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Arthur was having a normal ahh day, walking in the streets, when suddenly he heard a loud CRUNCH. He looked under his shoe and saw he stepped on a vintage pocket watch.
“Hmmmm….”
He bent down and picked it up, adjusting his glasses as he inspected it.
“I wonder… who left their vintage pocket watch here…?” he asked aloud in his whiny ahh voice.
He looked around, trying to find the owner of the watch but all he saw was a bobby.
“Excuse me constable Jay, do you happen to know who this pocket watch belongs to…?
“Ill only tell you if you give me ALCOHOL!”
“I'm fresh out…”
Arthur had to go on a side quest to find some alcohol for this bobby. He walked along the street until he found “BADDIE BELOS’S ALCOHOL STORE!!!”
“What the sigma..?!” Arthur exclaimed in a pussy ahh manner as he walked in, seeing a crusty ahh old man in makeup.
“HELLO GIRLY POP! Welcome to Baddie belos alcohol store. What can I get you on this GLORIOUS day?”
“I would like some scotch pls…” Arthur got on his knees and begged like a good boy.
Baddie belos barked at him and handed him the scotch.
“You can only pay in… TWERK DOLLARS!” BELOS SCREAMED.
“OKAY!” ARTHURT REPLIED.
“IF YOU BEAT ME IN A TWERK BATTLE YOU CAN HAVE THAT SCOTCH!”
So Arthur twerked like he never twerked before. He twerked so hard that the bottles all came off the shelves and started twerking around him too. Baddie belos’s jaw DROPPED.
“I… have never SEEN such twerking before! FINE! TAKE MY WHOLE STOCK!”
Arthur was eternally grateful and even gave Baddie belos a smack in the ass as a sign of thank you.
“I really need to find the owner of this watch…” Arthur looked down at the watch worriedly, if he can't find the owner then, something terrible will happen, because God said so.
That night, Artie went to sleep and dreamt of a train.
“No… mo… no… no… no,... NOT THE TRAIN! PERCYYYYY1!!!!!!”
He jolted awake. What if the trains came back to fight? Just then, he heard a loud train whistle, IT SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF HIM.
“OH MU GOD!”
He looked out the window and to his horror… a train had come off the track and was HEADING STRAIGHT TOWARD HIS HOUSE!
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Arthur ran faster than he ever did before. He ran out of his house, he ran on top of the lake, he ran on the walls, he ran in the air. The train was coming fast. Arthur looked behind him and saw it coming straight at him.
“YOU WON'T GET AWAY THIS TIME, ARTHUR!” the train sniggered (IT'S A REAL WORD LOOK IT UP).
“NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO, PLEASE!”
“I killed Percival, and now I WILL KILL YOU! GOODBYE HASTINGS BLOODLINE! BOOMMMMMMMMMMM!”
The train ran straight into Arthur. He screamed as his blood and guts flew everywhere.
Donald trump jumped up and munched on the intestines like a hungry dog.
“YUM YUM!”
Arthur had been skinned alive and was now a skeleton. He got up rubbing his now bare skull.
“What the fuck happened to me, why…”
He saw his bare bones and screamed.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
He passed out and hours later he recovered and went back to the bobby with the scotch.
“Is this what you wante-”
“AGHHH OMG A SKELETON! WTFFFF!!!!????? Wait, is that scotch? NVM UR COOL!”
The bobby started guzzling that scotch like a glizzy.
Arthur was relieved that the bobby didn't care that he was a skeleton. But that relief didn't last long, what if that train came back? What if the train killed him like it did Percy?
He HAD to find the owner of this watch NOW.
“... i HAVE to find the owner of this watch NOW.” Arthur told the bobby.
“You HAVE to find the owner of that watch NOW.” The bobby replied.
“...”
“Didn’t you say you knew the owner?”
“Uhhhh..” the bobby ran off, leaving nothing but his underwear which had come straight off due to how fast he was running.
Arthur picked them up and gave em a sniff. YUM! I MEAN UH.
“These underpants will surely lead me to the owner of the vintage pocket watch.”
Arthur sniffed the trail of stench like a dog. It led him to a dilapidated old shack.
Shaq lived in this shack, smoking crack, with his duck named Quack, he’s picking up the slack, he’s gonna get Arthur back on track, Arthur’s suit is black, that’s why he came to a shack owned by Shaq.
“Hello Mr. Shaquille,” Arthur greeted.
“Hey Arthur! Are those undies mine?”
“I believe so, is this pocket watch yours as well?”
“Nah, that belongs to a guy that lives at 1320 West Shitvi-” he disappeared.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO! SHAQUILLE ONIEL HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!??!!? I NEEDED YOU AND YOU LEFT!”
Arthur crashed out hotly. Though, he did get an address, or at least part of one. He was assuming Shaq was going to say West Shitville Road. So he slithered off like a snake to West Shitville Road.
He found every house EXCEPT 1320.
“Okay… you’re just stalling at this point AUTHOR, where is THE HOUSE!”
Shii ion know.
“WELL I'M TIRED OF YOUR BULL SHIT, I'M OUT!”
Arthur left the page.
WAIT YOU CAN’T DO THAT?
Arthur came back.
“TELL ME WHERE IS THE HOUSE NOW-”
Train whistle.
Arthur stopped in his tracks. (pun fully intended)
“Tr-tr-tr-train….”
“Oh Arthur… you have been running from me but, don’t you see?”
“...”
“That pocket watch? Belongs to me.” the train revealed.
Arthur gasped, dropping the watch.
“No….. it.. Cant be… NOOOOOOOOOOOO”
“In fact, it was the watch I wore the day I killed Percival,” the train chuckled.
Arthur screamed as a boss bar appeared.
THE TRAIN
—--------------
“OMG WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I NEED TO FIGHT THE TRAIN?!”
Arthur started launching houses at the train.
The train screamed.
“GO HOUSES GO! GO!” Arthur put on a cheerleader fit with pom poms as he started cheering on the houses.
“Oh fuck,” the train said with despair, “Im cooked.”
The houses crushed the train like the wicked witch of the east and he died.
The pocket watch now belonged to Arthur, who was now married to a red townhouse named Robert.
THE END.