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Growing up Barnaby's Mama was always very affectionate towards him. She'd wrap him into big hugs, and kiss his forehead at least once a day. And it was always a sweet gesture! She never let him think even for a minute that he wasn't loved. Despite what happened with his bio family.
That being said... He gotten so used to having a lot of physical contact his whole life. So once he moved out...
It was an infuriating change not touching another basically ever.
And even once he gotten close to everyone within Home. It still wasn't an easy fix.
As honestly he didn't actually feel like he was all that close to six of them. Sure they got along well enough that they could be called friends. But not to the point that he'd touch them unwarranted. Or even ask to touch more, as even that felt too personal.
And then there was Wally and Howdy, who he would say he's actually close enough with to touch, and could ask for more.
Howdy was immediately out of the question. Because to put it lightly, Howdy has what he likes to call 'toxic masculinity. He still tried to be more affectionate towards him with hugs or hands on the other shoulder every now and again. But the other always shrugs him off. As in Howdy own words- 'He doesn't want people to get the wrong idea about their relationship.'
Cause apparently one touch with the same sex meant you were gay for them or something? Although he's pretty sure it has more to with the fact that they really were close friends. And since neither of them have girlfriends, he's worried people will talk.
And sure maybe they could, and that'll probably be bad for their safety. But he also really didn't think anyone within Home, other then Howdy, would care. They all nine were weirdos in their own ways.
The point is-
Wally was his only choice for any kind of touch. And while he always insisted that he didn't mind touching a lot if it makes him happy. He also couldn't help but feel bad about it anyway. As touch can sometimes be very overwhelming, or confusing- specifically hugs- to Wally.
So while the two of them do touch a lot, he still always tried to rein in some of his desire for physical contact. Usually just settling for just a hand on the other shoulder or back, or sometimes while walking, hand holding. As Wally insisted on that now and again, not even just with him. It was adorable. And there was no way he was going to miss out on it!
He has thought about the fact that people might think that they're in some kind of relationship because of not only the touching, but also how just in general they are extremely close. They literally spent every day together. But in all honesty as long as it doesn't hurt Wally, he doesn't care what others think. Besides, technically the hand holding is the main thing that you might could validly question. But he does that with anyone who will let him. And again, only those in Home would even know about that anyway.
Every now and again though, the lack of touch bothers him far more then most of the time. That it was almost better just to not be around other people for a while. As he'll be tempted to touch them even if he shouldn't.
Wally wouldn't let him avoid him though. If he doesn't go and visit him, he'll just in up wherever he was. whether it be at his own home, or out in the woods. And it's fair enough, if he didn't see Wally one day, he'll immediately get very worried about him. He wasn't joking about hanging out everyday.
And it's not like he even wanted to be away from Wally. It's the opposite. Which is the problem.
So as he and Wally is sat playing tic tac toe.
He's just barely resisting grabbing onto Wally, and pulling him to a tight embrace.
Technically the other might be alright with that. But if he held him now, he might not let him go for a very long time. And he likes to believe he has more self control than that.
"Barnaby?"
He's yanked out of his thoughts by Wally calling him.
"Yeah bud?"
Wally stares at him with a uncertain look. "Are you okay? It's been your turn for a while."
Shoot- Has it?
"Oh- Uh yeah. Sorry, just got lost in thought. You know how it is." He waves it off all too easily. Now setting a X on the board.
The other just continues to stare at him for a moment. "Yes..." He now sets another O too.
But he couldn't help but stare at the other hand far too intensely as he does so.
And just as he was pulling his hand back, without thinking, He gently slipped his hand within his own.
Causing Wally to tense ever so slightly, looking at their hands before his face in confusion.
The other doesn't ask, and easily eases as he starts rubbing his thumb over said hand faintly. The softness of the other hand eases a bit of his own tension finally as well.
The other continues to stare at him, as he stares at their intertwined hands.
"Barnaby?" The other now questions again.
Him taking a deep inhale, hoping he's ready for whatever he's going to say this time. "Yeah?"
"Do you want a hug?"
Holy guacamole- Yes!
"That's okay, I know you're not a fan." He waves off instead of being honest.
Wally stares at him for a long moment. He could only guess, unconvinced.
"I don't mind. I like them sometimes."
He raised a brow. "Do you want one now though?"
"That doesn't matter. I want you to feel better."
He huffs with fondness. "You're sweet Wally. But seriously I'm fine."
The other continues to stare at him.
Before shifting to sit closer to him. And using his other hand to pat his arm.
"Pfft-" He couldn't help but grin. "What are you doing?"
"Petting you." the other declared with his own smile.
He barked a laugh, as warmth fills his chest. The ache in his limbs now smoothing over easily at the softness of the touches. "Thanks kid."
He wouldn't have thought something so seemingly small would make him feel this much better. But the tenderness from Wally caring was what made it mean something other than just a random touch. And maybe that's what he misses the most.
That's the thing about Wally though, he also always made sure he knew he was loved. He just shows it a bit diffidently than his Ma did. But he always listens to every word he says.
And he'll always appreciate Wally. Just as much as he knows the other appreciates him right back.