Work Text:
Rain.
“Huh…?” The rising pattering drew Airi’s weary gaze towards the window; She couldn’t spare the energy to move her head from the pillow. On the other side of the windowpane, Airi saw a sky overcast with grey, smothering the sun’s warm glow, and rain. It wasn’t much yet, but it seemed to be slowly picking up. Come to think of it, the room did get dimmer over the past hour, but Airi couldn’t be bothered to get up from her couch to light– A brief flash of white lit up the room, and a resounding thunderclap soon followed. A heavy breath escaped her lips. “Great… Just what I needed today,” she muttered to herself, then turned her head the other way. Her eyes wandered to an empty armchair, painted a dull shade by what little light passed through the storm clouds. A part of her wished she’d find Minori sitting there, ready to cheer her up with her antics, but she knew no such relief would come – not that she deserved it; The cheerful little idol had left about two hours ago to take a history test, and do some groceries on her way back. Airi glanced over the other seats; Empty as well. Shizuku took Haruka out on a day trip to a newly-opened teahouse a few cities away, to take her mind off their recent troubles. They offered to take her along, but Airi turned them down. “I’ll hold the fort in case any work comes knocking!”, she told them. Right.
The tapping on the glass grew more intense. “Oh, right.” Airi thought, “It was still clear before Minori left…” She was all alone, as she should be. It’s only right - after all, she did this to them. It’s because of her that not a single work offer has come in over the past few days. It had to be because of her - what else could cause all of their momentum to stop so suddenly? A rumor so potent could only be spread about her. Airi sighed. How different would it be if they all knew? Would Minori still… Could she still love something like her? How would she react if she found out that one of the idols she adored so much was just a weirdo playing pretend in a dress? And Shizuku… Would Shizuku still look up to her if she knew that she was just an inhuman impostor, a pretender reaching for that unattainable other side? Shizuku… Shizuku is beautiful, graceful, elegant… And herself? Well, she makes for a great star in a comedy show.
“Whoa! Watch out! Here comes the big, mean monster █████ !”
The sound of children laughing reverberates in her memory.
“Ew! Those are girly clothes!
You shouldn’t be wearing something like that!”
“A brat like you could never become an idol!”
…Hah. Maybe a freak show. “Masked variety idol”, huh? She was masquerading in more ways than one.
The rain has grown into a proper storm – howling winds throw entire walls of downpour around, turning the rhythmic tapping into a discordant cacophony.
A pain twisted her stomach. Right, she hasn’t had anything to eat yet. Airi reluctantly lifted her heavy body off her couch, and… Froze.
No, she doesn’t deserve it. Monsters like her should be locked up in dark cellars to starve and rot away, so that they can’t ever hurt anyone. Airi slumped to the floor, and a tear streaked down her cheek as she let out a quiet sob. It was her fault, wasn’t it? It had to be. Justice had finally caught up to her, and now, she was paying her due. The least she could’ve done was tell them what kind of freak they were signing up to work with, how her old agency could choose to ruin everything they would build in an instant if they so desired. But she didn’t. She chose to be a selfish,
awful,
monster.
The creaking of a hinge reached her ears, dragging her out of her rightfully earned hell. “Oh. Oh no, this is bad. You have to get up, Airi. You can’t let her see you like this.” Airi stood up, but her head quickly began spinning. “You can’t be more of a burden than you already are. You caused them enough trouble already–”
Thud.
Her weakness got the best of her; Her balance wavered, knocking her down onto the tiled floor below. She let out a hiss of shock, her hair pooling to her shoulders. She clutched her head, only to notice fresh tears greeting her. “Shit, shit…” Airi tried again, but her own body was far too heavy not to simply submit to gravity. “Eep! A-Airi! Are you- are you okay!?” A startled voice echoed from downstairs. Then, heavy footsteps rang through, up the stairs, and right at Airi’s door. Bags collided with the ground, but Airi could barely even notice what was happening.
The lights flashed on. A gasp. “Airi! Wh-wha– What happened?!” Airi squinted, dazzled by the sudden light; She could barely make out the figure before her through the haze clouding her eyes. “Minori… I’m okay,” she breathed out a lie, “I just got busy and forgot to eat.”
“O-oh no…! I have to make you something!” Minori nodded with enthusiasm, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with Airi. “Oh, but Airi’s still… Right! Right, calm down, Minori, calm down…” Perhaps contradictory to her words, Minori immediately bent down, grabbed Airi under the shoulders, and attempted to pull her up with all her might. The sudden cold, wet touch jolted Airi awake. “Hey–! You could’ve at least warned me, y’know?” With Minori’s aid, Airi stood back up and was now being guided towards the couch.
After Airi had a moment to sit, her eyes readjusted to the light, and she could see Minori clearly now. And what she saw was a sopping wet mess, with her jacket soaked through and her hair completely flat. “Oh, Minori…” Airi gave a weak laugh, “You should shower before you even begin thinking about me. You look and smell like a wet dog. You’ll catch a cold.” Right. She had been selfish enough. She couldn’t let any of them suffer any more because of her, especially not Minori.
“O-oh…” Minori finally took a look at herself. The moment she heard Airi fall, she completely forgot about the rain. “But… Airi, are you okay?” She asked, getting closer to the couch. “You look worse than me…! Your eyes are all red! Oh– Um, th-they’re always red, but I mean that– Or are they more pink? No, no, no, that’s not important right now, Minori–!”
“Calm down, you.” Airi cut in, attempting to ground the bright-eyed idol in front of her. Oh, she was gorgeous. Did Airi… deserve MORE MORE JUMP? Was she allowed to love someone like Minori? “I…” Airi’s heart accelerated, a beating rhythm she had grown accustomed to. Her mind swirled with conflict, just as it always had. She couldn’t lie to her again. And yet, Airi knew the outcome. The scandal of Momoi Airi, the idol who lied to not just her audience… But Minori.
”…They deserve to know, they all do. But I… can’t…!” But why? Why was she like this? Because how would Minori react…? Would she still…? “There you go, Airi, thinking only about yourself again. I’m sorry, Minori…” She sighed. “I’m just thinking about our recent problem with work.” Technically, this was not a lie. But her heart wouldn’t slow down.
“Airi…!” Minori almost launched into a hug, but stopped herself after remembering she was entirely soaked. “You… You always do so much for us!” Minori sniffled, “You’re so reliable, and dependable, a-and courageous, and strong, a-and…” She clenched her fists, the fire of determination blazing in her eyes. “So I have to do something for you, too! Idols should deliver hope to everyone, including each other!!” Minori began pacing around the room.
“What if we did a special stream? We could call it…” Minori suddenly stopped, then shook her head like a puppy shaking off water. “No! No, no, no! That’s a terrible idea! Th-then what about…” A small smile crept up Airi’s face. She couldn’t help it, seeing Minori like this.
“Ugh! I have to think more and more!” Minori piped up. “Oh…! Airi!” Minori dashed to the couch and gripped her hands. “What if I washed you?”
Airi blinked. “What…?” Her heart felt like it was going to tear itself apart.
“W-well, remember how back at the inn Shizuku suggested that we go take a bath together?” Minori hummed, pulling the pieces together, only for her brow to furrow into something worrisome. “We were all busy then…” she reminisced, but her usual smile quickly returned to her face. “…What if we took a shower together now?!” Minori nearly jumped with excitement. “The warm water would let you relax, and having someone take care of you also helps you relax. So you could be double relaxed!” Her beaming smile glowed so bright that it could outshine the stars.
“I… I’m not so sure about that.” Airi looked down. She could not face Minori. Her head started throbbing. How… How can she explain her rejection to her? Will she have to–
“Oh, that’s okay!” Minori chirped without skipping a beat. “Th-then you can go take a nice, hot shower and I’ll stay here and make you a nice, hot meal! And we can eat when you’re done! Yes, that’s an even better idea!”
Not giving Airi a moment to think, the ever-energetic girl dragged her up from the couch and bolted towards the bathroom, leaving her no choice but to follow. Once the doors opened, Minori practically shoved her inside and closed them back behind her. “Have a nice shower! And remember to relax!!” Airi could hear muffled footsteps running off, away from the bathroom doors and, presumably, towards the kitchen. And so, Airi was left alone with her thoughts again. “Might as well.”
With her clothes carelessly tossed aside, Airi stepped under the warm, flowing water. But she felt none of that warmth inside. The idol closed her eyes, trying her best to avoid looking at her own body. But she couldn’t. Even if she couldn’t see it, all that differentiated her from the normal girls was etched in her mind’s eye. Hesitantly, she opened her eyes; If she couldn’t make all this go away from her mind anyway, then she should at least see what she’s washing. But the moment her eyelids lifted, looking down at her hands, Airi regretted her choice.
It’s always those little things that the spiral starts from.
Her gaze drifted up her forearms, glossing over a scar or two, and up to her shoulders.
Then, back down to her hands.
A bulk of muscle that was never supposed to exist there. A horrifying impurity.
The idol tore her eyes away, but they only landed elsewhere.
The shape of her hips.
The distribution of her fat.
The thickness of her neck.
The bones shaping her face,
her nose.
The texture of her skin,
or hair.
Wherever she looked, there was something.
A mark.
An indelible stain.
A reminder that she was different.
Other.
Wrong.
Airi shut her eyes again, desperately grasping for even a moment of reprieve.
How disgusting it looks compared to everyone else, Airi.
You’re not a real idol.
You’re not a real girl.
You never were. Never will be.
“…!” Airi wheezed, taking in a sharp breath. She slammed the tap shut and left the shower, a painful ringing in her ears. “No. Stop it. Thinking about it is making your head hurt…” Airi reined in her feelings as best as she could and reached out for a towel to dry herself with– “Oh,” she looked at the piece of cloth in her hand, “this is Minori’s towel…”
Holding this towel, wrapping herself in it… It felt so soft, so warm, so comforting. As if it itself was made of Minori’s radiant joy, wrapping her in a gentle embrace. Even if just for a moment, it stifled her worries, deprived them of the fuel they needed to keep burning her.
“Oh, Minori… Even when you’re not with me, you still bring me hope. You really are an idol.”
However, that tranquil moment couldn’t last long. Not a moment later, Airi’s eyes darted around the room in panic, realising that she was missing a change of clothes.
Her pulse quickened again. “This is bad. I can’t go out like this, I can’t let her see…”
“Hellooo! Airi, are you finished?”
“I- ugh, why now?” Airi grabbed a second towel, this time her own, and tried pulling it over her shoulders. But it simply wasn’t enough. It could cover one shoulder just fine, but the other would still be exposed.
“Hello! Airi…! Airi…?”
She put the other towel back and tapped her foot. “I could carefully open the door and sneak out to grab a fresh set of clothes from the wardrobe…”
“O-oh no, is she okay…?”
“…Or I could always just put on my old clothes, it’s not that weird…”
“Alright! I’m coming in!! Minori, to the rescue!!”
Just now, Airi managed to process the words trying to reach her from the other side of the door. But it was far too late.
The door swung open.
“…!” Airi gasped, her mouth stuck agape and eyes open wide. She was paralysed with fear.
Her cover’s blown.
The curtain’s pulled back.
Now, everyone will realise that the emperor truly had no clothes.
Airi felt like running. No matter where, no matter how, she needed to leave. Brushing past Minori, or out the window. Anywhere. Just run, as far as her legs will take her. This was all nice while it lasted, but it’s over now. At last, it has caught up to her. Minori will connect the dots, and she will be appalled; Disgusted, she will realise what kind of awful, lying, selfish creature she invited into their midst, and she will despise her. The mask is off, the ugly truth revealed–
“Oh, um, um, I’m sorry!” Minori, face beet red, staggered back. “I didn’t- I didn’t hear you answer, so I was worried, a-about, um, what if you collapsed like earlier…! I-I’ll–”
“Just as you still possess feelings for them, Airi, I'm sure they also still feel the same way about you.”
Seeing the scene in front of her, KAITO’s words rang out in her mind.
“I have a hard time believing that such bonds would break so easily.”
“Fool. She’s just trying to be nice. That’s how Minori is.
You know that no one could love–”
“No, shut up! I have to face her. I have to face myself.
It’s now or never…!”
Airi grabbed Minori’s shoulder. A decisive action. “No. Stay, for a moment. Please.” Her voice trembled, on the verge of cracking; Her heart pounded, but she had already made her choice. She intended to see it through to the end.
“Oh! Okay!” Minori whipped around.
“So… Do you… Still think I’m a… Normal girl?” Airi stammered out, her usual self-assured personality nowhere to be seen. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, but her gaze remained locked on Minori’s face.
“…Huh?” Minori cocked her head like a confused puppy. “W-what do you mean 'normal'…? Did the hunger get to your head? Oh no, I should-”
“Minori,” Airi interjected, “I… I wasn’t born a girl.”
Minori blinked twice, putting a finger up to her chin. The cogs in her head began turning in overdrive until, finally, the light bulb lit up. “Oh! But… You’re a girl now…?”
“…Yes.”
“Then what does it matter? You’re a girl!” She gently took Airi’s hands in hers. “What makes a girl not normal?”
Airi tried digging through her head, but she couldn’t find an answer. Well, to be exact, she found many, but she could easily imagine how Minori would deny each and every one of them. Instead, she wordlessly fell to her knees.
“Oh no…! A-are you feeling weak again!?” Minori bent down after Airi. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you up! I have your super idol training to thank!” But, instead of following suit, Airi wrapped her arms around her and brought her down to the floor, too. “Minori…” Airi whispered through tears, “I love you…”
“Huh??! Whuh?!” Minori jolted in excitement, ready to rocket up. “Airi- T-THE Airi loves me?!? I-I-I couldn’t be happier!! Ohmygod…”
Airi, clinging to her with all the strength she had left, brought her back down to earth before she exploded. “Oh, you…” She flicked Minori’s forehead. “We’re dating, remember?”
“Ow…! Heheh. I know! It’s just so, SO exciting to be so close with you that I forgot for a moment…” Minori’s laughter radiated pure warmth, so strong as to overpower the feeling of her unpleasantly soggy clothes. “B-but that means I get to say it too! And that’s even more exciting! I love you! I love love love you!!” Minori squeezed Airi tighter and shook her back and forth with each repeat of the word “love.”
“Always a fan first…” Airi let out a soft laugh. “That’s our Minori.”
Suddenly, Minori jerked her head around in the direction of the kitchen. “Oh no…!” Not a moment later, the smell of something burning hit Airi’s nostrils, and she let go of her partner in preparation. “The food… I F-FORGOT!!” Minori shot up and sprinted towards the kitchen.
For better or for worse, this was also their Minori.
“There she goes…” Even though tears still lingered in her eyes, Airi’s faint smile grew wider as she watched Minori take off. She collected herself from the ground and shuffled towards the wardrobe. “It was this easy, huh?” Weeks, days, even hours ago, Airi wouldn’t have imagined she’d ever muster the courage to tell them. It felt too nice – too comfortable – to just be able to live as a normal girl, with no risk of anyone viewing her otherwise. Perhaps somewhat illogically, she feared that, if MMJ were to find out, history would repeat itself: She’d be relegated to the role of a clown to laugh at, not a “real” idol; Not a “real” girl. But now that it was over with? It seemed so simple, she felt like a real fool for ever thinking otherwise. Wiping the remainder of her tears away, Airi gathered a fresh set of clothes and promptly changed into them before something else calls for her attention.
And as if on cue, a saddened cry echoed from the kitchen. “Nooooo… I messed it up…!”
Airi snickered, setting course for the kitchen. “Man, what now?”
Minori looked about ready to burst into tears, holding a pan with a charred mass – one that was, presumably, intended to be a pancake – in her hands. “We can’t eat this… I’m so sorry… I- I was supposed to make you something nice and, a-and–” Airi ruffled her hair and took the pan from her hands. “Oh, shush it. You did more than enough for me. You know what? I’ll take this over, and you finally go wash off.”
Minori looked down at herself, realising she was all wet for the second time since she came home – although she had mostly dried off by now. “R-right! I, Minori Hanasato, vow to take a warm shower!”
“Oh, by the way, I used your towel earlier by accident. Feel free to use mine.” Airi added while preparing ingredients for a fresh batch of pancakes.
Her offhand comment caused Minori to quiver with excitement. “I-I-I get t-to use Airi’s towel…? Th-this is the best day of my life…!” All Airi saw after that was a blur moving towards the bathroom doors.
When Minori emerged from the bathroom, she saw that Airi had prepared a veritable feast. Laid out on the table were two plates of pancakes, each lovingly decorated with whipped cream, strawberries and peach slices, and lightly glazed with honey. The cook responsible sat on the couch, with a blanket laid out behind her and two cups of tea in hand, her face adorned with a proud grin. “I planned to make us some hot chocolate, but I realised it would’ve been far too sweet.” Airi explained.
Minori skipped over to the couch with starry eyes. “Airi… You’re so kind!” She sat down next to Airi and gratefully took her cup in hand.
“I could say the same, y’know?” Airi responded, taking a sip of her tea.
“R-really? I mean, thank you…!”
Airi set her cup down. “Yeah, really.” She gently took Minori’s free hand and clasped it between the two of hers, prompting the other girl to blush. “You might not realise it, but what you did for me today was very kind.”
“Airi…”
“Y’know, earlier I was really scared that this all is… My fault. That we stopped getting job offers because my old agency leaked that I wasn’t a n– Wasn’t born a girl. ” Airi gave her a bitter chuckle. “I know, it sounds stupid, but it led me down a spiral where I just kept feeling worse and worse. I felt like I was some kind of monster for keeping it hidden from you guys, like you’d hate me for it.”
Airi looked back at Minori, at the way her eyes glittered, at how her attention was pulled towards the one she loved. The person being… Airi.
"She’s beautiful. Always shining, helping others.
…I love her so much."
“But you pulled me out.”
“O-oh…” After a brief pause, Minori put her cup down next to Airi’s and wrapped her arm around her. “I could never hate you…! And, I don’t th-think Haruka or Shizuku could either…” She sniffled. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in so much pain… You’re so, so, so important to us all…!”
“…A while ago, Shizuku told me something. I think it applies to you, too, Minori.” Airi gently caressed Minori’s hand. “Your hands… They might not look exactly like mine, but they’re kind and caring too.” She lifted her hand, pressing it against her cheek. “And soft.”
Tears welled in Minori’s eyes. “Airi… W-wah… T-this means so much to me…” She stuttered out between sobs. “I'll… I'll remember this for the rest of my life…!”
“Alright, enough sobbing.” Airi let go of Minori’s hand and gave her a light smack on the back of her shoulder. “C’mon now, let’s dig in!”
“…! Right! A-and let’s put on something to watch!” Minori added, nodding her head towards the TV.
Airi reached for the blanket and put it over Minori and herself. When she turned towards her partner to envelop her, Airi saw something out of the corner of her eye: The rainstorm had turned into a gentle drizzle, and the evening sun was starting to pierce through, shining on Minori. “Hehe… Yeah, that’s about right.” She giggled to herself.
The door creaked open, and the rustling of coats and two distinct pairs of footsteps reached the couple upstairs. “Hello! We’re home!” The sound of Shizuku’s soft, melodic voice carried through the quiet house, and soon Haruka and Shizuku stepped into the main room. They were greeted by a warm scene: Airi and Minori huddled together on the couch beneath a shared blanket, watching some kind of anime about idol magical girls. Empty plates and teacups cluttered the table next to them.
Haruka smiled at the sight. “Hello. I see the two of you have been enjoying yourselves?”
Minori perked up, sitting a little straighter. “Y-yeah! We have!” She hummed in response. “It’s all thanks to Airi…”
“Hey, you did your fair share too! Don’t you dare forget.” Airi responded, giving Minori a gentle shake. Then, her eyes wandered onto the returning pair, a teasing grin appearing on her face. “And how about you two? Had fun on your teahouse date?”
“We did.” Haruka replied without missing a beat, entirely unfazed. “The tea and atmosphere were both quite relaxing, and they had an indoor waterfall that Shizuku seemed fascinated by.”
“Hey! Shizu–” Airi began, then paused when she realised the girl in question wasn’t beside Haruka anymore. She scanned the room until, eventually, her gaze landed on the open balcony door. “…And she’s wandered off. It’s gotta be a talent.”
“Oh… I’m sorry! I just saw these flowers blooming and wanted to take a closer look!” Shizuku’s voice drifted in from outside.
Minori’s eyes lit up. “Let’s go check them out!” Minori put her hands on Airi and shot up. In response, Airi paused their show. “Alright, alright. Let’s get up,” she laughed, then followed suit.
The trio stepped out onto the balcony and was quickly greeted by a warm breeze, carrying the faint, fresh scent of damp petals and the soil. Droplets of water coated the railing, refracting the sun’s soft glow, making the balcony shimmer.
“Look, Shizuku, it’s you!” Minori cheerfully motioned to the taller girl, who bent down to look at the railing up close. “Ooh… Hehe, you’re right!” Shizuku extended a finger towards one of the droplets, stopping just short of touching it.
Haruka joined her, leaning slightly over the rail to look at the flowers below. Their petals, still beaded with rain, bobbed softly in the breeze. “They look similar to those in the SEKAI.” She pointed out. Minori crouched to peek between the bars of the railing.
Airi, who lingered a few steps behind, let the warm wind wash over her. “Now that you mention it, yeah.” She chimed in, then let out a quiet sigh. “Oh, right. I should tell KAITO and the others, too.”
A moment of silence passed between the four of them. The world seemed so gently still, bathed in the amber hues of the setting sun – a quiet respite, frozen in time. Airi’s resolve felt even clearer in the evening calm. She stepped forward, and Haruka and Shizuku each felt a hand press down on their shoulders. “Actually, could we hop on over to the SEKAI for a moment?” Airi continued, then took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“I’ve got something important to tell you guys.”