Work Text:
bzz bzz bzz
barry b benson switches his antennae to call mode
"yellow?"
"wassup, barry b benson. its me, adam. come down so we can hang dude"
"aight bro chill im coming"
"you're what"
"bro"
"haha lol joke lang come down here already though"
"aight i just gotta honey up my fuzz"
"okay loser"
barry un-call-modes his antennae
barry honeys up his fuzz
barry goes downstairs and exits the house. adam is waiting outside
"hey adam im here whats up" says barry b fucking benson
"yeah bro im just chilling here" says adam
"aight bro"
"yeah bro y'hear tomorrow is mating flight yeah?"
"brooo i dont want to mate the queen"
"yeah you'd never catch up to her anyway lol slow ass"
"dude i literally just dont want to go fuck th queen to just die"
"skill issue tbh. hey isnt it so cool that they let me join the drones gang even though im a stinger holder"
"yeah bro this colony is chill af but i wish i could become a pollen jock"
"the butch lesbian pollinators? yeah i see what you mean they're cool af but like lowkey im really looking forward to the queen-drones orgy. the die-immediately-after thing is gonna be soo worth the fuck"
"broo i wish i could be a pollinator but i don't like want to be a girl to do it, yknow? oh not that you transitioned just to do the drone mating with the queen ik thats just a side perk for you"
"yeah dude its chill i get it. yoo look over there some of the awesome butch lesbian pollinators are going out for their shift"
"woah dude hey yknow what? imma follow them like f it"
"dude serious? the mating flight is literally tomorrow"
"duddeee i already said i literally dont care about the queen"
"aight bro if you say so. imma practice my flying so i can mate her first"
"and im gonna see the outside world"
"good luck bro" adam says
"thanks bro you too" barry says
adam flies off
barry b benson decides to disguise himself as a lady by putting on a stinger so hes less likely to be caught
as the awesome butch lesbian jocks fly off to go pollinate, barry b benson sneaks behind. everyone notices but they dont care cuz theyre nonchalant like that.
"mmm wow the world is so big so many flowers they are so pretty" says barry b benson
barry b benson flies onto the stamen of a flower
"wowee this pollen is so juicy better rub it into my legs to bring back"
barry b benson looks over to the awesome and nonchalant butch lesbian jocks, who are collecting pollen so nonchalantly and with such great aura that barry b benson almost explodes but he doesnt because he dies later in the story instead
barry b benson is so caught up in gathering pollen from the different flowers that he doesnt realise that all the awesome and nonchalant butch lesbian jocks have flown away because they were so swift and efficient that they finished really fast (thats what she said)
now barry b benson is lost in the wild and he happens to fly into the bussling city street where he lands on a truck windshield. there is a mosquito next to him
"yo hey dude whats up" says barry b benson to the mosquito next to him
"bro shut the hell up stop squirming" replies the mosquito
"why bro"
"bro you a fuckin hive holer? you aint never been in the outside world?? loser?"
"dude i was literally born yesterday"
"aight my bad bro. wait what"
"nah bro im exaggurating i was born like two weeks ago lol"
"okay bro"
"wait so why do we gotta stay still?"
"cuz else the people driving the car will turn on the wipers and kill us all. just look at joey over there"
the camera pans over to a dead cricket
"oh damn" says barry b benson
"yeah dude. hey wait bro is that pollen on your leg fuzz bro?"
"yeah? what about it"
"bro... im starving... can i have some of that shit"
"what i thought mosquitos drank blood"
"BRO we drink blood AND pollen seriously what kind of one tone diet would blood be?? idiot"
"aight aight fine bro take some of my pollen"
barry b benson gives the mosquito some of the pollen he collected
the mosquit takes it and sniffs it up
"aghhhhhh yeahhhhh"
"bro?"
"mmmmmmmmmmm"
"bro ???"
"hghahghbhghhhhhh"
"uh okay. im outta here"
barry b benson flies off swoosh. he accidentaly flies into a car. everyone in the car freaks out and tries to kill barry b benson but they all fail because barry is too swift for them.
barry exits the car and he is almost hit by multiple cars just like he was hit by the truck and then he spots a windowsill with flowers and is all "wow i love flowers" so he flies up to the flowerful windowsill
the windowsill is a windowsill of a window which is the window of an apartment room where a guy is having an interview
"So I made this brochure! Look, it's triple columned and double folding, isn't that so cool?"
"Mhm okay now for interviewing, Mr Ken"
a lady comes into the room and approaches the windowsill and is about to water the flowers when she notices the little barry b benson resting on one of them
"oh hi little bee >///< you're such a cute little bee"
barry b benson has never felt the touch of a woman before and in his mind he goes awoooooggaaaaa and his eyes pop out like boioioing and his tongue rolls out but he can't reply to the hot lady because he was told not to blow his sentient bee cover.
"bzz bzz" he says instead of words
"oh wow he replied >///< teehee hi little bee my name is vanessa"
"bzz bzz"
ive always wanted to fuck a bee. GOD i fucking hope they're secretly sentient, thinks vanessa. but not out loud because shes not weird like that
"wowee >///< sorry little bee, i gotta go, i dont want to disturb my boyfriend ken's interview see you later little bee"
vanessa walks away but then barry b benson follows her and is like
"WAIT!"
and he flies into the room and he flies towards ken
barry b benson locks and loads his greates pick up line
"ni hao fine shyt--"
"HOLY SHIT IS THAT A BEE?" says ken
ken takes off his boot and squishes barry b benson in one fell swoop
when ken lifts his boot, barry b benson is a blob of yellow mush. totally dead. one hundo percent
"phew, that was a close one. i could have gotten stung" says ken, successful bee killer
"WHAT." says vanessa "WHY DID YOU KILL THAT POOR LITTLE BEE!??"
vanessa grabs ken's brochure and rips it up in an attempt to scoop the bee off of the bottom of ken's boot
"MY BROCHURE! what the HELL vanessa??? i literally worked SO hard on that?"
"oh get over it im TRYING to save a bee here"
"you literally DIDNT need to RIP UP MY BROCHURE to scrape it off my fucking shoe?? and its totally dead anyway"
"you're the one that ended its poor little life"
"vanessa i'm literally deathly allergic?? one sting and it would have ended MY poor little life"
"why is his life any less valuable than yours!?"
"what!?? that's literally a bee!? they live for like a month and die!?"
"oh, so you're saying you're better than a bee?"
"are you saying you would prioritise a bee's life over mine???"
"well its not MY fault you have a stupid bee allergy"
the job interviewers laugh
"haha lol you have a bee allergy?? little baby bitch boy bee allergy??? lmao"
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE I COULD LITERALLY DIE IF A BEE STUNG ME" shouts ken
"the bees are very important for pollinating nature!!!" says vanessa
"oh, if they're SO important then you should go and date one!"
"that's what i've wanted my WHOLE FUCKING LIFE. hell, i'd even skip out on yogurt night to hook up with a bee!"
"you'd skip yogurt night for a fucking BEE??? for FUCKING a bee??? you know what?? vanessa, you are such a fucking bitch and you clearly dont care if i fucking die, we are breaking up RIGHT NOW."
"whaaaaat thats crazy"
"and im done with this job interview! im not gonna work with guys that act this bitchy to other people who knows what the other guys at your company are like"
"geez you're a fucking loser" said one of the interviewers
"i am DONE with everyone in this room! i'm gonna start packing right now so i can get out of this fucking apartment"
time skip: overmorrow (the day after tomorrow)
ken is chilling with his best bud
"oh thank fucking GOD i broke up with her" says ken
"yeah you dodged a huge red flag there dude" replies his best bud
"wow yogurt night with my best bud is so much better than with that bitch"
"yeah dude high five"
they high five
meanwhile, adam is sitting on the queen's lap
"wow who would've thought that i wouldve survived the mating flight"
"hey babe maybe its because of your immaculate transmasculine aura"
"wow thanks, my queen"
they make out, sloppy style
the end