Chapter Text
Wednesday: How Wenclair should have gone.
A speedrun screenplay brought to you by - what's my username I forgot sorry
(Prologue)
(Enid and Yoko are in Enid's and Wednesday's shared dorm room. Yoko has just said something stupid about Enid's incredibly obvious infatuation with Wednesday)
Enid: (Intelligently) Yoko, shut up.
(Enid flops down onto her bed)
Yoko: (Pursing her lips dramatically) No.
Enid: Yes.
(Enid flops off her bed, having missed catastrophically)
Yoko: (jokingly) Make me.
Enid: (Distractedly, attempting to get back on her bed without further injury to her tailbone) Back off, you have a girlfriend.
Yoko: (Raising an eyebrow eloquently) Last time I checked, so do you.
(Yoko perches on Enid's bed elegantly, shoving away several plushies)
Enid: (flustered, but definitely not denying it) Yoko!
Yoko: Honesty is the best policy!
Enid: (disbelievingly) I can’t believe you!
Yoko: (Paces the room, hands waving wildly) What's there not to believe? That Wednesday likes you? (Throws her hands up despairingly) That Wednesday likes you?
Enid: (Leaps off her bed, dislodging several cushions) Wednesday doesn’t- she’s- she’s just – we’re friends, Yoko! Of course friends like each other! That doesn’t mean anything, Yoko -
(Yoko halts in the middle of the room, careful not to cross the tape boundary Wednesday put in place a year ago)
Yoko: You know what, it’s too early for this.
(Enid pouts)
Yoko: No. No. I’m going. You can’t stop me. I want to see my girlfriend.
(Enid attempts to stop her by arming herself with several plushies)
Yoko: No. Enid, no. You do not want to see an angry Divina when she realises you’ve killed her technically dead girlfriend. Heh. Angry Divina. Hot.
Enid: (Flexing her claws) Well, too bad for Divina then, because I’m about to make her a widow!
Yoko: See, you and Wednesday are perfect for each other. You’ve even inherited her morbid fascination with death! Enid... Enid, put down the – no – no -
(Enter Wednesday. She sees Enid attempting to beat Yoko around the head with a Unicorn plushy)
Wednesday: (Raises an eyebrow) Interrupting something? By all means, continue.
Enid: (aghast, incredibly flustered) Uh – Hi –
Wednesday: This is my designated writing time.
Enid: (Still incredibly flustered) Oh – uhm – sure! We’ll just -
(Wednesday pointedly looks at Yoko, who rolls her eyes exasperatedly)
Yoko: Come on, Enid. Let’s go to my room.
(Wednesday's hand spasms, once. It goes unseen.)
Enid: (Protesting) Oh – uh – but –
(Yoko pointedly looks at Enid, who pointedly looks at Wednesday, who pointedly – or just obliviously – ignores them both.)
Enid: (Weakly) Oh, I - fine…
(Exit Yoko and Enid. Enid trails out of the room reluctantly, glimpsing back forlornly at the preoccupied Wednesday, who is setting up her typewriter with fastidious precision.)
(Outside Enid’s and Wednesday’s shared dorm room)
Yoko: Yeah, I’m still not sure why you have a crush on her. That girl literally does not know you exist, Enid.
Enid: (Protesting huffily) H-hey! It’s – a long story.
Yoko: Yeah? Tell me about it on the way to my room, then.