Work Text:
It was a chill fall night as you sat down and began speaking to some friends of yours, the room filled with warmth and laughter. As the leaves slowly dropped from the trees and danced in the wind, your voice quickly cut through the chatter.
"Oh shit! i'm so sorry but i gotta go!" you said, quickly gathering your things, the guilt of having to leave your friends visible on your face. "Lets meet up later, ok?" You blurted out as you rushed out the door, leaving everyone slightly confused and partially offended. It was no matter, you thought, as soon as you explained, they would understand. Within a few minutes you were back at your house, the drive mostly uneventful. You glanced back at your phone, messages flooding through, though it was mostly just Yuji. With a sigh, you cut through the cool air. The door whooshed open as your shoes were kicked off to the side. You quickly dropped everything you were carrying and rushed upstairs, opening your room with a low creak. Your eyes quickly scanned the room, slightly frantic. Soon enough, your gaze landed underneath your desk. There was your precious boyfriend, Choso.
It wasnt very hard to name everything you loved about this man. His aloof persona, the way he blended into the background, and the perpetual boredom on his face never seemed to stand out much. Until you. The way you spoke to him, the way you treated him, the way you acknowledged him, even if only for a second. There was something about you that drew him in. Part of him felt pathetic because of it.
He was a moth to a flame, and he would stay with you no matter how much it burned.
As the two of you spent more time together, he finally figured it out. This odd sense of longing he felt. The way his cheeks flushed under your gaze. The way he would stumble over his words when talking to you. He was in love. After this realization, he quickly confessed, and as soon as he knew you reciprocated, he was already prepared to spend his life with you. He was hopelessly devoted.
Underneath his detached persona, he cherished you. No matter how calm he was, no matter how unresponsive he was, around you, he never doubted himself. He could talk to you about anything and you would listen, and having someone like that in his life flipped his world around. He spent most of his days at your place, like a lost puppy that couldnt bear being without his owner.
This was one of those days. As soon as you mentioned going out with friends, he wanted to protest. He wanted to give you reasons to stay. Hell, if you wanted him to, he would get on his knees and beg. But he knew you. He knew it was a normal hangout, like usual. He knew he couldnt keep you all to himself, no matter how much he wanted to. Because of that, he pressed a gentle kiss into your cheek and watched you drive off. He immediately felt the anxiety swell in his chest. What if one of your friends hurt you? What if a cursed spirit harmed you? What if you found someone better? It was idiotic, he knew, but that didnt help. He knew that you loved him. He knew how capable you were. He knew that he had nothing to worry about. But the "what if" situations didnt stop running through his head, and the longing for you didnt let up. With a quiet murmur, he went upstairs to relax in your room.
Lying in your bed, he decided to listen to some music, though his playlists werent seeming interesting at all. Slipknot felt too brash, MSI was too sexual, and Slayer's lyrics were just as controversial as the allegations the other two bands were already facing. His anxiety was still pounding in his chest, and the world felt dizzy. After a moment, he decided to just sleep it off. Grabbing one of your hoodies and holding it close, he laid down and nuzzled into the clothing item. It wasnt you, but it was close enough.
After an hour of tossing and turning, he shot up out of your bed. His inhales were short and shallow, and the world was shaking. The only thing shaking more then the world was his hands. His heart was pounding too fast. Everything was too in focus and too blurry at the same time. His dream replayed over and over in his mind, taunting him. It started as a calm field. The soft scent of you and the warm tingle in the air filled his senses. He saw his brothers, Eso, Kechizu, and Yuji talking and sharing food. Beside him, there was you. That same look on your face he fell in love with. The same gaze in your eyes that he could get lost in. It was peaceful.
Slowly, as the sun lowered, everything seemed to crash down. The warmth surrounding him vanished. He saw Eso and Kechizu, lifeless on the ground, maggots and worms crawling over their still bodies. Even though their bodies had decayed, they were still bleeding heavily. Both of their skins were soggy with blood, peeling off and oozing out. To the right of them, there was Yuji. His unconsious, bloody form against a tiled wall. Choso wanted to check if he was breathing. He wanted to go help. He wanted to be a leader for his siblings, but his legs wouldn't move.
During this harsh panic, Choso looked down at his bloodied, shaking hands. The blood was fresh and sticky, but this time, it wasn't his own. It was Yuji's. Looking back at Yuji, his heart twisted and his stomach churned. It was his fault. Everything was his fault. Even in his dream, he frantically looked around, searching for your figure, but you were simply gone. Your scent had vanished, and the peace you always bring him was nothing but a bitter memory. The world seemed to collapse. His mind was racing, and the loss in his heart of the four people who mattered most in his life only made everything worse.
Just as quickly as the dream started, the dream ended. Now, here he was, a nervous wreck all alone in your room as he desperately clung to your hoodie. Choso knew he shouldnt interrupt your time with friends, so he quickly grabbed his phone and called Yuji, desperate to check on his brother. What if Yuji was hurt? What if something bad had happened, and Choso unknowingly caused it? It didnt take too long for Yuji's loud voice to light up the room, a filling comfort that distracted him from his aching, pulsing heart. His heart was beating so loud and fast that he wouldn't be shocked if Yuji heard it.
A part of him felt pathetic. He knew it wasn't his younger brother's job to console the eldest, a leader that's supposed to guide him through life. He knew not to put so much pressure on his younger brother, even if it really wasnt an issue, but he also wasnt about to ruin your bonding with your friends. His panicked voice came rushing out as he felt his anxiety skyrocket to new lengths.
"Yuji! Are you okay?! What happened?! Yuji!"
"Eh? Of course I'm okay! Why? Did you see into the future!?" Yuji questioned, a noisy laugh escaping his lips as he spoke.
Oh fuck. That did not help. His anxiety and heart rate somehow managed to excel even higher at the mention of that as he tightened his grip on your hoodie. Did he accidentally manifest the future? That must be why his hands were bloodied! That must mean-
"DUDE!" Yuji's voice cut through Choso's thoughts, a loud yet comforting reminder that he wasnt alone. Choso's breath somehow became even more shallow as he nuzzled into your hoodie, seeking your scent. Quiet tears welled up in his eyes, dripping onto your sweatshirt's soft fabric. Fuck, he thought, This is so pathetic.
As his tears and quiet sobs choked out, Yuji was left baffled. Yuji Itadori could do many things, but this was NOT in his skillset. Choso didnt even notice when Yuji hung up, his focus solely on the thought of you. He knew Yuji was safe, for now at least, but what if something happened to you?
A loud whine echoed through the quiet room that suddenly felt too small. The bed felt cold without your presence, and your sweatshirt was practically soaked with his tears. Wiping his tired eyes and running a hand through his dark hair, he grabbed his phone and hopped off your bed, practically sprinting to your closet. He was still unaware that Yuji had hung up, now completely focused on you. All you. Only you.
He practically threw open the closet doors, grabbing as many hoodies and blankets he could before tumbling backwards. He needed space. He needed somewhere to be. Dragging his assortment of items like a cat, he made a temporary nest beneath your desk. He more or less burrowed beneath your desk, breathing in as much of your scent as he could. Even the thought of you could stir up so many emotions inside him, and he let out a soft sob, desperate for your presence . At this point, words cannot describe how much he wished he begged you to stay home. His heart was still pounding, tears still falling onto all the items he grouped together as he shifted further into the corner of your desk.
Meanwhile, after Yuji had hung up, he clicked on your contact with a speed that could match Gojo's when he spots something sweet. He sent a parade of texts, ranging from "hey, maybe go check on Choso?" to "PLEASE GET TF HOME HES CRASHING OUT???" After around 98 text messages, all sent within a minute, you checked your phone. That was when you practically sprinted away from your friends, and thats why youre now approaching your boyfriend who's hyperventilating beneath you desk. Your footsteps were soft, the kind middle-aged moms do when they see a stray animal. Only you werent middle aged and your boyfriend wasn't a cat, no matter how much he acted like one sometimes.
"Choso?" You whispered, his name a precious word on your lips. His gaze immediately flicked to you, the tears in his eyes still spilling. He couldn't help the whimper that escaped his lips as he tightened his grip around his knees, pulling them up to his chest. He tried his best to school his reaction to his usual aloof persona, but the tears that glossed over and fell from his eyes told you otherwise. Even during a panic attack, he still wished to look cool for you. Trying to wipe the tears from his eyes with the ball of his hand, he finally spoke.
"S-sorry... I made a m-mess..." His voice trailed off into more sobs, his expression pitiful. You let out a soft sigh. When it came to situations like these, you hated seeing him so pathetic. You walked over to the nest beneath your desk, ignoring the disorder leaking from your closet. With a slight "oomf" you sat beside him. Choso instinctively leaned against your shoulder, his tears dripping onto your lap and the blankets beneath you. You couldn't have cared less. All that mattered right now is Choso, especially when he was practically in your arms. You shifted slightly, allowing his head to rest in your lap. He pressed his mouth against your inner thigh, doing his best to muffle his still audible sobs. Your gaze softened upon the sight of him in your arms as your hand gently ran through his hair, a soft touch that carried such warmth.
"Sorry..." He whispered, still shaking "So so sorry... It's my fault..." your brow furrowed as he muttered into your thigh. His fault? What does that mean? You had plenty of questions, but you felt that this wasnt exactly the time to voice your opinion. What he needed right now was stability, and stability you would offer.
"Dont be silly, my love!" you whispered in attempt to lift his spirits, lightly patting his fluffy ponytails on his head before your hands went back to running through his hair. He leaned into the touch, trying to push a small smile onto his lips, though he was still very disoriented. He looked up at you with his glossed eyes as his hands found your waist, tracing small circles onto it with extreme caution. You didnt know what exactly happened, but it mustve been intense if the love of your life was so distraught. Slowly, his grip on all those items he dragged out of your closet loosened as he sat up from your lap, head lowered in both shame and the fact he was too tall to be entirely comfortable under your desk. He settled onto your lap and wrapped his arms around your waist, nuzzling into your neck.
For the rest of the night, you two spent exchanging apologies and declarations of love, his grip on you never loosening. It was moments like these where he realized how lucky he was to have someone like you in his life. It was moments like these where he knew he could tell you all his deepest, darkest secrets. It was moments where he remembered why he fell in love so hard and so fast. His person, his love, you. Only you.