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King of The Yaoi. A zine grading the homosocial relationships of middle-aged Texans. Cover illustration depicts John Redcorn looming a smiling naughtily over a mad Hank Hill, based off the "Peggy's Headache" episode where they do this pose together.
Page 1 Preface
I was pissed when KOTH came on TV as a kid cuz that meant that the real cartoons were over. I could barely tolerate Simpsons let alone these slow-talkin’ realistically proportioned jackasses!
But adulthood is realizing that KOTH rocks everytime you rewatch it. Season 14 came out in August 2025. Now my brain is swollen with gay matchmaking intuition. I hope you can rewatch KOTH with yaoi goggles on too.
Page 2 But Why Texan Yaoi?
For an “adult cartoon”, KOTH is quite sexless. On a popular fic site, raunchier cartoons like South Park (~30,000) and Rick and Morty (7,893) have a much larger relationshipping fandom than KOTH (367). Hell, I’ve seen random Beavis & Butthead yaoi on my timeline! Whereas I’ve never stumbled upon KOTH yaoi unless it was an ironic meme like Hank fucking Shrek.
It’s precisely KOTH’s chastity that appeals to me. It’s fun to make up stuff given hints of character relationships, rather than fully drawn tonsil tonguing.
Page 3 Overview
Faves:Nancy/Dale/John, Dale/Hank
Like: Alley Guys, Joseph > MILFs, Hank/John, Kahn/Hank, Peggy/Hank, Peggy/Minh/Nancy, Joseph/bobby, Hank>Buck, Dale>Cotton.
Ruminate on? Buck/Cotton, mentioned. Luanne>Nancy, rivals. Kahn/Bill, Laoma connection. Lucky/John, band yaoi. Boomhauer/John, seen together.
Page 4 Nancy/Dale/John
Illustration is a panel from a comic where John is leaning over Dale, who is cringing and saying "I only kiss my wife...".
The most intriguing relationship in KOTH is whatever the hell is going on with this throuple. S14 teases Nancy/John as a couple, though they broke up early on in S4. Dale’s “Trusted” corkboard has only John on it. And that led me to really focus on these three’s relationship while rewatching the first 13 seasons.
Page 5
John’s story arc is wonderfully dramatic. He loves Nancy, but he cannot be in her life let alone raise their son Joseph. And Nancy only seems to use John as a booty call.
Meanwhile, Dale is oblivious to his messy ass family. But he loves Nancy as well. At the same time, he excitedly cheers on John’s athletic, musical, and sexual endeavors.
Arlen is not woke enough for a bisexual polycule, and Dale is too monogamous and low IQ. John’s unresolved tension between Nancy/Dale provides me with emotional sustenance.
Page 6 NanDaJo Watch list
S4E21 Nancy Boys
Nancy walks in on a naked Dale getting a massage from John as a direct parallel to her own cheating. And thus the Dale/John friendship begins.
S5E4 Spin the Choice
John’s wants Indigenous land back, as a parallel to wanting a wife, children, and a home.
S7E12 Vision Quest
Dale gives Joseph terrible fatherly advice, while John tries to guide Yung Gribble down the right path. Juicy flashback of John pre-Arlen.
S9E11 Redcorn Gambles...
John sings in a rock band Dale is his manager! I love band yaoi.
S12E12 Three Men and a Bastard
We learn about John’s 2nd child.
Page 7 Hank/John
Illustration of shirtless John and Hank. Hank asks John "You, uh, need that much baby oil?" John says "Yes." while squeezing out a big squirt of oil on his hand.
Their manly auras cancel each other out and make ‘em shy around each other. In response to emotional torment, but John crashes out and cries while Hank can’t express emotions. John is a sex worker, while Hank fears sexuality. Still, John asks Hank for support often, and Hank gets talk AND massage therapy from John. And there’s official production art reminding animators to draw John taller and more muscular than Hank, while remembering that Hank could kick John’s ass. I love these masc4masc alpha uke kings!
Page 8-9 Shipping chart spread
King Of The Hill Shipping Chart, with Hank, Peggy, Bobby, Luanne, Lucky, Cotton, Buck, Kahn, Minh, Connie, Joseph, John, Nancy, Dale, Boomhauer, and Bill.
Page 10 Alley Guys
Illustration of alley guys, middle aged and balding and fat. Dale smiles while only Bill and Boomhauer kiss him on either side of his bald head. Dale says "Yayy<3" while Boomhauer says "Dang ol' MWAH!". Hank is in the background holding a beer can, nervously smiling while saying "Uh, yep. It's that kind of party".
The most stable relationship in KOTH is the friendship between Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer. They’ve been friends since childhood for 30+ years. Dale and Hank’s relationship fascinates me in particular because Dale is the most childish and effeminate, and Hank is the most mature alpha male.
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Hank is the most desired friend by the other guys, and thus my favored uke. Bill and Dale quarrel over who gets to be best friends with Hank. They’re sad when they don’t get to hang out with Hank. And they LOVE to take directions from their team manager.
We get plenty of flashbacks to their high school football days throughout the series, and it’s one of my favorite things ever to be able to see characters develop over their lifetime. Everyone was so openly emotional as teenagers! Now in their 40’s, they’re a bit more emotionally constipated.
Page 12 Alley Guys Watch list
S1E11 King of the Ant Hill
Dale/Hank become “just friends” in a lawn quarrel, then make up.
S3E10 A Fire Fighting We Will Go
Great character POV gags in this four stooges skit.
S3E20 Dog Dale Afternoon
Hank pranks Dale’s paranoia, then saves him with a bridal carry!
S4E8 Not in My Back Hoe
Hank finds a new friend. The rest of the guys are jealous.
S5E17 It's Not Easy Being Green
Flashback to the boys sinking Boomhauer’s car.
S6E13 Tankin' It to the Streets
The boys save a delirous Bill.
S7E19 Be True to Your Fool
Hank discovers his BILL tattoo.
Page 13 Hear Me Out
Luanne > Nancy is very chewy in a Spongebob x Squidward age gap way. Nancy fears Luanne’s youth and treats her with kid gloves. But Luanne is very naive and offers help to Nancy when she’s upset.
Joseph > MILFs is a hero’s journey. From crushing on Luanne and Minh, he still has a taste for “hot single aunties” when he’s an adult. But he fumbles the madares naturales bag consistently. That’s how you know he’s Gribble at heart.
Page 14
Illustration of Joseph drawing in a sketchbook. Bobby watches in horror. Are you drawing my mom now? Joseph smiles nervously and says "Mr. Dauterive wanted this one".
Dale > Cotton intrigues me. Dale hates the guv’ment. But he worships Cotton to the point that he’s the only one who visited Cotton on his deathbed and hugged him!
Hank > Buck has daddy issues all over it. Buck is a crap boss, but he’s is one of the few people that Hank’s ever said “I love you” to. That made both Buck and Cotton disown Hank!
Page 15
Kahn>Hank’s love/hate rivalry is so baked into the show! Even their names are anagrams of each other. We get rare and wonderful moments of them being genuine friends, and Kahn hanging out with the alley guys. But most of the time, Kahn can only express his emotions like a teenage boy - taunting, laughing, and yankin’ the hair of the person he has a crush on. And dancing sexily in the mirror while Hank peeps.
Boomhauer/John has some small hints that may raise your brow. They hang out at the mall together, and they’re well known sexperts. Do the math!
Page 16
Nancy/Minh/Peggy are a toxic yuri triple team. Nancy and Minh have regular relations with their husbands, and gossip about who are the hottest guys in the neighborhood. Peggy can’t keep up with their sexiness, but she’s also the leader of their girl gang and initiates most of their shenanigans! She’s also the most willing to stab them in the back!
Illustration of Nancy and Minh gossiping. Nancy says "Dale's so LIMBER!" and Minh says "Tea?".
With this zine’s knowledge, you can now (re)watch KOTH with an intellectual frame of mind. Go to it, and fill out the zine’s centerfold!
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Executive Director: SCUMSUCK, [email protected]
Made in the USA: Concord, NC, October 2025
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