Chapter Text
I always thought I was a good kid. Always quiet and obedient. Doing what I was told and listening to adults was my job. I did the heavy lifting and I matured quickly. Because that's a child's job. But there was this immature part of me.
There was a lingering fear of the dark. Never did I turn off the light. There was always a night light. Some type of guiding brightness that blinded me. This time was different. There was no light. Nothing but darkness. I needed to face my fear.
Yes, I was terrified of it. Seeing only the pitch black cold darkness. But there was a warmth. Something that told me I was going to be okay. That I would make it through these troubling times. I never wanted to. But this time. This time I really wanted to.
I had something. I had somebody. Something to keep me here. It wasn't much, but at least it was good. So, I grasped onto that thought. The thought that once this was over, I'd go back to that something. I'd come back and finally be able to sleep with the lights off.
There'd be no need for some silly old night light. No need to constantly change the bulbs. Spend less money on the light bill. I'd have more money, more of an excuse to go out. More of an excuse to move around all the time. I never seemed to sit still. I never liked it after all. There was always something I had to do, so I had grown used to the feeling. But.. I couldn’t move.
I had to endure this. I had to take on this specific hardship. You see, I was always afraid of the dark. If you'd been through what I've dealt with, you would be too. But I had to face the fear head on. And I did, I really did.
And I could never, ever go back.