Chapter Text
She didn't know if she should message him. It had been a year since they spent that one night together, and they hadn't had contact since. She had thought about messaging him. Many times. But. She didn't want to be a typical fan who was lucky enough to get an idol's number and then bother them with hundreds of messages.
It was the day of Stray Kids' first concert in London, and she was on her way to the stadium. On the train, she decided it wouldn't hurt to send a message.
Good luck tonight! I'll be there cheering you on. Fighting!
She grimaced. It was better than her first attempt: I'll be watching you. But it still felt a little weird. Despite this, she pressed send. He probably wouldn't even see it. By now, he could've changed his number or even blocked her.
She sighed and locked her phone.
Only a few minutes later, it buzzed. She checked her phone and stared at the notification in shock.
Hyunjin: I see you?
Yes! When?
As she pressed send, she wondered whether the exclamation mark was too enthusiastic, but she didn't ponder it for long as he replied quickly.
Hyunjin: After concert?
The Idol gave her instructions on where to go, and she didn't know how she was going to make it through the concert, knowing what would be happening afterwards. How on earth was she going to be able to concentrate on their performance?
The train was packed until they got to the stop near the stadium, and everyone got off. She had been a little worried about walking around the area since she learnt that it was dodgy, but there had been no need. There was a crowd of people to follow from the station to the stadium. When she got there, the roads around the stadium were closed off for safety reasons, which meant cars were one less thing to worry about.
Checking her ticket, she looked for signs to show her where her entry door was. She ended up walking all the way around to the opposite side of the stadium. There were lines everywhere in every direction. Luckily, she heard some STAY asking what doors the line next to her was for, and it was the one she wanted.
Although she had gotten in time for the doors opening, the queue was very slow-moving. She observed the fans around her. Parents arranged to meet their children after the concert while they waited in a pub nearby. Others were buying hot dogs to eat while they waited in the queue. Friends choosing what earrings to wear and sticking gems around their eyes. Meanwhile, she stood there quietly and alone.
Suddenly, the queue started moving, and before she knew it, she was inside. There were lots of staff inside to show fans where to go. She had an hour before the show, and she had a plan. First, toilet, second, food and water, third, seat. With plenty of time to spare, she was sitting in her seat, and it wasn't a bad view. She was in the lower seating area, in line with the extended stage, so she was fairly close, but with a side view.
She sighed, wishing that one day she would get to experience being on the barrier just once in her life. But that was what everyone wanted, and she had neither the money nor the strength to fight for it. She didn't want to risk being in the pit and seeing nothing like she did at Hyde Park last year. At least up in the seats, she would be able to see the choreography the Idols had worked so hard to learn.
Getting her lightstick - which she had bought only two weeks ago and was relieved that it arrived on time - out of her bag, she put in the batteries she hoped would last for the next three hours. The sun went down just enough that the sides of the stadium blocked it from shining in her eyes. She checked the time and saw it was only a few minutes before the concert was meant to start. Suddenly, cheers and screams erupted from fans nearby, and she realised that she could see the Idols as they went up the stairs to the back of the stage.
The intro was epic, and she wished she had recorded it. As each member of Stray Kids appeared, she realised how much she had missed them. Her heart filled with happiness, and the lingering feelings of a bad week faded into the background. She couldn't see their faces clearly from this distance and wished she had a pair of binoculars. The screens on either side of the stage were very good quality, but she saw them through a screen all the time. She was here to see them in person. The knowledge that she would be seeing them, or at least one of them, up close and in person later kept her from being too upset at the current distance between her and Idols.
A few songs in, she felt a tap on her arm. She turned to the fan next to her but couldn't hear what they said, so she leaned in closer.
"Haven't you been to a concert before? Move, dance, wave."
The fan demonstrated by waving her lightstick. She nodded and turned back to face the stage, and tried to be more vigorous with her lightstick waving.
To be honest, she felt self-conscious in crowds. She was an introvert who preferred staying at home alone. But she loved K-pop, so she went to concerts. However, she wasn't like the other fans. She rarely screamed, she didn't jump, and she didn't like putting her hands in the air. She was content to watch calmly and sing along quietly. The encounter with the fan had left her feeling upset that it had been pointed out she wasn't enjoying the concert the same way everyone else was.
She found it hard to concentrate. So much was going on, and she didn't know where to look. Her eyes darted between where the members were on stage and the screens showing close-ups. This got harder when they weren't doing choreography as the members were spread out. She was so distracted deciding where to look that she suddenly realised they were singing one of her favourite songs, Cover Me, and wondered when it had started.
She sang along to the rest of the song. Seungmin sang 'cover me now' at the end, and she automatically sang the following tune even though those around her were screaming. As she sang to herself, she looked at the screens to see Chan waving one hand in the air like a music conductor and the other to his ear, showing that he was listening. It was then that she realised the Idol was expecting fans to be singing it to him, and he looked confused when he didn't hear the climax of the melody. She wondered if they had said to sing it back to them. She hadn't heard anything, but between the screams and the echo, it was hard to understand what they were saying.
When they got in the carts to travel around the edge of the stadium's floor, she wondered how close they would be to her. The fans in the first row were so lucky. They were ever so slightly closer, so she could just about make out their features. She leaned forward on her tippy toes to get a better look and got a face full of lightstick. The fan in front of her had suddenly thrown up her arms and waved her lightstick wildly, and hit her with it accidentally. She stepped back and held her hand to her face. Her cheek stung, but luckily it had missed her eye.
The concert passed far too quickly. It had not felt like three hours had passed when they said goodbye for the second - or maybe third - time. They weren't wearing the tour t-shirts, so it didn't seem real, but when the lights came on, and screams echoed as the Idols were spotted leaving backstage, she knew it was definitely over.
It was very busy, so it took a while for her to find where Hyunjin had told her to go. There were butterflies deep in her stomach, and disbelief in the back of her mind that this was really happening again. Last year had felt like a dream, and some days she wondered if she had dreamed it all. The number saved in her phone and the text message with the hotel address were the only proof she had that it had happened.
A staff member led her through the stadium, and she wondered why Hyunjin was meeting her here instead of at the hotel he was staying at. Maybe he just wanted to say a quick hello rather than a repeat of last year. She wrung her hands as her thoughts went wild. But her worry disappeared as she entered a room and was greeted by Hyunjin's bright smile. And then her stomach dropped when his face turned from happy to shocked. Was he expecting someone else? Did he forget who she was?
Hyunjin walked up to her and lifted his hand to her cheek.
"What happen? You hurt?"
It took a minute for her brain to start working again after suddenly having the Idol so close.
"What? I don't -"
He brushed his thumb across her cheek, and she winced in pain. Apparently, the lightstick had done some damage.
"Bruise."
"Ah, I got hit by a lightstick."
Hyunjin's eyes widened and pointed to the lightstick in her hand.
"Lightstick? Lightstick hit you?"
"Yeah..."
She looked down, embarrassed. Hyunjin turned and looked around for something.
"I get you -"
"Here you go, Jinnie."
Chan suddenly appeared holding a first aid kit, and only then did she realise that the rest of Stray Kids were also in the room. She looked around in shock and didn't know whether to wave or hide.
"Come and sit down. Hyunjin will fix you up."
She wanted to protest, but instead she let the Idols guide her to a chair at the side of the room. Hyunjin placed the first aid kit on a nearby table as he knelt on the floor in front of her. She looked down at her lap, letting her hair fall over her face so she could hide. Hyunjin's handsome face was making her blush. Although she had gotten comfortable with Hyunjin last year, their night together felt like a lifetime ago. So much had changed since then.
Hyunjin tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Your hair shorter."
"So is yours."
The dancer laughed and ran a hand over his head. STAY had been shocked when Hyunjin had revealed his shaved head at the end of last year. It was a massive change for the Idol who was known for having long hair.
"It grow a lot."
It turned out she didn't just have a bruise on her cheek, but a cut, so Hyunjin applied medicine and a band-aid.
"Thank you."
Hyunjin packed away the first aid kit before looking up at her with a smile.
"I happy you message me."
She couldn't hold eye contact with him. How could she after he said such a thing? She felt like she would burst with happiness.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I - I'm sorry I never message you." Hyunjin let out a breathy chuckle, his brows furrowed as he ran his fingers through his hair and dropped his head. "I'm such an arsehole."
She reached out her hand to comfort him, but stopped short of touching him. It still didn't feel right.
"It's okay. I didn't expect you to."
Hyunjin's head whipped up, and he stared at her with wide eyes.
"You speak Korean?"
"A little. I've been studying a lot this year."
"Amazing!"
Suddenly, there was a lot of movement in the room.
"Time to go, everyone!"
Hyunjin stood up and held out his hand to her. She took it and stood up as well, expecting to say goodbye.
"Can you stay with me tonight?"
"What?"
Her head was spinning as Hyunjin held her hand between both of his and smiled sweetly as he gazed into her eyes.
"Stay with me?"
There was only one thing she could say.
"Yes."