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“Maybe in… another universe… just not this one… maybe… in a year or so, just… not now.”
Lute couldn't help but remember that day she rejected the only girl who actually cared for her—though it didn't seem to matter now—as she sat up in her bed in this shitty hotel, sloppily getting dressed before heading downstairs for a morning coffee... again.
“How long can you even go without caffeine at this point?”
Vaggi said, nudging Lute and laughing softly, to no real effect, since Lute still wasn't smiling, before Vaggi chuckled too. It reminded her of the old days… when life was simpler—just exorcists doing their jobs and sometimes messing around with each other. At least, that’s how Lute would put it. Vaggi always thought their relationship was “serious,” but… Lute would never admit that.
“Seriously, you're addicted to that shit at this point, Lute.”
“Can't blame me, caffeine is caffeine, and this is all you guys seem to have, so…”
“Fair point, Lute.”
Lute took a good sip of the coffee; it burned the inside of her mouth, but she liked the heat. Her blood usually seemed to run cold, surprisingly, since she's not just cold-blooded at this point.
“Y’know Lute... It's funny we're down here for literally opposite reasons, yet here we are… fine with each other… somehow.”
Lute sighed.
“Yeah, I… wasn't doing alright last year. Sorry about that…”
Lute glanced at the floor, staring at the dust gathering at the bottom of the counters.
“Lute, you don't need to say sorry. You have mental issues, I get that.”
Vaggi said, pouring her own coffee.
“I- shut up, Vags.”
“Hey, look, you're pronouncing it correctly. That’s an improvement!”
“Oh, shut up!”
Lute nudged Vaggi, and she laughed. Oh, how she missed this.
“God, what time is it even…”
“It's like eight. We’re just weird, Lute.”
“Damn even Husk is asleep guess no alcohol for me this morning”
Vaggie rolled her eyes gently resting her hand on Lute's shoulder
“Maybe it's for the better you don't need to be drunk all the time y'know?"
“Don't remind me, vags…I mean Adam encouraged me to be drunk because it helped me behave or some shit”
“Didn't he name you after the instrument lute..?”
Lute stared blankly at Vaggi
“I actually know how to play the lute and he named me after the word lieutenant"
“Of course you do, you're so weird, you know that?”
Lute chuckles and looks at Vaggi
“Neither of us would be down here if it wasn't for us being weird vags”
“Fair point Fair point”
Vaggi chuckled back before walking across the kitchen and washing her cup lute hadn't even noticed Vaggi finished she checked her own cup only a few drops left in the cup
“I should probably wash mine too..”
“Don't I have you, Lute”
Vaggi grabbed Lute's cup and then walked back over to wash it as well
“Oh-vags you don't need to”
“If you keep calling me Vags I'll keep pampering you simple”
“Well that's bullshit”
‘And why exactly is it bullshit ?”
“I-well-”
“Exactly”
“Well what's even the point of pampering me I'm gonna still be an ass to you anyway”
“Because I know how malnourished you were in heaven so helping you not be makes me feel like I'm actually…worth something”
“I know how that can feel…like something is the only thing giving your life any meaning… that's why I stayed in the exorcist army for so long…well one of the reasons”
Lute glanced away Vaggi resting her hand on her shoulder
“If you ever need to talk everyone at this hotel is open… except for cherri and angel they have their own shit they're dealing with”
“Right, Cherri's bullshit with Pendleton's bullshit…”
Vaggi stared at the lute for a second
“Who the hell is pendleton…?”
“Oh right the slimy snake guy the speaker called him Pendleton”
“His name…was Pendleton?
"The more you know I guess”
“Anyway I should probably head back up before Charlie wakes up without me next to her”
“See you later then vags”
Lute's eyes follow Vaggi as she walks up the stairs
“I still remember when neither of us were down here”
“When the three of us weren't down here”
Emily reminded stepping into the kitchen as well
“Well me and you are different from Vaggi Em we’re choosing to be down here… Vaggi didn't get a choice…well she did but that's a different story not a good time for that one”
“Oh?”
“I said not now Em”
“Well, I-”
“I said not now Emily."
“If you insist~”
Lute just looked away
“I'm going to my bedroom…no you can't come I wanna be alone for a minute”
“Aw, okay, nice talking to you, Lulu!”
Lute walked up the stairs her legs starting to hurt by the last step finally reaching her room closing and locking the door
“Adam was right..this redemption bullshit is…bullshit I hate this…I don't fucking wanna stay sober, how else am I supposed to escape? Why am I even staying here?”
Lute groaned out before resting against the wall and sliding down to a sitting position her arm resting on her knee
“Adam needs to get out of my head…I need to get this shit dealt with. This has to be some form of psychosis at this point.”
Lute laughed to herself looking into her mirror
“God…how do I still try to make myself the victim…if anything I'm the abuser…I treated Vaggie like shit…Well, I still do… Emily is the only person who ever cared for me, and I treat her like shit to…and then…Adam…ugh I feel like throwing up just saying that name”
Lute groaned
“And I'm talking to myself again..I wonder if charle actually believes I can be redeemed or if she just pities me.”
Lute knew she shouldn't be pitied she was a monster filled with nothing but bloodlust
“Maybe it could be different this time..love is worth another shot..? Right?”