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“Until next time, then...” smiled Ryne, as the Warrior of Light set his hand atop her head. She then turned around, running after Thancred and closing the door out of the Ocular behind herself.
Every other Scion, Estella and Oudraak had left, leaving only himself and the Crystal Exarch behind.
“Here,” he said, smile unable to hide the anxiety of being just the two of them, “I’ll open the portal to the Source for you.”
“Wait.”
But Tenmachi called him out before he could fully turn around. He froze, feeling a kind of nervousness he hadn’t felt in so many decades. He knew it wouldn’t be as simple as having his crimes forgotten, have everything go the same as usual.
Both his hands sought the handle of his staff, ears leaning back in anticipation as the Warrior of Light slowly stepped closer, boots resounding across the Ocular’s crystal walls. His expression betrayed no emotion, as usual, but G’raha could feel the way he moved like he was holding something back.
Perhaps he was, and decided to ditch the effort, because a blink later the viera had jumped close enough to grab two fistfuls of his robe, aggressively pulling it upwards, closer to himself, face diving to glare icy cold lasers at his ruby irises.
“Wah!” reacted the Exarch, letting his staff fall to the floor, caught by surprise.
Tenmachi’s expression wasn’t like he’s ever seen before. He was obviously, painfully irate, brows knitted down and casting a threatening shadow over his clear eyes. Teeth gritted, as G’raha saw when the Warrior of Light opened his mouth as if about to yell.
Instead, however, he exhaled strongly. Then, closed his lips, only to open then again, changing his mind, but seemingly giving up before any sound came out. Ten panted hard, like being so angry made him exhausted.
And, in fact, G’raha’s never seen this much emotion on his face. Though, he probably would have, had he the guts to look at Tenmachi as he attempted- pathetically, he admits- to sacrifice himself to save Estella from the absurd, very deadly amount of light. But he didn’t, and now he feels another layer of guilt for it.
Finally, after moments of terror, Ten let go of him. He took a step back, rubbing his face with both hands, taking deep breaths to calm himself, to go back to his cool and unaffected vibe of always.
“T- Tenmachi,” he started, but was cut before he could speak.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose control.” the Warrior of Light looked down, finally calm, though this might be even worse simply because his irate expression gave way to a pained one. Now, with the light of day and a rested, sober mind, G’raha could easily see the deep eyebags under his eyes, just as Alisaie told him the viera hadn’t slept at all since they defeated Lord Vauthry weeks ago.
“It’s fine...” came out before he could think. He’s the one who should be apologizing instead. He lied to him, put his dear sister in danger, failed to save her, and had to be rescued all the way down in Tempest. Among other, older things such as summoning each and every Scion against their will.
But Tenmachi spoke first.
“I know what you will say. I’m not angry at you for what happened to Estella. And I’m certainly not angry at you for trying to deceive me. And I say trying, because I know you did the best you could, but you were so bad at it.”
Well, that wasn’t exactly what he expected to hear. The way he doesn’t hesitate to speak just makes the Exarch’s cheeks redden, ashamed and embarrassed to be called out on his lack of deceiving skills.
Tenmachi looked down at nowhere. Like he was trying to fish the words out of his heart, drilling them out with effort G’raha hasn’t seen him struggle with before.
“I... I knew it was you the moment I could hear your voice clearly.” then, he closed his eyes, “I saw half of your face when you called me, and I knew it was your lips. And you laughed, and I recognized it immediately. And then you spoke about the Allagan Technology you used to fortify and defend the Crystarium, and I remembered the way you spoke so enthusiastically about the things you like.”
This is going much, much different from how G’raha thought it would. These words, whispered to him, stirring the young man inside his heart who dreamed of joining the Warrior of Light in his adventures, who thought he was so handsome, who wished he’d be noted and seen. Remembered.
It seems he really was.
And he’s not sure how to react or even deal with it. He knows his face is burning up, mix of embarrassment and happiness, making him feel so tiny and simple-minded. A couple words of his idol and he’s a blushing mess, the audacity. He doesn’t deserve to be treated as nicely.
“But I thought you didn’t remember me. So I respected your wish to remain hidden. In fact, I… nevermind. This is not the time for this.”
Then, Tenmachi put a hand on his shoulder. Innocent, until the grip became tight and he forced a smile that screamed angry.
“However. I do not forgive you for… that stupidity of trying to sacrifice yourself. Again.”
It seems he really is not escaping after all. Tis’ exactly why he avoided looking at Tenmachi, as he desperately pleaded to stop and wait, barely held back by Thancred, as the Exarch attempted absorbing all the Light from his Sister-of-Light. He knew damn well the pain he was about to cause. And he couldn't even spare a glance at the one who would be the most hurt.
“Again?! I don’t—“
But Ten shushed him with a finger to his lips.
“Shh. Yes, again, because you decided to lock the Crystal Tower, stuck inside it for centuries or forever.” And at this point, G’raha can’t argue anymore. “Though, to be fair, you were just the first person I saw ditching their lives for the ‘greater good’.”
The viera’s expression darkened a notch, as maybe the Exarch would remember reading about a certain Ishgardian elezen who took a blow meant to kill the Warrior of Light.
But there were many more. Minfilia, Moenbryda, Papalymo, even Gosetsu… All lives Tenmachi watched slip through his fingers like sand.
“So you wouldn’t be aware of how grandiose my distaste for it is.”
“…” G’raha looked down at his feet. The words feel stuck down his throat, and these hundred years he got of practice on speech vanished like never existed. “I couldn’t find any other way of solving this. I knew the amount of light would overwhelm you, and I couldn’t afford to lose you, or letting the rejoining happen.”
Something clicks in place like the last puzzle piece just came into view.
“…Me?”
“Well, yes. I never meant to summon Estella. Nor any of the Scions. Just… you. But even if it was her to absorb the light instead, I would never let her die! Like you, she is a hero, a Warrior of Light, and… your dear sister… And I am just… ...”
Tenmachi’s heart drops on the irony this presents. A couple years ago, Haurchefant used his shield to stop an attack meant to kill him. He never truly understood why he would go so far not for his wife, but for his brother-in-law. And now, on the opposite side of that dilemma, he once more finds himself without flooring.
The hand on the Exarch’s shoulder finally relaxes. It seems the Warrior of Light lost all his strength. How can he be angry like this?
“If you knew that would happen you should have just talked to me. On the weeks you were gone and Es was in a coma, I thought really hard. And, modesty aside, I was pretty close to solving it, I just didn’t knew of a way to spend that much light in a relatively short while.” A sigh. “But that’s not the point. Even if it’s for the star, or the whole universe, I don’t want anyone to die for it.”
G’raha does not have words to argue or explain. He never wished to place even more burden upon Ten’s shoulders. He read the accounts on their feats before the Black Rose killed them, and though heroic he knew very well how much Tenmachi had to crack his head open to find a path forward. All the times he had to bear the world or the future on his shoulders. G’raha didn’t want him to anymore.
But perhaps not even a hundred years of preparation made him good enough for the task. He even had to ask for Urianger’s help with his reckless plan.
How could he be so presumptuous?
“… Specially not you. I don’t want to choose between the star and you. I want both.”
This is hardly the time to be feeling butterflies in his stomach, but the prospect of being as important as the star for Ten makes him unable to hold it back. For a hundred years he fantasized about this, until he had to accept it would never happen. Until he had to choose his own death.
But against all his calculations, he’s alive, Emet-selch is gone, and he gets to afford moments to hide his reddened face behind his trembling hands… Like they’re back to those distant memories of first exploring the Crystal Tower together. Like he’s just 24 years old again.
“I did not— .. I’m so sorry, I—!”
The mess he has become is embraced firmly by the viera. Ten is a tad taller, and he gets to rest his chin atop G’raha’s head. Letting him hide against his chest, and hiding his own faltering mask from view.
Surely G’raha never got to see him so open with his feelings before. So much changed since they last met, both of them more than anything else.
“I’m glad you’re alive. I’m glad everyone is fine. I’m glad no one else had to die this time. Even though it is not thanks to me.”
“But it is also thanks to you—!”
“Don’t be silly, Raha. It is thanks to Emet-selch shooting you while no one was looking. Seriously… how did we even let that happen…?” but he lets it go for now, because it worked on their favor and the ascian is gone now. “But since I know you desperately wants me to forgive you, you’ll have to help me from now on.”
The Exarch pulls away without hesitating, wearing a serious expression that doesn’t falter despite the color remaining on his cheeks.
“Of course! I’ll always help you, no matter what you need of me. I will be sure to do everything in my power to assist you.”
When he talks like that, it makes Tenmachi want to smash him with a hammer. It is adorable and endearing and even if he ignores the uncertainty it causes him to feel such things, the intensity is hard to deal with. Whatever will he do to this cat?
“Will you? Because I am about to ask you to help me making sure no one else, and I mean no one, has to sacrifice themselves ever again.”
That sure is a way of using his guilt against himself! But he is also deeply glad to have survived and granted a new chance to spend a little more while next to Ten, and his other friends.
“You’re smart, G’raha. And now you are also the wisest person I know, with a hundred years of leading experience. You have saved so many people around this world, I want your help with saving even more. I think if we use our heads together we might just be able to solve anything that comes our way.”
Just this once, the Warrior of Light shall let his emotions speak just a little louder, letting his hands move to cup the Exarch’s cheeks. His pale eyes seek red irises, looking down at the man who made him feel so much more than he’d ever want to admit.
And G’raha, despite blushing, despite the way his heart beats torn between guilt and happiness, smiles.
“Of course. You can count on me. For anything. I’ll help you, and I’ll help the Scions. I’ll make sure everyone goes back home safe and sound.”
“Everyone?”
“… …”
He doesn’t have the heart to promise, but he knows very well what Tenmachi is asking of him. He looks away, ashamed to not promptly agree on the face of the promises he just made.
But it’s fine. They can argue on this later. For now, Tenmachi decided he’s waited long enough since the moment he recognized the man underneath the hood, and leans to capture his lips in a kiss.
The first of their kisses in such a long, long time.