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“Just so you know…Kirishima and I never dated…”
“…is There a reason you're telling me this?”
“…five years ago…you asked…I never actually gave you an actual response…”
Izuku just stares.
Katsuki tries to look away, he can't face him while doing this. Closing his eyes doesn't help either. All it does is make the memory of Izuku's expression on that night clearer. Grey, chipped paint on the railing of the roof is the only thing keeping his focus and making him push forward.
He's an idiot. Izuku couldn't possibly care. Not after 7 years of bullying, not 5 more of further rejection and indifference.
Years of Bakugou making friends but not with him.
Becoming a better person, but not for him.
Years of Izuku’s yearning blocked by Katsuki’s indifference.
He doesn't have a right to do this but he is stubborn, and maybe a sadist. And perhaps this is some form of internal punishment that he has to see through for all hell he put Izuku through.
“In case you're still wondering…”
In case you're still interested
Could you be still interested?
Could you ever love me again?
…did you really stop…?
“...I wasn't…” Izuku remarks, the statement almost a question of 'what is this about? Is this why you brought me out here??'
Confusion is explicit in his voice, and Katsuki so easily deciphers it as anxiety. Truly, who better to tell than the one person Izuku has always been afraid of.
Izuku if I could take it all back I would….
Some things change but some stay the same. It has been years since they have spoken, yet a decade could pass by and Izuku would never be rid of that unique vocal distinction, though an octave lower.
He has become more assertive however, but excuses are still excuses. They still serve the same purpose; to run, to flee the danger…
“Well, if that's all, I think I'll be leaving now. I'll see you in the mission briefing.”
…only this time, it doesn't feel like an escape, more than it does a dismissal, a finality, an answer to whatever or wherever Katsuki was going with this disturbing topic of the past.
When Izuku turns to the roof exit without a second thought or final remark from Katsuki, he understands. It is clearer than the sky that balances the clouds above them. Izuku of the present is not running, Izuku of the present is uninterested.
Katsuki doesn't know which version makes his heart break less.
____
So…are you and kirishima…t-t-together? Y-you know like i-in a…r-r-relatio-
"Lets get one thing straight. You and I are not friends. Don't get into my business."
“r-right kacchan…I'm sorry…”
.
He waits until he hears the Izuku's footsteps fully retreat and the door close behind him, before he confirms that he is completely alone.
By doctor recommendation, he learns to inhale with his nose, exhale with his mouth. That way the urge to cough comes naturally.
As soon as he does, it is raw, guttural, and disgusting, but a necessary relief. The first green petal for the day falls, covered in phlegm and traces of blood.