Work Text:
Herman stared in awe at the picture Alice had sent him. The two of them had become friends recently and had gotten even closer once he had told her about his little crush on there boss. Speaking of Robert, the picture she sent was of him. He was laying his head down at one of the break room tables, one arm stretched out in front of him and the other acting as a pillow. His lips were parted just slightly and long dark brown lashes fanned over his freckled cheeks. A message popped up underneath the image seconds later
Prism: if you hurry back you might get to see this shit in person. The team decided to let him sleep till lunch ends.
Herman was really regretting going out for tacos today. He knew he should of just let Grandma pack his lunch. His fingers flew across the screen before he could second geuss himself.
Waterbabe: please take more pics for me! Just in case. Omw
Waterbabe: thanks Alice!
Unfortunately he didn't make it back in time to see his crushes sleepy face in person. Apparently sonar had woke him up with the coffee grinder just a few minutes after he received the txt from Alice. On the plus side he now had a new folder in his photo reel labeled 'Sleepy Robert'.
---
Herman was sitting at the bar next to a very drunk Robert Robertson. It was Saturday night and Alice and Flambae had drug everyone out for a night on the town. Flambae ordered the first round of drinks and 'forgot' that Robert wasn't a superhuman like the rest of them and therefore had a normal alcohol tolerance, leading to him getting drunk after just two exceptionally strong drinks. Robert was a surprisingly happy drunk. Giggling and chatting with anyone who walked by. He definitely wasn't going to remember this tomorrow. Herman was a bit worried someone might try to take advantage of the short mans inebriated state and volunteered himself to watch over him.
Robert smiled at Herman, swaying a bit on the bar stool as he turned to face him. Then in a light lilting tone called out "Hermy~" it took everything in him not to openly gawk at the frankly adorable display "buy me another drink. The bartenders an ass and won't gimmi another. M'thirssy."
Herman thought for a moment about openly denying him, knowing it would be a bad idea to give his dispatcher anymore alcohol but the idea that Robert might try to ask someone else if he said no irked him. He didn't want anyone else to hear the cute way the man had asked for the drink. "S-sure. Wait r-right here and don't-dont talk to a- another- any one else"
Herman stood up and walked a few feet away before waving down the bartender. "U-um c-could we- I get a non-alcohol- virgin sh- Shirley Temple. For my bo- uh friend?" The barkeep gave a nodd and walked off, presumably to make the requested drink.
Herman rejoined Robert at the other end of the bar. "I hope you l-like cherry. I got-ordered you a Shirley tem-temple."
"Like anything sweet" the other slurred back with a droopy smile. Shit that was cute. Herman paused for a moment. Robert definitely wasn't going to remember tonight right? He reached for his phone as a puddle started to form at his feet. It wasn't like he was doing anything inappropriate right? They were just sitting at the bar nothing special. He held up his phone to take a picture and just as he snapped it Roberts drink arrived and his face lit up with a bright smile. The image displayed a smiling Robert slumped just slightly over the surface of the bar. His face was flushed from the alcohol and a dimple appeared on his left cheek. Since when did he have dimples?! And how was Herman only just noticing this!
The rest of the night was much of the same. Herman ordering non-alcoholic drinks for his crush and snapping pictures of the drunk man every chance he could until Malevola portaled Robert back to his apartment and laid him down on his new couch. Robert in fact did not remember that night at all and Herman had a new folder in his photo reel labeled 'Robert Drunk'
---
Herman was in the break room eating his lunch when Robert walked in. He waved at Herman as he walked by stopping when he reached the newly repaired vending machine. He purchased a pack of twinkies before moving to the coffee pot and finding there were no more clean mugs on the lower shelves. He stared up at the top shelf for a moment before looking around for something to stand on but finding nothing. "Fuck it" he huffed and began climbing onto the counter top. Herman rushed over before he could get farther than hiking his knee up onto the granite surface. "Don't! I-i-i m-mean it's not sa- it's dangerous. To climb the counter, s-si uh Robert"
Robert chuckled at waterboy's outburst "I've done much more dangerous things than climb a counter top Herm. Besides someone took the stool so I can't reach the coffee cups."
"I c-can h-help. Only i-i-if you want me too! Of c-course..."
Robert smiled at him his big brown eyes soft as he did so. They reminded Herman of his grandmas favorite cat, Oscar. Though if you asked Herman who he liked more, the little brown tabby or his boss the answer would obviously be his boss.
"I'd really appreciate that" Robert turned back to the counter about to point out which mug he wanted when Herman just- picked him up? He flinched, startled by the fact that he was so suddenly being lifted into the air. Herman on the other hand was mortified. What was he thinking! Obviously he was just supposed to grab a cup down for Robert but no! He in all his idiotic glory just reflexively grabbed Robert by his (tiny) waist and picked him up like he was one of his many cat struggling to hop up onto the tallest step of the cat tree.
Before he could stumble his way through an apology Robert just shrugged it off and grabbed a blue mug with the sdn logo printed on the side. Hermans mouth snapped shut with an audible clack from his teeth as he carefully placed him back onto the floor and took a step away to give the shorter man some space. Robert turned back to him with a small smile "thanks Herm". With that he took his newly acquired coffee and twinkies and left. Herman stood there stunned until his phone let out a small ding signaling he had a text. He gushed all over the break room floor when he saw what it was.
A photo of him lifting Robert taken from one of the security cameras in the break room. Underneath was a text from blond- er Mandy
Blond Blaizer (boss): while SDN does allow in office dating please remember to keep all acts of pda to a minimum.
Herman almost dropped his phone typing out a reply trying to explain that he and Robert were not dating (he wished they were) and he was just helping him get a cup for his coffee. Another text came in a few minutes later
Blonde Blaizer (boss): no worries waterboy I was just teasing. Much worse things have happened in that break room..
Hermans face felt like it was on fire and the break room was begining to flood a little
Blonde Blaizer (boss): great move btw. Robert told me once that he liked strong tall guys. Way to go Tiger!
Herman stared at the messages for a moment, then he saved the security photo and created a new folder labeled 'me+Robert"
---
Herman stood in Coupe and Punch Ups apartment next to the couch so he didn't soak the furniture. They had invited everyone over to play cards. The night was great so far, everyone was laughing and getting along as they indulged in a multitude of snacks and drinks. Herman even managed to win a couple rounds of poker and found himself 20 dollars richer (the game had been kept low stakes to keep things friendly). Now as the night was settling in and everyone started to wind down he found himself watching Robert out of the corner of his eye. The man in question was sitting in an armchair off to the side of the couch with Beef lounging in his arms as he was fed little pieces of cheese and ham from Janelle's charcuterie board. Robert cooed at the rotund Chihuahua as he did so.
Herman just couldn't resist so as stealthily as he could he snapped a few pictures from his spot by the couch. "Don't think I didn't catch that one lad" Herman practically jumped out of his skin when he heard Colms voice beside him.
"Th-this is- I mean it not what- I wasn't t-trying t-t-to-"
"Relax bud" Colm gave him a firm pat on his thigh "ole Colm won't tell a soul. Can't really blame ya. It's pretty focking cute"
Herman did relax at the strongman's words "yeah" he breathed out "i-its adorable"
Colm smiled up at him "anyone would want a few pictures of a dog that happy"
"R-right! Beef is a v-very h-happy boy!" Water started to trickle down Hermans face when he realized Punch Up was talking about Beef and not Robert. Or so he thought
"And I won't tell Robert about ya eyeing him either" Colm smirked and waterboy choked on his own water as soon as he said it
A new folder was added to his phone that night. 'Robert+Beef'
---
A-alice! I can't d-d-do this! What if I c-creep him out?!" Prism was shoveling waterboy up the stairs to Roberts apartment while he twisted and fiddled with the stems of the bouquet in his hands. Roses with a bit of babys breath mixed in. It was Friday night and Prism had somehow convinced him to confess his feelings to Robert after work. It had all seemed like a great idea when they had gone shopping for a date outfit and picked up the roses from a local florist but now that he was actually here dressed in leather pants (Alice thought they be a good idea since there basically water proof) and a sopping wet button up he was having second thoughts.
"He's not gonna think your a creep! Damn have some confidence in yourself! Your a catch babe!"
Before Herman could argue Alice was knocking on Roberts door (how did they get there so fast!?) and running away as she reminded him to use a condom. He didn't have time to get embarrassed about her little comment though because the door was already opening. He held his breath as Robert Robertson stepped into the hallway wearing a well worn t shirt and a pair of sweatpants that pooled around his ankles. His hair was messy like he had just woke up from a nap "Herm?"
Herman shook himself out of his daze. It was now or never!
"Do y-you want to- I mean would you l-like to g-g-go out! On a- like a d-date! With me?" He cringed a bit at himself and held out the bouquet of roses. Roberts eyes went wide for a moment, than he took the flowers from the taller man brushing his fingers as he did. A soft smile pulled onto his lips. He looked up at Herman shifting the flowers so he could hold them in the crook of his elbow much like the way he often held Beef. He grabbed the collar of Hermans shirt not caring how wet it was and pulled him closer to his own height as he leaned up and planted a kiss on his dripping cheek. "Give me like five minutes? Don't wanna go on our first date in my pajamas."
All Herman could do was nod dumbly as he brushed his fingers against his cheek were Robert had kissed him.
Robert smiled at that "be right back" then he shut the door to go put on something more presentable for there date.
Herman was standing in the hallway staring at that door when his phone went off. Almost robotically we pulled it out and looked down at his messages. It was a picture of him taken from behind . He was slouched over as Robert planted a kiss on his cheek. Beef at their feet looking up with his tongue lolling to the side.
Prism: proud of you babe
Herman smiled and added the picture to a new folder. He labeled it with a simple pink heart emoji. Then realization hit him and he frantically typed out a message to Alice
Waterbabe: we forgot to plan the actual date!!!!!!!! Help!!!!