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Was it always this hard to breathe? Thunder couldn’t remember. In fact, he could barely remember anything at all. All he could recall was seeing him die in front of him, and someone immediately blaming him. And now, he was crouched behind a wall, knees hugged around his chest and crying. They had a point. If he just died instead, it’d have probably been better for everyone involved anyway.
He could barely even feel the tears running down his face. The only thing he knew was that his vision was blurring, his throat felt like it was closing, and that he hadn’t felt this much emotion in a long time. The room felt too tight, the lights felt too bright, voices in the background was too loud, and everything was just too much right now. He wanted to disappear. To just… Vanish. Get out of here.
It hurts. Everything hurts. He really can’t be left alone with his thoughts for more than a few minutes, huh?
Meanwhile, Trap was searching for him. They hadn’t seen him since he ran off after that last game, and their mind was spinning all sorts of scenarios. Some much, much worse than the others. Hy’d been calling for Thunder for the past while now, and xe was starting to get really concerned. It’d searched almost every room already, and they were panicking. Hard.
“Hey, Thunder..? C’mon, where have you been?”
Xe stopped when they heard a noise. Something from that room over there. Slowly, they gently opened the door, the sight before them causing hym to sit next to him immediately. Shit, it’d never dealt with something like this, what the hell does someone do here…? Come on Trap, think. What would someone actually competent with comforting people do here? Xe’d feel bad if hy just left Thunder like this, they had to do something, at the very least.
”Fuck, uhh-“
They reached out to hug, before quickly pulling back. That might be too much right now. Trap slowly knelt down, and tapped him on the shoulder. No response. Again, a little harder.
”Hey, man- Uhm… Fuck, uh…”
How do people do this? Trap, you need to focus. There’s a man literally having a panic attack in front of you. They took a few breaths themselves, before looking at Thunder.
”Okay, breathe with me. In, and out… Come on, in… Out… In… You’re doing great, keep it up.”
Thunder barely registered what was going on, but there was someone telling him stuff. Or maybe it’s just in his head. He followed its advice anyway, shakily breathing with the voice. He no longer felt like he was suffocating, but there was still other problems. He slowly looked up.
Oh, just Trap again. Were they mad? No, they looked more worried. Was hy the one helping?
“What the hell happened? We’ve been searching for you for what, an hour?” Hys voice just sounded flat-out scared. None of the usual air around them was here this time, all of their bravado totally gone.
Before Thunder knew it, everything was pouring out. Words fell out of his mouth, barely coherent, as he frantically tried to explain what happened to Trap. His talking was stuttered due to the crying, but xe understood what he meant.
”…And- And I killed h-him, they- They h-hate me, and it-it’s all my fault-“
”Thunder. Listen to us.”
Trap put a hand on his shoulder. Not gripping or holding, just placed there.
”You did what you had to do, okay? It was him or you, and if we’re being honest, I didn’t like him anyway.”
”…B-But everyone else d-did-“
”Who cares what they think? I clearly have the better opinion anyway, they’re all just idiots.”
…Now that Thunder thinks of it, it’s not really a surprise Trap’s pride.
”Alright, can you get up?”
”I-I’m not sure.”
”Want to try?”
Thunder nodded, and Trap extended a hand (well, claw) to help him up. Thunder grabbed it, and it helped him up to his feet. He was still unstable, leaning on them for support, but he was standing somewhat upright now.
“Hey, you’re not crying anymore!”
”Wh- Wha?-“
Trap gestures to Thunder’s face. The latter touches it, realizing xe was right. He was.
“See?”
”Uhm… Th- Thank y-“
Hy cut him off, pressing a finger to his mouth.
”Save the compliments, we know. I’m amazing. But right now, the priority is you getting better. Hm… What do you wanna do now?”
”I think- I- I think just t-talking right n-now is nice.”
”Say no more!”
Trap pulled him onto a nearby couch, setting them both down. It wasn’t necessarily nice, per se, but it worked. Better than the floor.
And they talked, for quite a while. About lots of topics. Their situation, and their interests. Thunder learned a few things about Trap, and vice versa. Trap talked about loads of stuff. Coin collecting, mostly. Even showed him a few xe’d somehow got in here.
”See? This one’s really nice, and all. Took me a while to get my hands on, but it was worth it, I’d say!”
Eventually, Thunder got comfortable enough to talk about things he liked too. Trap went quiet, just listening to him speak, occasionally nodding. Hy likes talking, but turns out, listening isn’t so bad either.
He got a little self-conscious after a while, though. It tends to happen the moment he realizes how long he’s been talking. Trap tilted their head, confused.
”What’s wrong? Did we do somethin’?”
“…Am I rambling?”
“No, no, keep going. We find it nice, actually.”
“O-Oh. Okay, then.”
Eventually, a voice chimed in over the announcements. [REDACTED] was telling them to get back to the main room for another game, again. Trap rolled hys eyes, but took Thunder’s hand in theirs, and started walking. Thunder was a little surprised by the sudden gesture, but he didn’t mind.
“I- I know where to go, you don’t need to drag me like a child.”
“Don’t care, didn’t ask.”
Thunder sighs, but there was just an ever-so-slight smile on his face as he went with Trap to the next game. With a friend, it really isn’t so bad here.
Maybe he’d actually be able to make it through this alive, and with his sanity.