so she could run away and disappear.
Regardless, now that she’d successfully survived her first four hours here, there was something Ena needed to reckon with.
Something was definitely off.
It wasn’t any one thing that she could easily pick apart, but as opposed to her own experience in class, everyone felt…more distant? And not necessarily from each other, but specifically from her. Sometimes, especially during the small breaks in-between classes, she could hear faint whispers from around her back. And yet, every time Ena turned to check, there was nothing, just silence. Then, she would swear someone was watching her, looking her way, but she would never make eye contact with that observer. In fact, she didn’t think she had made eye contact with a single person since talking with Shiraishi.
Was she just being paranoid? Was this some kind of unspoken day class thing that everyone thought normal? Or…was there something else beyond this strange veil of uncertainty grasping at her heart?
Right as Ena thought she would unravel beneath this invisible pressure, another familiar face approached her, with a face full of soft kindness.
“Greetings, Akiyama. May I eat lunch with you?”
“Oh, it’s you…” Ena think, for god’s sake just think for once in your life, his name was– “Toya!”
“Yes, it is indeed…I?” Ah, that definitely sounded weird.
“Hahaha…don’t mind me, I was just happy to see you!”
It was an actual boon that Mizuki was, in spite of being a dummy, quite charismatic and friendly in general. She could easily pass off any weird oddities of her behavior as goofy playfulness, and they’d eat it right up–
“You have quite a different air about you today, Mizuki. Is something the matter?”
Nevermind, apparently she could NOT pass off some things that easily. The boy’s eyes were filled with compassion, but also a slight tinge of worry, like he was deliberately being considerate of anything that could affect Mizuki in a negative way.
Once again, it warmed Ena’s heart to actually see such compassion from Mizuki’s school friends. She was aware Mizuki had it rough in this environment, but at least she wasn’t alone.
That also meant Ena had a duty not to worry her friend’s friends for nothing.
“Nope! I guess I just woke up a bit weird today, hehe~...” It wasn’t even a lie, and perhaps because of that, Toya’s face noticeably softened.
“I’m glad then. As for me, I seem to have caught a bit of a cold, which is why I took the morning off.”
His expression suddenly grew dimmer, more serious, as though he was about to talk about something of utmost gravity.
“The test…I couldn’t afford to miss it.” All for it to instantly crumble when it ended up simply being about that stupid exam. Was Toya always so weirdly intense about really inconsequential things?
Regardless, she had a role to play here. “Haha…yeah, talk about a bummer. I’m glad you feel better though, but do take care of yourself ‘kay?”
“Of course. I would be betraying Akito’s trust if I was a lousy enough partner to fall ill at the slightest breeze.”
Ena had to desperately hold back a reflexive groan at the mere mention of her useless brother. And yet, when she saw the twinkle in Toya’s eyes at said mention, the artist felt so conflicted she could vomit a trolley problem.
In effect, she supposed it was…nice that her brother was also having such important friendships to his name. Still, she didn’t care. Hmph.
As the food from her homemade lunch sat idly in front of her, ready to be devoured, the call of nature suddenly made itself known in Ena’s system, in a way that decidedly wasn’t the same, but that still required addressing.
“Ehm, I’ll be right back! Keep my seat, okay?”
“But of course, take care.”
As she mused on the question of why Toya Aoyagi constantly talked like some fantasy prince, Ena swiftly walked down the hallway in order to get to the bathroom. Fortunately, it wasn’t so long ago that she was a second year herself, so finding the room would not be a problem in the least.
Of course not, the problem would be elsewhere.
“Hey, isn’t that…”
“...definitely, yeah.
“...why would they even–”
“It’s weird…”
Huh? Something strange was happening, and it was much easier to parse this time than her vague feeling from the past few hours.
She could swear people where…whispering, talking in hushed tones around her…about her. Or rather, about Mizuki. The further she walked down the hallway, the more they multiplied, amplified by Ena’s unfortunate tendency to lend an ear anytime she thought she was being mentioned. Curiosity did kill the cat, after all.
“Did you hear what happened–”
“...no it was, I’m just surprised…
“Is it true then? Like does he–...”
“–shame, he’d be so cute if he was a real–”
Crack.
Like the shattering of an hourglass that spilled its sands like guts, something had finally broken in Ena’s mind. The understanding of just what she was facing, what she was a part of. The sheer realization threatened to suffocate her whole, but it wasn’t because of how she herself felt. It wasn’t that those whispers, those jeers, those mockeries were currently levied against her, used to make a joke out of her. No, because in the end…she wasn’t the target.
Mizuki was.
“Ah…ha…ah…” A strange blend of complicated feelings began welling up from deep inside Ena’s chest. There was anger, grief, sympathy, fear. It was so much. Far too much.
One part of her wanted to pick up the first person she could find, slam them against a wall, and tell them to never speak Mizuki’s name with their filthy mouth.
Another part of her wanted to vomit. It was all too much for her. And the realization that Mizuki had been dealing with this ever since middle school threatened to further break Ena’s heart into smithereens.
In the end, however, it was a third side to her inner lamentations which won out.
Ena Shinonome…ran away.
…
“Hah…hah…hah…” Shutting off the iron door of the roof behind her, Ena tried her best to recuperate and regain control of her breathing after having run here far faster than her own body could ever have. The fresh air of the outside slapped her face, granting it some lucidity after this ordeal. But she wasn’t okay. She didn’t know how she could be okay after this. It was too much. It was all too much.
How many years had passed with Mizuki having to deal with this kind of awful treatment? Obviously, Ena wasn’t naive enough to think Mizuki’d never had issues of the sort, but, somehow, she could only fully understand the stark reality of her friend’s situation by living through it. In some strange way…she was almost glad to have been given the opportunity to truly understand Mizuki’s suffering.
“Huh, Akiyama? The hell are you doing here?” As Ena’s thoughts spiraled and spiraled further, the last voice she had wanted to hear suddenly bellowed from the side, and a painfully familiar orange-haired boy decided to make his presence known.
“A-Akito…” It was useless, Ena’s racing brain and crushed heart did not let her make any coherent sentences. She was having a full-blown panic attack and had no idea how to stop it. Was this also…part of Mizuki’s body? Was it her own mind? She didn’t know. She couldn’t, but she only wished for it to stop.
Please…somebody, help.
“Woah, hey, what’s wrong?” Akito had bridged the gap between them, crouching to meet Ena’s eyes and seemingly trying to understand what the best play here would be. Honestly, Ena wasn’t even that mad about seeing him. His stupid mug was almost comforting. It reminded her of home. It reminded her of herself. It reminded her of…her own self.
Ena couldn’t do this…she wanted to go back.
“Okay uhh…wait, old man Ken taught me this trick, give me a sec.”
She watched, her heart still anxious and jumpy, as her brother very gently put his hand on her shoulder, and began talking to her, his tone more serious than Ena had ever heard it to be.
“Do it with me, just breathe in, then breathe out.” As if to demonstrate, he did just that. He took a deep breath in, held it for a few seconds, and slowly breathed it out.
Seeing no other way out of this, Ena followed suit. Taking in a deep breath, holding it for barely long enough, and then letting it fizzle out of her mouth. She did this for as many times as Akito did, eventually realizing that her heart had grown noticeably calmer, and that her mind felt less clouded.
She felt she could actually breathe normally now, and it was all thanks to her stupid – but admittedly kind – brother.
“Thank you…Akito.”
“Did you divorce my sister or something? What happened to Lil Broski?” His smile was cocky and wry, but it also looked so stupid after what he had just said that Ena couldn’t help but laugh out loud, enough so that small beads of water appeared in the corners of her eyes.
“Oi, don’t just start laughing.”
“S-Sorry, sorry. I guess I really do owe you one, Lil Broski~” For the sake of her own sanity, Ena did not even deign question what that thing was about a divorce. Some stones are best left unturned.
“Seriously though, thank you…”
The genuine tone of Ena’s voice was hers this time, not Mizuki’s. She was genuinely glad, as well as a little proud, that seeing Mizuki in this state, Akito’s first reflex was to lend her his aid, to help her calm down and relax. He was an awful, stupid, annoying brother. But…he was clearly a good friend.
“By the way, if you need to talk, I’m like…well I’m not An or anything, but I can hear you out too.” Aww, and now he was being bashful~ Gosh, if this body swap thing didn’t have to be kept strictly private, she would SO tease his irreverent ass forever.
Regardless though, Ena didn’t want to further stir the pot, so to speak. So she straightened herself up, did a quick twirl, and smiled a radiant, confident smile before speaking. “No need! I just…got a little overwhelmed, I think.”
Akito didn’t look particularly convinced, which honestly was a good thing. In the future, Ena would rather they not believe Mizuki’s pretend-smiles that would hide her inner woes. However, just for today, she would really appreciate it if they could.
“Fair enough. But if anything happens, you can always find me, An or Toya. Hell, even those weirdo upperclassmen would have your back in a heartbeat. They’re…well, frankly, I’d rather have them as far away from me as possible, but I’m pretty sure you get along with them great already. Weirdos and kettles and all that.” Ena could intuit that Akito was talking about Rui Kamishiro and Tsukasa Tenma, the former of which she’d had quite a few conversations with already. She knew full well how important he had once been to Mizuki, and thus, held great respect for him.
All in all…tears threatened to break through the dam of Ena’s heart, overflowing with joy and gratitude for Mizuki’s friends, for the people who had managed to stand at her side when Ena herself couldn’t. She almost chastised herself for even being in night class. Perhaps, if she had been like everyone else, having known all these wonderful friends of Mizuki while being with her any chance she got, she could have protected her better. Perhaps then, Mizuki would not have had to agonize over her identity, her secret. She wouldn’t have had to constantly avoid those hushed conversations and terrible words said about her.
But…Ena knew that wasn’t true either. Mizuki was what she was to Ena in spite of, and because of, all the things that had initially kept them at a distance. And when Ena thought to what they were now, these two precious friends who had held each other with their feelings spilling out onto that sun-kissed pavement, she knew full well–
She would not want it any other way.
…
It was a strange thing to walk in the shoes of another. That much was obvious, but Mizuki still felt the need to reassess the strangeness of her condition over and over again. To see through eyes that weren’t hers, to speak with a mouth that didn’t belong to her, and to walk with legs that were way too short and easily tired.
Seriously, the first thing she’ll do once they fix this mess is force Ena to exercise. It’s become a matter of pure urgency now that she gets to experience her pitiful stamina for herself.
With musings both strange and ordinary, Mizuki made her way down the streets of Shibuya, with a big, cumbersome shoulder bag housing her friend’s latest project, heading towards the address Ena had given her: to that ever-so-elusive art class of hers.
Mizuki’s heart was gripped by both fear and excitement. Of course she was terrified about going to some super strict artsy workshop where she might even have needed to draw. And while Mizuki was partial to occasionally doodling here and there, there was no way for her to convincingly reproduce Ena’s incredible skills.
However, there was also excitement brewing in her bosom. This was the chance for her to see a side of Ena’s life that, while she had mentioned on occasion, she wouldn’t be particularly chatty about. And that really sucked for Mizuki, champion of nosiness, who wanted to know everything and anything about Ena! Maybe she would meet some of her friends there, and hear the teacher praise her work. Ohhhh she could imagine it, being praised again and again, reporting all of it back to Ena, and having her be both shy and embarrassed about it, but also a little proud.
That kind of expression suited Ena the best~!
“Ah– Good morning, Ena..!” Right as Mizuki’s thoughts became a bit too silly, a soft, cheerful voice beckoned to her – or, well, to Ena.
When she turned her head, Mizuki was greeted by a pair of cute, green eyes and a bed of black hair that ended in twintails.
Uh, wait, Ena did tell me about her. Her name was…–
“H-Hi Futaba! How’s it…going?”
“Um…it’s going well…I think?”
Well, way to make a normal first impression. But it’s fine. Even though Ena had the charisma and socialness of a clam, Mizuki could save the situation.
“Awesome! Haha, can’t wait to give back our assignments today~!”
“Hehe, you seem very confident today. Do you think you did alright?”
Mizuki thought for a second. She didn’t really know if Ena thought she did alright. However, she did briefly see the actual thing before putting it in her bag, and she thought Ena did alright.
“Yup! Just you wait, this time I’ll blow Yukihira’s socks off!!”
“Ehhh?? That’s…very audacious, wow…” The green-eyed girl looked at her with a mix of awe and joy, clearly happy to see ‘Ena’ so driven. It warmed Mizuki’s heart a tiny bit that this Futaba girl seemed to care for Ena as a friend.
She was really cute though, so a selfish part of her hoped it was just as a friend.
“Ah, I think we can go in now.”
“Okidoki, just lead the way~” It really helped to be a social creature, Mizuki thought. If she had been sentenced to this same fate as a middle-schooler, she would likely have failed miserably.
Then again, she might have had a more similar personality to Ena’s. Heh.
As students congregated and went right through the doors, Mizuki followed suit, trying her best to feel as though she wasn’t clearly an impostor here. It was almost refreshing to have an actually justifiable impostor syndrome, instead of…the usual stuff.
This was also something that had been weighing on Mizuki’s mind for a while, but wasn’t this all…really convenient for her, and her alone? She basically had her ideal body, didn’t have to hear constant rumours behind her back, and was liked and appreciated by her friends. She had made her home in several places, whether it was this workshop or Nightcord. And…well, she was really pretty.
Wasn’t this way too good a deal for Mizuki?
As her heart grappled with these selfish musings, the students had finally arrived at the workshop, a large, messy room filled to the brim with easels, canvases, thick books that all looked artsy in content, and literally anything else one could imagine in an art-dominated space such as brushes and paint by the bucket.
Mizuki couldn’t hide her awe, this was everything she’d ever imagined an art class to look like, but also so much more. She honestly found it so cool that Ena would come here and just work on her passion all day.
“Ena..? Is everything alright?”
“Ah–! Um, yeah! I was just…like wow, I really like this room!”
“Um…it is a very nice room, yeah..!”
Poor Futaba seemed confused by what she saw as Ena acting strangely, but fortunately she did not press any further, what a sweet girl.
It was then that, as they took their seats, an imposing voice echoed in the room from the other side.
“Alright class, today we’ll be reviewing last week’s work, as well as the assignments you’ve had to complete for this week. There will unfortunately not be a lot of practical work, as I want to fully focus on giving you feedback, but feel free to try different things while I talk with each and every one of you.”
He was an older gentleman, perhaps slightly older than Mizuki’s dad, but still younger than her grandpa. His greyed hair had subtle white streaks, and those piercing eyes hidden behind glasses were a very light shade of blue. Frankly, he looked like the very personification of Art with a capital A to Mizuki. Someone proper, orderly, probably quite strict but also very fair.
Regardless of all that, Mizuki was relieved to know Ena had been right, that today would not involve any mandatory work. All she needed to do was to take note of the criticism and feedback she would receive on her projects, and bring it back home. Meanwhile, poor Ena was probably bored out of her mind, doing her stupid exam.
Heh, sucks to be her~.
…
Oh my god, it really does suck to be her.
As Yukihira was calling students one by one to give them feedback in long, excruciating detail, Mizuki could feel the very concept of her sanity fray and chip away, as though she was about to utterly crumble and blow up.
For the last maybe 2 hours, all she’d done was haphazardly splatter paint on her canvas to look busy, not wanting to be seen as a slacker. Fortunately, most people didn’t really look her way.
Unfortunately, one person still did.
“Ena…are you, um, trying a new style..?” SHUT UP, YOU TRY DRAWING WITH YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE!!!
Then Mizuki realized that was what they were doing already.
“Uhhhh…y-yeah! Honestly I just– I don’t feel the normal Vibes today. I have to…uhh…experiment! Try to channel…new Vibes!”
“Ohhh…that’s so interesting.” Girl, please don’t look at me with so much light in your eyes, I am about to CRY.
There was nothing else Mizuki could do in the current circumstances. Until Yukihira called her – read, Ena’s – name, she was doomed to a life of slaving away at the canvas, creating increasingly more unhinged results that would not look out of place in a mid-2000s Visual Novel about a man’s dwindling sanity causing him to see everything as horrible mounds of flesh and gore.
Not that Mizuki would know…she had just…seen a let’s play…
“Shinonome, please come to my desk.”
Finally, Mizuki would be released from her life of terrible, awful torment and actually do something of note. In essence, she didn’t even need to internalize the feedback, just make a note of it and report back to Ena. It would literally be the easiest thing in the world.
So she got up, heading straight for the imposing man’s desk. On it, Mizuki could see two paintings, only one of which she recognized to be the very same one she had brought here today. It made sense, then, that the second one was Ena’s project from last week.
“Ehm,” Yukihira coughed slightly in his fist to make sure Mizuki was listening, “last week’s theme, as I recall, was ‘tragedy’. And for your assignment, it was ‘contentment’. Do you believe yourself to have done a good enough job in either?”
The question felt oddly aggressive, but perhaps that was simply his style of inquiry. Regardless, Mizuki took a long, long look at the two works before her, not having had the chance to directly analyze an authentic Ena Shinonome in a long while.
The first painting, the one from last week, depicted–
Oh, Ena…
Mizuki’s heart seized as she clearly recognized what was a pink, dilapidated ribbon floating in the wind, slowly disappearing from view into the darkness of the background. Even without the obvious symbolism at hand, the work felt evocative. The idea of losing something so small and inconsequential into the greater void was relatable to anyone, surely. And even if it was small, the ribbon’s pink marked a clear contrast relative to the colors that surrounded it. It was small, but it was the center…of her world.
You dummy…I’m…so sorry.
A wistful smile drew on the lips that were not Mizuki’s as her gaze flitted over to the second painting, the one which represented ‘contentment’.
In this one, a small, brown-haired girl was laying down on the ground, surrounded by multi-colored lights that distinctly shone in shades of maroon, purple and pink, illuminating the girl’s traits and shielding her from the darkness all around. It was quite beautiful, and reminded Mizuki of the very first thing she’d ever seen of Ena’s – the first fanart she’d done for Kanade’s music.
Except this girl was not holding herself back from screaming, or screaming so loudly it blurred her very sense of self. She was simply sleeping, laying down in a cocoon of joy, relief, contentment… And the lights that shone all around her…well, it didn’t take a genius to guess who they represented.
Warmth. A pure, unadulterated feeling of warmth spread all around Mizuki’s heart, wrapping it in that same cocoon. Ena really was…just the sweetest.
“Care to share what’s on your mind, Shinonome?”
“H-Huh? Ahhh, sorry, I– uh, apologise! Um, what was the question again?”
Yukihira briefly pinched the bridge of his nose before answering back, “do you think you’ve done a good job with those themes?”
There wasn’t really another answer to give here than Mizuki’s honest feelings. Ena’s work was…beautiful, evocative. It struck a chord in her heart and the melody rang like the most precious of lullabies.
“Y-Yes! I…I believe I did, sir.”
“Hm…good. I think I would agree.” So it WAS just a facade, what a meanie!
Yukihira continued, his voice level and his eyes softer. “As far as the messaging behind your work goes, this is very competent. Your work from last week truly does give off an air of melancholic sadness one could get from losing something as dear as it is ephemeral. And your current assignment reflects well on the feeling of being at a juncture in your life where you can take solace in the boons you’ve gained. Thematically, your work is a success–”
YES! Oh Ena’s going to be SO happy, I can’t wait to see her silly little face when I get an excuse to praise her relentlessly–
“However,” like a blade cutting the very air in twain, Yukihira slashed away at the softness of his own voice, “I am frankly disappointed in the shallowness of your technique.”
“H-Huh..?” Mizuki had been on such a high that she hadn’t even noticed the praise she’d stood on had evaporated, making her fall through a ravine of her own confusion.
“The contrast in colors in the first work is not enough to drag one’s eye to the ribbon. Even if it was the point to make it inconsequential, lost, it still becomes hard to make out in front of the messy background. You ought to have used finer lines, for example, to truly separate your layers. It’s sloppy, even for you.”
‘E-Even for you’ he says… Isn’t that a bit harsh?
“Actually, as I look at it, even the colors make me feel unsure of this. Perhaps, as the paint dried, it gave you a different result from what you first painted, but the whole thing ends up feeling sloppy, amateurish. You’ve done better before, Shinonome. This is somewhat disappointing.”
A sensation akin to a sudden, cold shower flooded Mizuki’s senses, completely pulling her out of her happiness. What…was this guy even saying? Ena’s work was amateurish? Sloppy? Was he blind?!
“And then, we get to today’s assignment–” Without even giving her a chance to settle her own thoughts, Yukihira quickly switched to the second painting, the softness Mizuki had once thought she found in his eyes were nowhere to be seen.
“Let me be frank, I have genuinely no idea what even happened to your style in the last week. Were you particularly tired, or did you just not feel like applying yourself?”
What..?
“It’s like all of the things you’ve learned here flew out the window the moment you found something to channel from within. Drawing from your emotions is not a bad thing. It’s only sensical. But if you forget the fundamentals, how is this any different from a hobbyist’s work?”
Stop.
“The colors seem to hold a certain significance to you, I can understand that, but they do not fit within the canvas’ overall balance, and the proportionality of light and shadow is completely off. It’s as if you only worked on the goal and not on how to get there.”
Stop it, don’t say that!
“There has to be a fine line between professional art and idle indulgence, Shinonome. And unfortunately, you’ve seemingly fallen right over the edge of that–
“SHUT UP!!!”
A voice Mizuki did not recognize to be her own suddenly erupted in the classroom, making everyone turn their heads toward the source of the noise. In front of her, Yukihira showed an expression of pure shock for the first time. Not anger. Simply shock. Like he had not even considered the possibility of what was happening right now. Meanwhile, the slightest glance at the people that surrounded her revealed them all looking askance, as though ‘Ena’ had genuinely lost any and all sense of rationality.
But she wasn’t insane for thinking this was too much…right? Ena had clearly put a lot of work and effort into these paintings. They had come from the very depths of her heart. The source of her tragedy, of her contentment, were the feelings she’d kept deep in her bosom.
To see those feelings trampled upon, erased and scrubbed over as the fruits of her labor were mercilessly torn down…
What kind of life was this? Did Ena…constantly go through this?
This was why she had first abandoned art class, wasn’t it? Because it was too much. And Mizuki agreed, it was too much.
Without looking back, midway through wondering if she should simply play it off or apologize–
Mizuki Akiyama…ran away.
…
“Haaah…haaah…stupid…short…legs…”
Outside of the workshop, in a nearby alleyway, Mizuki felt her legs lose all semblance of strength after her run as she let herself fall pathetically on the ground. Long, painful tears streaked down her cheeks, forcing the poor girl to sob at the same time as she tried to recover her breathing, an exercise in futility; the more she cried, the more she wanted to cry. She couldn’t see, she couldn’t hear, she could hardly breathe, and everything seemed as though it was crumbling away.
Mizuki couldn’t understand it. How such beautiful works of art could be treated so…harshly. To see so much meaning and yet, even then, break Ena’s pedestal by lambasting the slightest of details.
It finally occurred to Mizuki: Ena had been hearing this for a long, long time.
It all began to click in her mind, it all made sense. Ena’s father’s harshness, her initial attempt at integrating this art class, her comeback years later. The anger which she wielded as her primary weapon, the bitterness that had become her shield, her desperate need and want for attention. It all made so much sense, and Mizuki hated herself for never seeing beneath that facade.
For never daring to look past her idea of Ena Shinonome, even when Ena herself had broken down every wall Mizuki had put in front of herself.
“Um…Ena?”
A now familiar voice bellowed from the entrance of the alley, and soft green eyes found her pathetic self.
“Futaba…I-I’m so–”
“N-No, it’s fine. You don’t need…to apologize to me.” As she spoke, the girl gently came over, Ena’s bags in tow, and sat right next to her, although still leaving enough space for her to not feel overwhelmed.
She’s…really kind, isn’t she?
“I just…I don’t know what came over me.”
Futaba smiled, shaking her head in understanding. “It’s okay…we all have days where it just gets…too much, I think.”
So this was…normal? Was it Ena’s fate to continuously endure this treatment? Was it also the fate of all those who sought to make art into their living?
How cruel. How terribly, terribly cruel.
“Hey, Ena? You’re…a bit different today, aren’t you?”
“H-Huh?” Oh no, had she failed her act?
“There’s…a color in you that…isn’t usually there. It’s hard to explain. You feel both more confident, and more fragile. Stronger, and weaker. Softer, and more vulnerable. Usually, you would keep a lot of your feelings in when we’re in class. But today, it really got to you, and you had no choice but to let it out.”
As Futaba talked more and more, Mizuki’s heart felt…lighter. There was a kindness in the way Futaba treated ‘Ena’ that felt…nice. She was glad someone was looking out for Ena in this harsh environment, but truthfully, she was glad to have anyone be consoling her right now.
“You’re…right.” Beyond her tears, Mizuki could do little more than nod and agree with the artist girl’s assessment. This was a side of Ena that she herself had not seen, after all. Mizuki knew Ena, the social media-obsessed girl, as well as Ena, Nightcord’s official artist. But she knew scarcely little about Ena, the professional artist in the making.
It scared her, to know so little of such an important part to such an important person to her.
In her heart of hearts, Mizuki now knew that she would strive to better understand it – this side Ena did not show enough of.
After all, Ena had come and broken down her walls…it was only fair for Mizuki to do the same, wasn’t it?
“Thank you…Futaba.”
“Eh..? I…didn’t do much, but I’m glad I could help!”
Her beautiful greens once again smiled a lovely smile, nearly making Mizuki blush with Ena’s cheeks. What a dangerous girl.
…
After a day that was far too long for her liking, and as the sun turned an orange hue, Ena finally arrived at her house.
Or rather, ‘Mizuki’ came home to the Akiyama household.
Ena looked back on the day she’d had. Aside from the boredom caused by the exam and classes, her takeaway from the experience was that Mizuki genuinely deserved the world, and not whatever this insane treatment was from her peers.
The looks, the whispers, the offensive comments…they were all so much, too much for anyone. And Mizuki had to have dealt with this for a long time. No wonder she rarely wanted to go to school… Ena needed to seriously reconsider the way she’d treated her in that respect. It was clearly not because Mizuki was lazy – well maybe it was part of it – but because anyone would go insane from it all.
At the very least, the friends she’d made at school were very nice and protective, up to and including stupid Akito. Who knew he could be somewhat cool every once in a while? Maybe she would get him some pancakes once this ordeal was done and over with.
Maybe.
Pushing open the door to a house that wasn’t her own, Ena let Mizuki’s cheerful voice talk for her.
“I’m home~!”
“Oh! Welcome home, Mizuki!”
“Heya kid, welcome back.”
She was immediately greeted by the Akiyama couple, two wonderful people she’d had learned to know whenever she came by Mizuki’s place.
Her mother smiled warmly at her as she said, “I already drew a bath for you, dinner should be ready by the time you’re done.”
Meanwhile, her dad found this time to chime in, playfully adding, “don’t take too long though. Or else your mom’s spaghetti will go right down THIS hatch.” He lightly tapped his belly as he said that, obviously intending for it to be silly.
This was…warm.
Ena wasn’t used to coming home to such warmth. Between her father’s coldness, her mother’s kind but avoidant nature as to their issues, and her brother being stupid, the first thing Ena would usually do after getting back from school would be to steal something from the fridge and hole herself up in her room. It also helped to come back around dinner time, rather than during the night, of course.
But all in all…this was nice. Mizuki’s mother smiled, her father laughed. And Ena knew full well that, even after the most difficult of days, if Mizuki was here, smiling and laughing with them, then she could find the strength in herself to continue, to carry onward and live her life.
It brought tears of joy to Ena’s eyes, simply to know how loved her precious friend was.
…
Mizuki was, frankly, done for the day. Ena had told her she could skip class this evening, and she was absolutely going to take that offer. The soul-crushing ordeal that had been the workshop was still weighing heavily on her soul, and all she wanted to do was to go back home and hide in Ena’s room, or even just go to the SEKAI to see if someone would finally be there.
Now faced with the front door of the Shinonome household, a place she had never personally been to, she turned her keys in the lock and entered, announcing her presence in the most neutral of tones.
“I’m home!”
The answer…was deafening silence.
From memory, she could guess that Akito was out at the Garage with An and company, so it made sense for him not to be there at least, but where were Ena’s parents?
Somewhat on edge, Mizuki removed her shoes at the entrance and made her way to the living room, simply content on just walking by and getting on with her plans to hole up forever in the safety of Ena’s little girl cave.
She would not be able to do so, however.
“Ena, you’re home.”
A low, gravely voice had suddenly caught her off-guard, right as she had set foot on the stairs to the second room. It didn’t take turning her head and seeing the man for her to already know who he was: greyish brown hair, unkempt beard and moustache, and a soul-suckingly tired look to his eyes, that was Shinei Shinonome alright.
Ena’s dad…
“A-Ah, yeah. I’m really tired though, so I’m just going to–”
“Yukihira called me today, said you threw a tantrum and stormed off.”
Like a piece of her heart had just shattered, Mizuki felt herself suddenly gasping for air, on the verge of a panic attack. She had really screwed up, that much was obvious, but she really didn’t need to hear what she was likely about to hear right now.
“Y-Yeah…I did go back and…apologize. Sorry, I guess I was just, um, under the weather, haha–”
“Don’t you think this is a sign for you to stop?”
“H…uh..?” Mizuki’s awkward smile had become stuck, while her eyes slowly realized the horror of what she had just been told. And without leaving her any chance to respond, Shinei talked again.
“If you can’t handle the pressure of an art class, there is little way you’ll survive once the chips are down and you’ll have to live with nothing but your art.” His voice was harsh, rough, somewhat disappointed. But what struck Mizuki the most is that it didn’t even sound angry.
Was Ena…not even worth his anger?
“I-I know that dad, I just…had a bad day.”
“You will have no such luxury in the future if you continue on this path, Ena. Only those who are complacent can afford ‘bad days’. One day, you’ll have to push through whatever you feel just so you can keep working to survive.”
“I know that too! D-Don’t condescend me!”
“I’m simply speaking from experience. I don’t want to see you fall and break.”
This was the final straw for Mizuki, who’d had more than enough of everything today. To lambast Ena’s work, to criticize her work ethic, to go as far as break her confidence so she gave up. All of that was already too much, but Mizuki could especially not endure this particular strain of ‘I’m doing this for you’-ism, as if any of this remotely helped Ena.
And Mizuki’d had enough.
“Then maybe YOU should keep watching me because I’m never going to break, you stupid geezer!”
“E-Excuse me?”
“You all think you’re helping me, don’t you? You think you’re being soooo nice and compassionate for telling me off, pointing out the slightest flaws, breaking me down to the last piece until I lose sight of myself. You think that’s compassion? Love? Screw. you. Ena–…I deserve so much more than you in my life!”
Without waiting for any response, Mizuki ran up the stairs, immediately finding the door to Ena’s room. She could hear the old man’s ramblings from her distracted ear but paid it no mind.
And as she closed the door behind her…she cried.
Ena didn’t deserve this.
The girl who had saved her life deserved far more than a life of constantly being broken into disparate shapes by the old, crummy men in her life.
It wasn’t fair.
It really, really wasn’t…
…
The air in the Empty SEKAI was still just as cold, just as weird. There was something almost whimsical to it, something wrong in every sense of the word. Like waking up outside of your own body, or seeing someone else in the mirror.
Regardless, Mizuki and Ena were back here, and still without any of the Virtual Singers anywhere.
“Urgh…I swear, are we just going to be stuck like this?” Mizuki’s voice echoed angrily, her tone clearly that of Ena’s.
“Yeah I…hope we can fix this…” Ena’s voice resonated, meek and frail like Mizuki’s at her lowest.
They both looked at each other, at their own eyes, seeing within the expression of woes that they ought to have talked about.
But they already knew. They could both guess.
“Do you…wanna start?” Ena bashfully asked, somewhat apprehensive about hearing what her own life looked like from Mizuki’s point of view.
Thus did Mizuki talk about ‘her’ day. About the fiasco at the art class, the harsh feedback she’d received, and the confrontation with her dad just earlier.
It brought her to the very verge of tears, but when she looked at Ena’s expression, all she saw was…indifference.
“So, it was just business as usual, huh. Sorry you had to go through that though, I can’t blame you for reacting the way you did.”
“B-Business as usual? But they were both so…awful. If– if I had been told these things about anything I felt passionate about, I would have just–”
“Given up? I get it… that’s what I once did, after all.” Ena’s words trailed off, pensive, looking backward into her past. She had once given up after the pressure had gotten to her. In that sense, perhaps she really wasn’t fit to be an artist. In that sense, her father was right.
“But you continued…you persevered. And your works…they’re so beautiful.”
“H-Hah? What’s with the…sudden praise..?”
The bashful look on her own face threatened to make Mizuki laugh, but she continued, needing her artist to understand her own value.
“I’ve had time to look at your pieces. The ‘tragedy’ and the ‘contentment’. They…really touched me. In the same way as Kanade’s music or Mafuyu’s lyrics can touch our hearts, I genuinely believe your art can do the same. You’re wonderful…Ena.”
Bashful wasn’t enough, Ena had now gone fully red, mirroring Mizuki’s pink hair in the hue her own face took. For a few seconds, she couldn’t even find the words to respond.
But then…she smiled. A radiant, true smile that, if it wasn’t her own, would likely have knocked Mizuki off of her socks.
“Thank you, Mizuki. I– It really means a lot to hear you…say that.”
“I’m just being honest, silly! Aww, you’re so cute when you’re being praised, c’mere!”
With her shorter legs and worse balance, Mizuki still managed to catch Ena in a big hug, holding her tightly in her arms.
“H-HEY, stop that! Don’t call me that! Especially not with my own face y-you dummy!!!”
But if she had any plans on actually leaving the embrace, she certainly did not show it, and after a few seconds of playful faux-struggling, Ena ended up giving in, hugging back the girl in her own body with sweet and tender affection.
Once they pulled from the embrace, the time had come for Ena to speak about her experiences, her life in Mizuki’s shoes, and she could feel her heart constricting at the prospect of it.
“Ena..? It’s okay. I think…I can guess what happened, haha. You don’t have to–”
“N-No, I do want to talk about it. Let me just…find the right words.”
And find the right words she did. With fondness and compassion in her voice, Ena talked about her day, about the insane pressure she felt at school, but also how her friends and family had softened the blow.
“...I’m so sorry, Mizuki.”
“H-Huh? Wait, why are you apologizing?”
“Because I…I had never seen it for myself. I talked such a big game about always being by your side, about protecting you, wanting what’s best for you. And yet, I had never seen just how bad things truly were until I lived it in your shoes.”
Ena’s heart lurched, thinking back to all the things said behind her back. Behind Mizuki’s back. How awful, objectifying and gross it felt to be trapped in everyone’s eyes. To be looked at like some sexless object of mockery and sin, instead of being seen as a human being.
“How…” Ena began crying as she spoke, unable to hold back the tears that fell on this face that wasn’t hers. “How did you…even manage to do this for so long?”
And then the dam broke. A large chain of choked sobs after choked sobs came and rippled through Ena’s throat, blocking any further words from coming out.
And that’s when she felt it. Short, gentle arms wrapping around her, a soft hand caressing the back of her head, and even a very small, warm kiss right on her tear-stained cheek.
“I’m sorry, Ena… No one deserves to go through what you just did. Absolutely no one. You’ve been very brave…now come here.”
“M-Mizuki… I– I–!” But words had no more place here. In their stead, her arms simply wrapped around her own back. It was…strange to be hugged by her own body. But she could tell the compassion within was not her own, but Mizuki’s.
Mizuki…the kindest, most compassionate of girls. Yet every day, for the last few years, she’s had to endure unimaginable torment and mockery at the hands of people who didn’t even see her as human, let alone a girl. If Ena ever saw some of those faces again…she didn’t know what she would do.
But that was all the more reason she needed to be there for Mizuki. To stay with her, forever. And to cherish the wonderful, precious friend she had…
And even if it took walking in her shoes to understand her pain, Ena was thankful that she’d gotten even the slightest glimpse at the trials Mizuki had to face.
And even if it took walking in her shoes to understand her pain, Mizuki was glad she now knew what Ena was fighting against.
And together, as they kept going forward in this broken world.
Nevertheless, they were breathing – together.
…
Knock knock
A rather subdued, soft sound suddenly emanated from outside Akito Shinonome’s door, almost like someone had very gently knocked.
“Weird.” Despite finding it inherently strange, it’s not like Akito had anything better to do.
He took off his headset, pausing the music he was listening to, and slowly walked towards the door.
Right as he opened it, he heard the sound of another door closing to his left.
“Huh…Ena?”
Things only got stranger when he looked down and saw a plate full of fluffy pancakes coated in what looked like maple syrup. Even though he initially figured it must have been some kind of trap, there was little else he could do but take it anyway.
And right as he bent down to grab it, he noticed the small yellow post-it note attached to it.
It read:
Thanks for taking care of Mizuki today.