Chapter Text
The disrupted stone beneath Cal’s fingers are as cold as the body that lays in front of him. He’d closed Bode’s eyes after taking the final shot, and he couldn’t find it in himself to leave his friend alone. Merrin, BeeDee, and Kata gave him the space he needed to rest with the man he’d just killed. And here he was, having planted down upon the ground beside the other. Cal needed to get wood, stone–build pyres for the three people he lost–the people he cared about. Even after everything Bode did, parts of Cal couldn’t stop caring about him. He wasn’t a monster.
Bode was never a monster.
No matter how angry Cal had gotten at Bode for his actions.
Bode was his friend.
Bode could have been more had Cal not been a coward with his emotions. And now everything had gone heels up and underwater. Cere was dead. Eno was dead. Bode was dead. And now Cal was without a Master again; was without the woman who saved him, aided him, guided him… knighted him. And without the woman he could go to, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now.
He’d fallen. He lost everything. And now he was staring at the corpse of the man he’d trusted, loved, and hated. This could have all been stopped. This could have all been avoided–if only he’d open up. If only Bode opened up.
Cal knew there was no such thing as second chances.
But Force, if he could go back, tell Bode everything, stop this all from happening… he would. He’d do it for the lives they lost, the battles they lost, the friendships they’d made, the family they’d become.
Cal wanted them all back.
Even if it meant he would still be fallen.
He doesn’t think he can change that part of him.
Tears blurred Cal’s vision as he curled up, lacing his fingers with Bode’s. His chest clenched when he didn’t feel Bode squeeze back. A reminder of what Cal did. He scrunched his eyes closed, sobbing out and gritting his teeth. His tears were cool against his cheeks as he begged, pleaded, that he’d feel Bode’s hand squeeze back.
Please, Cal wept. This isn’t how it should have ended!
Cal blinks, his vision still out of focus from the tears in his eyes. When he opens them, his blood runs cold. It’s a moment of becoming sober–not from his emotions realizing what he had to face alone the consequences of his actions. But from his fallen friend. Bode… Bode is– Bode is staring directly at him. Gaze wide with dull and lifeless eyes, glazed over with a blue sheen that reflected no light. It couldn’t be possible. Bode was dead. But…
He was staring at Cal.
Startled, Cal lets go of Bode’s hand and gasps out. He scrambles to his feet, yet there was no floor to catch him. The ground gave way. Where he anticipated to be weightless and hit the ground below, Cal was suspended in the air. The platform above him cuts away from the rest of the temple, drifting off into nothingness. Cal swears he sees Bode’s face peek over the edge, eyes dark and cold.
Cal’s hair, his clothes, moves as if he’s underwater, whisping around him and kissing his cheeks, his wrists, anywhere where it floats by. Straps tangle with the air and in between his legs, tendrils that dare to ensnare his limbs. Cal’s afraid to open his mouth. Afraid to breath. The air is too cold around him, settling into his bones in a way he’d not felt since Ilum. He’d been so close to death then. This felt no different.
Cal wants to scream.
He doesn’t get the chance to.
Just there before him, something begins to grow. A pulse that makes his neck clench, two pulses that make his lungs ache, three pulses that make his muscles tighten, and soon enough… something floats in front of Cal. A stunning, shimmering white sphere, amorphous in its shape, ever changing. Each wave across its body reflects a spectrum of colors and light. Cal can feel the immense presence it has in the Force. It feels too big for its own good for something that is so small.
And somehow… it’s… familiar. The colors it shows, the presence it carries… Cal’s almost certain he knows what this it. And somewhere deep inside him, the answer is on his tongue. But when his mouth opens to say its name, only bubbles escape.
“Yes,” the orb speaks, pulsing with the voices of many, the voice of one, the voice of every tree, of every death–Cal can hear Bode’s voice in it too. “I am what you believe me to be.”
Tanalorr.
The very soul of the planet.
Cal had learned of nexxus’s eons ago when he was still a Padawan, about how each planet held the Force within it. And how some planets were stronger in the Force than others. Here, Cal was discovering, that Tanalorr was possibly far too strong a planet in the Force. His blood runs cold with the fear that landing on this planet was a horrible idea. That it should have stayed hidden away–after all… all it brought was pain and suffering.
“No, Cal Kestis…” it read his thoughts? “It brought you to me. As all things needed to happen.” He didn’t understand. Tanalorr wanted to meet him like this? When he’s at his lowest? When he’s fallen? The first time Cal saw Tanalorr was through rose-tinted glasses in the memory of another man. The first time Cal stepped on the soil of this planet was when he only had anger and revenge on his mind.
And now, of all times, Tanalorr gave him visage of Bode’s eyes open and watchful–judging. And the planet just allowed Cal to kill Bode. Let this all happen on its soil, just as it had in previous centuries. The planet lives for chaos, corruption, death.
Cal can’t talk; if he opens his mouth, more bubbles expel from it. He’s not even underwater. He doesn’t even know what he’s in.
“Child of the Force,” Tanalorr speaks again, the orb growing larger and brighter with each syllable. How did it speak? How did it breathe? “I know your wish. Your desire to bring back those you have lost. Those you have spilt the blood of. The very people you’d hope to come to your side.”
The voices of the ones he lost echoed in the back of his head, around him. Jaro’s strict teachings, Cere’s laughter, Eno’s wise words, Trilla’s desperation, Bravo’s camaraderie, Liz and Koob’s jokes, Gabs’ teasing… Bode’s love. The lives he’d either loved or ruined. What was Tanalorr getting at?
“I can fix it.”
Cal’s eyes widened.
Before Cal, two options appeared. One, a vague image of him, Merrin, Kata, BeeDee, and Greez, watching the pyre’s Cal had not created. The other was the entire Mantis crew, both old and new, Jaro, Trilla Bode–everyone.
“Before you lays two choices: one where you continue down this path, letting yourself rot in your grief and agony and rage. Or the other… where you can go back and fix everything.”
Cal stares between the two images before him. Could he really change the past? Make it so his own Master doesn’t die? Where they can escape Bracca and find the others that exist? Prauf wouldn’t have to sacrifice himself for Cal–everything, everything, would be good again. But what of them now? Here? In this timeline?
“This timeline will cease to exist, as if it had never happened in the first place. You will be plagued with the memories you already have. But is that not part of the price you must pay to bring the dead back?”
Cal would be able to find everyone again. Would be able to have his entire family back.
“The choice is made.”
Wait–what? Cal hadn’t fully thought it over yet!
He wasn’t given any more time. The soul of Tanalorr, the orb, pulses brighter and brighter, reflecting more and more light. It rises above Cal, blinding him. Bubbles roil around him as he tries to swim–move–anything. In a flash, the orb rushes towards Cal. Cal puts his hand up to protect himself, but feeling the impact still. Searing pain roars through his right palm, causing him to shout out in pain, muffled by whatever he was surrounded by. The pain grows and grows and grows–
Cal’s body is morphing with the pain. The agony of being torn asunder, stretched to unbelievable lengths. The world around him looks more akin to hyperspace than anything else. Specks of dust turn into stars that singe his skin as his very existence is altered before him. His vision blurs white as the stars around him grow brighter, as his body is pulled through whatever Tanalorr was putting him through. But it was pain, pure and aggressive pain.
It’s all too much. Tears–or, at least, what he believes are tears–burn his cheeks as he’s whipped around like a broken toy. He opens his mouth, screaming; his voice becoming nothing more than an echo in the Force.
He lands harshly on solid ground. His body aches, burns, he can’t breathe–
Cal turns over and coughs out water, spit… the small, iridescent leaves of Tanalorr’s flora, mixing with the shimmering teal water. It doesn’t stop coming out, his vision pricking with small dots. On one final cough, he’s able to take in his first gulp of air. It gets him dizzy, gripping the ground below him as he tries to catch his breath.
He brings his hand up to wipe his mouth, freezing when he spots something on his palm. Ever so small, there’s a blotch of discoloration on his hand. Deep within the creases and bends, a small, dark, amorphous shape. Cal doesn’t know what it is, isn’t even sure he can figure out what it could be. Other than the pain he felt, maybe it was just a part of what happened to him.
It’s small. But it’s there. And Cal is keenly aware of it now.
Though, above him, an all too familiar sound roars. Looking up, Cal spots the one thing he wished he didn’t:
An Inquisitor’s ship.
That meant the fall still happened. He fears the worst.
The ship flies further, but not too far from where Cal is which… he doesn’t recognize this planet. It’s definitely not Bracca, and it’s not any of the planets he knew of or visited. This wasn’t the Venator, and he wasn’t his younger self–something he’d thought he’d become given what Tanalorr showed him. This was unknown territory to him. But if there’s one thing he knows, it’s that no good comes from an Inquisitor showing up.
Cal runs towards the ship.
No matter how much his body protests, Cal runs. As fast as he can, through streets and ledges lined with soft glowing flowers. He can’t focus on that as he tries to pick up pace. His legs scream at him, not recovered from his body slipping through time and space, altering and changing. He didn’t have the familiarity of BeeDee on his shoulder. He–... he…
Cal was alone… again.
He’s tries not to think to hard about it as his jaw tenses and his eyes water. He needs to focus on getting to where the ship is. And as he gets closer and closer, he finds the ship landed and the front of a house blasted open. Shit–was he too late?
Movement and shouting inside told him otherwise.
Cal rushes in, grabbing his saber and igniting it, rushing to stand between the cowering body and the Inquisitor… herself. Cal knew her all too well. A hulking form, yellow leathery skin, claws of the like. The Ninth Sister. Masana Tide.
Her blade collides with Cal’s, the sparks flickering out as he holds himself steady. The center of his right palm aches. He doesn’t let it affect him, doesn’t let him lose his guard. He peeks behind him, seeing the woman staring up at him. Eyes all too familiar, hung in a large holopic on an Imperial Base.
Tayala Akuna. Alive. Breathing. Terrified.
Cal turns back and pushes Masana back with the Force. She growls, glaring down at him in a way that Cal hadn’t seen since Coruscant.
“Ha! What are you, huh? Some form of tiny Jedi?” Masana chides, laughing as she gets herself ready to fight. But Cal’s learned so much, grown so much, fallen so much. He’s fought Masana over the years–struggled against her, and was the one who took her life. And here she was, standing and throwing her blade at Cal. He deflects it, not losing his form. He’d have to kill her a second time.
Another mercy kill.
“Something like that,” Cal says coldly, shrugging a shoulder as he plants his feet.
Heat spurs from their blades colliding as Cal shields Tayala from ever getting hit. He won’t let her die in this timeline–won’t let her be taken by an Inquisitor. In a way, Cal is grateful he’s facing off against Masana again; he’s not sure how he would be able to handle seeing Trilla.
“Why won’t you die?!” the Inquisitor exclaims, out of breath and pulling back. She brings her hand up in a move Cal knows all too well. He sends his blade out quickly, her severed arm falling beside her foot, the cut end smoking as Cal’s blade returns to his hand.
“Masana Tide,” Cal firmly states. He’s been here before. Masana stares at him wide-eyed. In this world, it’s clear she’s never met him, and that makes something turn inside Cal. Something he doesn’t like. The palm of his right hand burns a little more. “This ends today.”
“Like hell it does!” Masana charges at Cal. With a quick step, and a rise of his blade, just like he had on Coruscant, Masana’s body falls. Her saber disengages and her head rolls towards her ship. Cal drops to his knees, turning his own saber off as he takes in a few deep breaths. There’s a soft shift behind him–Tayala.
Cal turns, hooking his hilt to his belt and holding his hands up. Showing her that he’s not armed towards her. He’s so dizzy.
“It’s okay–it’s okay,” he starts. “I’m a friend. I won’t hurt you. My name is Cal. Cal Kestis. I’m a Jedi. I’m here to help–”
Cal was cut off by Tayala rushing towards him and wrapping her arms around him. The impact was intense, nearly knocking Cal further back onto the floor. Her hands grip into the back of his shirt as she takes a few deep breaths in.
“Thank you, thank you,” her words were muffled in Cal’s collar. “I thought I was done for.”
“You aren’t,” Cal hugs her back. A woman he’s only heard stories of, only seen a holopic of, is now in his arms, thanking him for saving her like. “But we need to get out of here. Is there somewhere we can go?”
“Yes–! Yes.”
Tayala stands, taking Cal’s hand in hers. She helps him to his feet and grabs the bag that had been next to her. She looks over their shoulders at Masana’s body one last time before rushing off. She leads Cal through different streets than where he’d come from, guiding him towards what looked like a port.
“My husband has our daughter,” she stars. Husband. Cal’s throat goes dry. “I told him not to wait for me, to take our child and run far away. But I can see him again! I can see my daughter again! You can meet them!” Cal felt sick.
Tayala brings them to a specific spot, seeing the ship there having not taken off yet, though the ramp was starting to rise. Tayala waves her arm, shouting Wait! To the driver. The ramp stops, lowers.
And out runs the very man Cal had killed.
Bode Akuna.