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so, this was it? the start of a new cycle.
clancy- no? can he even call him that anymore? that's not clancy up there. the bishop, he stood in front of me, holding out a hand, and in it was a red robe. he wanted me to put it on! just seeing the crimson fabric lay on his shoulders made my skin crawl, the clancy torch knew was gone. not physically gone, but mentally, he didn't know me. he would never know me again, it felt so surreal, josh was so hopeful, he was supposed to be the one who broke the cycle! he was wrong. eventually he turned away, dropping the robe in his hand onto the floor and then lifting his own vail above his head. now there really was no chance, any hope he had for clancy to take it off and tell him it was just a bad dream was just crushed, any inch of hope for his best friend to come back was just set aflame. torch turned on his heel and left. no reason to turn back, he walked down the stairs, talking his time. no need to rush now.
"what now?" a fellow bandito asked from behind me, torch ignored him. packing, he just needed to pack up his things then they can all go back to camp and torch can hide away in his tent, away from prying eyes "i really liked this clancy." he spoke again, why couldn't this dumbass take a hint and learn when to shut his mouth? the leader could feel his eyes on me, he was just asking his leader what to do, but the truth is, he didn't know, "yeah. me too" he didnt like the way his voice shook, torch needs to look strong, he needs to be strong for the banditos, for clancy. josh rose to his feet from the place where he was kneeling, holding the backpack he had just finished packing, josh slung it over his shoulder and spoke, "but that's not clancy up there anymore" his voice was much stronger now, he didn't need to show anyone how he felt torch paused for a second taking a moment to gather himself "he's out there somewhere, and we will try again" there was no room left to argue, there will always been another clancy, another chance. he looked the other in the eyes "again?" the other bandito questioned "always" josh walked away patting the other on the shoulder as he left.
the heavy thud of his boots kept him present on the walk back, part of him wanted to go off into whatever fairy land his mind could conjure up, wanting an escape from the harsh reality, but ultimately josh knew that wherever he went it wouldn't be good. torch had delt with meny other clancys befter, non of witch effected him as much as this one, something was diffrent about him.
once back at the camp and josh delt with a few leader esq duties he was able to turn in for the night, or at least thats what he told everyone else. 'what if i was faster?' the same qustion kept running through his head, 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was faster?' 'what if i was fast-' he stepped into his tent, the small-ish space just how torch and clancy had left it. the bed on the floor where tyler was sleeping a mess, like it always was, some if his things were scattered around in the tent just like they had left it. josh sat down letting the realization set in on what happened today. he sighed heavily, letting his head drop and he stilled, tears started cascading down his face, josh didn't bother to wipe them away. there was no point anymore, his best friend was gone, sure another clancy would show up sooner rather than later, but its not his clancy, its not his tyler. josh knew better then to put so much faith in this clancy. he was smarter than that, but he did it anyway, and look where it got him, he's sitting on the floor of his tent crying his eyes out. it was useless work, why even try with a new clancy? he knew how it would end, torch would be in the same situation again.
the cycle would repeat, like it always did.