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How could he ever love a monster again?
He can't.
He won't.
He'd rather die.
Mikaela sprung up from his bed, beads of sweat rolling down is face along with a few stray tears. That dream again... he thought as he slowly laid back down. Every now and then, when he went to sleep, he'd sometimes have the nightmare of being turned back into a vampire, and every time he had it, he'd wake up in tears. It was torturous, but he never spoke of it to anybody. Not even Yuu-chan.
The blond huffed as he closed his eyes, knowing it was best just to try to forget about it even if he really couldn't.
Minutes passed as he tossed and turned in his bed, failing to get rest. He tried laying as if he was a kitten curling up all the way to spreading out like Yuu did when they were kids, but nothing seemed to put him to ease.
His eyes snapped opened to stare at the clock. 1:28 a.m.
He could usually get about an hour or two of rest after he had any nightmares, but for some reason, his body and mind refused to give the peace that he wanted. Mika didn't know what to do at this point. Every solution slipped from his mind but the single, most nerve racking one.
Go to Yuichirou.
He never did that, even when he was shaking in fear. The idea of bothering his precious Yuu-chan was almost unthinkable! Almost... His heart practically slammed against his chest, and his face felt like it burned at the idea alone. Imagine him actually doing it. Oh dear god no, his mind quickly shoved what rationality he had left back into his head as soon as he started to consider it.
As the night went on, so did how many times he rolled over. No matter what else he tried, asking Yuu if he could cuddle with him was on his mind. He knew he couldn't ask for that, that he somehow just knew Yuu would reject him and tell him to get over it. The blond didn't once register that maybe this thoughts were irrational.
Eventually, he became so restless that he threw his covers across the room, got up, and walked out into the hallway. As soon as he was out of his room, he froze. What now? he quietly pondered to himself. His body, as if answering, acted on its own and slowly paced over to Yuichirou's door. Mika only stopped himself when his hand was halfway reaching for the doorknob.
"What am I doing?!" he silently hissed before walking back to the doorway that lead to his own room, but before he could take one step back in, he heard the clock-like noise of a door opening. Hearing it, he hastily went inside and closed the door as quietly as possible while still being fast the door, returning to his cover-less bed shortly after, and rolling onto his side, facing away from the door, trying to appear asleep, even if heart was going wild.
However, what small effort he had made went in vain; the raven haired adult cautiously opened the door.
"Mika? I heard someone walking in the halls so, uh... was it your or... are you asleep?" Yuu asked, seeming to want in answer.
The blond tried to stay quiet, but his body, once again, acted on its own.
"Y-yeah... I-I was in the h-hall..." he practically choked out, faint memories from his dreams and a few from real life came into his mind.
"Are you okay?" Yuu quickly asked, noticing how hoarse the shorter one's voice sounded.
"I-I'm fine... No need to worry-" he tried to explain, but cut himself off as soon as he felt the raven haired adult's hand slightly pull at his shoulder, like he was trying to turn him over or comfort him, he couldn't tell nor could he tell when Yuu had walked over.
"Mika..." he spoke softly, as if he were speaking to a child, before laying down next to him, snaking one arm around the blond's waist, holding him close. Sort of caging him by pulling him lower down on the bed, tucking his head under his head and curling his legs up; he tried to make the smaller adult feel as safe as possible.
"Y-Y-Yuu-chan!" Mika squeaked out, surprised that Yuu just plopped down behind him and cuddled him. His mind started to race and so did the blood to his face.
Then, the taller one voiced what was really on his mind, "What happened?"
However, the only response he got was the blond tensing up.
"Mikaaaa," the raven haired teen tried to convince him to open up, "I love you and I care about you... You're obviously upset and I'll be upset too if you don't tell me what's going on. I'll cry!"
Not noticing the other's slight joking tone because of his own mood, he took the words seriously and bit his lip before speaking a few beats later.
"I-I had a dream... a-and I-I was forced to be a-a..." he couldn't go on with what felt like a knot catching in his throat.
Somehow getting somewhat of a hint about what he was going to say, Yuu clung even tighter to Mika.
"Shh... I'm here, and I'll make sure it'll never happen again, ok? And even if it does happen, we know how to turn you back."
"Yuu-chan..." he gently cooed, while his entire face felt like it was burning, and his was heart beating impossibly faster than he could ever think it could.
As if in response, the raven haired adult lifted up his head to kiss the top of the blond's, before returning to his prior position. Entirely stocked by this, Mika curled up a bit further, which only caused the taller adult snuggle up to him more and nuzzle his blond locks.
A couple of minutes passed before Yuu decided to speak up again.
"Hey, Mika?"
"Y-yes, Yuu-chan...?"
"Why are you so tense?"
"..." Mika didn't know what to say; he really felt that it was unimportant or just plain... stupid.
"Well...?" the raven haired pressed further, lightly squeezing the male in his embrace twice as if it'd make him spill out an answer.
"... uh... you're kind of... c-close..." he admitted almost shamefully.
"Oh, sorry, I'll go aw-"
"I-I never said it was a b-bad thing..." he mentally cursed himself for sounding like a teenage girl hopelessly in love but also in denial.
"Oh.. um, okay," Yuu replied awkwardly.
About an hour went by and the blond couldn't sleep. All of the words his Yuu-chan had said to him to make him feel better were racing through his head, preventing him from getting any rest. Plus, it didn't help that said person was literally cuddling him at the moment.
However, even though all of this was a huge cause to this, one particular set of words stuck in his mind.
"I love you and I care about you..."
For no reason he could think of, they made his heart rate skyrocket. They were words the taller one had said many times before, so why were they any different now?
Because he left out the word family, a part of his brain reminded him. After realizing this, the effect on him it had worsened.
"T-that doesn't mean a-anything..." he whispered aloud trying to convince himself, yet it didn't work at all. Instead, it made him want to believe it more.
During his little freak out moment, he failed to notice how Yuu had tangled their legs together and somehow held him tighter and closer before he nuzzled him and sleepily murmured words.
"Mika... I don't care... what you... are... you're still my... Mika..."
Those couple of sentences set his entire mind on fire, or so how it felt.
Some more hours passed of him panicking and trying to figure out what it meant before the smaller one of the two finally fell asleep.
---
Morning soon came, the only thing waking up the pair was the sun. When Mika lazily opened his eyes, he was met with the face of his childhood friend. The blond furrowed his brows, too dazed from just waking up to comprehend that he could have rolled over in his sleep.
Giving up on it easily, he wrapped his arms around Yuu like the taller one's were around him and buried his face in his chest. He also produced some type of groan as if he was telling the world he was gonna rest for another hour or so.
However, the world didn't seem to like that idea as the raven haired adult woke up a minute later.
He yawned out, "... 'Morning Mik..."
"Nghhh..." was the only reply given.
"We," yawn, "can't sleep forever..."
"Whyyyyyy... nooooottt..." the blond groaned.
"We have stuff to do..."
"No, we donn't..."
Yuu chuckled and mumbled to himself, "It's cute how you don't have a train of thought in the mornings..."
Not hearing him fully, the shorter male pulled his face away from his chest to look up at Yuu, whining drowsily as he furrowed his eyebrows once again in confusion, "Whaaat?"
Finding the sight adorable, the raven haired adult leaned in, and pecked his forehead.
"Fine, half an hour more."
"Mmmmm..." Mika hummed as he closed his eyes and fell fast asleep.
I shouldn't spoil him like this so often, was Yuu's last thought before falling asleep along with him.