Chapter Text
Dazai sat in front of the gang office, his hands full of a package that Mori had recently sent.
There was a note on the too, 𝘋𝘢𝘻𝘢𝘪 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘢𝘭𝘧𝘰𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳! 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘩! 𝘚𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦, 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘩 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘩 blah blah. Slimy gross old man.
He passed them out to the members of his gang, the doctor had sent ten phones over, four more than needed. So Dazai gave one to each of his gang members and an extra to Blaise for him to do as he pleases with.
He kept the other three in the box for safekeeping.
𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 12:48𝘈𝘔
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: meow
User2986713: what in Merlin's name???
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: wait who is that. Change your name.
User2986713: this is Ron?
User2986713: how do I do that
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: go to the thing that says “you” and tap edit profile rest is easy
Ron: ok thanks
Ron: what is this Dazai?
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: it's a group chat (^ᗜ^)
User4923865: why is the phone thng buzzingej its the middle of the bught
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: oh sorry for waking you up broski, change your name i have no idea who you are
Ron: just go to the you tab and click edit profile ^^
User4923865: i dont have to listen ato you blood traughtwd
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: ah ok hi Draco
Draco Malfoy: im going back fo bed
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: Night night
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: btw Ron why are you even awake????
Ron: 1. Nunya 2. What does btw mean?
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: by the way
Ron: ooh ok
Ron: ima go to bed you should too
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: oh ok, talk to you in the morning!
𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 7:25𝘈𝘔
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺:gm chat
User3212479: Good morning Dazai, how do I change my username on this app?
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: ok ima say this ONE more time.
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: down by the home and notifications tab there should be a you tab. Click that. Then you'll see a edit profile and you can do whatever there. This is a group chat so we can exchange test answers and have fun and stuff
@everyone
Hermione: Thank you Dazai! Though I disagree with that last statement, exchanging test answers would be cheating.
User0216874: Good morning Dazai
Blaise Z.: Oh ok that makes sense thanks for telling how to do that
꧁🐍Pansy🐍꧂: Bad morning for you demon
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: oh ok what. Who gave pansy a phone. ALSO WHY IS THE MOST FRUSTRATING PERSON HERE THE ONE THAT DIDN'T DECODE TO DO A BORING ASS NAME?!
꧁🐍Pansy🐍꧂: lmfao I'm just better
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: no one asked
꧁🐍Pansy🐍꧂: fuck you
Blaise Z.: I added her boss, she's still my friend.
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: ok she can stay since you added her ig
Draco Malfoy: Can you ever shut up?
Draco Malfoy: I'm trying to get ready for the day
Draco Malfoy: Speaking of which, Blaise you should probably start getting ready
Blaise Z.: I’m already at breakfast with Dazai
꧁🐍Pansy🐍꧂: of course youre with the mudblood
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: pansy is it really so hard to call me by my name
꧁🐍Pansy🐍꧂: it is actually
💥ғʀᴇᴅ💥: morning snakey!
💥ɢᴇᴏʀɢᴇ💥: morning snakey
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: morning ヽ(≧∀≦)ﾉ
Ron: Dazai why are we talking on the phone if were all in the same room
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: I can't really walk over there nor can I talk to Draco with my reputation so this is just better
Hermione: That makes sense! Thank you for explaining Dazai!
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: and Hermione you don't need punctuation or whatever this is texting
Hermione: Couldn't hurt though.
💥ɢᴇᴏʀɢᴇ💥: hey snakey me and fred were thinking
💥ғʀᴇᴅ💥: wouldn't it be fun if we gave some of these phones to the professors???
💥ɢᴇᴏʀɢᴇ💥: we can have seperate chats for the hell hounds and stuff but we think itd be fun!
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: hmm sure whatever. Mori sent extra anyway
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: if y'all want I'll just give you an extra phone each and let you give one to some of the professors. I have 3 more
💥ғʀᴇᴅ💥: ima add professor Snape hehe
꧁🐍Pansy🐍꧂: as much fun as it'd be watching you all get detention for these things, classes are starting so shut up
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: •́︿•̀
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: true, I'd rather avoid another annoying conversation with lockfart
༻💀ᗪᗩᘔᗩI 💀༺: ttyl gang