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Twilight Movie Night AU
“Please, Regulus, please. I never ask for anything.”
“Not true. You ask for stuff all the time.”
“All I want is for you to watch this with me and Sirius.”
“All you want is for me to spend 10 hours watching absolutely nothing.”
“No, that’s not true. Just watch the first one, then you can see if you want to continue.”
“Why do you need me and Remus to watch with you? You and Sirius watch it together all the time.”
“Yes, but it's our favorite movie, and we want to watch it with you guys. Pretty please, starlight. I'll even make the popcorn.”
“Fine. I'll watch the first movie with you.”
“Yes, yes, yes!!! Reggie, you won’t regret this. You’re gonna love this.”
“Wait. I'll only watch it if Remus also does. I'm not going through this alone.”
“Fine. If I got you to agree, I can get Remus to agree.”
“Moony.”
“What, James?”
“Remember when were in year 11 and I became friends with Sirius an invited him to our party,” James asks slyly.
“Yes,” Remus replies hesitantly.
“And then u said, ‘James, if you get him to come here I’ll owe you forever.’”
“What I remember is doing a billion things for you since then.”
“Yes, and I appreciate that, BUT I never actually cashed in that favor.”
“Jesus, James, did you kill someone?”
“No! I NEEEEEED you to watch Twilight with me and Sirius.”
“Why? You watch it just the 2 of you all the time.”
“Yes, but Regulus said hell only watch it with us if you also watch it, so this is where that favor comes in.”
“James. Sirius has asked me maybe 10 times to watch it with him. I dont want it to. It’s boring.”
“No, it’s cinematic mastery. It's beautiful. It’s art.”
“James, no.”
“Remus, I'm pulling out a best friend card if you say no.”
“James, if you pull a best friend card, I'll tell Sirius you called me your best friend.”
“Remus, you owe me. I'm begging you.”
“Fine. One movie. Not the whole series, James.”
“Great!! I'm making popcorn. Be in the living room in 5.”
“PADFOOT!!!!!”
“PRONGS!!!!”
“Pads, come here. They agreed to watch with us.”
“No way. How the hell did you get both to agree?”
“Im just so perfect like that.”
“Usually I’d argue on that point, but right now I dont think I’ve ever been so excited.”
“You realize they're both going to criticize the whole thing.”
“I have faith in Edward Cullen to win them over.”
“I think it'll be Jasper for Remus.”
“Well, its gonna be Jacob for Regulus.”
“No, he cant. I’d actually cry if hes team Jacob.”
Jmaes makes the popcorn and sets up the couch. He puts out blankets because he knows that Regulus will want them. He gets the movie up on the screen and sends out a text on their group chat.
James: EMERGENCY ALERT REGULUS AND REMUS AGREED TO WATCH TWILIGHT TONIGHT!!!!! I EXPECT YOU ALL TO COME AND BE AT OUR DORM IN 5 MINUTES!!
Sirius: this is not a drill they actually said yes!! Movie starting in 4
Mary: ill be there in 3
Lilly: be there in 2. I wouldnt miss james crying over regulus being team jacob for anything
Barty: I don't know how the hell you got them to agree to watch it but me and evan are coming. Be there in 4
Regulus: remus i had faith that you would get him to give up on this now im stuck watching this
Remus: he threatened me with best friend card
Marlene: james IM your best friend how dare you do this to me (im there in 2 mins)
Peter: James, I thought we had something, how could you!! I'll be there in a sec
Sirius: JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER YOU ARE BANNED FROM THIS MOVIE NIGHT
James: GUYS!!!!!!! I DIDN'T ACTUALLY USE ONE!!! IT WAS A THREAT!!! HOW DARE YOU ALL HAVE NO FAITH IN ME!!!!!
Everyone arrives at the same time and jumps on the couches. Regulus lies his head on James’ lap, Sirius leans his head on Remus's shoulder, Mary, Marlene, and Lily sit on the floor, Peter sits on the chair, Barty puts his feet in Evan's lap. James turns the movie on, and everyone goes silent as the movie starts.
It's silent for about the first 30 seconds until Bella starts talking.
Intro scene
Regulus: why the fuck is she talking about dying oh holy fuck is that a PERSON chasing that deer
Mary: reggie give it a chance its been less than a minute
It’s quiet for another few minutes until Jacob comes on the screen.
Jacob’s first scene
Remus: oh i can tell hes gonna be hot i fcking love Taylor lautner
Lilly: you know id tell you to shut up except taylors a freaking god
Everyone is queit till the cafecteria scene.
Cullens intro scene
Remus: oh god why are they all so hot
Reg: no emmets stunning james you get big like that
Remus: ooh look at blondie hes stunning
Marlene: omg u guys how are you igniring alice look at her shes such a queen
James: shut up look at edward hes perfect
Biology class
Remus: no he looks a little creepy why is he glarimg at her oh shit did he just—why is he acting like she smells bad he lit put a hand over his nose
Reg: ya he seems—oh hes back to staring and god now hes running awuy
Evan: r u guys missing the whole point hes so hot i love him
Barty: ur actually cheating on me with him Evan
Bella’s monologue
Remus: wait he's just not showing up to school
Sirius: just wait
Biology class 2
Regulus: oh look creepy guys back she knows who you are
Barty: who the fuck wants to win a golden onion
Lily: ahhhh hes such a cutie look at his smile
Mary: hes so confused im obsessed
Barty: any cold wet thing like grrr go away
James: wait shhhh this is such a cute part
Sirius: you see hes trying to get to know her remusssss why dont you try to get to know me
Peter: look at his eyes they're stunning oh god now she believes him
Regulus: he seems very confused
Marlene: its not the fluorescent love
Car crash + hospital
Mary: shit shit no no yay go edward he saved her
Regulus: why would he just leave her
Remus: oh look at jasper he looks very hot oh holy fuck who is the hot doctor omg
Barty: bella shut up stop telling people stuff
Sirius: oh family meeting
Regulus: valid question why is he gaslighting her
Evan: ya but he looks hot gaslighting her so
Marlene: did she not already tell hot doctor on him
James: i would enjoy disappointment
Bella’s dream
Regulus: ew now he’s stalking her in her sleep
James: no baby she dreamt him there
Composting field trip
Lily: ew get this weirdo Eric off our screen she doesn’t wanna go anywhere with you
Regulus: damn straight Floridians are in Jacksonville
Remus: she should have said her boyfriend
Regulus: yes he would have cried
Evan: he doesn’t have to be so mean
Marlene: see I told y’all Alice is a queen she’s so sweet
Sirius: tell him to stop saying that
In the cafeteria
Remus: they’re also giving me whiplash
Regulus: did we not already see him eating a deer I’m pretty sure he is the bad guy
James: LA PUSH goddamn
At La Push
Barty: that may have been the emptiest beach I’ve ever seen
Mary: fuck yes girl power
Regulus: Jacob’s back much better
Lily: I don’t like Jessica why would she say that she doesn’t seem very nice
Intro to Laurent, James, and Victoria
Sirius: ahhh I don’t like this part Remus save me
James: oh damn she’s here I hate them
Lily: she could have been such a diva
Port Angeles
Mary: those guys are really creepy.. Yessss Edward save her so good
James: come on love admit that was sexy
Regulus: why is everyone in this town strange like put your damn seatbelt on it’s not that hard why is he laughing at her
Sirius: omg his charm is perfect I would also fluster
Evan: so casually saying I can read minds like that’s not normal
Barty: exposing them tho
Remus: why can’t he read her mind tho like that’s my question also
Regulus: what is this DING like his hand isn’t metal
Mary: what do you mean what is he doing here can’t he read minds
Vampire realization scene + mountains scene
Peter: he's following her. This is not good
Marlene: omg I take everything back she’s the stalker.
Lily: is anyone else getting the creeps say it say it
Remus: but we already knew this why is it so dramatic like we saw him eating the deer
Mary: I don’t like that he’s dragging her
James and Sirius: he’s sparkly
Regulus: disco ball??
Barty and Evan: shine bright like a DIAMOND
Peter: believe it he did kill people oh but she doesn’t care like I care
Remus: again very dramatic what is this why is he uprooting trees and telling her he wants to kill her
Marlene: yess call her a drug again very sexy how dare a girl make you want her
Lily: she really is coming onto him
Mary: oh he’s trapping her but she’s afraid of not being trapped
Lily: wait that’s really cute the lion and the lamb
Mary: at least he acknowledges he’s masochistic
James and Sirius: ABOUT 3 THINGS WAS I ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE
James: FIRST, EDWARD WAS A VAMPIRE
Sirius: SECOND, THERE WAS A PART OF HIM AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW DOMINANT THAT PART MIGHT BE THAT THIRSTED FOR MY BLOOD
James: AND THIRD, I WAS UNCONDITIONALLY AND IRREVOCABLY IN LOVE WITH HIM
School first couple appearance
Mary: oh my god that is hot Edward core
Barty: I would be staring too
Bella’s invite
Remus: oh he’s jumping on cars that’s fun
Regulus: Jacob's back and oh he likes her he should like me. James introduce me to Taylor Lautner
James: Regulus I don’t know Taylor
Regulus: I don’t care you made me watch this I want to meet him
Cullen’s house
Evan: god forbid moats
Peter: oh here comes the human that’s not weird
Mary: goddamn breaking dishes over her already eating
Marlene: ooh Alice I love her she’s so real like ya duh we’re gonna be friends
Remus: oh look at Jasper being fine as fuck
Regulus: I forbid you to ever call me spider monkey
Sirius: he’s playing her a song awww I love that
In Bella’s room
Remus: why are we waiting 30 seconds for him to put his face to hers
Peter: oh just sitting there talking all night man let her sleep
Baseball game
Mary: these fits are eating
Remus: Jasper spinning that bat oohhhh
Marlene: look at Alice throw that’s so sexy
Peter: oh god my monkey man
Sirius: oh no oh no oh no I don’t like them he’s scary she’s scary Remusssss
Lily: I AM LAURENT why he say it like that
Remus: oh god I can handle that
James: oh god the way he defends her is really hot