Chapter Text
Even with the cold mid-January air blowing through them in icy gusts, their hands remained bare and clasped together tightly. Hikaru could only watch, with a certain innocent fascination, the contrast between his pale fingers and Yoshiki's darkened ones. Something inside him stirred as he felt Yoshiki squeeze his hand and his face broke into a silly smile every time his thumb brushed the back of his hand.
“Where are we going?” he asks, his reddish-pupiled eyes never leaving his hands as he lets Yoshiki lead him away.
He feels more than he actually sees when the other looks over his shoulder for a brief moment before continuing down the empty street. Fingers tighten around Hikaru and that thing inside him stirs again. “It's a surprise.”
That finally catches Hikaru's attention; his chin lifts sharply with a glint of intrigue in his gray eyes. His feet quicken enough to catch up with Yoshiki, and he leans over his friend's shoulder. “A surprise? What is it, what is it? Hey, Yoshiki? What's the surprise?”
Instead of answering, Yoshiki glances sideways at him before hiding a silent chuckle with his other hand, but the gesture is more than enough to warm Hikaru's cheeks and leave him staring in awe.
“Be patient, it won't be much longer,” Yoshiki asks him quietly.
It must be because Yoshiki's smile still melts his thoughts, because Hikaru simply nodded meekly and walked alongside Yoshiki the rest of the way in silence. Yoshiki had a hard time holding back laughter when the mental image of a puppy eagerly waiting for a treat or to be taken for a walk overlapped with the boy (thing-entity-god-boyfriend) beside him.
Even when they arrived at the station and boarded the train, Hikaru remained curiously quiet, staring out the window on the other side of the compartment with his shoulder pressed against Yoshiki's and their still-clasped hands resting on his thigh.
They took off their shoes before entering the sand even though it was still cold on the beach, and Yoshiki led them along the shore for a while until he found a log lying just at the edge of a small area filled with low trees. He sat down with Hikaru, watching the waves for several minutes.
“Yoshiki?” Apparently, the albino couldn't keep quiet any longer and called out to the other, leaning over to see his face.
Yoshiki, unperturbed, takes a deep breath and finally lets go of Hikaru's hand, only to pick up his bag and reach inside. He feels Hikaru's attentive gaze on his shoulder, but tries to ignore the nerves caused by feeling Hikaru's breath on his neck, because if he even acknowledges it, he might lose all the courage he has been gathering since leaving home this morning.
“I...” he begins, but has to clear his throat before trying again. “Do you know what day today is?,” he asks, looking at Hikaru.
Hikaru blinks; the question takes him by surprise and he looks away with a slight frown of concentration.
“Is it Saturday...?” he replied in a slow voice, as if he were still considering it as the words came out of his mouth.
Sighing, Yoshiki finally takes out what he has in his bag, revealing a small white takeout box. His eyes avoid Hikaru's as he hands it to him, and his cheeks turn red when he manages to find his voice.
“I-I realized that you like some things that Hikaru didn’t and… he never tried this kind of thing, saying it was too sweet and looked cloying, but I thought you might like it, so I bought it this morning…” he explains, trying to pretend he isn’t anxiously watching Hikaru.
Hikaru's eyes widen in amazement when he sees the inside of the box; although a little squashed from traveling inside Yoshiki's backpack, the slice of strawberry cake with whipped cream looks incredible. Hikaru's face lights up and a smile quickly spreads across his face with a little squeal of joy.
“Woah! Thanks, Yoshiki, it looks so good!” Hikaru turns to the other boy, smiling with his white teeth.
“Don't thank me before you try it and see if you like it,” Yoshiki says quietly, the redness in his cheeks growing and spreading to his ears.
“Even if I don't like it, Yoshiki gave it to me, so I already love it,” Hikaru declares with complete confidence.
Yoshiki, on the other hand, remains silent, turning his face away completely to hide, but without realizing that this reveals his flushed neck.
“Look, Yoshiki, it has a huge strawberry.”
“Just try it,” the other murmurs, though there is no fierceness in his words.
With a giggle, Hikaru picks up the plastic spoon and takes a large portion to his mouth. As soon as his lips close around the spoon, he lets out a long, almost obscene moan.
“Delicious!” he exclaims loudly, with white cream stains on his lips and pink cheeks. His feet move on his tiptoes over and over again, unable to contain his joy. “It's so good, Yoshiki! I love it, really!”
Yoshiki blinks, momentarily stunned by the other's reaction, before smiling, his chin resting on his hand and his elbow propped on his knee, watching as the albino continues to eat until his cheeks puff out like a chipmunk and more squeals of happiness escape him.
“I'm glad you like it, Haru.” Before he realizes it, the word he's been using lately in his head slips out.
Of course, Hikaru notices it instantly, stopping mid-bite to look at Yoshiki with intrigue in his gray eyes. His head tilts, like a confused puppy. “What did you say?”
“Uh...” It takes Yoshiki a moment to compose himself, before another sigh escapes his lips and he looks away toward the waves breaking on the shore. “Yesterday, a year ago, Hikaru climbed the mountain.”
“Ah.”
“And in the early morning of the next day, you came down.”
Hikaru shrugs, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. “Well, yeah, I guess...”
“Technically it's your anniversary, kind of like a birthday, so... I thought we should celebrate with something new to experience.” Saying that, he turns to Hikaru, looking at him with a small smile.
As their eyes meet, Yoshiki realizes that Hikaru is staring at him; there are indistinguishable emotions dancing in his red pupils that almost hypnotize him, and so he is unaware of his own body slowly leaning forward until he hears him speak.
“Are you okay with that?” the albino asks. His voice is weak and shy, something so unusual that Yoshiki didn’t even know Hikaru’s voice was capable of that.
Yoshiki, subtly moving away from the other's face, nods. The answer comes out of him easier than he expected. “Yes. You're not Hikaru's replacement. You look like him, you act like him most of the time, and you may even be him to a certain extent, but you're also your own person now.”
“Is that why you called me that?” Hikaru asks this time. His head tilts slightly as his eyes remain focused on Yoshiki’s.
Yoshiki flinches slightly; he had hoped to dodge that stumbling block, but he knows how stubborn Hikaru can be (the previous one and this one too) and it’s easier if he just gives in and faces it.
He looks away, rubbing the back of his neck to hide his nerves. "Well, something like that, I guess. I realized you've had several names, but they were all given to you by other people or belong to other people, so I thought— I thought I could give you one that was, you know, yours. Not that of a made-up god or someone else's, something that's just for you.“ After blurting all that out, Yoshiki feels his cheeks flush and presses his lips together in embarrassment. ”If you don't like it, you can just forget—"
“Say it again.”
“Huh?” Turning around, Yoshiki finds himself once again locked in Hikaru's gaze, his eyes wide and expectant, with barely contained excitement that makes his heart race. It takes him only a few seconds to realize what he has asked for, and, swallowing hard, he says, “Haru.”
As if he had been given a precious gift, Hikaru's face lights up with joy and an indescribable warmth. Yoshiki is speechless, fascinated by the unadulterated happiness reflected in the eyes of his beloved.
“I like it, I like it a lot. Thank you, Yoshiki.”
For some reason, hearing those words moves him deeply, and it takes him a moment to find his voice again. “T-Then, I'll call you that from now on.”
Haru nods emphatically. “Yes, yes, that's what I want.”
Yoshiki nods, but he can no longer stand the nerves, so he pretends to gaze at the sea once more. “Finish the cake or we'll miss the train back.”
He hears a giggle beside him, but refrains from looking. They remain in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, with only the sound of the waves and the leaves moving in the wind to accompany them, until Haru's voice breaks the silence.
“Yoshiki, Yoshiki.”
He turns, a question about to leave his mouth, when he feels slightly cold lips on his.
The kiss lasts a short time and a long time at the same time, and when Haru pulls away, he has a huge smile that makes him squint. “Does it taste sweet?”
Yoshiki snaps out of his daze in record time, only to match Haru's smile, his eyes warm and filled with indescribable love. Just before leaning in for another kiss, he whispers:
“Yes, very sweet.”
