Chapter Text
Damn it was cold! “Why did it have to get this cold?” Emma thought as she walked along the pier. She knew it was past time for her to head home, but she was still pissed.
What did Hook want from her? A promise? A commitment? Well, either way, he wanted more than she was ever willing to give him. She couldn’t help but smile bitterly as she replayed her argument with him earlier.
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“Damn it Swan! I want you to want me! Why can’t you see that? I’ve given up everything for you! My ship, my way of life, my freedom - for you and that bloody son of yours!” Hook screamed at Emma from across the loft, not caring that Henry was up stairs.
“I never asked you to! It’s not my fault that you read into whatever this is! And why the fuck are you bringing Henry into this? He isn’t some pawn for you to play to try and get to me!” Emma roared, pissed that Hook would even think to bring her son into their fight. It was a low blow that Hook knew would rile her up, especially after the struggle she had had with Regina over being a mother to him.
“He might not be a pawn, but he sure is the only one that you bloody well love, outside of that woman you are always pining after!” Hook felt justified in a second low blow, knowing that it would either bring Emma to knees or rile her up further.
“If you’re so jealous of an imaginary relationship, then go! I don’t have to put up with this from you!” Emma fired at the pirate, feeling ready to set the man on fire.
At that Hook stormed towards the door. With smoke practically steaming out of his ears, he slammed it it on his way out.
Hesitantly, Henry walked down the stairs and over to his mother.
“You know you deserve so much more than him, right?” Henry asked as he gave Emma a hug.
Hugging him back, Emma “I know kid. I know.”
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The only positive part of that argument was that it gave Emma a chance to seriously examine her feelings. Hook’s comment about “that woman you are always pining after” isn’t far off target. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, Regina still had her heart. Emma knew that she would never fully get over Regina. How could she? They had planned on getting married before all of the crap with Neverland and Neal began. Why did she have to mess up something so great? So perfect?
Shaking her head, Emma couldn’t help berate herself for always messing up the good things in her life. She ruined things with Hook, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. She messed up things with her parents, taking them years to tentatively repair that damage. She messed things up with Henry when she became the Dark One, and she feels like it will take her years to repair that damage.
She knew that despite all of her failings, she would repair the damage to her relationship with her parents and Henry. It may be a long time coming, but she was determined to have at least a few good things in her life.
While repairing her relationships with her parents and son would be difficult, the one relationship that she feared she would never be able to repair was with Regina. She knew deep down that it is the one that she most desperately wanted to.
Knowing that her family is a big deal in her life, she still felt that something was missing. It felt like someone was missing.
Regina.
Man, did she know she had messed up. Lost one of the best things in her life. Henry was the only reason they still talked, if you called their tense discussions over his wellbeing talking.
Finally walking to the end of the pier, she sat on the bench that at one point in time was her favorite place. It was the one spot they could be alone, away from prying eyes. To just talk, to be.
As she became lost in her thoughts she stared into the water, watching the reflection of the moon dance over the depths of the bay.
Click, click, click.
“So tell me, how long did it take you to get over me?”
“Who said I ever got over you?”