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It was her fault—as always, this was her fault.
She sucks back her breath and presses her eyes closed as she rolls onto her side and hugs her pillow to her chest in an effort to hold back her tears. But the attempt fails miserably and the tears stream down her cheeks, and she finds herself wondering how she could have messed this up so badly—how she could have messed up the one positive thing she had in her life, the one thing that made her smile and made her heart feel light, the one thing that gave her hope that she could be okay.
And she wonders why she hadn’t been able to stop herself.
She can still hear Maleficent’s soft voice growing shaky and she can still see her blue eyes growing distant as confusion set in; and she can still feel her hand drawing back as she’d said it—Tell me again…because I don’t believe you—and Regina had. She’s still not sure how she’d managed to keep the emotion from her voice or how her hands had stayed so still, but she’d withdrawn further and told her again that she didn’t love her and she told her again that the affair they’d been having was over—it hadn’t meant anything.
And now, she was left alone without the only person who could comfort her.
Rolling onto her back, she opens her eyes and her vision blurs as her tears well. She exhales slowly—it had been so petty, she’d been so petty. Maleficent was only worried about her, she was only trying to help—she’d certainly never meant to hurt her, and she most certainly never meant for it to be their end.
They’d been lying together with the blankets tangled around them. A dulling fire flickered in the fireplace and Maleficent’s long, slender fingers had been trailing up and down her arm. She’d smiled gently in that way that always made Regina smile and she’d asked her to stay—not just for the night, but forever. Regina’s lip caught between her teeth and she’d pulled back slightly, finding it easier to think with a bit of distance between them. Maleficent had asked again and Regina found herself shaking her head—she couldn’t. Maleficent pressed closer and again smiled, knowing the effect she would have, and for a split second, Regina found herself nodding—and found herself betraying herself.
Maleficent’s smile had been so sweet and so wanting and it made her heart flicker with the sort of feelings Regina had long suppressed. Her voice continued to urge, continued to coax and Regina had been so close to giving in, so close to taking her advice to forget the king and forget everything else—the vengeance and the hatred, the betrayal and the anger.
And then she felt a flicker of something else—a nagging guilt that crept up whenever she felt even the slightest bit of happiness.
It had escalated from there until voices piqued and tempers were flaring. And then she’d said it and as soon as the words left her lips, she regretted them and she wished more than anything she could take them back—yet she made not effort to do so.
Now, she was alone—alone and devastated, heart-broken and full of self-loathing, left to wonder why she couldn’t leave the past behind her, why she couldn’t move on and why she couldn’t be happy. And the one person who could comfort her, the one person who would fold her arms around her and tell her it would be okay, the one person who loved her was gone—and it was her fault.
Dipping her head forward, she buries her face into her pillow, letting it muffle her desperate sobs as tears continue to streak down her cheeks and jaw, trailing down her throat and pooling into wet spots on her nightdress. She loses track of time as Maleficent’s words—Tell me again…because I don’t believe you—play over and over again, hating herself for repeating them.
Her breath catches in her throat as she feels a hand slide up her back, gently rubbing circles against the fabric of her nightdress. For a brief moment, she doesn’t respond, thinking she’s only imagining her touch—but then she feels warm lips on her jaw and fingers running through her hair—and it’s too real to ignore.
She holds her breath as she lifts her head and at first, she’s unable to make eye contact. But Maleficent lifts her chin with finger and Regina’s face crumbles as soon as their eyes meet, and she murmurs over and over again that she’s sorry.
“Oh, my darling,” Maleficent whispers as her arms fold around Regina. “It’s okay.” She laughs gently as she trails her fingers over her arm in way that’s soothingly familiar. “It’s okay. I still didn’t believe you.”
Regina lifts her head and takes a breath as Maleficent brushes away her tears with her thumbs. “Can you…forgive me? Mal, I…” Regina’s voice halts and the words catch in her throat. She takes another breath and turns her face, nuzzling against Maleficent’s hand and dropping a quick kiss to her palm. “I do…love you,” she manages in a barely audible whisper.
The confession is met by silence; and her heart clenches and she wonders if she somehow misunderstood.
But then Maleficent’s fingers slip beneath her chin, lifting it and forcing their eyes to meet as a grin twists onto her lips and her eyebrow arches knowingly. “Tell me again…because I don’t believe you.”
“I love you,” Regina repeats, this time with more confidence behind her words as a smile creeps onto her lips. “I love you.”