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✿.｡.:* ☆:**:. 𝑺𝒂𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒖 .:**:.☆*.:｡.✿
January 25th, 2008
Satoru could feel the weird mix of adrenaline, excitement, and anxiety flooding his insides as he took a step into the art hallways. It was unfamiliar territory, a place where he felt like he didn’t belong. He has always been known as a student whose place was near the science classrooms, staying in the labs during lunch or after school, taking extra amounts of notes when a teacher showed a demonstration or diagram. It was natural for him; science was easy. It was filled with facts and curiosity, something that he could rely on to awaken a part of his inner child.
But when his counselor mentioned the requirement of receiving art credits to graduate, he made it his goal to pick the easiest, quickest class, wanting to just get this out of the way and avoid the intimidation of something new. So, he picked pottery, because…well, whatever. Satoru didn't care to think long about it. It wouldn't be too hard; it's just a quarter-long class, and it’s only the beginning of the second semester, his first year at Indigo University.
Satoru hasn’t had a hard time adjusting to the new area and number of people; if anything, he was thrilled for the new opportunities to be working with different and more advanced equipment, to have more connections with skilled teachers and science clubs. But right now wasn't the time to begin letting his mind drift off. He had to focus on actually finding this class, getting the gist of how to work with clay, and putting in the bare minimum to keep his GPA up.
After putting his head on straight (for the most part), Satoru took one last glance at the impressive art pieces on the walls before finally heading into the pottery room. His nose scrunched at the smell of clay and water. It wasn't necessarily an unpleasant smell; it was just overwhelming, something he knew he would have to get used to.
Satoru's eyes caught a dark figure across the room, easily recognizing the person as a man he had seen quite often when he's weaving through the busy hallways between his CAD classes. The first detail that always stuck out was the man's hair, as dark as juniper berries, usually flowing down his back. At this moment, it was tied back into a low bun, exposing the fine material of his clothes and the ruffles of his blazer, hugging his figure and showing off his broad shoulders.
When Satoru was finally done observing, he was able to catch a glimpse of the canvas in front of his peer, gathering the shapes and lines that seemed to be the beginning of a sketch. It wasn't much, but it was enough to catch his eye. Satoru had the urge to get closer, to see more, to get a lick of this art student's work, but an attention-grabbing voice that he immediately clocked as the professor's made him look away; class was beginning. He quickly abandoned his previous thoughts and took a seat towards the front at a small table with two other people.
The professor seemed overly passionate about the subject of art and pottery; his bubbly personality was enough to entertain Satoru, seizing his boredom for now. Of course, he still felt uncomfortable around the new people, wishing he could drown in physics equations instead of icebreakers and introductions. All the short conversations did was make Satoru feel awkward, digging up the stinging feeling under his skin, reminding him that he didn’t feel like he belonged.
Sometimes, the feeling was merely a mumble, something Satoru would have to seek out to really feel bad about it. At other times, it was unbearable, lonely, and strangling. Stealing his words and making it harder for him to talk to others. Pathetic enough, the only people he felt welcomed by were his Professors, teammates from the basketball season he rarely ran into, and online friends he made growing up. He can curse his homeschooled and rich life for not preparing him for the real world, for real friends.
Satoru ended up ditching his class, picking up his bag in the middle of one of his Professor’s stories, and leaving the room with his head low. He admitted that the action made him feel guilty and dumb, but he needed to relieve the negative emotions that were swelling by the minute. So, he entered the main hallways and made his way downstairs, headed towards the science classrooms, sneaking into the back of one of the lecture halls and curling into himself underneath one of the desks, a place where he couldn’t be disturbed and where he couldn't disturb anyone else.
Before he knew it, his thoughts were cradled into slumber, the bad feelings from before being washed away with his dreams.
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“Satoru? Satoru, are you alright, dear?”
Satoru picked his head up, blinking away the confusion and fantasies, watching the chair that concealed his corner be pulled away. He couldn’t help but be relieved to see a face he was glad to see.
“I..I’m sorry-” Satoru tried, only to be interrupted by the person who woke him up, Mrs. Starling, slowly sinking to her knees, sitting in front of Satoru with a gentle smile.
“It’s okay, honey, I’m just a little worried about you. What brought you here?” The lady’s voice mumbled with age, her legs popping as she copied the way Satoru sat, pulling her knees close to her chest.
Satoru expected harshness and anger, but when he was met with the well-known softness of his former professor, his body eased, the anxiety being pulled away from him and coaxing him to speak.
“Well- I..I left my pottery class because I didn’t know anyone and…and I feel bad…and I really didn’t want to be there, so I came here. I hope I didn’t interrupt or anything..”
“No, you didn’t interrupt. And if anything, I’m glad you came here, you know you’re always welcome here, Satoru.” Mrs. Starling replied, her kindness reminding Satoru why she was his favorite. She was one of those kinds of people who made Satoru feel like a little kid again, but not in the way that made him feel immature and ignored. It was in a way that he was hit with nostalgia and the need to be hugged, giving him the urge to cry and to spill all his worries and pain.
“Are you alright?” She continued, her gray, wrinkled eyes finally meeting his.
“I’m okay, thank you, miss. Just a little tired. Thank you for letting me sleep in here for a little.” Satoru squeezed his legs, trying to wake up more.
“A little? You were asleep through all of second period! But I’m not surprised, a growing boy like you needs plenty of sleep.” Mrs. Starling laughed, her hand raising to squeeze Satoru’s shoulder. Her words made Satoru realize he missed one of his classes, but he couldn't care less right now, it’s only the first day of the week and of the semester. Who cared?
He groaned in response, his head tilting further back against the wall behind him. “You’re saying that like I’m a little kid.” Satoru pouted. That made Mrs. Starling giggle again.
“You’re freshly 18, I’d say that’s still a little kid.” She stood up and pushed herself out from under the desk, pulling the chair further out of the way so Satoru could do the same.
After a moment of silence, he crawled out, pulling his bag with him and trying to ignore the way his eyes stung from being hit by the bright lights of the lecture hall.
“Is it okay if I eat lunch with you again?” Satoru fumbled with his hands, already knowing Mrs. Starling’s answer, but thought it was respectful to ask anyway
“Of course! Come in here whenever you want, do whatever you want, I don’t care. You know this!” She was already walking back to the front of the lecture hall, having to raise her voice so that Satoru could hear her. He quickly bounded after her, following the usual steps of going into her office and falling into a comfortable conversation.
Satoru felt extremely grateful for Mrs. Starling. She made his first semester easier on him, not only by being a good Professor, but by being a good person. He would consider her a friend if she weren’t a teacher, maybe even a parental figure.
If he could (and if he wasn’t an adult), he would have her adopt him, and he would eat dinner with her and her husband every night and help do the chores. He would help tend to the garden she talked about so often and pet all of her four cats when he came home from school. Satoru knew the idea was dumb and childish, but it encouraged him feel less alone.
“So, you don’t know anyone in your new pottery class?” Mrs. Starling began, poking at her salad, reminding Satoru why he felt bad in the first place.
“No…sadly not.” He replied quietly, looking down at the fork in his hand. He knew that she knew Satoru didn’t have anyone else to spend time with, and luckily, she knew better than to ask Satoru about friends or acquaintances, but something today made her finally speak up for once, catching Satoru off guard.
“Why don’t you join some clubs or something? You could probably make some friends if you joined Science Olympiad. The competitions won’t be until July…”
A wave of anxiety hit Satoru, followed by a wave of nausea. “I don’t know…it may get in the way of track..” He deflected immediately, shooting down the idea. That’s when Mrs. Starling put down her food and gave Satoru a light-hearted glare.
“Kid. I know you have some acquaintances, but you need to make friends. Actual friends.”
That made Satoru go silent, a handful of guilt now being thrown into the mix of anxiety. And when he didn’t answer, the lady continued.
“I know it’s hard for you. You grew up homeschooled, and everyone seems to know each other already, but I know there are some people out there for you. You’re a sweet kid, and funny, and arrogant.” She added with a chuckle, ignoring Satoru’s sigh, “You’re just a little timid, that’s all.”
He picked up his head again, appreciating Mrs. Starling’s kind words, giving her a smile to show he was grateful. He knew she was right, and he was done with being lonely. So now, his newest goal was to make a friend, to get to know someone, and to let someone know him.
So that night, Satoru opened up a new tab on his laptop, burying himself under the covers of his bed so the light wouldn’t annoy his sleeping dormmate, and dotted down notes on how he would make friends.