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He clocked me.
Mydei had found out I had gooned for him and he did not take it well.
“Seriously? Gooning over me? You’re sick.”
“What’s wrong with gooning for you Mydei? You’re the most girlypop, most redpilled, most GYATT man i’ve ever glazed. No literally.”
He rolled his eyes. “Woah. I’m literally screaming.”
“No hear me out- I knew it had to be you as soon as you stuck out your level 10 GYATT!!! I was like- who is this DIVA? 💜 It had to be YOU 💜 FRFR!!”
“Just put the fries in the bag lil bro.” The golden haired warrior scoffed, clearly not intending to hear him yap any longer. “I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this, but you were glazing me like you were a mid-npc simp. All you ever saw was my GYATT! You never saw any of my infinite aura points- what you wanted was to glaze the girlypop sussy baka imposter version of myself in your head but not the real DIVA 💜 within me! Hope that helps.”
“Oh that’s not-”
“Bombastic Sideye.” He glared. “Criminal. OFFENSIVE. SIDE EYE.”
“Mydei-” The gray-haired hero shooketh. “I’ve always thought of you as the Livvy Dunne to my Baby Gronk. I’m sorry- i acted like such a- cringe side character. I was always on the verge of a menty b by just the thought of you thinking i had no rizz. I-”
“This is sending me! Chat? Is this real!?” Mydei interjected with a mocking smile. ”You thought you ate with that didn’t you? Biiiiiiiig yikes.”
“I just wanted you to think I was goated on god again. No cap. 🙏🙏🙏”
“Phainon- you’re so delulu if you think i’ll ever consider you my prince rizzler. Be glad we’re both chrysos heirs then at least we owe each other fanum tax but other than that? Consider yourself cooked.”
“Mydei- can we never be gucci again?”
“Donatella… VERSACE 💜”
As soon as those words escaped his lips, Phainon knew he had taken a BIIIIIIIIG L. He couldn’t even feel salty, but the vibes between the two had gotten so vile it was time to let go. He understood the assignment but Phainon couldn’t deny himself. He was a simp, a down-bad gooner through and through so he’ll continue to goon for Mydei, even if he was serving him a bombastic side eye every time they met.
A month had passed and their vibes were still so off that even Aglaea and Tribbie took notice. Right as Mydei was training, Aglaea took Phainon aside and ordered a yappucino.
“What’s the tea? Spill.” Aglaea had clocked that something was wrong.
Phainon was afraid to share matters because it’s giving: ‘I don’t have my life together’ but knew that eventually she would clock that he was a beta-male simp ASAP. “The tea- the tea is scalding Madam Aglaea, are you sure?”
“The vibes are off between you two. This only happened back in skibidi ohio. like- i’m literally screaming.”
“Erm? What the sigma?”
“You’re so unserious.” She shook her head. “Spill, cuz no cap, if you don’t the chrysos heirs are cooked.”
He relented. “It was just me, being a beta-male. I rizzed up and glazed mydei, but I took an L and now the vibes are all off.” Phainon glanced at Mydei training his gyatt and sighed. “But aglaea- I still think he’s such a DIVA 💜. I’ll continue to goon, even if he thinks i’m a mid-npc not worth giving a good bussing glizzy. When he sticks out his level 10 GYATT like that it just makes me want to rizz him up good.”
“You’re not like you when you’re simping.” Aglaea clocked. “You’re usually a sigma with infinite aura points, what happened?”
“Maybe it was me being delulu. Just as he said, maybe I don’t have main character energy- maybe I was just a mid npc gooner all along.”
“Hold on. Lemme cook.” She places a hand on his shoulder in encouragement. “I know how much mydei mewed. He mewed like no other. He has went through so much skibidi ohio that he deserves a sigma like you. All he needs is time, some folks glazed for years before they got a bussing glizzy. i’m sure he’s just not reading the vibes well after all those years of mewing.”
“You- you really think we could hard launch together on the gram?”
“Gyattsolutely.” She smiled. “What would you do if when you okay so he said yes would go?”
“Real. You’re so FR for that madam aglaea.”
“MAMA-!! MAMA-!!!!”
Both of us were standing in surprise. It was Tribbie and Trinnon, about to spill some tea on a disastrous skibidi ohio.
“Tribbie, Trinnon go on and yap.”
“MAMA-!! A girl! Mama- a girl behind YOU!! 💜” Trinnon pointed behind the two heirs. We sprung into action and GYATT the situation is DIRE. Underneath the gaze of the Cunty Kephale with a Handbag, Ohkema was being locked in by a bunch of sussy titankins.
“They are about to reach Ellie and Mason house!” Tribbie warned “GYATTDAMN! Mydei is holding them off but i don’t know if his GYATT can take more- Agy what do we do??”
“We have to lock in as well. Phainon!”
“Kamakura Kamakura yas queen!”
“We don’t want F’s in the chat. Go and help Mydei slaughter all those beta males and give them all a Big L! Now is the chance to be a Sigma. Be out for Mydei’s gyatt, did you understand the assignment?”
“Donatella VERSACE 💜”
“Good. Those mid npcs messed with the wrong neighborhood.”